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Night of the Living Drunks: Our 2017 Halloween cruise aboard the Carnival Dream!

watermelonqueen99

By watermelonqueen99,
in Carnival Cruise Lines

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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Sorry for the delay. Apparently the room stewards, chefs, and servers do not follow you home, and you must resume your normal daily life when you get back. Rude! Also, please forgive the lack of pictures in this post, as I didn't take a lot until we got to the port. Anyway, let's get started. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my review of the Carnival Dream:

 

Saturday, 10/28/17

Finally, our travel day had arrived. You may recall from my previous review, I'm not a fan of road trips. Just the thought of sitting in a car for more than a couple hours gives me hives, tremors, the bird flu, pink eye, and a host of other ailments. So the prospect of the 10-11+ hour drive to New Orleans had me near death. I searched diligently right up until a few days before we left for a good price on a flight to NOLA, but never found anything less than $1100. Excuse me, Southwest, but please have several seats, because that would pay for Cheers. There was just too much going on in New Orleans that weekend to get a good price: a Saints game, Halloween activities, music festivals, the nude clown convention (I made that one up). So when it became apparent that we would have to drive and I wouldn't be seeing my lover who goes by the street name Boeing 737, I was crushed. I did a dramatic slow-motion slide down the wall while Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" played in the background. It was heartbreaking to watch according to C. (He never said that.)

 

Originally, we had decided to leave on Friday and drive to Shreveport. Later we figured we'd just leave really early Saturday morning and make it all the way to New Orleans. Well, just like when I say I'm gonna quit drinking, it didn't happen. We overslept. C couldn't find his Passport, these 2 short people kept calling me "Mom" and needing things, I was missing a black bra, it was crazy. I also didn't have time to see my stylist before the cruise, so I did what every glamorous and beauty-conscious girl does: I ran to Wal-Mart and bought a box of dye and had C do it for me. So, I sat in the salon chair and got draped in one of those fancy capes (I sat at the dining room table with a raggedy, faded towel around me), and let my stylist make me gah-geous. (C could barely get the gloves that came with the dye to fit on his hands, my towel kept falling off, and the dye was damn near running into my eyes). I tried to get him to gossip with me like my real stylist does, but I guess he wasn't interested in whether or not Jennifer Aniston is pregnant. Pfft, whatever.

 

We ate a quick lunch at home, as I was saving up calories for the 6,786 Guy's Burgers and 87 gallons of booze I was planning on consuming. My mom came and got the kids, and we loaded the car. We had to make a quick Wal-Mart stop, and my lawd there were more people there than mullets at a Nascar race. I get cart rage very easily at Wal-Mart, so we quickly got what we needed and got out of there. Since I was missing a bra, we had to make another stop at an overpriced draws store so I could replace it. I was in gym clothes, flip flops, and as you may recall from my last review, I have naturally curly hair and had not straightened it yet, so basically I'm the "after" in this pic as I walked into a fancy store:

 

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I went in and got what I needed, came back out and complained to C for 10 minutes that $40 for a bra is too damn much. That's $20 per boob, which is just ridiculous. Men don't have to pay $20 per testicle for their draws, so I'm thinking about taking this to the supreme court, congress, the ACLU, something.

 

We finally got out of town around 2:30. I pouted for the first 30 minutes due to the lack of wings, turbine engines, and flight attendants. I opened the car door so that it would make that ding sound and asked C if he would bring me a diet coke and some peanuts, but he just rolled his eyes. Then I suggested we play the Oklahoma version of I spy. Everytime you see one of these things, you take a shot: a raggedy-ass car, a truck with a rebel flag on it, a cow, someone selling throw rugs with Elvis, Jesus, or a camo pattern on them (we own all 3), a crack-head, or a bale of hay. C shot me down saying that for one, he can't drink and drive and two, I would be drunk before we got to the next town. He was right, so I gave that idea up.

 

This was my view for the next couple hours as we made our way out of Oklahoma. It had a very "Texas Chainsaw" meets "Wrong Turn" vibe to it:

 

i-f5kqmJN-X2.jpg

 

We passed the time by listening to reruns of the Steve Harvey Morning Show, honking and waving at people like we knew them so that they'd spend the rest of the day trying to figure out who we were, and having deep conversations. Things like the best way to dispose of a body, how Kermit and Miss Piggy could never have kids because they're two different species, and why we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway.

 

Eventually, we passed through the town where our Alma Mater is. The place where we met, where it all began. The place we had our first date at McDonald's (we were classy even back then), then saw Titanic. (Irony? Fate? Foretelling?) We have a lot of memories there. I did some of my best underage drinking there. It's where I made a man of C. Good times.

 

We soon realized that as late as it was getting, we weren't gonna make it all the way to New Orleans. We decided that we would shoot for Alexandria. I told C to start calling me Michonne, and I would start calling him Rick. (If you don't understand that reference, we can't be friends.)

 

We finally made it to Texas a little after 5. We stopped in Jefferson to get gas, and leave it to me, I ended up locking our keys in our car. Half an hour and $65 later, we were back on the road.

 

We finally made it to our hotel in Alexandria around 9:45. We travel a lot for work and pleasure, and we're Diamond members with Wyndham. We're loyal to them, and there wasn't a lot of options in Alexandria. We wound up at a Baymont. It had mixed reviews, so I was a little worried. It turned out fine, though. We only have a few requirements: cold a/c, comfy bed, hot shower, clean, and it met those requirements. Here's some pics:

 

i-5Bhcrhq-X2.jpg

 

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C did a quick bed bug and pube check on the bed, we hopped in the shower, and then settled in and watched Halloween Wars on the Food Network. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was swimming in the Lido pool, but they had replaced the water with donkey sauce, and then Steve Harvey erroneously crowned me winner of the Hairy Chest Contest.

 

To be continued.......

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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Aww man, I can't see your Olympic picture and curiosity has the best of me what sport you did. I can't WAIT for your review. I love offensive sh_t.

 

Oh no, I hope you can see the rest of the pics! The pic is from the 1960's, and the women are wearing shirts that say "USA Drinking Team." :'):'):')

 

Thanks for reading!

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WaggesAZ

WaggesAZ

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Oh no, I hope you can see the rest of the pics! The pic is from the 1960's, and the women are wearing shirts that say "USA Drinking Team." :'):'):')

 

Thanks for reading!

 

I couldn't see it either, and I also can't see any of your new pics :o:eek: BTW I have not seen Walking Dead, but mostly because those crazy dreams you describe would be me (but worse and I am a sleep talker/according to DH it's actually yelling :')) so my DH would kill me if I was freaking out in my sleep from watching a show. I hope we're still able to be friends! LOL I love your writing style!

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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I couldn't see it either, and I also can't see any of your new pics :o:eek: BTW I have not seen Walking Dead, but mostly because those crazy dreams you describe would be me (but worse and I am a sleep talker/according to DH it's actually yelling :')) so my DH would kill me if I was freaking out in my sleep from watching a show. I hope we're still able to be friends! LOL I love your writing style!

 

Ugh, I'm not sure what the problem is with the pics. Maybe try clearing your cache?

 

 

And yes, we can still be friends. Lol Thanks for reading!

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RenoNanaOz

RenoNanaOz

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Loved your last review and am really enjoying this one as well, can't see photos though. I have always wanted to do a Halloween Cruise. We don't dress up at home, unless we go to a party. Last year our neighborhood hangout(bar) had one. I was a witch, I know very original. Hubs was a Cereal Killer, it was hilarious! I'll have to seriously start thinking about one. Can't wait to read more!

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E@syPe@zy

E@syPe@zy

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Ah....I was so hoping to be able to see your pics....but no go. But the story line is great!

We always drive to N.O. and it's a 12 hour drive...oh lord! Last time we stayed in Hattiesburg the night before the cruise and it worked out great. Although I prefer to spend the night in the Big Easy if I can get a comp at Harrahs :)

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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Loved your last review and am really enjoying this one as well, can't see photos though. I have always wanted to do a Halloween Cruise. We don't dress up at home, unless we go to a party. Last year our neighborhood hangout(bar) had one. I was a witch, I know very original. Hubs was a Cereal Killer, it was hilarious! I'll have to seriously start thinking about one. Can't wait to read more!

 

It was a blast! We've decided we're going to cruise every Halloween from now on. Sorry you can't see the pics, I'll work on it. Thanks for reading!

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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I can't see any of the photos either, but I'm enjoying the review. To the OP: if you use photobucket, be aware they've changed and now charge a fee for things previously free and also block some third party.

 

Thank you. Yeah, I'm not paying that much for PB to host my photos, so I'm using Smugmug. Working on figuring out what's wrong. Thanks for reading!

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watermelonqueen99

watermelonqueen99

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Ah....I was so hoping to be able to see your pics....but no go. But the story line is great!

We always drive to N.O. and it's a 12 hour drive...oh lord! Last time we stayed in Hattiesburg the night before the cruise and it worked out great. Although I prefer to spend the night in the Big Easy if I can get a comp at Harrahs :)

 

I'm working on the pic issue, thanks for reading! And yes, the drive is :eek::eek::eek:!

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