JW and Jerome's Adventure on The Norwegian Escape

[cruiseguys2009]

So, I've come through the three secret doors back into The public area by The District and Waterfront. I turn and walk just past the forward elevators and there, just on my right is "La Cuchina", the Italian Restaurant (Fabulous, we enjoyed it) and on my left is the inside part of "It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere Bar" (They are having a Private Sail-A-Way party). Then I come to what is now my absolute favorite bar, Tobacco Road. It is Lush, Rustic, a Classic Country Club feel and the Cocktails? Ah-May-Zing. True Handcrafted Classic Cocktails, Bourbons, Manhattans and Martini's, Single Malt Scotch, and some fabulous Bartenders who know what a handcrafted Martini or Manhattan is.

 

In the one corner of Tobacco Road is the Cigar/Smoking lounge. It was always busy, and frankly, I do love the smell of a good cigar, which there are plenty of, and all different kinds to purchase and smoke in the lounge.

 

So I belly up to the bar for my first Handcrafted Martini, the bar is crowded, laughter and the party mood is really beginning to form. Then I thought that I would do something nice for Jerome and order him a Manhattan and take it back to the room for him to enjoy while he is unpacking. I could order my Martini and take it with me as well and I could sit on the balcony enjoying my libation without bothering Jerome. What a great idea.

 

I order for myself first, "May I please have a Grey Goose Martini, Straight Up, Very Dry, Very, Very well chilled, with Olives?" The Bartender acknowledged my order, and began the lovely procedures of carefully crafting my cocktail. First, filling my selected Martini glass with ice and water to chill the glass. He then proceeded to mix my cocktail. He didn't just throw the ingredients together, he masterfully added ice to the shaker, one cube at a time using silver tongs, then slowly pouring the vodka, then capping it and here we go again, KC and The Sunshine Band perform live: "Shake, Shake, Shake.......Shake, Shake, Shake and he keeps on shaking. He poured the ice and water out of the now, nicely chilled Martini glass and then filtered my cocktail with an honest to goodness cocktail strainer into the glass (Not like a speed bartender's way of putting one glass inside the shaker and pouring it out all at once into a martini glass that has not been chilled....gosh I really hate that, slopping it all over the place and then it tastes like a Margarita because no one bothered to clean the shaker before making my drink.....has that every happened to you?) That is the difference between a Cocktail and just a Drink. He poked three olives onto a bamboo pick and added them to the cocktail. Yum, my mouth was watering.

 

He places the cocktail on a beverage napkin in front of me, I am going to Tinkle. There, on the top of the cocktail, is a thin layer of frozen vodka with ice particles. It was like a little mini ice skating rink that Dorothy Hammil herself could do twirls on. Oh yes, I was going to enjoy this Martini. I happily sighed. I gave him my key card, he ran it through the computer, returned it and I had a dollar tip on the bar for him, he thanked me, waiting to see my reaction to his creation. I slowly reached for the stem of the glass. I could just taste that first sip and the chilled ice crystals on my lips. I was in true Martini Heaven with anticipation. I was bringing the glass romantically to my lips, slowly, thinking all the while I was in a big old fashioned Hollywood production and a camera was panning my profile as I brought the glass closer and closer, I had hi-gloss Candy Apple Jungle Red Lipstick on as the camera focused in on my big red lips as I went to take my first sip. I parted my lips moistening them with my tongue, I had the glass right up to take the cold liquid lovingly in my parched, prepared mouth............................whathe?

 

When all of the sudden I get knocked in the elbow of the arm I was holding the glass in and the Martini goes all over me and the bar, not a drop in my mouth, but I managed to still be holding on to the stem, no sir, I was not about to let that go.

 

This Gal, already heavily imbibed (it's only about four o'clock, how many Ultimate Beverage Package cocktails could she have possible have had already?) knocks into me, stumbling over herself with an empty wine glass and yells to the bartender, "Hey Bro' Mister!" "Getmepleash, getsme a glass of Prosciutto." Wait, what? I shoot a crazy look at her and then at The Bartender. He then looked at her and said "Pardon Me?" I looked at her, still clutching my glass with all the vodka she made me spill still being cleaned up by the Bartender and myself, when she blurts out again "Iwantschu to givezzzzz me anotha glazzzz of Prosciutto." Prosciutto? Prosciutto? What, they have Meat Cocktails now?

 

I turn to the bartender as we look at each other inquisitively and I say so just the two of us can hear, "Yeah, can I please get a nice, tall Turkey and Swiss on the Rocks?" "And, Make it a double!" We both laugh. This girl is swaying, back and forth, back and forth. All she wants is a Prosciutto. I kind of fancy Serrano myself, but that's just me.

 

The Bartender looks at her, and she is swaying back and forth and the ship is not even moving yet. I know he was not going to serve her any more alcohol at that time. Then a friend she is with comes up and says that "She has had enough, no more for now!" "I should say not!" I said, "That Prosciutto is really strong stuff!" The friend had absolutely no idea of what I was talking about, looked at me briefly, seemingly annoyed, probably thought I was trashed too, and proceeded to get her friend, Miss Italian Ham, (I will call her Hammy for short) away from the bar.

 

"PROSECCO!" I said as she was leaving. Goodness, gracious, me. If you are going to drink it, know that it's called Prosecco! It's Italian sparkling wine. Geez, Prosciutto.

 

I turn to the Bartender as Hammy stumbles out of the bar and just shake my head, and he was already one step ahead of my request and making me, yet another, icy chilled Martini replacement. The special, first Martini moment had passed, so this time, I took a good look around me before I took a sip, and ended up taking a good guzzle. Yum, "AHHHHHHHH!" I sighed. That is good. "Now get me a Prosciutto!" We both laughed.

 

I asked if he could give me a Manhattan to take to the room for Jerome and he asked what Bourbon would I like. After checking out the awesome selection of small batch bourbons, I chose Bulliet. The Bartender took a special glass pitcher, added the bourbon, bitters, vermouth and a little ice, then began to elegantly stir the Manhattan. When he was satisfied, he added it to a Rocks Glass filled with fresh ice and strained the Manhattan into it and added cherries. Beautiful!

 

I gave him my key card for the cocktails, they were included in our Ultimate Beverage Package (Nice!) and I left a couple of dollars on the bar, grabbing both drinks to take back to the cabin. Oh, Jerome was going to be sooooo surprised, I am bringing him a Manhattan.

 

I proceeded to get to door number one in the secret hallway to our cabin, and thankfully someone was coming out of it and held the door for me, juggling two cocktails and heavy ship corridor doors that swing shut quickly, is a feat unto itself.

 

Door number two, as luck would have it, yet someone else coming through and held the door for me. "Thank You!" I said.

 

Now, here I am, I made it to the third door, the Cabin corridor entry door. How the heck am I going to do this. Come on JW, you have been in the service industry all your life, you know how to handle a Martini Glass and a Rocks Glass together. But this door is a heavy slammy-shut-on-my-behind kind of door. Ok, got the knob, turning the knob, opening the door with my pinky, nothing spilled yet, it's opening, it's opening, it's open and I got it propped open with my elbow! I take a momentary sigh of relief, move my hands in front of me, then trying to maneuver my feet, with my elbow balancing the door, and "WHAM" "CRASH" "SPLAT". My elbow slipped, The door closes on my arms, I drop the drinks all over the floor and now there is glass everywhere. Oh Lordy Be.

 

Fortunately, as I said this is a crew corridor, at that moment a crew member saw what happened and insisted that he will take care of the glass and for me not to touch anything. I felt like a total boob. My first drink, my Martini was spilled all over me, the second is now on the floor. I cannot catch a break.

 

Back to Tobacco Road I go. The Bartender looks at me and says, "You are finished with them already?" I said no, the second one spilled too. He proceeded to make round two for Jerome, round three for me. I asked him to just make Jerome's Manhattan first so I could take it to him and then I would come back to enjoy my Martini, finally.

 

I brought Jerome's drink to door number one, got through without incident. Get to door number two, same thing. I am on a roll again. JW here comes door number three, I am walking proud as a Peacock until, and wouldn't you know it, the side entrance of The District is now just to my left, and barrelling out of that door smack right into me is, who do you think? Miss Hammy, stumbling all the while, mumbling, drooling, a total mess and looking for the Ladies Room and causing me to take a bath in a Manhattan. Goshdagnabit! Noooooo, this cannot be happening to me! Crash, the glass goes down again, but this time, only broke in two pieces. I carefully picked it up and turn around and go back to Tobacco Road once again.

 

I have the glass in my hand, I needed it for evidence to prove that it really did drop AGAIN, and the Bartender just looks at me, shakes his head and then proceeds to make another one. "What happened?" He asked. "You'll never guess!" I replied and then continued "Miss Prosciutto" rammed into me looking for the ladies room." (I had not named her Miss Hammy until this story, so on board, she was Miss Prosciutto) Gosh, with those initial first day Ultimate Beverage Package charges, NCL must think I am more of a lush than I really am (On the first day, I said)

 

Round three, lets try this again. I have Jerome's drink in my hand, I am covered in Martini/Manhattan cocktail concoctions, I smell like a cross between Invictus Cologne, Martinis and Manhattans. Kind of like a seedy bar trying to cover up the stale liquor smell with Febreeze. I am bound and determined to do this now and get to the room.

 

I go through door number one. No issues. I go through door number two, again, no issues. With a careful, determined look on my face, I stop at the doors to The District, like I am at a stop sign in traffic. I look both ways. I take one step towards the door and "WHOOSH" the door opens and there is Jerome, stopping quickly in his tracks and stands there looking at me, as I am holding a Manhattan, soaking wet and all bourbon martini stained. I look at him, huffing and puffing, with him looking back at me with his look of "Should I ask what happened to him?" I thrust my arm out handing him the drink and sarcastically say, "Here, I have been trying to get one of these to you for about 20 minutes now with no luck."

 

Jerome finally says "JW, you are a mess, what happened?" I just stood there, silent, as people were coming and going, Jerome was holding and sipping on his cocktail like we were having social hour in the dang corridor for Chrysakes.

 

I finally just broke down from all the first day emotions and excitement and blubbered out, "Miss Proscuitto banged into me not once, but twice, the doors attacked me, I was trying to do something nice and all the while the doors were preventing me from doing it, all I wanted is to have a Martini on our Balcony, and I tried to get to the room three times with cocktails, and the bartender thinks I am nuts, I smell like Perry Ellis' new men's cologne "Alcoholic Dreams", and I have ice in my shoe melting" Jerome had no idea what I was talking about and he only said "JW, you are not making sense, but you don't usually anyway" (Oh the look I just shot him, that sunsomabische!) "I was just coming out to the bar to have a drink with you because I am finished packing". "I figured you were out at that bar out there that looks like a Country Club, your kind of a place", I interjected "Tobacco Road", and he continued, "I figured you had already met 200 of your newest, closest friends on this ship!"

 

"Here, lets go back to the bar and get you a Martini." Is it any wonder to anyone why we have been together for so long?

 

Trouble is finally going to get that Martini!

Edited June 28, 2016 by cruiseguys2009

[LrgPizza]

You should publish this as a book.

[cruiseguys2009]

I finally had my Martini, it was marvelous, and we got a chance to walk outside for the first time, onto the Waterfront, out the doors of Tobacco Road. As we walked outside, there, to the left, is an Outside "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" bar.

 

I must tell you. This is a fun gathering place all throughout the cruise. There is one particular Special Bartender who rules this roost! I believe he is either from Grenada, The Bahamas or Jamaica and always is wearing a straw hat. He is an experienced conversationalist and I am sorry not to have gotten his name. The man is truly animated and extremely funny. He keeps a captive audience, makes a mean cocktail and has a crowd at all times of the day or night. He is really a joy, and if anyone knows his name, please acknowledge it here.

 

This man is a complete and genuine service professional. But, he just another reason that The Norwegian Escape is as special as it is.

[cincicruisers]

Enjoying your review.

[CruisinNikki]

I finally had my Martini, it was marvelous, and we got a chance to walk outside for the first time, onto the Waterfront, out the doors of Tobacco Road. As we walked outside, there, to the left, is an Outside "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" bar.

 

I must tell you. This is a fun gathering place all throughout the cruise. There is one particular Special Bartender who rules this roost! I believe he is either from Grenada, The Bahamas or Jamaica and always is wearing a straw hat. He is an experienced conversationalist and I am sorry not to have gotten his name. The man is truly animated and extremely funny. He keeps a captive audience, makes a mean cocktail and has a crowd at all times of the day or night. He is really a joy, and if anyone knows his name, please acknowledge it here.

 

This man is a complete and genuine service professional. But, he just another reason that The Norwegian Escape is as special as it is.

 

His name is Clarense, known by all on board as The Chocolate Cowboy. He is from Honduras and is fabulous!

[DMH15]

Reading this right before going to sleep. Think I will smile all night.

[tinkr2]

As soon as I watched your video of the cabin, I knew those cabins would be a problem for me. I thought how would I get 2 drinks back to the cabin with all those doors. I immediately pictured happening to me, what happened to you:eek:

[Victorious8]

LOVING THIS! So bummed you won't be there on my cruise in early August! We would have the best time together. You YO WHO'S made me already miss my big obnoxious family that I will be cruising without. Luckily I have always been the most obnoxious so I am sure I will make some friends easily. If not I will need to time to decompress after the beast that is the CA bar! I look forward to the updates and will use them as study breaks over the next few weeks!

[cruiseguys2009]

His name is Clarense, known by all on board as The Chocolate Cowboy. He is from Honduras and is fabulous!

 

 

Thank you so much! Yes it's Clarense, The Chocolate Cowboy! What an amazing hi-energy guy who is a singular sensation unto his own. His comedic routines were effortless and flawless. Once captured at the bar, we were hooked for the week, always making time to stop by for at least a drink to watch and enjoy the antics.

 

This is one reason we enjoyed The Escape so much. There were so many areas that were tucked away that were very interesting, and also filtered folks into the area so that, rarely, did I feel overwhelmed and the ship overcrowded, with 5,500 others on board.

 

When everyone finally gets on The Escape, don't forget look Clarense up at the outdoor, On The Waterfront, "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" Bar.

[LrgPizza]

Thank you so much! Yes it's Clarense, The Chocolate Cowboy! What an amazing hi-energy guy who is a singular sensation unto his own. His comedic routines were effortless and flawless. Once captured at the bar, we were hooked for the week, always making time to stop by for at least a drink to watch and enjoy the antics.

 

This is one reason we enjoyed The Escape so much. There were so many areas that were tucked away that were very interesting, and also filtered folks into the area so that, rarely, did I feel overwhelmed and the ship overcrowded, with 5,500 others on board.

 

When everyone finally gets on The Escape, don't forget look Clarense up at the outdoor, On The Waterfront, "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" Bar.

 

We first met Clarence on the Transatlantic, and at that time he was working in the bar up at Margaritaville. When we sailed May 21, it didn't take us long to track him down at his new location, The 5 'o Clock Somewhere bar. At first we didn't recognize him because he didn't have his hat. He told us that 2 weeks earlier, a female passenger had stolen his hat right from his head and ran away with it! Who does that?! He'd had the same hat for many, many years, and it was very special to him. At one of the ports on our cruise, he purchased himself a new hat that was even better than the first, although he obviously still missed his original.

[cruiseguys2009]

Just to give you an idea of how "crazy creative" we at Marriott can be. This buffet presentation is provided for our an exceptional Guest experience. It's the little things that really do matter.

 

[pmk515]

We first met Clarence on the Transatlantic, and at that time he was working in the bar up at Margaritaville. When we sailed May 21, it didn't take us long to track him down at his new location, The 5 'o Clock Somewhere bar. At first we didn't recognize him because he didn't have his hat. He told us that 2 weeks earlier, a female passenger had stolen his hat right from his head and ran away with it! Who does that?! He'd had the same hat for many, many years, and it was very special to him. At one of the ports on our cruise, he purchased himself a new hat that was even better than the first, although he obviously still missed his original.

 

WHAT?!!? They stole the dude's hat?

 

I would get it as a joke and taking a picture with it on "ha ha ha" stuff. But then give the man his hat back!

 

Some people...

[keeponcruising]

The silverware palm tree is really cool. I loved your Hammy and failed cocktail story and am wondering if you kept on bumping into her on the cruise. Don't you find that even how big a ship is, that you keep on bumping into the same people?

[Talus731]

OH MY GOODNESS! This is making my day. Sorry for your troubles, but it was so worth it for the laugh I just had. You Are truly making me reconsider my Christmas 2017 Cruise and book the Escape instead.

[cruiseguys2009]

Five Bongs!

 

So here it is, almost 5PM, and we are used to already have sailed away by this time on other cruises. All the other ships in port have left except The Norwegian Escape and The MSC Divina (Been on her and she is a gorgeous ship, but most Americans do not care for her, read my review). I am not used to sailing at 7PM, and since it's Daylight Savings Time, there is none of the "romance of the darkness" in leaving at this time either. Nonetheless, here comes the BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG. A Bong on a ship is a Long Beeeeeeep and very loud and usually signals an emergency life boat drill.

 

Our Muster Station (I love it when folks call it a Mustard Station, as if looking for the condiments to put on a hot dog or hamburger) was in the Theater, forward. We had Life Boat Station Number 3, located ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STEPS TO THE FRONT ROW, great seats for the shows but horrible for the Muster Station as the crowds are vast and confused and move like comatose turtles.

 

Trust me, if we are going down, ala Concordia, then I am not going to the front row of the theater. Nosiree. I am going to a life boat.

 

Any way, we arrive at the theater, modestly early, because we know the drill and there are literally 150 older generation folks just standing at the top not moving, blocking the way. "Oh yeah", I turn to Jerome saying, "These are the folks waiting for The Miracle!" Jerome smirks back, knowing what I mean which you will find out in a minute. "Excuse Me, Pardon Me, Excuse Me" I say, feeling like Moses parting the Red (Senior Citizen) Sea "So where do you want me to go?", barks one lady to me in her Brooklyn accent. "To your Life Boat station and take a seat!", I retorted back.

 

All we over hear as we walk through this crowd is "Oh My Gawd, Henry I can't walk down those stairs, my arthritis!" "Emma, we are not going to walk those steps, I will fall." "OY, Harold, you know me and my balance, I can't walk down steps." "I'm not going down there, I am claustrophobic." "Madeline, why do we have to go there, we're here, that's all they want, right? Of course right. We stay." "I can't walk down steps I am on Medication" "George, we are staying put, I am not getting stuck down there and have to wait in line later for the buffet". Oh My Goodness Gracious. Yeah? I bet in an emergency they can all climb to get in a life boat pretty darn quick. Please folks, If I get this old and entitled and crotchety, just throw me overboard.

 

These are the same folks who rush through a 6pm dinner, shovel, shovel, shovel their food, snap their fingers at the waitstaff shouting "Hurry Up!" then who run to the theater and rush, rush, rush down these very same steps, to get to the best seats, saving more seats for Emma, Henry, George, Maude, Madge and Madeline. Yep. I know.

 

These are the same folks who are first in the Tender Line and have no issues getting into a rocking tender in rough waters to go ashore.

 

That's why I call it the Miracle Life Boat Drill, because as soon as the Safety Drill is over.........."It's a Miracle" "Joy! Rapture!" They can all WALK, and walk briskly, again! Up the stairs, down the stairs, from buffet station to buffet station, and certainly have no trouble being first when it's time to play Bingo, and they take all those seats in the front of the theater, miraculously cured to be able to walk those stairs all the way down to the front, while the ship is moving no less.

 

So Jerome and I get to the bottom, front row seating, have our sign and sail cards scanned and checked in, then we wait. Finally the drill begins, and they show us how to use our life jacket, like really? If there is a real evacuation, then I am not going to remember but hope I can figure it out. If I can't remember, then God help those ninny's up top who are awaiting The Miracle!

 

Plus, as I said before, if the boat is sinking, I am not going to the front row of the Theater, I am going to a life boat, just sayin'.

 

So I begin to daydream again with that fantasy bubble on my head, So, Well, maybe I will go to the Theater, because in all the hubb bubb, then I can try on all the sparkly costumes while I wait for the Life Boat. Now that would be fun.

 

I would come down to the Life Boat in one of those skimpy sequined Vegas Showgirl costumes. The Crew would yell, "Women and Children and.......and......what-ever (as they look at me dripping in sequins) first!"

 

Ok, so the Drill is over (and my sparkly Life Boat daydream is over as well,) and Jerome and I look behind us and surely as Gawd is My Witness, The Miracle happened and all the medicated and infirmed comatose turtles turned and moved so quickly to get where ever they were going. Scurried like little rats. Only thing is, all the "First Exiter's" from all the other Muster Stations are also running and they all meet in the middle in a Cluster-hockeypuck (rhymes with) bumping into each other. It has been said before, and I agree, that the only time the ship felt crowded was when the Safety Drill was over and until the crowd disperses, it is very crowded. The Escape does an enchanting job of filtering folks to so many venues that it never really felt crowded again. So Jerome and I sat. We patiently waited. And waited. And waited. Did I mention we waited?

 

"I need a Martini."

___________________________________

___________________________________

 

Jerome suggested we head up to VIBE to check it out and I agreed, funny thing, all these folks were waiting for elevators, and Karma being what it is sometimes, Jerome and I were standing at the first elevator, just talking when it magically opened and there was room for just two more, US. Sorrrrry.

 

We got out at floor 18, walked out on deck, gorgeous outside by the way, and we headed up the staircase to Deck 19. At the top of the staircase, we came to a more private deck, complete with a misting feature, two Jacuzzi hot tubs and a full bar. Actually, if you miss out on VIBE, this is just as nice, as the bar is 1/2 public and the other half is on the VIBE side. Plenty of chaise lounges and it does not get crowded until about 11 am because everyone wants to be with the People Soup or the Wee Wee Pool instead, and don't look any further.

 

There it was, The Famous Alice in Wonderland Moving Glass Door with the word VIBE inscribed, behind which, the paradise of VIBE is promised.

 

Jerome put his special VIBE key card in the auto card reader and nothing happened. He did it again, nada. I put my card in and, voila, the doors magically began to open. See me smirk and stick out my tongue to Jerome. Slowly the door opens, and everyone behind us is leaning over trying to steal a glimpse. Ohhhh. Ahhhhh.

 

We had our orange wrist bands on, and were immediately greeted by the wonderful boys of VIBE. Awesome welcome. The bar was full with soon to be buddies for the week, drinking buddies, except for two seats, and Jerome and I decided to take them. The folks were just getting ready for Shot O'clock.

 

Shot O'clock is a nightly ritual in VIBE at around 4is-5ish each day. One shot, two shots, three shots, floor. I am not good at shots. I can't drink Tequila either. If I have one Tequila, I am fine and happy. If I have two Tequila's I am naked. Doesn't matter where I am or with whom I am with, I am peeling off my clothes. I can have as much Vodka and not get a reaction, but give me shots or Tequila and caution goes right out the window. You do not want to see this big ol' Queen naked. I promise your eyes would be scarred for life.

 

"No shots for me!" I announce. All the folks at the bar let out a big ol' "Waaaaa". Then this woman comes up to Jerome and me and introduces herself. Through this thick Southern accent she lets us know that she is Quasi-with Norwegian. I said "Really?" "What do you do?" She replied, "I am a travel agent for Cruises, Inc and exclusively sell cruises for NCL." I came out with, I think, a "How nice". I wanted a Martini and no one could talk me into a shot. Jerome on the other hand has absolutely no will power and if it's in front of him with a proof level, he is going to down that sucker so fast, his head usually spins.

 

At this point in our conversation, I just realized, and turned to Jerome and whispered, "She is the VIBE Den Mother." Yep, that is exactly what she was. I am going to call her Fly Girl, for several reasons.

 

First, she asked Jerome what he did, and Jerome said "Fly for United". To which she replied "Oh I wish I was still a Flight Attendant for US Air." Ohhkaay, I thought, "back to you". Then she proceeded to do the fingers pointing to the exit safety demo routine. Ohhhkaay. She is already three sheets to the wind, working on the fourth. And then we meet her daughter, whom I will nickname Shot-a-rina for reasons that will materialize.

 

Second, she was a Fly Girl. She ruled the roost every day, going from group to group, chaise to chaise, talking to everyone, and always making sure we were imbibed. I never saw either of them outside of VIBE the whole week, so I think that they are both still there, and never got off the ship.

 

So, it's Shot-A-Rina's 21st Birthday Cruise. Remember I said before, One Shot, Two Shot, Three Shot, Floor. Yep, Shot-A-Rina, in the matter of about 25 minutes was in the bathroom, on the floor....ahh the joys of being 21 again. Shot, shot, shot, throw up, throw up, feel fine, more shot, shot, shot, throw up, throw up, feel so fine. Yep, I remember this routine well. That's when I learned about me and Tequila! This became an every day occurrence. Shot-A-Rina would say to me, "Shhhhhhhh" My mother doesn't know I am doing shots." "Really?" I replied, "How do you explain the prolonged visits on the floor of the John?" The girl certainly had a memorable experience, for me mind you, not for her, not that she would remember any of it the whole week.

 

Ahhh, so where was I. Oh yes, "SHOTS!" "SHOTS!" "SHOTS!". None for me but I did get a Martini in a lovely Plastique Krystaline Martini glass, that as soon as we set sail, yes, we set sail, it was 7PM and we are finally moving, the wind knocked all the vodka out of my drink, leaving me with only my pornographic olives and pickle combination.

 

I forgot to mention the Pornographic Pickles and Olive Combo. It seems that an olive is not enough, or a Pickle either. I love Pickle Martini's, by the way (those are Martinis that just replace olive juice in a Dirty Martini with pickle juice, really good). But NCL has Big Queen (Me!) Olives that are stuffed in the hole with little Gherkin Pickles protruding out, quite the thing that makes me go HMMMMMMM:rolleyes:. The olive with inserted pickle graces every Martini, Bloody Mary and anything else you may need a suggestive condiment for. You can just imagine what it SUGGESTED to me..............:eek: HMMMMMMM. I usually found another olive that was missing the pickle and then placed it on the other side of the pickle with olive so it would be happy too. Kind of a double-header, (Baseball, you naughty freak). Perhaps.

 

Fly Girl was going from person to person to person getting all the scoop about all our lives and just was having a truly Busybody Blast. I found her quite interesting, to say the least. And that thick southern drawl was just so much fun. Ah, Bless her heart. Ohh! Ohh!, who knows what that means?

 

We saw "J" sitting at the bar and sat next to him and I had not properly introduced myself in the VIBE line earlier, and so as I extended my hand to shake his, he quickly drew back his hand putting it under his arm (like that girl in the movie "SuperStar" and don't you know I waited for him to smell his fingers like she did) saying "Oh no!" He seemed a bit frazzled, "I never shake hands with anyone, I am a GAMER." Ok, what the heck is a Gamer, can someone please enlighten me? I asked him if he were, like a Germaphobe, like Howie Mandel, to which he said no. He works in some sort of computers thingamajigs doing some sort of somethingorother. Sorry, I am too old to understand. Oohhhkkkay. This is becoming interesting, and we have just left the port for a long seven nights.

 

I have a week with these people!

 

Then he suddenly blurts out (literally out of the blue, startling me) "Oh and you were right!" "Right about what?" I asked. He replied "You were right about my underwear." At that moment, I had not a clue to what he meant and was completely dumbfounded. Jerome became very interested in our conversation just then too, and had his eyebrow raised, (staring at me with this look like, Trouble, what have you gotten yourself into this time?) "Downstairs." J said. "In the VIBE line" "You asked me if my underwear matched." My eyes opened wide, I can't believe I was having a Senior Moment and forgot how crude I was (and usually), and I nodded my head. "So?" I said, "I was right?" saying it as seductively as I could, and Jerome murmuring again in my ear as he turned away, "Slut". "Yep," he said laughing, "It all matches!" Auntie JW knows these things. Yes I do. And I am not a slut, Jerome.

 

Jerome was imbibed, all those shots, and I still wanted a Martini that I could actually drink, so I suggested we go down to the cabin to get ready for dinner and on the way, stop at Tobacco Road to get cocktails to enjoy while we dress. We did after all have reservations at Taste for 8:30pm. I was getting hungry and didn't want to be late.

 

I gave my signature waves and yelled "Tootles" to everyone. See you all for sea day tomorrow!!!!!!!

 

"Weren't Mr and Mrs Milner wonderful?" (Who?, Wait?, What? JW Who? You're thinking.....This is the first I am hearing of them.) Jerome said "Who???" "Mr and Mrs Milner" I replied.(Not their real name but close), "They were the ones sitting across from me at the bar that I was telling dirty jokes to, they were such a wonderful, fun couple." I Loved the Milners.

 

Ahh. The Milners.

Edited June 29, 2016 by cruiseguys2009

[irishayes]

Ooh ooh! I know what "bless.your heart" means! I have a southern friend who explained it to me :)

 

This is great fun. Keep it coming!

 

Sent from my SM-N915V using Tapatalk

[lisakoivu]

I feel like you should get in touch with Sixthman and have them sponsor a JW and Jerome cruise charter. It would seriously sell out faster than a Tragically Hip farewell concert. Which is Canadian for really, really fast. Your review is getting me through the last days of school.

[cruiseguys2009]

I feel like you should get in touch with Sixthman and have them sponsor a JW and Jerome cruise charter. It would seriously sell out faster than a Tragically Hip farewell concert. Which is Canadian for really, really fast. Your review is getting me through the last days of school.

 

 

My motto is Live and Learn...............:D, Thanks so much!

[cruiseguys2009]

Ooh ooh! I know what "bless.your heart" means! I have a southern friend who explained it to me :)

 

This is great fun. Keep it coming!

 

Sent from my SM-N915V using Tapatalk

 

 

And I hope you "Use" the phrase often!

[nets33]

 

All we over hear as we walk through this crowd is "Oh My Gawd, Henry I can't walk down those stairs, my arthritis!" "Emma, we are not going to walk those steps, I will fall." "OY, Harold, you know me and my balance, I can't walk down steps." "I'm not going down there, I am claustrophobic." "Madeline, why do we have to go there, we're here, that's all they want, right? Of course right. We stay." "I can't walk down steps I am on Medication" "George, we are staying put, I am not getting stuck down there and have to wait in line later for the buffet".

 

:p LMAO They are on every cruise! Even with my bad knees I'd rather take the stairs on a ship. Slow and steady.

 

These Miracle Folks are often the same people who also barge into an open elevator door without waiting for people to get off the elevator first.

[Heronymous]

We're going to be on the 8/20 Escape cruise as well and getting married onboard as well, do you think if we get to port at 9:30am we'll have a good chance on securing vibe passes? Your description has sold me on them! I hope we cross paths, you guys are hysterical!

 

 

 

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[Shawnkat]

To all those sailing on August 20, why not join our Roll Call.

Can't wait to meet you all in 52 days. :)

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2146510

[cruiseguys2009]

We're going to be on the 8/20 Escape cruise as well and getting married onboard as well, do you think if we get to port at 9:30am we'll have a good chance on securing vibe passes? Your description has sold me on them! I hope we cross paths, you guys are hysterical!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

 

We too will be there at 9:30, that is if I can get out of the house on time this next trip and don't delay us because I have to Tinkle!

 

You should have no issues getting VIBE passes if you are at the terminal by 10AM and in one of the first groups. Not everyone is into spending an extra hundred bucks a person for VIBE. But if you have the drink package and enjoy a private atmosphere where you could curl up with a cocktail and a good book or perhaps enjoy other's company at the bar, VIBE is perfect!

 

By the way, congratulations on your wedding. Is it going to be a boy-girl, boy-boy, or girl-girl wedding? Pick one! We know of a boy-boy wedding on our cruise as well, just wondering if it was you two.

 

Looking forward to meeting you, and be prepared as we can get into some antics in VIBE.

[Nola26]

WHAT?!!? They stole the dude's hat?

 

I would get it as a joke and taking a picture with it on "ha ha ha" stuff. But then give the man his hat back!

 

Some people...

What the guy didn't say is it was his wife that took the hat because she was tired of seeing him in the ratty old thing. He finally bought a new one that she picked out and that she was right, a new hat was in order.

 

Totally made up by me of course, but I like that version rather than a hat stealer on NCL.

[LrgPizza]

What the guy didn't say is it was his wife that took the hat because she was tired of seeing him in the ratty old thing. He finally bought a new one that she picked out and that she was right, a new hat was in order.

 

Totally made up by me of course, but I like that version rather than a hat stealer on NCL.

 

Yeah, completely untrue. He said they even used security video and were able to identify her, but he insisted that he didn't want the ship to take action against the passenger. He said, "She must have felt that for some reason she needed my hat more than I did." He's a bigger person than I am. I'd have thrown the dumb bitch overboard.

 

My husband corrected me on a couple details of the story. She had grabbed it off his head and put it on hers. He asked for it back, and she refused, so another member of her party took it from her and set it on the bar. Clarence was mixing a drink at the time, and the same woman then grabbed it off the bar and ran with it. That was the last he saw it.

Edited June 29, 2016 by LrgPizza