The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[miranda99]

To be honest, I don't think this is a case of the kids making bad choices, I think it's the parent that made the bad choices. Don't worry this isn't flaming, I too think that the OP reacted rightly and correctly after the event

 

However, allowing 14 and 12 years old to stay up in a cabin with other kids without supervision after 1am - apologies if I got this wrong but that's the impression I got - is a bad choice on the part of of the parent. Im sure her kids are fine kids, just average teenagers - but a 12, 14 and 16 year old unsupervised after 1am isn't what I would do.

 

But it seems that the OP has learned by her mistake so hopefully all is good - but as I said, the bad choices weren't the kids - they were just being kids.

[bobsfamily]

However, allowing 14 and 12 years old to stay up in a cabin with other kids without supervision after 1am - apologies if I got this wrong but that's the impression I got -

Yeah you got it wrong. She had no IDEA that the other kids were in the cabin, found out when the "cops" came.... should she have considered that it might happen? Hindsight is 20/20.

[momof4boys]

INHO....you Can get a medal for "Mother of the Year."

 

A MotY...is a mom who loves her kids enough to make them face the consequences of their behvior, both good and bad....!

 

Your boys learned a lot from this...about other people and responsibilty!

 

Thanks for sharing.

[rktilleryj]

Yeah you got it wrong. She had no IDEA that the other kids were in the cabin, found out when the "cops" came.... should she have considered that it might happen? Hindsight is 20/20.

 

Read the original post again:

 

"So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else. "

[luvdisney2010]

I have one question that is just a general question for everyone. I guess it may be hard for me to understand because my son is only 8; however, I have taught high school and middle school, so I know the types of mischief kids can find purposely or accidentally.

 

Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves? If a cabin is too small for everyone to be in one, have one parent with one group and the other parent with the other group. Often but not always, it seems like when these discussions occur on this board, they involve children that have had a room by themselves.

 

I am not flaming anyone. I just cannot grasp giving my kid his own room or my kid and his friend (since he has no siblings) their own room with no direct parental supervision. I don't care how much I trust him, but that is just me.

[kr8z]

Yes...I have a kid. My kid is now 25. He's been financially independent since 21....and has owned his own home since he was 22. And he did this without ever getting into trouble or causing me grief.

 

Maybe I have "a gem". Or maybe I'm a good mother. Or, maybe he learned how to behave by example.

 

Please explain....

How is it responsible parenting to allow a 16 year old to be in charge of a 14 year old and a 12 year old....until "they are ready to end the night"?

 

I don't think I'm a conservative person at all....just realistic.

 

The OP is lucky that she only lost $250....and not 250 lives were lost.

 

Norman Bates was a wonderful son too. He never caused his Mother grief. In fact, he took great care of her for many years. Norman even very successfully ran in own hotel.

[twindaddy]

I have one question that is just a general question for everyone. I guess it may be hard for me to understand because my son is only 8; however, I have taught high school and middle school, so I know the types of mischief kids can find purposely or accidentally.

 

Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves? If a cabin is too small for everyone to be in one, have one parent with one group and the other parent with the other group. Often but not always, it seems like when these discussions occur on this board, they involve children that have had a room by themselves.

 

I am not flaming anyone. I just cannot grasp giving my kid his own room or my kid and his friend (since he has no siblings) their own room with no direct parental supervision. I don't care how much I trust him, but that is just me.

 

My girls are 6, so I havent reached this decision yet....but lets say you have teenagers who are decent enough, age 15. I assume you would leave them home alone, and if old enough and licensed let them drive, what is the difference between that and having a room alone across the hall? You can turn off the charging privledges to the room, so that is not an issue...

 

I think we will go with connecting rooms when we run out of space in a few years, or if we are worred about their behavior have daddy alone in an inside and mommy can bunk with the girls in the balcony room, and daddy can hope for conjugal visits ;) I think DW would like that option because my snoring has been compared to the sounds of trains making love.

 

I kinda like the idea of using it as a reward for the my girls, bring me good grades and you can have your own room on our upcoming cruise.

 

I am by no means a perfect parent, one of my girls just told me she likes to eat her boogers because they taste "yummy and salty":confused: Yeah, not really dad of the year here!

[srlafleur]

I was a "good kid",

I am 55 and my mother is 88. She still does not know and will never find out some of the things I did as a kid;)

 

 

+1 :rolleyes:

[gfy012]

Norman Bates was a wonderful son too. He never caused his Mother grief. In fact, he took great care of her for many years. Norman even very successfully ran in own hotel.

 

Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!

[srlafleur]

I have one question that is just a general question for everyone. I guess it may be hard for me to understand because my son is only 8; however, I have taught high school and middle school, so I know the types of mischief kids can find purposely or accidentally.

 

Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves? If a cabin is too small for everyone to be in one, have one parent with one group and the other parent with the other group. Often but not always, it seems like when these discussions occur on this board, they involve children that have had a room by themselves.

 

I am not flaming anyone. I just cannot grasp giving my kid his own room or my kid and his friend (since he has no siblings) their own room with no direct parental supervision. I don't care how much I trust him, but that is just me.

 

My college roommate hitchhiked (and took some trains) across Europe, with her parents blessing, the entire summer before coming to college. And SHE graduated H.S. a year early. That would make her 16? 17 tops. She had some family connections to meet up with in a few countries (her father was VP of a big international company). Yes, there was trouble to be had, including needing to get a cholera vaccine because of some epidemic going around in one of the countries and sleeping off the resultant fever in a corn field, and a bit of illegal substance use on a roof in Turkey, but she survived just fine, made it through college, grad school overseas, and is a productive, nearly senior citizen. But that was back when kids were given much more freedom and responsibility than they are now and were expected to learn from their mistakes rather than having been pampered and mollycoddled until being suddenly thrust out into the world with no real life experiences.

Apropos of nearly nothing - just saying.

[luvdisney2010]

My college roommate hitchhiked (and took some trains) across Europe, with her parents blessing, the entire summer before coming to college. And SHE graduated H.S. a year early. That would make her 16? 17 tops. She had some family connections to meet up with in a few countries (her father was VP of a big international company). Yes, there was trouble to be had, including needing to get a cholera vaccine because of some epidemic going around in one of the countries and sleeping off the resultant fever in a corn field, and a bit of illegal substance use on a roof in Turkey, but she survived just fine, made it through college, grad school overseas, and is a productive, nearly senior citizen. But that was back when kids were given much more freedom and responsibility than they are now and were expected to learn from their mistakes rather than having been pampered and mollycoddled until being suddenly thrust out into the world with no real life experiences.

Apropos of nearly nothing - just saying.

 

It is funny that you mention this. DH and I were discussing how two of his coworkers leave their daughter home alone while they are at work. She is 8 or 9. A neighbor periodically checks in on her. DH was freaking out because he would never do that with our son, couldn't imagine ever doing that, etc., etc. I looked up the laws for our state out of curiosity. There is no minimum age for a minor to stay home alone. It reminded me of when I was growing up, I had several friends as early as first or second grade that were home alone after school. Some lived in the same neighborhood, so they could play together. A mom or two might have looked out for them, but they were latchkey kids until one of the parents came home from work. It was a much different time, and they knew how to take care of themselves. Either that, or they were too innocent to know differently. It was also a very small town where everyone watched out for each other. It isn't like this anymore.

[MsTabbyKats]

Norman Bates was a wonderful son too. He never caused his Mother grief. In fact, he took great care of her for many years. Norman even very successfully ran in own hotel.

 

 

Was there a point to that comment....or was it just another dumb remark?

[Warm Breezes]

I have one question that is just a general question for everyone. I guess it may be hard for me to understand because my son is only 8; however, I have taught high school and middle school, so I know the types of mischief kids can find purposely or accidentally.

 

Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves? If a cabin is too small for everyone to be in one, have one parent with one group and the other parent with the other group. Often but not always, it seems like when these discussions occur on this board, they involve children that have had a room by themselves.

 

I am not flaming anyone. I just cannot grasp giving my kid his own room or my kid and his friend (since he has no siblings) their own room with no direct parental supervision. I don't care how much I trust him, but that is just me.

 

I have done it on our last 3 cruises with no issues. Our kids (18 and 15 now, 16 and 13 the first time we booked separate rooms) have never gotten into any trouble at home, in school, or in sports. They have never given us any reason to not trust them. On our cruises they prefer to hang out with us or each other and do not get into hanging out with kids they don't know. Out of 9 cruises they just never have. We always get extra keys so we can enter their room at anytime. They know this.

 

One of our rules is that we always know where each other is, adults and kids, and we inform the other party if plans change. They always eat with dinner with us, go to the evening show with us, and then call it a night at the same time we do - their choice, not Mom's rules. They have no reason to go out because they don't make friends to sneak out and meet or to let into their room. The alcohol is locked up in there room and I can guarantee they won't smoke...they can't stand the smell and DD even turned a boy down flat once who asked her to go on some fair rides with him, because she saw him smoking...a big turn off for her.

 

My children have earned their freedom and my trust...but that doesn't mean we don't check up on them every once in a while when they are in the room on their own or off doing something on their own. I've never caught them doing anything other than what they were supposed to be doing, so they have kept their freedom and our trust.

 

IMHO they should be old enough to have their own room at 12. That is the age they were responsible enough to babysit (at least my kids were and I was at that age). If they are responsible enough to babysit then they should be responsible enough to have their own room across the hall on a cruise ship...if they have proven themselves trustworthy and responsible. Some kids just aren't. If mine weren't, they wouldn't have their own room.

[Lyncoya]

Was there a point to that comment....or was it just another dumb remark?

 

There was a point, it just went WAYYYY over your head...:rolleyes:

[twindaddy]

There was a point, it just went WAYYYY over your head...:rolleyes:

 

Its tough to get humor when you have blinders on, remember how perfect her kids are

[HImom]

We have left our kids alone together at home when we've gone out from when they were about 10 & 12. When they went on an overnight at school, the kids were put in hotel rooms with no adults (chaperones were in rooms on the same floor but NOT in any of the kids' rooms). This was from about middle school & also during HS. Bags were searched (by school personnel) before they were put on the bus/plane -- no alcohol or drugs allowed. We never had any problems.

 

One year a few kids on HS trip to another country ordered & drank beer in the hotel lobby. They did not cause any problems to anyone. They were sent back home & then expelled from school, even though it was legal in the country where they drank it. Folks are divided as to whether the punishment was overly severe.

 

When we vacation, we have never booked separate rooms for our kids--we all end up in the same room (more economical & more time to visit with one another). Last time we ended up in a one & a half-bedroom suite, which had a divider between our half of the room & theirs. "Kids" are now 22 & 24.

[nealstuber]

I have one question that is just a general question for everyone. I guess it may be hard for me to understand because my son is only 8; however, I have taught high school and middle school, so I know the types of .......Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves?

 

Because at some point before they are 18, they have to learn how to handle having a room by themselves.

 

For the life of me, I don't understand people who think children become adults simply because they're rode the earth around the sun a certain number of times.

 

Any how, there is WAY more potential for them to get in trouble after school. Many parents work longer than school is in session. Even if you have been able to make the decsion to keep one parent home to "be there" there is a high likelyhood that they have friends whose parents did not make the same choice.

 

Of course it helps to set rules and technology makes it easier to have kids check it - but in the end you have to trust they will make good decsions. I beleive good decsions are made based on personal experience.

[srlafleur]

 

Why would a parent or parents permit children 18 or under room by themselves? If a cabin is too small for everyone to be in one, have one parent with one group and the other parent with the other group. Often but not always, it seems like when these discussions occur on this board, they involve children that have had a room by themselves.

Because at 12, they were babysitting younger siblings as well as other peoples' kids. Because at 16 my kids were driving themselves and their younger siblings to and from work, school and other activities. Because at 18 they could living away at college or even be serving in the military overseas, shooting real guns and everything.

[Warm Breezes]

Because at some point before they are 18, they have to learn how to handle having a room by themselves.

 

For the life of me, I don't understand people who think children become adults simply because they're rode the earth around the sun a certain number of times.

 

Any how, there is WAY more potential for them to get in trouble after school. Many parents work longer than school is in session. Even if you have been able to make the decsion to keep one parent home to "be there" there is a high likelyhood that they have friends whose parents did not make the same choice.

 

Of course it helps to set rules and technology makes it easier to have kids check it - but in the end you have to trust they will make good decsions. I beleive good decsions are made based on personal experience.

 

I agree. My DS turned 18 in May. He is now and has always been one of the most respectful and trustworthy kids I've known. He did not turn that way overnight on his 18th birthday.

 

From the time he started walking and talking we started with rules, disciplining (not spanking), and giving him freedom to do more things the older and more responsible he became. By 11 we started allowing him to be home for short (hour or less) periods on his own. By 12 we started giving him the responsiblity to watch over his sister after school. By 13 we started giving him the responsibility for getting them both out the door to catch the bus in the morning and watching his sister during the day in the summer. For financial reasons we did not start booking them their own room until he was 16. But if we would have had the budget for it, we would have started when he was 13.

 

Always with freedom comes responsibility. Rules should always be put into place, consequences spelled out and followed through on. I haven't had to discipline this child since he was a grade schooler...and even then it was rare. He knew we would follow through. He also learned from a young age that the more reponsible he was in the decisions he made, the more freedom and trust we gave him. It's a lesson that starts at toddler age and goes through the teenage years so when 18 comes, they are ready to handle the responsibility of being an adult. I am very proud of the responsible young man DS has become...and it didn't happen overnight when he turned 18.

[Sillyjilly]

So, I just got off Magic today. I took my 3 darling sons, 12, 14, and 16. Let me preface the story by telling a few things. My kids are no angels. They are boys. They act like boys. Nor are they hooligans. They are pretty much A/B honor students, but I am on a first name basis with the assistant principal at both the junior high and the high school. Please understand, these people actually LIKE my kids, they are really NOT horrid, the trouble is usually talking too much in class. It is NEVER them being disrespectful to adults or anything like that. So, mine are smart, very social, athletic, what I would consider "normal" teenagers.

 

We have been on 6 cruises together, 4 of which I took them by myself. We went on 3 this year...so we're all veterans and I have my rules, which I've been easing up on a little over the years, because they've done so well with the extra freedom on a cruise ship. So, this time, instead of making them come in by 1, I told them they could stay out later but they had to check in by 1 and tell me exactly where they were going to be. Still wasn't allowing them to go to anyone else's cabin because that makes me nervous.

 

So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else.

 

At 2:30 my 12 and 14 year old are shaking me awake telling me I have to get up right now because security has to talk to me about thier cabin (the 2 older boys were across the hall from me). So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award.

 

Security is in there, 4 of them, taking pictures of the damage and letting my 16 year old have it. He, thank God, is in full "yessir" "nosir" mode. Apparently, one of the new friends that came over brought beer. I found out how 16 year olds get this, the 21 year old siblings buy it fot them. So, he had 3 beers in there, which I guess the little turds shared. But the real problem started when this kid decided to have a cigarette in the cabin. He lit it in there and set off the alarm. When the alarm went off, the other kids scattered. The kid with the cigarette knocked one of the light fixtures down trying to run out and then dropped the cigarette on the carpet!

 

So, we have broken light fixture, burnt carpet, cabin smoking rules broken. Then I had to sign a form saying I would do a better job of supervising my children. It was fabulous, really. I did a better job right then and there, I had the 2 older ones strip their beds and make pallets in my room to sleep on. It was a good lesson for all of us I suppose.

 

They fixed the light fixture and actually only charged me the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in the cabin. It didn't ruin our cruise or anything. My kids were all actually better behaved than usual after that. It gave them a pretty good scare, so all in all, not so bad...and let me know they're not quite ready for more responsibility just yet. Though, my oldest son will be giving me half his paychecks till the money is paid back...so I guess he got a little more responsibility and adult fun after all. :D

 

Oh, funniest thing ever...the next night, my 12 year old and I went to dinner alone, so we're at a 2 top with an older couple seated about 4 inches away from us at their own 2 top. Naturally conversation ensues...so they find out I'm alone with my 3 teenage boys...and they ask if I heard about the poor lady who got woke up by security when her kids set off the fire alarm!! Good news travels fast!

 

Thanks for the laugh! Love your humor in all of it.

 

I wouldn't have pursued the others either. Cheap lesson learned by your children.:)

[kellyq]

On our first cruise, my son was 16. He met other boys his age - 4 in total that were inseparable the entire cruise. They enjoyed the teen club quite a bit (I forget the name of it). Well one night, the staff forgot to lock the door. My son and 2 of the boys decided to go in and "re-arrange" the club. They spent an hour in their without detection. All they did was re-arrange things - no damage was done. I kind of thought it was a funny prank LOL. The staff was clueless as to what happened - they didn't fess up to them.

[Gailerina]

On our first cruise, my son was 16. He met other boys his age - 4 in total that were inseparable the entire cruise. They enjoyed the teen club quite a bit (I forget the name of it). Well one night, the staff forgot to lock the door. My son and 2 of the boys decided to go in and "re-arrange" the club. They spent an hour in their without detection. All they did was re-arrange things - no damage was done. I kind of thought it was a funny prank LOL. The staff was clueless as to what happened - they didn't fess up to them.

 

I never found pranks like thus funny. They made the staff do more work to open on time. Their behavior was wrong .

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[oncruisecontrol]

On our first cruise, my son was 16. He met other boys his age - 4 in total that were inseparable the entire cruise. They enjoyed the teen club quite a bit (I forget the name of it). Well one night, the staff forgot to lock the door. My son and 2 of the boys decided to go in and "re-arrange" the club. They spent an hour in their without detection. All they did was re-arrange things - no damage was done. I kind of thought it was a funny prank LOL. The staff was clueless as to what happened - they didn't fess up to them.

This WAS a prank (though, not funny to me), and no one got hurt, but............oftentimes pranks turn out to be not so funny, when at first, they seemed like no big deal. You never know when something seemingly innocent might cause harm to someone else. Clearly, from your post, you were aware of what your boys had done as you stated that you "kind of thought it was a funny prank". Somehow, though, had I done such a thing as your boys did when I was a teenager, and had my parents known about it, I know they would have marched me right down to that club to apologize and to put the furniture back to its original configuration. That would have been embarassing for me. So, knowing ahead of time what the consequences would be, it is doubtful that I would have done any such thing in the first place. Too many parents, by laughing at the bad behavior of their kids, condone it. JMHO.