Just off Liberty - unruly children a real problem!

[funfamilyfun]

We just got off the Destiny. I have to say we didn't see any unruly children. What we do at school (I am a teacher)...is show the parents the video. There are videos taken all over the cruise and it would be easy to do. But...that would involve someone taking the time to go to Guest Relations and then the cruise securing finding the kids on the video. It is very time consuming. Of course...at school...we only do that for big things...like stealing...fighting. On the cruise, the kids would have to do something major for this to be effective or warranted.

[funfamilyfun]

On Royal...the curfew of 1:00. I really don't know if it was enforced, but thankfully my kids were rule followers and always came directly to the cabin. I have never walked around the ship looking for them...that wouldn't happen more than once.

[Zoey]

I have just got off the Breeze yesterday, and there were loads of kids on board. As far as I am aware, none caused any problems, I did not see any running around or pushing lift buttons, but I do agree that Carnival don't help with having rules to assist parents in controlling their kids. My 14 year old, despite having a 'contract' stayed out until 2am or later. She made lots of new friends, and would go to Circle c in the evening, which didn't end until 12.30 or 1.00am. They would then go for ice cream or pizza, and on several ocassions I was searching the ship in the early hours looking for her to make her go to bed. Why isn't there a curfew for teens? and who needs to eat pizza and ice cream in the night? If there was nothing for them to do after Circle C ends, they would go to bed! Anyone with the munchies in the middle of the night can call room service surely? I take my parenting responsibilities very seriously, but felt challenged as I wanted my DD to have some freedom, but she is willfull and tested the limitations I placed on her. I did not really want to walk the decks at 2.00am looking for her, or have to impose and enforce punishment whilst we are on holiday, then have to deal with her sulking and attitude, and just felt that it would have helped if the ship 'went to sleep' at maybe 1.00am, or only had 'adult only' bars after this time, the kids would be more co-operative about going to bed if gthere is nothing for them to do? Just a thought.

 

 

YOU are the parent............not Carnival. What is it with some parents lately that seem scared to parent their children...particularly their teens?

[amybear912]

I just felt that it would have helped if the ship 'went to sleep' at maybe 1.00am, or only had 'adult only' bars after this time, the kids would be more co-operative about going to bed if gthere is nothing for them to do? Just a thought.

 

You have got to be kidding me!!! You're a parent -FULL TIME.... Whether you are on vacation or not... If it is too challenging for you to impose rules onboard or your child is that disrespectful of the rules you set; perhaps the child is not ready to travel beyond your doorstep...

[Gailerina]

What is the point of a contract with your kid if there are no clearly laid-out consequences for disobeying? Kids aren't stupid. Your daughter clearly was aware that you did not wish to "deal with her sulking and attitude", so she knew she wouldn't be punished. I can say with good certainty that my parents didn't consider whether or not we were on vacation when it came to punishments. And, if we pouted.....well, they were not swayed by tears or a dropped lip either. Additionally, if your daughter wouldn't/didn't obey the terms of the 'contract' she had with you, what makes you think that she would obey a curfew imposed by Carnival? It is not the cruise lines job to assist parents with parenting.

 

The answer! Kids know what to do to get their way. Your daughter played you quite well. Vacation or not....she has to not get her way. The 1st time you searched for her should have been the last. Could part of it be you were too busy doing your own thing to want to deal with keeping her out of circle c??

 

Parents need to parent. I have a lot of friends who are teachers and do not envy them at all! Too often patents want the teachers to be the parents.

 

I fear the world in 20 years with some of the kids being raised.

 

 

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[Gailerina]

You have got to be kidding me!!! You're a parent -FULL TIME.... Whether you are on vacation or not... If it is too challenging for you to impose rules onboard or your child is that disrespectful of the rules you set; perhaps the child is not ready to travel beyond your doorstep...

 

Like!!!

 

 

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[Silent Penguin]

I'm only barely old enough to remember how if a kid got in trouble at school, he got two spankings, one from the principal or his teacher and then another one from his parents when he got home. The last teacher-adminstered hand swatting I saw was in 5th grade. Only a couple years later, our middle school gym teacher was fired (or involuntarily transfered, who knows for sure) after laying hands on a boy who, in our tweenage opinion, deserved it. After all, he spit and hit first. I digress.

 

That being said, relevant or not, I give any sane, sober, nonviolent, well-meaning adult on the same cruise as me permission to give my kids a "talking to" if one should deserve it. As I found out, even my little "angels" can go awry. The following did not happen on one of our cruises, but it could have.

 

Let me start by saying my son hold doors for others, wait their turn in lines and exiting and entering an elevator, use "walking feet" and "inside voices", and are generally known for their good manners. But, even "good" boys can embarass the heck out of their mother while on vacation. A couple years ago, while we were at the beach, the boys (13 and 15) and I were sitting on the front porch of our hotel (it's really old and has a huge porch) playing cards. When we were finished playing but still sitting at the table, a friend came over to talk to me, so I told my sons they could go up to our rooms without me.

 

After a few minutes of talking to my friend, I entered the lobby and was passing by the front desk where an irate guest was complaining to the desk clerk about kids pushing all the elevator buttons. I thought to myself, that is so rude! My kids would never do that! What brats!

 

Since our condo is on only 2 floors up, and there was obviously an issue with the elevator and naughty kids, I took the steps. I was back in our rooms less than a minute later. When I entered our condo, the boys were in the middle of telling my husband this "hilarious" story about pushing all the buttons in the elevator! Yes, I was mortified. Quick, I thought, this can be fixed. Since I had only passed the irate woman a minute before, I figured she could still be in the lobby. So, I hustled the boys down the steps to the ground floor. We had a little "talk" on the way down.

 

The complaining lady was not at the front desk anymore. Darn, I thought. I was hoping we would catch her and she would still be angry enough let them have it. Then, I saw her standing in the sitting area with some luggage. We approached her, and I explained to her that the boys with me were the boys who pushed all the buttons on the elevator. Then I literally stepped back and let them the music. I was really hoping she would let them have it, and she did. (She must have been a school teacher.) They knew full well that their mischief not only inconvenienced her but also her aged mother. I could see on their faces how chagrined they were once they realized that that their prank had caused others to suffer. She did praise them for apologizing and not trying to make excuses.

 

So, how would I feel if the lady had caught them in the act on the elevator and had given them a piece of her mind and that was story the boys were telling my husband when I walked in? Would I have wanted to go find her and tell her she has no business correcting my children? No way! Of course, if she was physically or verbally inappropriate, that would be another story.

[Gailerina]

I applaud you penguin! More parents need to be like you!

 

 

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[San_Antonio_Ex]

YOU are the parent............not Carnival. What is it with some parents lately that seem scared to parent their children...particularly their teens?

 

Zoey - I'm quoting this just as an example, not to specifically point you out - yours was one of the nicer ones. I just think a bunch of people are being a little harsh on this parent. She didn't say that she didn't parent her child, just that she didn't want to have do so on vacation. In fact, she said she takes her parenting very seriously. I have no reason to disbelieve her. Her point was not that Carnival should parent her kids, but that a curfew would make it easier for her to parent. I know my small town has a curfew for kids under 16, why not a cruise ship?

[Gailerina]

I live near Baltimore City and I believe during the summer there is a curfew downtown BUT it us new after so many youths attacking in groups :)

 

 

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[Gailerina]

That sounded wrong :( when I saw attack I mean more harass but done have stolen things.

 

 

 

 

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[AngAndBoys]

Zoey - I'm quoting this just as an example, not to specifically point you out - yours was one of the nicer ones. I just think a bunch of people are being a little harsh on this parent. She didn't say that she didn't parent her child, just that she didn't want to have do so on vacation. In fact, she said she takes her parenting very seriously. I have no reason to disbelieve her. Her point was not that Carnival should parent her kids, but that a curfew would make it easier for her to parent. I know my small town has a curfew for kids under 16, why not a cruise ship?

 

Agree with this. This is the harshest group about parenting! I know exactly what Habbib is saying. THere is a midnight curfew for kids in my town and it is FABULOUS! Nothing to argue about. It's the law. I don't love spending our vacation/fun/family bonding time having to duke it out with my kids over rules and violations thereof. Do I? Of course, but I don't go looking for it, and I don't love it. And it does seem kind of Godawful to have to ground your kids on vacation. I think that is all she's saying...not that she's not willing to parent her kids, but that it sorta sucks the fun out of family vacation to have to spend it wrestling with the kids over everything.

 

I do the hard work of parenting when I have to...but I honestly hate to have to punish my kids. Especially when I'm busy trying to make them some happy childhood memories. I get what she's saying. And I seriously don't believe it's about laziness at all. It's about keeping the peace and everyone in the family getting to have a good time...including the little monsters who feel like they're "missing something" because ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE OUT.

[H82seaUgo]

I'm only barely old enough to remember how if a kid got in trouble at school, he got two spankings, one from the principal or his teacher and then another one from his parents when he got home. The last teacher-adminstered hand swatting I saw was in 5th grade. Only a couple years later, our middle school gym teacher was fired (or involuntarily transfered, who knows for sure) after laying hands on a boy who, in our tweenage opinion, deserved it. After all, he spit and hit first. I digress.

 

That being said, relevant or not, I give any sane, sober, nonviolent, well-meaning adult on the same cruise as me permission to give my kids a "talking to" if one should deserve it. As I found out, even my little "angels" can go awry. The following did not happen on one of our cruises, but it could have.

 

Let me start by saying my son hold doors for others, wait their turn in lines and exiting and entering an elevator, use "walking feet" and "inside voices", and are generally known for their good manners. But, even "good" boys can embarass the heck out of their mother while on vacation. A couple years ago, while we were at the beach, the boys (13 and 15) and I were sitting on the front porch of our hotel (it's really old and has a huge porch) playing cards. When we were finished playing but still sitting at the table, a friend came over to talk to me, so I told my sons they could go up to our rooms without me.

 

After a few minutes of talking to my friend, I entered the lobby and was passing by the front desk where an irate guest was complaining to the desk clerk about kids pushing all the elevator buttons. I thought to myself, that is so rude! My kids would never do that! What brats!

 

Since our condo is on only 2 floors up, and there was obviously an issue with the elevator and naughty kids, I took the steps. I was back in our rooms less than a minute later. When I entered our condo, the boys were in the middle of telling my husband this "hilarious" story about pushing all the buttons in the elevator! Yes, I was mortified. Quick, I thought, this can be fixed. Since I had only passed the irate woman a minute before, I figured she could still be in the lobby. So, I hustled the boys down the steps to the ground floor. We had a little "talk" on the way down.

 

The complaining lady was not at the front desk anymore. Darn, I thought. I was hoping we would catch her and she would still be angry enough let them have it. Then, I saw her standing in the sitting area with some luggage. We approached her, and I explained to her that the boys with me were the boys who pushed all the buttons on the elevator. Then I literally stepped back and let them the music. I was really hoping she would let them have it, and she did. (She must have been a school teacher.) They knew full well that their mischief not only inconvenienced her but also her aged mother. I could see on their faces how chagrined they were once they realized that that their prank had caused others to suffer. She did praise them for apologizing and not trying to make excuses.

 

So, how would I feel if the lady had caught them in the act on the elevator and had given them a piece of her mind and that was story the boys were telling my husband when I walked in? Would I have wanted to go find her and tell her she has no business correcting my children? No way! Of course, if she was physically or verbally inappropriate, that would be another story.

 

great story.

 

just don't know how you know how many sane, sober, nonviolent, well-meaning adults are on board and which ones they are.

 

your story reminds me of an incident.

 

i was on a cruise, entered the elevator on the main deck, and all the buttons had been pushed. a kid about 6 or 7 got on at the upper deck.

 

next stop, some lady in her 50's gets on, sees the lights, turns to the kids, and begins to berate him verbally for what he had done.

 

she was his judge and jury..

[halos]

Agree with this. This is the harshest group about parenting! I know exactly what Habbib is saying. THere is a midnight curfew for kids in my town and it is FABULOUS! Nothing to argue about. It's the law. I don't love spending our vacation/fun/family bonding time having to duke it out with my kids over rules and violations thereof. Do I? Of course, but I don't go looking for it, and I don't love it. And it does seem kind of Godawful to have to ground your kids on vacation. I think that is all she's saying...not that she's not willing to parent her kids, but that it sorta sucks the fun out of family vacation to have to spend it wrestling with the kids over everything.

 

I do the hard work of parenting when I have to...but I honestly hate to have to punish my kids. Especially when I'm busy trying to make them some happy childhood memories. I get what she's saying. And I seriously don't believe it's about laziness at all. It's about keeping the peace and everyone in the family getting to have a good time...including the little monsters who feel like they're "missing something" because ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE OUT.

 

I very much disagree. For me, there is no vacation from parenting. I have never required anyone to have a curfew. I set my own for my kids.

For me, giving my kids a curfew and them NOT following t would lead to punishment...at home, on a cruise ship or ANYWHERE.

And this is why I never had the problem of disobedience in the first place. My girls knew (from only one or two experiences) that I (and their father) meant business...one or two punishments is all it takes for them to get that....On the other hand, one or two "Oh I don't want to punish them while on vacation" s also let's them learn quickly that they will be able to get off scott free when they aren't home.

NOT the message I would ever want to send.

Our rules applied universally...not just within our home.

Yes, I HATED punishing my kids and they knew I hated it...but they also knew that I would do it no matter how much I hated it.

 

Now they are grown and my oldest is starting a family. I cannot WAIT to witness them have to do this now..:p

NOW is the time I get to be the good guy and do all the spoiling. I paid my dues of being the 'bad cop'...20 years total. It was exhausting and thank God that's over! It TOTALLY sucks....but you have to do it. That's part of the job. Nobody said it was going to be easy and if anyone thinks it should be easy, they are not doing it properly.

[RWolver672]

During the summer months Carnival could consider an advisory at muster or on the jumbo tv or even an additional handout reminding parents to supervise their children. For some it would make no difference of course.

 

Maybe they should convert an area to a timeout room from which parents would have to retrieve their little darlings.

 

I like those ideas but may I suggest that the PARENTS have to spend the time in the timeout room along with their unruly kids.

[H82seaUgo]

During the summer months Carnival could consider an advisory at muster or on the jumbo tv or even an additional handout reminding parents to supervise their children. For some it would make no difference of course.

 

Maybe they should convert an area to a timeout room from which parents would have to retrieve their little darlings.

 

it's bad enough that some have to turn to a cruise line to learn

How to dress.

 

now they are source for parental guidance?

 

oh brother.

[mermaid72]

it's bad enough that some have to turn to a cruise line to learn

How to dress.

 

now they are source for parental guidance?

 

oh brother.

If people have no concept of how to dress or behave in public because they were raised by wolves, someone needs to remind them of the basic rules.

If you or any one else, can't understand these little niceties, then who should teach them?

 

Obviously some parents here are desperately in need of Miss Manners!

[luddite]

If people have no concept of how to dress or behave in public because they were raised by wolves, someone needs to remind them of the basic rules.

If you or any one else, can't understand these little niceties, then who should teach them?

 

Obviously some parents here are desperately in need of Miss Manners!

 

Oh now! There you go. Bein' reasonable. Life is too much burden for some that should've thought twice before procreating. Adding parenthood to their life has obviously overwhelmed some of them.

[scperk]

I very much disagree. For me, there is no vacation from parenting. I have never required anyone to have a curfew. I set my own for my kids.

For me, giving my kids a curfew and them NOT following t would lead to punishment...at home, on a cruise ship or ANYWHERE.

And this is why I never had the problem of disobedience in the first place. My girls knew (from only one or two experiences) that I (and their father) meant business...one or two punishments is all it takes for them to get that....On the other hand, one or two "Oh I don't want to punish them while on vacation" s also let's them learn quickly that they will be able to get off scott free when they aren't home.

NOT the message I would ever want to send.

Our rules applied universally...not just within our home.

Yes, I HATED punishing my kids and they knew I hated it...but they also knew that I would do it no matter how much I hated it.

 

Now they are grown and my oldest is starting a family. I cannot WAIT to witness them have to do this now..:p

NOW is the time I get to be the good guy and do all the spoiling. I paid my dues of being the 'bad cop'...20 years total. It was exhausting and thank God that's over! It TOTALLY sucks....but you have to do it. That's part of the job. Nobody said it was going to be easy and if anyone thinks it should be easy, they are not doing it properly.

Very good point & post...I laugh at my 32 yr old son trying to disipline his 5 yr old...He's just a "mini me" of my son and trying the same things my son did when he was that age..Dennis

[scperk]

I very much disagree. For me, there is no vacation from parenting. I have never required anyone to have a curfew. I set my own for my kids.

For me, giving my kids a curfew and them NOT following t would lead to punishment...at home, on a cruise ship or ANYWHERE.

And this is why I never had the problem of disobedience in the first place. My girls knew (from only one or two experiences) that I (and their father) meant business...one or two punishments is all it takes for them to get that....On the other hand, one or two "Oh I don't want to punish them while on vacation" s also let's them learn quickly that they will be able to get off scott free when they aren't home.

NOT the message I would ever want to send.

Our rules applied universally...not just within our home.

Yes, I HATED punishing my kids and they knew I hated it...but they also knew that I would do it no matter how much I hated it.

 

Now they are grown and my oldest is starting a family. I cannot WAIT to witness them have to do this now..:p

NOW is the time I get to be the good guy and do all the spoiling. I paid my dues of being the 'bad cop'...20 years total. It was exhausting and thank God that's over! It TOTALLY sucks....but you have to do it. That's part of the job. Nobody said it was going to be easy and if anyone thinks it should be easy, they are not doing it properly.

Very good point & post...I laugh at my 32 yr old son trying to disipline his 5 yr old son...He just a "mini me" of my son and trying the same things my son did when he was that age.....Dennis

[lillian marie]

I'm from a city and maybe that's why I'd never let my kids run the ship unattended. What has always amazed me is that folks seem to think a ship is so safe. It is like any other city environment-full of strangers-the good, the bad and possibly the very bad. Kids have gotten molested on cruise ships, folks have gone overboard and some have disappeered. When our adult kids were older teens they went alone together to the pool or lido and had a walki-talki with them so we always had some form of contact. They also had manners from the private school they attended and home. Yes sir, no maam was normal responses to adults and expected. I also still have school age kids and we don't let them run unattended either on ships. At home it is a different situation and they have more freedom. A ship is just like an urban center, you have no idea if the smiling person at the next table is a pediophile. Mind your children if for no other reason, their safety.

[higgib]

Agree with this. This is the harshest group about parenting! I know exactly what Habbib is saying. THere is a midnight curfew for kids in my town and it is FABULOUS! Nothing to argue about. It's the law. I don't love spending our vacation/fun/family bonding time having to duke it out with my kids over rules and violations thereof. Do I? Of course, but I don't go looking for it, and I don't love it. And it does seem kind of Godawful to have to ground your kids on vacation. I think that is all she's saying...not that she's not willing to parent her kids, but that it sorta sucks the fun out of family vacation to have to spend it wrestling with the kids over everything.

 

I do the hard work of parenting when I have to...but I honestly hate to have to punish my kids. Especially when I'm busy trying to make them some happy childhood memories. I get what she's saying. And I seriously don't believe it's about laziness at all. It's about keeping the peace and everyone in the family getting to have a good time...including the little monsters who feel like they're "missing something" because ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE OUT.

 

Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou!!! This is it exactly.

 

I have received my first CC flaming - I now feel truly part of the CC community!

 

Angandboys, I know from reading your posts before we left on our 1st cruise that you had some issues with your kids. I even read your post to my DDs 17 and 14 as an example as to why we were not going to allow any 'cabin visiting'. The girls had the cabin next door to ours and were instructed to be in by 15 mins after their club activities ended. They were asked to phone our cabin to let us know they were in. For the most part the 17 year old did so, but my dd 14 will push and challenge any rule, despite repeated warnings and consequences. How I envy those parents who have compliant kids who will do as they are told!!!

 

Neither myself, or my DH drink, smoke or gamble, so no, we were not in the bars or casino without a care as to where our kids were, we were in our cabin by 12.30pm, after the comedy club or piano bar closed. If I had not had a call from both girls by 1.00am, I would go out on a search of the ship - and it is a very big ship!

 

We have travelled extensively with our girls, visited Europe, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong among other places, We want to discover the world with them and learn with them about all the different cultures, people, experiences and landmarks in the world, but this was our 1st cruise. Sure I have learnt some lessons along the way. I thought by using the 'contract' it would help us to ensure our kids did as they were told, and we did 'ground' the 14 year old for 24 hours. This was the day we visited Venice. There were 4 other cruise ships in port that day, and the temperature was 32 degrees. This was the port I was most looking forward to. It was MISERABLE. Hot, crowded, with a teen who refused to walk with us, sulked and demanded McDonalds every 5 minutes. (and no, we don't travel so that she can eat the same food she can get in our local high street!)

 

I hope that maybe DH and I can return there one dayto spend a weekend without the kids (We are from London), as it is a truly beautiful place that deserved better than our DD and the 'family from hell' that day!

 

Believe me, it is true that some kids are easier to parent than others, just be grateful if you have the easy ones, and don't judge us poor folk struggling with the difficult ones!

[armywifefisher]

Sorry about your mother but an awesome way to spread her ashes.

 

About the kids I am another one that will say you will have this problem no matter where you go, mall, wal-mart, grocery store, park, amusment parks, and the list goes on. We have even had a problem with our bus stop in the mornings, high schoolers standing in the middle of the road and will not budge even if cars are comeing both ways. They just look at you like your stupid, if you honk the horn at them. It just seems more of a problem cause for the number of people for that area is more than you would encouter at other places. I know when I go to the stores on post on payday all I can say is OMG it is a mad house with the kids, and try to advoid it at all cost, not because I do not like kids but because it slowes me down and takes longer to get what i need. Heck go to wal-mart a couple days or a week before school starts or to the mall on tax free weekend and you will see it is just as bad as being on a cruise ship

[peptobysmol]

sorry about your mother, but kids running? i think that's what kids do. i did it, and my kids still do it.

 

i too wish i could still do it, but gravity got in the way.

 

Gravity or entropy? I think the op was stating that the kids were running AMOK and that they were reckless and not paying attention and ignoring crew. Quite similarly, how you only pay attention to only certain parts of posts.

[gusandgidgetsmom]

First off to the OP. Praying for the comfort that following your loved ones wishes will give you.

As for the parenting issues I see on this board. WOW. First I want to say I love children--it shows by the things I have chosen to do in my life. I am a GAL/ CASA, coach young children in gymnastics and cheer as well as own the gym and have been a Sunday school teacher for many years.

Will I speak to your child if they are misbehaving and are at risk of hurting themselves or others--Yes I will. Better now than when I have to see them in court for the bad choices their parents have instilled in them. Yes I am trained in the ways to speak with a disruptive child, but a lot of that is just common sense and learning what is right and wrong from my parents many years ago.

Telling a child to say inappropriate things to adults or allowing blatant bad manners to happen shows the parenting that I see most often in court. Yes I think that children can be kids just not to the detriment of others. The same good parenting skills that you would use on land should be used on sea. As for those adults that want to use physical force to stop these children--please think first.

I would be very thankful to an adult that stopped my child from hurting themself or making a nuisiance out of themselves in the proper way.

I have sailed on several different cruise lines and do not find Carnival the exception. They all have unruly chidlren and adults at sometime. Believe me parenting knows no socio-economic bounds. I see children of doctors, lawyers, CEO's as well as those on welfare and just getting by in court. Good parenting does not take a degree--just some common sense and a good moral background.