Planning Fist Solo - already making excuses

[Khaos WolfKat]

I'm sure it's not patronizing, but sincere. For some people, being alone for an extended period (days) and traveling alone is truly frightening on a basic level (the base desire for security and familiarity, etc). To them, it really has been an amazing feat, and you have been brave, even though to you, who didn't conquer any fears, it might not seem brave. It's sort of the same way someone who is afraid of the water has accomplished something brave and amazing simply by walking into the lake up to his waist, but to someone who's not afraid of the water, it's nothing special and a trivial part of one's afternoon on the beach.

 

This is a good point, and one I hadn't really thought of (Shame on me!). Even though I am non-neurotypical, and have to work VERY hard just to be "normal" in some areas, it is still all too easy to forget that what is a "no brainer" for me may be a HUGE deal for someone else. I certainly don't like it when someone trivialises my major hurdles, and I would prefer to never do the same to anyone else.

 

So, thank you for the reminder!! Next time someone tells me how "brave" I am for doing something easy for me, instead of brushing it off as unimportant, perhaps I will remember to say, "Luckily for me, that's something which comes easily to me, unlike <insert challenging thing for me that's "normal" to that person/most people>".

 

[ChiGal1962]

I did my first cruise/first solo cruise last week, all in one.

 

I had a situation where I freaked out a very small amount not long after I got access to my cabin. I'd just hit some dense crowds at the buffet, I was already convincing myself I was slightly seasick, and I knew I had seven days ahead of me.

 

So I took half a xanax, another bonine, and some ginger pills. I went back out of the room to the solo lounge and got some refreshments. Not long after, the rest of my luggage showed up, and that was pretty much the end of any troubles I had. :)

 

Glad you got through your momentary panic and had a great time! Ready to book another one? :)

[perditax]

Glad you got through your momentary panic and had a great time! Ready to book another one? :)

 

 

Yes, the additive aspect is real. >.>

[katrina915]

You know yourself best, but you might want to prepare yourself for the questions that you will get if not sitting with other solos. Not a big deal, but the questions will come, usually at set dining table: you really came yourself? You couldn't get anyone to come with you?, etc. Not a big deal, but it may trip you up a little bit if you don't have something prepared and then steer the conversation elsewhere. If you used to travel with someone previously and no longer have them (death/divorce), be prepared for the emotions that will come up. Even if you don't talk about it. Manageable, but you may feel lonelier at times since you will be surrounded by couples and families.

 

Nothing to keep from going on solo cruises, but may create anxiety/depression if you haven't thought of what you are going to do to get through it. For example, I avoid the lunch buffet on the first day and eat after I get settled and in a quieter spot. I bring plenty of reading material so that I can read quietly or join activities as I want. If I don't care to talk to others that day at dinner, I go to the buffet or order room service.

 

At this point, I go on group excursions either through ship or private if available. I am in a group so I can talk to others if I want and I am not wasting time trying to figure out what to do.

 

Good luck!

[Mo Jito]

I did my first solo cruise last October (seven nights, Caribbean). I discovered that, for me, cruising is the absolute perfect vacation when I travel solo. I spent some relaxing time on my own (I read six books!) but found that people who enjoy the same activities you do are very welcoming. I joined a trivia team through the CC roll call. On the first night I couldn't find my team, but as I was going from table to table looking for them, two wonderful couples invited me to join their table. We had the best time, and I ended up hanging out with them on many evenings. I did eventually find my "official" trivia team, so had that group to socialize with as well.

 

I also participated in every karaoke session available, and found that my fellow singers - as well as the entertainment staff - were very friendly and welcoming. I sometimes sat at a table by myself and sometimes joined others.

 

I've also found that on excursions you end up chatting with whomever is near you on the bus/boat/horse/whatever. Everyone is there to have fun, and nobody seemed to find it odd that I was on my own. I met several other solo travelers, as well as people whose spouse/friend stayed on board while they did the bus/boat/horse/whatever tour because they simply had different interests.

 

I will admit that I ate most meals on my own - generally buffet, pizza or other quick food. I had anytime dining and just didn't feel like introducing myself to a new table of passengers every night. Plus, dinner in the main dining room can take soooo long sometimes and I didn't want to miss any trivia or karaoke!

 

I am doing my next solo cruise in December, and this time I am booking traditional dining. I will take other people's advice and ask for a new table assignment if I don't think my table mates are a good fit.

 

Bottom line, if anyone thinks that cruising alone is sad or pathetic, I would say, "yes, poor me, it is so hard having more free time and disposable income than most of my friends and family do!"

[Khaos WolfKat]

"Couldn't you find anyone to go with you?"

 

"Yeah, but none of them wanted to get their own stateroom or be on their own to do stuff."

 

LOL

[Truluv]

Finishing up my first solo with RCL. It's been great to catch up on my reading and sleep. I will definitely do it again - in fact, I booked a mini-suite when on-board for a far-future birthday.

 

Admittedly, it was also a little lonely. I didn't meet any other solos during the week. It helped when I felt lonely to get on the internet and exchange emails with family members. I went out of my way to talk to people and they were usually friendly. I did run into some bumps in the road -- like having to sit by myself in the dining room because there were no shared tables, having some staff take "pity" on me and be annoyingly attentive, and having photographers and drink waiters skip over me. Having cruised often in the past with my family, I sometimes felt overlooked on this cruise. (On the other hand, it could have been because my sons -- now entering late 20s -- are star look-alikes, so we'd get xtra attention on prior cruises LOL). I think I would have had fewer of these negative experiences on cruise line that may cater to solos a little more like NCL.

 

Overall, a positive experience and I'm glad I did it. I will be able to go back to work very, very rested.

[ChiGal1962]

I did run into some bumps in the road -- like having to sit by myself in the dining room because there were no shared tables, having some staff take "pity" on me and be annoyingly attentive, and having photographers and drink waiters skip over me. Having cruised often in the past with my family, I sometimes felt overlooked on this cruise. (On the other hand, it could have been because my sons -- now entering late 20s -- are star look-alikes, so we'd get xtra attention on prior cruises LOL). I think I would have had fewer of these negative experiences on cruise line that may cater to solos a little more like NCL.

 

Overall, a positive experience and I'm glad I did it. I will be able to go back to work very, very rested.

 

I actually do find this issue somewhat often and irritating - that photographers and waiters and the like skip over me. When I have asked, they are assuming that I'm waiting for someone, and will come back to me when my "whole party" is there. They're just trying to be efficient and not annoying (for the most part).

 

I have had to learn to ask the photographers to take my picture if I want (which is extremely awkward for me) and to be a little more assertive in getting the waiters' attention. The good thing with the waiters is that if you frequent the same places, once they get to know that you're by yourself, no more skipping :)

 

That level of public assertiveness has long been outside my comfort zone, but it's getting more comfortable.

 

Glad you had a great trip overall!

[Truluv]

Chigal - Your explanation makes so much sense to me! I figured it was because I was either solo (or 60s, etc.), but your explanation for why they have been skipping over me is very reasonable. I won't take it personally anymore :-).

[Truluv]

Chigal - Your explanation makes so much sense to me! I figured it was because I was either solo (or 60s, etc.), but your explanation for why they have been skipping over me is very reasonable. I won't take it personally anymore :-).

[staceyv64]

I just returned from NCL Breakaway. It was my first solo vacation ever. I ran into a few awkward situations in the dining room, but overall, it was a huge success. I think NCL does a great job with solo travelers, even if you are not in a studio cabin. We met every day at 5 with the solo traveler coordinator and he arranged dinner and shows for all who wanted to go. We all didn't spend every evening together but when we did, it was fun. I did happen to be staying in a studio cabin and had my other solo neighbors knock on my door to invite me to things. For me, I had a good balance of alone and together time. The best part - actually the most restful part, was the fact that I did what I wanted to do ALL the time. I love traveling with others, but this was all about what I did or didn't want to do. It was lovely!

[scuba idcs]

Last December I secretly booked a 13 day Caribbean cruise for February 2016 for my husband and me. It was going to be a surprise. I love to cruise and he always says he doesn't, but once he's on board he has a great time. I bring my scuba gear and go diving at every port. Anyway, after getting some other cruising friends to book the same trip, I got the biggest surprise. My husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in April and died in May. So I have a paid-for ocean suite for seven months from now. I am planning on going and diving any way.

 

Reading what some of you have written has let me know other people do this, so why can't I? The bigger deal will be when I book a cruise for just me with no other friends on board. I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions.

 

We always had at least a balcony if not a suite. The cabins for solo people seem to be smaller and something I probably would not enjoy. Does anybody have any thoughts about that? Several of you talked about lounges or get-togethers for singles/solos. Obviously, I am not looking to hook up (i'm 68) but it's always fun when you can find somebody to do stuff with.

 

What do you think??

[Lois R]

Last December I secretly booked a 13 day Caribbean cruise for February 2016 for my husband and me. It was going to be a surprise. I love to cruise and he always says he doesn't, but once he's on board he has a great time. I bring my scuba gear and go diving at every port. Anyway, after getting some other cruising friends to book the same trip, I got the biggest surprise. My husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in April and died in May. So I have a paid-for ocean suite for seven months from now. I am planning on going and diving any way.

 

Reading what some of you have written has let me know other people do this, so why can't I? The bigger deal will be when I book a cruise for just me with no other friends on board. I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions.

 

We always had at least a balcony if not a suite. The cabins for solo people seem to be smaller and something I probably would not enjoy. Does anybody have any thoughts about that? Several of you talked about lounges or get-togethers for singles/solos. Obviously, I am not looking to hook up (i'm 68) but it's always fun when you can find somebody to do stuff with.

 

What do you think??

 

Hi...my condolences go out to you..........

 

As for the size of cabins? I always sail solo and the cabins I book

are the same size for me as for a couple.....I think the cabins you

might be referring to are those studios on NCL....I have seen photos

of them and they are VERY small (In my opinion)......100 sq feet or

something like that........no thanks, those are not for me.

Edited July 8, 2015 by Lois R

[calliopecruiser]

I'm sorry for your loss -- the speed of the "surprise" must have made it that much worse.

 

The cabins for solo people seem to be smaller and something I probably would not enjoy. Does anybody have any thoughts about that? Several of you talked about lounges or get-togethers for singles/solos. Obviously, I am not looking to hook up (i'm 68) but it's always fun when you can find somebody to do stuff with.

 

What do you think??

 

A solo passenger can have any cabin desired (as long as he/she is willing to pay for it, including any supplemental charge added for booking it for only single occupancy). NCL currently has some studio cabins that are designed for solo passengers in that they are smaller and incur no supplement for booking solo. However they are quite small (100 sq ft) and are only available inside. And sometimes they actually cost more than paying the supplement on a larger (i.e. standard) cabin, so a traveler could pay extra if he/she doesn't shop around. I think marketing only the cheapest and smallest pieces of real estate to solo passengers is insulting, but I think I'm the only one who sees it that way ;) Generally speaking they are filled quite quickly.

 

Solo passengers on these ships have access to a "solo lounge" with which to meet other solos, but that doesn't interest me. When I want to meet people on board, I don't care if they are solos, couples, or part of a family group - so the availability of a place (or an event) for solos doesn't hold much appeal to me, and I'm no more comfortable or likely to chat with people there than in a group of mixed passengers. YMMV.

[HHIslander]

Scuba IDCS,

 

First, I am sorry to hear about your husband. I used to sail with my late wife and after her death with my son. But time moves on and my son has a challenging career and a wife. I decided to bite the bullet and I booked a sixteen day transatlantic cruise, solo, not knowing a sole on the cruise. I was just a tad nervous about this trip.

 

My concerns, however, were unfounded. The first night of the cruise, I went to the M&M meeting and shortly after that a gathering of solo passengers hosted by the cruise director. I met a lot of fascinating people at both gatherings. Everyone was very friendly. In fact, I suspect if I didn't find everyone friendly, the fault might be mine. I am confident that with or without friends, you will soon have new friends. I know it wil be difficult at first, but please enjoy all of your future cruises.

[Khaos WolfKat]

When I want to meet people on board, I don't care if they are solos, couples, or part of a family group - so the availability of a place (or an event) for solos doesn't hold much appeal to me, and I'm no more comfortable or likely to chat with people there than in a group of mixed passengers. YMMV.

Same here, actually. Though I might go to the "solo" gathering thingy just for the experience, if I feel like it at the time.

I'm planning on leaving most of my options open, as this is my first cruise, and I don't know what all there is to do and what I'll end up liking. I sometimes can be sceptical about something that sounds lame, only to end up having a blast, so I've learned to be willing to give most anything a shot, and know it's ok to bow out if I'm really not digging it after giving it a fair trial. I've met SO many cool people and had such amazing experiences as a result of that rule!

[floridafish]

I’m doing my 1st solo at the end of month. I’ve been going on cruises for years and all with my kids. I mentioned on a previous post that because my kids would find friends fast often times I was pretty much “alone” on the ship. If I was lucky they would have dinner with me.:rolleyes:

 

So going into this 1st solo I’m pretty much prepared for what to expect.

 

I’m just looking forward to time at the pool and luck at the craps table and hopefully meet some nice people along the way.

[forecastle]

I’m doing my 1st solo at the end of month. I’ve been going on cruises for years and all with my kids. I mentioned on a previous post that because my kids would find friends fast often times I was pretty much “alone” on the ship. If I was lucky they would have dinner with me.:rolleyes:

 

So going into this 1st solo I’m pretty much prepared for what to expect.

 

I’m just looking forward to time at the pool and luck at the craps table and hopefully meet some nice people along the way.

Try couple hands at three card poker easy game.