Making The Transition - A Guy's Perspective

[Winchester Ranger]

I literally just returned from a cruise with my partner of 16 years, and the cruise (as fantastic as it was) proved that we have grown apart as a couple and things have likely run their course for us. See ? cruising IS useful ;)

 

It is a wonderful thing to walk through a busy cocktail bar and see heads turn to watch your wife because she is so pretty, but then you realize that dining at breakfast and dinner was the only time the two of us actually spent together outside the cabin and you suddenly wake up to the fact that you are pretty much cruising on your own anyway, so why let the notion concern you? Easier said than done I'm afraid, you see I would dearly miss having a dining partner, I couldn't face dining alone and I couldn't face dining with a larger group of complete strangers. I have seen the Poseidon Adventure and I always felt terrible for Mr. Rosen (Red Buttons) sat at the dreaded large round table with happy couples trying to figure out exactly why you are alone - if you recall the dining room scene in the movie that is.

 

My friends of course are all married, and finding a male friend who would want to cruise is difficult at best, impossible at worst - for me cruising requires a female companion, a purely platonic companion yes, but definitely of the female persuasion. Perhaps there's a business opportunity here, "rent a cruise companion", but then renting female companions takes on something of an awkward connotation, and how on earth would you present your guest to the concierge - "Hi I'm Mike, and this is Sophie, otherwise known as the Emperor's Package with optional 1 night pre-cruise sleepover".

 

Ultimately I don't know if I have the courage to cruise alone and I admire those who do immensely and without reservation. I recall the fifty something gentleman dining alone in Ocean Blue on NCL Getaway just 4 short weeks ago. He announced in very confident tones that we, his fellow diners, were not to feel sorry for him as he had been due to cruise with his niece but she had fallen and broken her ankle the week before the cruise, so he decided that he would travel anyway. As much as I admired him, I couldn't help but note that he felt it necessary to point out that he hadn't planned on this being a solo cruise, as if to say "seriously, as if anyone would ?". So we sat there munching on our Dover Sole and feeling sorry for him, while secretly hoping that "singleness" was not a communicable disease. Well I have news for the CDC - apparently it is.

 

In my rambling daydreams I imagine a charming female companion who would be quite happy to share a cabin with a male stranger while somehow avoiding the inevitable awkwardness of sharing one bathroom and the delights of wondering if "he" is really an axe murderer !! Then I feel embarrassed that I am subconsciously describing some type of "Stepford Wife" designed exclusively for cruising, I can see the salesman now - "yes sir, she comes complete with a full salt corrosion protection package for those beach excursions and a guaranteed 7 day battery life". Sadly, both my warped sense of humor and technology plainly fail me at this moment. Perhaps Jennifer Anniston really would be willing to share an NCL Haven Suite with me for a 7 day caribbean cruise, maybe she would even pay her half - and maybe the captain would let me take a turn at docking the ship while wearing a blindfold.

 

So to those of you solos out there who have no hesitation when clicking on "1" for number of passengers on the drop-down menu, I salute you. I know that there are the "singles meet and greet" events, but honestly that feels like hoping you find a parachute AFTER jumping out of the plane, and I just got through reading some poor guy's story about how his fiancee dumped him immediately pre-cruise so he went anyway, only to discover that he was the only solo on the entire ship and barely left his cabin, only to be assigned a "male dining guest" when he did. Truly a nightmare scenario.

 

So it is that my cruising days are likely on a lengthy, possibly permanent break. But hey, Ms. Anniston, if you are reading this and the offer of a free Unlimited Beverage Package would make a difference, call me.......

Edited June 2, 2014 by Winchester Ranger

[Cruisercl]

Hi Winchester Ranger,

 

I am sorry for your predicament but I think you are confusing 'singles' cruising with 'solo' cruising. There are many cruisers who cruise solo not because we do not have 'a partner' or are lonely; very often they are married and their spouse could not cruise or doesn't like to cruise. Just like I would not like to go on a hunting vacation. We cruise solo for many reasons; usually not wanting to make a 'connection'.

 

Most people that cruise solo are very comfortable being by themselves and who they are; most love to meet other people solo or couples.

 

I have a friend just like you who was not comfortable being a solo person; I believe he is socially uncomfortable being a single/solo. He currently went back to his abusive ex-wife. Of course this is the extreme; and this is just an example. No mal-intent here.

 

Solo cruising is what you make of it. To me, the fact the I am on a cruise is fabulous and you meet great people!!! :D

 

Happy and safe cruising all!!!! :)

[cdngrl]

Winchester ranger your writing is wonderful! you made me laugh.

 

I'd cruise with you platonically. but if you're looking for someone like ms aniston, I'm not the one for you. I'm more like her frumpy, middle age, overweight mother. :p

 

I love to travel, I love to cruise and being on my own makes it especially easy! I only worry about one suitcase, one passport, one person's wishes.

 

I hope you get to where you are comfortable going on your own. if not, I hope Jennifer takes you up on your offer. :)

[SoCal Cruiser78]

Winchester Ranger,

 

As a male who once took a cruise by myself, I thought I would chime in here. I wasn't in a relationship at the time, and decided that I wasn't going to wait to be in one to go on a cruise, as I enjoy being on the water.

 

I my case, it turned out fine. I didn't take the cruise to meet anyone, so wasn't disappointed when I didn't. The Maitre d' assigned me to a table with several other singles about my age, as well as two couples, so nobody felt like a third wheel.

 

You may know this already, but if you do decide to try a solo cruise at some point, my understanding is that shorter (3-5 day) cruises tend to draw more singles if that is what you are looking for. And there are some cruises specifically targeted at singles, I have heard. Just check here on CC from those who have done them to be sure the age demographic is what you are interested in (ie my guess is Carnival will skew younger than Princess, for example).

 

While I do live in SoCal, I don't know Jennifer Aniston, so can't help you there ;).

 

Best of luck to you!

Edited June 3, 2014 by Ryndam2002

[runner2013]

I am thinking of taking my first solo cruise Jan 2015. I don't really have any problem entertaining myself or finding things to do. I'm a bit of an introvert thought, so while it may be a bit scary at times getting 'out there' I just tell myself I enjoy trying new things and there's no harm in asking questions. :D

As far as the dining goes, it you're afraid of feeling too uncomfortable you may want to try a shorter 3-5 day cruise and utilize the buffets for dinner instead of the dining rooms. They are much more casual and you can staggar your eating times to accomodate your schedule. If/when I go in January I already know I won't be eating in the dining room any night. Maybe breakfast and/or lunch, but dinner is open to whatever grabs me when my tummy rumbles.

Don't let your fear of embarrassment or looks from strangers you won't ever see again stop you from doing something if you enjoy it. Life is too short ..

Best of luck.

[MaritimeR&R]

Winchester, it is my hope for you that, given time, you will come to enjoy cruising as a solo.

As an active female who has cruised as a solo for many years, I can attest to the fact that I am not in least bit uncomfortable with clicking on "1" when selecting the number of passengers traveling in a stateroom. I have met many lovely (and a few not so lovely) people while on board and I have had the opportunity to do what I choose to do without having to consult with someone else.

p.s. My name is "Sophie," so your Emperor package comment made me laugh!

[GUEST080219]

I think this board does give a wrong impression of reality. Most people that cruise solo without wasting a second thinking about it will probably not go to a cruise community and look for the special interest solo cruising board for something they believe is perfectly normal.

 

For all those "horror stories" about mean and even hostile fellow cruisers I always wonder which cruise line and ship that might have been. On CC alone there are dozens of cruise line boards and I am sure there is a fair amount of cruise lines where cruising solo is really horrible. I have done it on two of the more common lines (RCI and NCL) and when you go to the MDR for dinner not the hostess when you tell her you want a table for yourself, not the staff that escorts you to the table and not the waitstaff who will clear the not needed silverware and glasses will have a second look. It is perfectly normal. And who under 35 or even 40 has not seen friends or family members going backpacking on their own through Asia or doing any sort of vacation on their own. It is the year 2014.

 

I can absolutely understand if people do not want to go on a vacation by themselves and there is nothing wrong with that. Why risk the money and valuable days off from work for something where there is a high risk you won't enjoy when not finding nice travel mates on board.

What I hardly understand are those people that decide to go on a cruise alone but then desperately looking for a group to stick with the whole time. One of the big advantages to not go with people I know from home is that I have the freedom to decide for myself and don't have to do anything I like second best just because of group dynamics or wrong understood courtesy. If I don't like it or do not feel comfortable I will just get up and leave. Hard to do when cruising with friends, family members or coworkers without acting rude. That is one of the reasons why I don't join those solo meetings or groups any more. No desire to spend my vacation with oh come with us, lets do this all together it will be fun and endless discussing.

[jp2001]

Some other websites (which we are not allowed to name here) have a board to find a cruise Partner. I don't think you will find Jennifer Aniston there but I have found 2 female roomates in the past (I have a boyfriend but if I was single I would not rule out sharing a room with a man).

 

For me it was more a way to avoid the single supplement but some are like you and want to at least have dinner with someone every day.

[Winchester Ranger]

Thanks all for the words of encouragement, and no, Jenn still hasn't called me but at least Sophie showed up ;)

 

Maybe I'll check out those "find a cruise partner" websites, I didn't know that such things existed but it sounds like a great idea.

 

Ultimately whether you cruise with Jenn, Sophie, or solo - I hope you all have the best time out there :D

[tncap]

I am sorry for your predicament but I think you are confusing 'singles' cruising with 'solo' cruising. There are many cruisers who cruise solo not because we do not have 'a partner' or are lonely; very often they are married and their spouse could not cruise or doesn't like to cruise. Just like I would not like to go on a hunting vacation. We cruise solo for many reasons; usually not wanting to make a 'connection'.

 

Well said. I get quite a bit more paid-time off than my partner which is why I go on 1 or 2 solo cruises a year.

[wichitastatecruiser]

Thanks all for the words of encouragement, and no, Jenn still hasn't called me but at least Sophie showed up ;)

 

Maybe I'll check out those "find a cruise partner" websites, I didn't know that such things existed but it sounds like a great idea.

 

Ultimately whether you cruise with Jenn, Sophie, or solo - I hope you all have the best time out there :D

 

You might also want to check out the "hosted" singles cruises. I've done two of those and am booked for a 3rd. Was going to do Hawaii solo but then NCL put out a REALLY good deal, I have my mom as a "place holder" but I hope to have a younger more attractive sailing partner before final payment (nothing against my mom), so right now NCL Escape is my only future truly solo booking and that still has the possibility of changing...

[wishIweretravelling]

I am reminded of a particularly fun dinner on a cruise once, in which there were three pair of us put together at a table. I was traveling with a female friend (I am also female) who I'd met on another cruise when I was sailing solo. The other two pair were male/female. We all started dinner with everyone assuming everyone else was a couple. Turned out we were all sharing cabins with "just friends." There definitely are people out here who will engage in platonic pairings.

 

And, yes, all the women looked like Jennifer Aniston. And the men like George Clooney.

[Bluewater1!]

after reading Winchester Ranger's blog, (besides laughing out loud), I'm starting to feel "normal" about solo cruising. Thank you for all your encouragements. My favorite, "Life's Too Short"....Keep them coming.... (PLEASE !!!);)

btw, Winchester, you're going to do fine, keep cracking those jokes and keep up the sense of humor....you might just end up with a jennifer !

[zoncom]

W, Both"Hosted singles cruises" and the other guys are really successful in their mission. But the find a Cruise Mates one is a stretch for opposite sex matches. Most only want to cruise with their own sex. I would try the Hosted one which does monthly cruises. Let them supply a same sex cabinmate . Great fun and you will save cash over the almost double rate you will pay to cruise alone in a cabin.