Child Safety - Overreacting or Not?

[jayblue]

I was on an RC ship a couple weeks ago with my sister-in-law. One night she wanted some coffee at around 1:30 AM. When she got on the elevator to go down to Cafe Promenade, there were 3 girls (she said they looked between 13 and 15) sitting on the floor, playing cards.

 

My SIL asked what they were doing and was told that they were two sisters and a cousin who were sailing with family. They were sharing cabins with their parents, who wanted to go to bed so told the girls to go somewhere else. The girls said they hung out in the teen club until it closed. They didn't want to go back to their cabins, but a security guy told them they couldn't hang out on the pool deck because curfew was 1 AM for under 18. The girls decided to sit in the elevator instead. My SIL thought it was weird but since the girls weren't being noisy or misbehaving, she decided not to say anything.

 

After she got some coffee, she ended up in the same elevator with the girls, but this time a man that my SIL said looked to be early to mid-50s had joined them. My SIL asked the man if he was related to the girls and he told her that he wasn't but was sitting with them so security would leave them alone.

 

My SIL thought it was really creepy that a man was hanging out with mid-teen girls who were not kin so she called guest relations when she got to her cabin to ask if they would send security to check out the situation. She went back to elevator about 10 minutes later and everyone was gone.

 

She asked me the next morning if I thought she had overreacted by calling for security. She wasn't trying to cause trouble and had no proof that the man was going to do anything to the girls, but she was concerned anyway. I thought she did the right thing, but I'm not an appropriate sounding-board since I don't have any kids.

 

After the cruise I mentioned the incident to some coworkers who have teens to see if they want security called if their teens were hanging out with an adult stranger. Many of them thought my SIL shouldn't have done anything. They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent. Since the girls were together and had their parents' permission to be out past ship curfew, my SIL was interfering. I was surprised by the responses.

 

I am curious what other cruisers suggest to do in that situation. Ignore it? Call security? Confront the man?

 

My SIL told me that she didn't see either the girls or the man after that night and she hoped that her actions didn't cause anyone to be thrown off the ship. I don't think that not seeing them is really surprising considering the size of Navigator, and I also don't think RC would throw anyone off for just sitting in an elevator with underage girls or for letting kids stay out past curfew.

 

You absolutely did the right thing. Cruise ships don't do security screens of passengers or check the sex offender registry, do they? I bet not.

 

Their parents should have known better. There is NO WAY I would allow a 13 year old child to wander around the ship at that time of night without an adult (25 or better). As we have seen in recent months there are too many creeps finding jobs on these ships.

[Cindy]

I would have done the same thing -- probably sooner than your sister-in-law. A ship is no different than any other place in that it's not a good idea for unsupervised teens to be out and about by themselves in the middle of the night.

[babyher]

The only thing a village has ever raised is a village idiot. It takes a parent (or two) to raise a child, and that was clearly lacking here.

 

 

 

Where the heck is that LIKE button :)

[firefighter75]

I

 

They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent.

 

This is absolutely not true and whoever made this statement is totally clueless. As someone involved in public safety, I can assure you that those sick people are everywhere. You'd be very surprised where they pop up and what positions they hold. NEVER assume there isn't one around just because of where you are.

[Mac303]

Based on my 40+years in Law Enforcement, and with only the OP's post to go on, I

Agree with her actions and would have done the same or more. I would imagine that security went to the elevator and briefly questioned them (all) and sent the girls to their cabin.

 

People who have bad intentions don't have a sign hanging around their neck identifying them, we will never know if the OP's actions that night prevented something from happening, but we do know that this cruise didn't have any reports of serious wrong doing, because this board would have had someone write about it.

[SA Mom]

This story sort of creeped me out a little. It reminded me of the story a few years ago of an 11-year-old girl molested on a DCL ship in the elevator by a staff member. That was about 2 years ago.

 

We will be enjoying our first cruise this summer. We are frequent guests to Disney parks. I think of the cruise similarly to being at Disney. You are not in a crime free bubble and maybe even more susceptible because you let your guard down when there.

[LMaxwell]

I think it is a good idea to go with your gut instinct when it deals with safety and welfare. If your gut says something isn't right about a situation, handle it appropriately.

 

That said, I do think there's some bias going on here with the word "creep" and such being thrown around. That's a very negative remark based on practically nothing and may subconsciously be driving some responses.

 

Side note - I find it amusing that the guy that has said he would physically restrain children out past curfew in the past, is in here basically blaming the kids for the entire situation. The kids already are displaying they can't follow rules, and are clever enough to try to circumvent them, and the parents don't want to enforce them. So how much stock do you put in their judgment? As a thinking adult if a situation seems "off" it is prudent, as I said in my opening, to go with your gut and have it handled appropriately, and under no circumstances do you, as a cruise guest, restrain or touch a minor. (Okay, one exception, if administering CPR / First Aid)

[Mark-Sheffield]

I am a qualified social worker and have been involved in child safeguarding/protective services for over 15 years.

 

I can assure the members of this thread that child abusers come from all levels of society, (trust me I have met them). I have also worked as a probation/parole officer and specialised in working with sex offenders as well as writing pre-sentence reports for the Courts.

 

If i had seen teenagers at that time in the morning, my professional role would have probably kicked in and I would have likely been speaking to the parents. Although I would have no authority on the ship, once ashore I could have alerted the local services for where they live and make a referral.

[knittinggirl]

The parents were irresponsible.

 

But I'm wondering about the elevator. Don't they have hidden security cameras in there? If so, why weren't the security there sooner.

[A&L_Ont]

The parents were irresponsible.

 

But I'm wondering about the elevator. Don't they have hidden security cameras in there? If so, why weren't the security there sooner.

 

One would think so.

[Paul65]

One would think so.

 

I would think they likely have security cameras, but I don't know that they have someone actively monitoring all the security cameras around the ship. I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't necessarily expect that.

[Queen of Oakville]

I'm late to this thread and have not read all the responses, but ...

 

1. Your SIL did the right thing.
    
   
2. Shame on those parents - I assume they would have been the first to scream bloody murder if something had happened to one of those girls. I can't imagine any parent telling their young daughters to leave the cabin because they want to sleep (or whatever they wanted to do).
    
    
   
3. Shame on your co-workers for not seeing any anything wrong with this situation. I question the type of parents they are.
   

 

 

I agree with the others, the ship is no safer than anywhere else in the world. In fact, I think the chances of something happening are greater - too many places to hide or for nefarious activities to occur. You don't let your guard down just because you are on vacation.

[BND]

If you can tell me what rule or law he broke other than violating your sense of morals, I will agree with you. Otherwise, no, he as a paying customer has the right to be wherever (as authorized), whenever he wants on the cruise ship and your morals don't get to play a part in that.

 

Wow, this is not about his rights. This is about the children being out after curfew and an adult male hanging out with them to "keep security away" in a place they are not supposed to be. If you can't see anything wrong with that, then I don't know what to think about you. I do know this is the type of behavior that someone up to no good would display. The fact you think it was absolutely innocent means you possibly have no clue about what goes on in the world. And, all your responses are questionable. If you really think like that, then I'm thinking you have no children. Otherwise, I would be flabbergasted that as a parent your first thought we be of the guys "rights". And yes, I have strong morals.

Edited June 22, 2015 by BND

[john watson]

I wonder do security avoid escorting minors to their cabin, in case anyone suggests impropriety there too?

 

This is true; and in addition to stopping false allegations, staying in public CCTV areas makes sense as does going to guest relations contacting parents and hauling them out of their cabins to face the inconvenience of having to get dressed and explain why your children are disrupting the ambience of the ship.

 

I have no criticism of you SIL; she has gone as far as she feels is practical to alert the appropriate people to a situation which could turn bad. As for the guy in the lift; may well have had safety in mind, it's a tricky scenario but really he needed to alert security too in my opinion.

 

The bottom line is bad parenting to be frank.

 

I had a similar situation on my last cruise. I got in a lift (elevator) and a ten? year old girl got in and said excuse me, "does this lift go to 5?". I said "No" and she started crying and got out, so I got out. This is the help instinct kicking in. It was about 1pm not am but she was distressed and a number of people were about. This is a problem we get these days, men have to feel safe from false allegations which may be made or simply construed by outsiders and it can sometimes be difficult when few people are about. Through her tears she said she needed to get back to her cabin on deck 11. I have immediately explained that she needed to go forward to the mid-ship lifts by the atrium and all five lifts there go to deck 11 unlike the aft elevators where we were. I asked her if I can show you the correct lifts are you happy to then carry on alone to wherever you need. She said she was, however just then her mother came round the corner. I just let her go and said no more. She was old enough to go round alone but the navigation on ships can be tricky at that marginal age.

 

You have got to help children but need to be very careful how you do it. I should generally seek the assistance of a random woman or group of women if hardly anyone was about and explain the whole story and would bet they would help.

 

Regards John

[Mark-Sheffield]

Clearly i would not argue that the male with the teenagers did not break any laws. But as previous posters have commented no one knows what his intentions were ? If indeed they were innocent why did he not alert security rather than being there to stop security from investigating further.

 

The bottom line is that its not the teenage girls that was at fault, it was their parents being totally irresponsible and not aware of the potential risks.

[LA_CA_GAL]

And yet it's okay if an adult woman puts herself in the same position? A little sexist don't you think?

 

I had two minor children and I kept my eye on them at all times so others wouldn't have to.

 

First, I never said that it would be OK for an adult woman to do the same.

 

However, I work in law enforcement. I deal with Internet Crimes Against Children. Pedophiles and child pornography.

 

Fact: 99% of pedophiles and those involved with child pornography are males. Would you consider that to be a sexist statement? I live on planet earth in the real world.

[The Sunset Glow]

The guy hanging out with the girls is not guilty of breaking any laws or rules but is guilty of bad judgement....and so were the parents.

 

I would have reported it too - better safe than sorry.

[wildflower88]

I agree 1000% with the sister-in-law! I would love to hear the parents side of the story. :D

[edin_cruiser]

On the subject of the curfew, I've cruised both as an older teen and a young adult and noticed that the enforcement is generally pretty lenient.

 

 

On one cruise there was a particularly rowdy group of teens and security was rather strict in getting them back to their cabins (Two of them were threatened to be kicked off the ship after being out late several times) but generally speaking if the teenagers are just sitting around quietly talking, sitting in cafe promenade, etc, then security don't make an issue of it.

 

On my most recent cruise I went back to my room at around 3:45am after being in the casino and going for a late night snack, and my 15 year old sister was nowhere to be found. Eventually she arrived back at around 5am.