The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[Dani4Hedgies]

OP,

Wonderful way you handled yourself and your kids with what happened kudos for you and them with coming clean to us about it so we could ALL learn. For those flamers that are going off on you people wake up, unless you know OP kids and can attest to them being bad kids KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT about what rules she has. SHE knows her kids and made their rules based on that just like every other parent (myself included does).

 

And just like us when her kids messed up she changed their rules and by doing so not only did her kids learned and UNDERSTAND what they did that was wrong but how to be an adult and admit when they messed up. Gods know we have too many adults who can't do that today lets NOT TRASH anyone who is trying to teach their kids that now.

[tea4ular]

While I appreciate the honesty of the Op, I really do, inside my stomach is churning at the carpet burning by the cigarette. I realize it was NOT a "fire" (I used to smoke, so I know what a 'carpet burn' is) - however..it absolutely could have been deadly, and that scares the $#*& out of me. :eek:

 

Op, you're lucky that you and the cherubs weren't asked to leave the ship at the next port.

 

Ok, my rant is over. :(

[Julienatul]

Wow, what a story. Funny to look back on but not so funny while your experiencing it. You handled it beautifully. My son is only 4 but I could definitely see something like that happening when he is older. He is a bright boy but one that is easily influenced by his friends. Ive got a long time until he's 16 but it will definitely make me rethink the separate cabin idea!! I'm glad no one was seriously injured and you still had a great cruise.

[John1928]

Yes...I have a kid. My kid is now 25. He's been financially independent since 21....and has owned his own home since he was 22. And he did this without ever getting into trouble or causing me grief.

 

Maybe I have "a gem". Or maybe I'm a good mother. Or, maybe he learned how to behave by example.

 

Ya know, my parents would likely say almost the exact same... All I can say, is ignorance is bliss... ;)

[Warm Breezes]

Dear MsTabbyKats,

 

IMHO parenting is a life long learning experience. Sometimes, as parents, we make mistakes because none of us are perfect. OP's mistake in this case was allowing her children to have friends in their room and not following up and checking on them. She admitted her mistakes, took responsibility for the damage they caused, and then disciplined them accordingly for their wrong actions. IMHO that makes her a good parent. Definately much better than the parent who denies any responsibilty for herself or her kids and doesn't follow through with any discipline because she had an excuse as to why their child wasn't at fault. I know a few parents like that....those are the type of parents that deserve flaming, not the OP.

[cruiser4four]

MsTabbyKats, I would like to stand and applaud you. You are the only person to speak your mind and not sugar coat anything. I agree with you 100%!

 

 

So, I just got off Magic today. I took my 3 darling sons, 12, 14, and 16. Let me preface the story by telling a few things. My kids are no angels. They are boys. They act like boys. Nor are they hooligans. They are pretty much A/B honor students, but I am on a first name basis with the assistant principal at both the junior high and the high school. Please understand, these people actually LIKE my kids, they are really NOT horrid, the trouble is usually talking too much in class. It is NEVER them being disrespectful to adults or anything like that. So, mine are smart, very social, athletic, what I would consider "normal" teenagers.

 

We have been on 6 cruises together, 4 of which I took them by myself. We went on 3 this year...so we're all veterans and I have my rules, which I've been easing up on a little over the years, because they've done so well with the extra freedom on a cruise ship. So, this time, instead of making them come in by 1, I told them they could stay out later but they had to check in by 1 and tell me exactly where they were going to be. Still wasn't allowing them to go to anyone else's cabin because that makes me nervous.

 

So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else.

 

At 2:30 my 12 and 14 year old are shaking me awake telling me I have to get up right now because security has to talk to me about thier cabin (the 2 older boys were across the hall from me). So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award.

 

Security is in there, 4 of them, taking pictures of the damage and letting my 16 year old have it. He, thank God, is in full "yessir" "nosir" mode. Apparently, one of the new friends that came over brought beer. I found out how 16 year olds get this, the 21 year old siblings buy it fot them. So, he had 3 beers in there, which I guess the little turds shared. But the real problem started when this kid decided to have a cigarette in the cabin. He lit it in there and set off the alarm. When the alarm went off, the other kids scattered. The kid with the cigarette knocked one of the light fixtures down trying to run out and then dropped the cigarette on the carpet!

 

So, we have broken light fixture, burnt carpet, cabin smoking rules broken. Then I had to sign a form saying I would do a better job of supervising my children. It was fabulous, really. I did a better job right then and there, I had the 2 older ones strip their beds and make pallets in my room to sleep on. It was a good lesson for all of us I suppose.

 

They fixed the light fixture and actually only charged me the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in the cabin. It didn't ruin our cruise or anything. My kids were all actually better behaved than usual after that. It gave them a pretty good scare, so all in all, not so bad...and let me know they're not quite ready for more responsibility just yet. Though, my oldest son will be giving me half his paychecks till the money is paid back...so I guess he got a little more responsibility and adult fun after all. :D

 

Oh, funniest thing ever...the next night, my 12 year old and I went to dinner alone, so we're at a 2 top with an older couple seated about 4 inches away from us at their own 2 top. Naturally conversation ensues...so they find out I'm alone with my 3 teenage boys...and they ask if I heard about the poor lady who got woke up by security when her kids set off the fire alarm!! Good news travels fast!

 

 

 

'Those darn kids, they are just being normal teenagers'. This is the problem with our society today, you believe that your kids are "normal" with this kind of behavior. Newsflash lady, their behavior is not normal. I always believe in the saying "birds of a feather, flock together". So before you point a finger at the other kids, take a closer look at your own. The fact that you let your sons (one of them is 12) stay up on the ship past 1am speaks volume. You did not want your 16, 14, and 12 year old sons to enter someone else's cabin but yet you did not get up to see who was in their cabin! Your sons will never blame themselves of course they will say the other kid did it. But of course, your little angels would never lie to mommy. The 4 of you should have been escorted off the ship at the next port.

 

[bunchesofun]

Thank you OP for sharing this story. I am soon to be cruising with my 12 yo dd, my (will be) 18 yo son and his 16 yo friend. I will take this under advisement to make sure I stress the no friends in your cabin/no going into anyone's cabin rules. If indeed the flamer's child never did anything wrong, it is more likely because it was his nature rather than anything the parent did or did not do. Some kids are hard, some are easy. My son I have to keep an eye on constantly. My daughter asks me if she can make a sandwich if she's hungry. Totally different creatures. Once again OP you handled things the right way when things went wrong. You are a good, caring parent.

[pe4all]

Ya know, my parents would likely say almost the exact same... All I can say, is ignorance is bliss... ;)

Same here! DD21 recently told us of some of the "stuff" she did on 6 prior cruises with us - without us knowing. This is with curfew, adjoining cabins, etc. And she is a "good" kid! Made my keratin treatment wear right off!:eek:

[crusinpsychRN]

While I appreciate the honesty of the Op, I really do, inside my stomach is churning at the carpet burning by the cigarette. I realize it was NOT a "fire" (I used to smoke, so I know what a 'carpet burn' is) - however..it absolutely could have been deadly, and that scares the $#*& out of me. :eek:

 

Op, you're lucky that you and the cherubs weren't asked to leave the ship at the next port.

 

Ok, my rant is over. :(

 

That was my thought. I'd never let my kids have others in their cabin. Or stay up so late. OP, a lot of luck was on your side. Sorry this happened.

[cruiser4four]

Exactly! No child is perfect no matter what any parent says. There are still things that my parents don't know that I did and that I won't ever confess to and I am 50! Also, if you have never had a 16 year old in charge of younger kids, then I guess you never had a babysitter for your kids either.

 

I am very impressed bythe OP not only for how she handled the situation, but also for her honesty about her kids. Yes we would all like to think our kids are perfect but they aren't. They are going to mess up but who knows when or how. She gave them responsibility and her trust and they messed up and they paid for it. What a great way to learn a lesson.

 

As for MsTabbyCats - you are no where near realistic if you think your child has never done anything wrong. Maybe you need to add the words.... that I know of!

 

 

No child is perfect. I did a lot of stuff at that age as well, but to let your 16, 14, and 12 year old sons get free reign while you're in bed speaks volume. To let your 12 year old son do as he pleases until past 1am is ridiculous. Do you really believe they had no part to play in the alcohol drinking and the cigarette smoking? What do you think is going through the 12 year old's mind when he sees the drinking and smoking? It's just a matter of time before he wants to be cool as well. As you said, no parent is going to admit that their child has issues, and that's the problem.

[sparks1093]

For that matter, no adult is perfect, either.

[Gailerina]

 

Sometimes the parents need a wake-up call about their kids......

 

So very true! Maybe YOU need to remember that :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[cruiser4four]

So very true! Maybe YOU need to remember that :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

 

 

I think the parents whose kids go away on vacation and cause situations where security has to be called because of damages to the room are the ones who need the wake up call.

[spleenstomper]

She had the wake up call. Literally.

[Chigirlcruzin]

I'm glad to see there's a CC member that does not have perfect children. :D

[Gailerina]

I think the parents whose kids go away on vacation and cause situations where security has to be called because of damages to the room are the ones who need the wake up call.

 

Oo I 100% agree. I quoted her because she was making it sound like her kids are/were perfect.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[Maxpilot]

Bravo poster. I could not have said it better myself. After 3 kids (all grown up and married) ..I sit back and watch and wait for THEIR children to grow up. Pay back is a bitch...lol

Any mother that says their child was perfect and she is the perfect mother, to me, is deaf, dumb and blind. :eek:

 

+1 :D

 

I can't wait until my kids have their own homes and invite me over. Things I'm going to do to get pay back...:

 

- Get a clean glass every time I want a drink and leave it laying wherever I happen to be.

- Leave the lights on in every room I go into.

- Leave toothpaste stuck dried to the sink.

- Leave my cloths on the floor and wait for them to pick them up and wash them for me.

- Tell them to "chill" whenever they ask me to pick up or help out.

- Toss my dirty dishes into the sink instead of the dishwasher. Or just leave them under my bed until they start to stink.

- Leave food out on the counter instead of putting it away in the fridge.

 

Wha ha ha ha. I'm going to have fun. :eek:

[kristel595]

I'm glad to see there's a CC member that does not have perfect children. :D

 

 

Haha, soooo agree. I had my children VERY young. My girls are now 17 & 18 and many of my friends now have babies or young toddlers.

 

You don't know how many times I have heard "oh, I would NEVER let Baby A do that!!" or "If Baby A ever did that, I would____"

 

As I tell them...lets revisit this conversation in about 15 years when your child is out of diapers ;)

 

People know their children and know their limits. My 18 year old graduated from highschool early, is half way through college and has a steady job. My 17 year old can't imagine living without the social life high school provides, decided she wants to go to community college first as she is too dependant to be that far away from home and cries when she is asked to empty the dishwasher.

 

Same kids, same rules growing up & as my husband often tells me, I am toooo focused on being fair. They are just different.

 

My point...until you have the EXACT same family dynamic the OP has, don't tell her what she should have/would have/could have done.

[cruiser4four]

Oo I 100% agree. I quoted her because she was making it sound like her kids are/were perfect.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

 

 

In all fairness, MsTabbyKats never said that her kids were perfect, she just said that her son never gave her grief. Believe it or not there are children out there who stay away from trouble and who have the capabilities to avoid bad situations. I have a really big problem with children today. I'm sick and tired of seeing kids getting arrested and damaging property of others while adults sit back and say "kids will be kids". I live in a big city and every day I witness the attitude of some of these kids. They have no respect for others and when something bad happens all their parents say is "kids will be kids". Whatever happened to the good old days?

[cruiser4four]

Haha, soooo agree. I had my children VERY young. My girls are now 17 & 18 and many of my friends now have babies or young toddlers.

 

You don't know how many times I have heard "oh, I would NEVER let Baby A do that!!" or "If Baby A ever did that, I would____"

 

As I tell them...lets revisit this conversation in about 15 years when your child is out of diapers ;)

 

People know their children and know their limits. My 18 year old graduated from highschool early, is half way through college and has a steady job. My 17 year old can't imagine living without the social life high school provides, decided she wants to go to community college first as she is too dependant to be that far away from home and cries when she is asked to empty the dishwasher.

 

Same kids, same rules growing up & as my husband often tells me, I am toooo focused on being fair. They are just different.

 

My point...until you have the EXACT same family dynamic the OP has, don't tell her what she should have/would have/could have done.

 

 

Your kids are not perfect but give me a call when they invite "friends" they've known for 24 hours or less into their room, allow alcohol to be consumed, and cigarettes to be lit in their presence while on a boat with thousands of other people.

[H82seaUgo]

Your kids are not perfect but give me a call when they invite "friends" they've known for 24 hours or less into their room, allow alcohol to be consumed, and cigarettes to be lit in their presence while on a boat with thousands of other people.

 

all i keep thinking of every time i come back to this thread are those leeches that george smith met, brought back to his room, and they threw him overboard.

 

and he was an adult!

[cruiser4four]

Oh and let's not forget, all under the watchful eye of a 12 year old child.

[SnowWhiteNYC]

Thank you for sharing your story AngAndBoys even in the face of expected flaming from "holier-than-thous" (sp?)

I know that my "angel" is no angel as well and he is only 6.

 

It sounds like you all learned your lessons well.

[cruzinlisa]

To the OP- Good for you for taking responsibility and admitting that your kids aren't perfect and should not have been given that much supervision. No one wants to think their children are the problem or bad kids, which is the problem with a lot of parents today. Because they think that makes them bad parents. But I believe you instill your kids with a set of values and rules and when they reach a certain age, they either follow them or they do not. Sometimes what defines your parenting skills is not how your kids behave, but what you do when they misbehave. You can either deny it (not my angel), or admit it and put the fear of you know what into them. :eek:

[cruiser4four]

Thank you for sharing your story AngAndBoys even in the face of expected flaming from "holier-than-thous" (sp?)

I know that my "angel" is no angel as well and he is only 6.

 

It sounds like you all learned your lessons well.

 

 

If this is what you call flaming then some of you "parents" need lessons in parenting.