Custody question about traveling with children..

[Mommyof6]

I am granted residential parent and legal custodian of 2 of my kids (13 and 16) and no where in my divorce decree does it state I need permission to take my kids out of the state or country

. Ive been divorced over 10 years and my ex hasn't seen my kids or paid child support in that amount of time. Unfortunately his name is on their BC. Will they be fine since they are traveling with me and my husband or what would I have to do? We are going on our first cruise in Oct through Carnival.

[Canadianmama3]

The country you are going to will dictate what you need for the kids. The divorce decree doesn’t have to say you need permission. What they look for is that says you don’t need permission. If that’s not in there it’s usually assumed you need permission from the other parent.

 

Like I said it depends on the country you are going to and what their rules are. For example you would likely not be allowed to take your kids off the ship if you were visiting Canada without a signed letter, or court documents giving you permission to travel. Canada is strict. Not sure about other place.

 

I would ask your ex for a letter, or get something signed by a judge giving you permission in order to not be disappointed. The fact that he hasn’t paid support is not relevant.

 

 

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[Mommyof6]

We are going out of Miami, and stopping at San Juan, St Kitt, St. Maarteen, and Grand Turks. I don't even have a address for him, we've not heard from him in over 10years. I may contact a local lawyer. Thank you.

[wemjam]

Here is what I am going to tell you.

 

 

My husband and I traveled with both my step son (his biological child), and also my youngest brother (both under 13). We had a notarized letter from my step son's mother and also my mother (for my underage brother) indicating we had permission to leave the country and seek any medical attention as needed.

 

 

However, just because your divorce agreement doesn't say you can't leave the country means nothing. This is implied if you have any kind of mutual custody - unless permission is given. If your ex has any form of custody I believe by law you must have his permission to leave the country. I am not sure what exactly you mean by the forms of custody you say you have (I am used to joint/sole etc.).

 

 

Now, neither Carnival nor customs asked for any documentation from us on custody for my step son or brother but they could have! My step son, husband and I all have the same last name and we got him a passport so no way really they could have suspected he wasn't mine. By my brother had a birth certificate and none of us were listed on it lol! They did ask him "who we were to him" and he said "my sister and brother in law" so maybe that was good enough for them.

 

 

It would be really bad if you didn't have the approval and the ex decided to try to stick it to you... or in your case they were overly scrutinizing and you couldn't board and had problem with customs. I would clarify with your lawyer.

[Mommyof6]

I did look up for my state and in Ohio it states:

The parents have different names or titles: In a situation where one parent has “sole custody” of the child/children, that parent is designated as the “residential parent and legal custodian” and the other parent is designated as the “non-residential parent” or the “non-custodial parent”.

 

So if it states that's.. that would mean I have sole custody and should be ok right? I will still contact my lawyer (hes on vacation now).

[Canadianmama3]

I did look up for my state and in Ohio it states:

The parents have different names or titles: In a situation where one parent has “sole custody” of the child/children, that parent is designated as the “residential parent and legal custodian” and the other parent is designated as the “non-residential parent” or the “non-custodial parent”.

 

So if it states that's.. that would mean I have sole custody and should be ok right? I will still contact my lawyer (hes on vacation now).

 

 

 

It does not matter what your state laws are. What matters is what the country you are visiting requires. Like I said, you likely wouldn’t be allowed off the ship in Canada without a signed letter or court order that specifically states you may travel without permission.

 

You would likely be fine and not asked for anything. But it would destroy your vacation if your kids were not allowed to get off at port or worse get on the ship. There will be many people who tell you don’t worry that you won’t be asked for anything. I’ve travelled alone with my kids many times and it wasn’t until my last time crossing in the states that I was asked to show I was allowed to travel with them. I always carry proper paperwork with me. If I hadn’t we could have been denied entry and missed our cruise. That’s the first time I was asked. You just never know when they will.

 

It’s up to you but if it was me I would go and get an order asking a judge to giver you permission since you don’t know where your ex is.

 

 

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[Canadianmama3]

I meant to add that it should not be any problem getting a judge to sign off on travelling. Just show he hasn’t been involved and you don’t know where he is. It’s really just a matter of paperwork. I know it’s a pain (I’ve been there done that). But it’s better then the stress of being questioned at the port.

 

 

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[loxley]

You will not need anything beyond their boarding papers. Birth certificate or passport and a photo I'd for the 16 to old if he doesn't have a passport.

 

The parental letter if it were needed, which it is not, is only for Mexico.

On a cruise you are in tranit. There fore no letter is needed.

 

You are probably going to get a few scare stories but in all my years here there had never been any report of anyone being denied boarding. On some cruise lines, they require the letter. Carnival does not.

 

And if it is not required, it is not required.

 

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[GradUT]

If you have had no contact with the father in 10 years, have you considered bringing suit to terminate the parental rights of the father? Then there would no question in the future as to custodial issues (and your husband could adopt the children if that’s what you all want.)

[Mommyof6]

If you have had no contact with the father in 10 years, have you considered bringing suit to terminate the parental rights of the father? Then there would no question in the future as to custodial issues (and your husband could adopt the children if that’s what you all want.)

 

We are setting up a meeting to meet with a lawyer about my husband adopting them! Praying it would be done before Oct if possible.

[sydsmom2034]

I traveled with my daughter all over Europe and I always took her passport, birth certificate and my divorce decree where it stated that I had "Sole physical custody" of this child. It also said my ex didn't get visitation (He was considered a flight risk because he was Jamaican and had family there) In all that time (10 years) no one ever asked. Then I tried to go to Canada. They read my ENTIRE divorce decree (part about custody was on page one) I finally said, I don't think the part about which car we each got was really important. Guy started laughing and let us in the country:)

[AD5ZA]

See an attorney. While what you read here may be correct, don't rely on that info and have a problem on the cruise. My advice, get your children a passport. Lots cheaper than an attorney.

 

 

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[torcruise]

you will be fine as long as your on the birth certificate . I travel without my husband all the time. No questions asked

[Canadianmama3]

you will be fine as long as your on the birth certificate . I travel without my husband all the time. No questions asked

 

 

 

Just because you’ve never had a problem doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a signed letter. As I said I’ve travelled many times alone with my kids (always had documents) and it was this last time that I was asked for them.

 

OP if you guys are going with an adoption and meeting with lawyers and dealing with the court anyways then it shouldn’t be a big deal to get something signed by a judge. Mention the trip to your lawyer and ask if they don’t think the adoption will be done, if you can get an order for travel. It’s really not a big deal, I know cause I’ve gone through it.

 

And yes you will have lots of posters like this one who tell you not to worry cause they’ve never been asked. But they will be the first ones on here complaining if they were told their kids can’t get off the ship in port.

 

 

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[LMaxwell]

you will be fine as long as your on the birth certificate . I travel without my husband all the time. No questions asked

Bad advice

[loxley]

I traveled with my daughter all over Europe and I always took her passport, birth certificate and my divorce decree where it stated that I had "Sole physical custody" of this child. It also said my ex didn't get visitation (He was considered a flight risk because he was Jamaican and had family there) In all that time (10 years) no one ever asked. Then I tried to go to Canada. They read my ENTIRE divorce decree (part about custody was on page one) I finally said, I don't think the part about which car we each got was really important. Guy started laughing and let us in the country:)

The op is not going to Europe or Canada.

 

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[klfrodo]

Fortunately you have Torcruise and Loxley to guarantee any and all lost monies should their advice be mistaken.

 

I flew my daughter out here to Washington from Missouri a few years back. Pre 9/11. Got to the Canadian border for a day visit and was refused entry due to her mother not being with us.

 

The purpose of the scrutiny is to stop child abduction. Can you only imagine how you would feel if one of your kids ended up back in Jamaica with their dad without your knowledge or permission.

 

Get the paperwork from the court.

[Cafedumonde]

I am not divorced but have traveled solo with the kids out of country multiple times no issues. Caribbean or Europe, they never asked where is dad when looking at the kids' passports. I have heard however as a previous poster said that Canada is weird about kids traveling with one parent or relatives.

[Ehpride]

If you already have a lawyer for the adoption, I would ask them to be honest. You don't want to risk your vacation by not knowing and not getting the right answer.

[YoHoHo]

I am not divorced but have traveled solo with the kids out of country multiple times no issues. Caribbean or Europe, they never asked where is dad when looking at the kids' passports. I have heard however as a previous poster said that Canada is weird about kids traveling with one parent or relatives.

Hmmm... protecting a child and custodial rights is weird??? Strict maybe but I don't think it is weird

[cmichael1279]

I took my nephew on a trip last year and we had a customs agent who was in training... Needless to say, we were asked every question you could possibly think of and they wanted every form of documentation possible. A few months later with my niece, they didn't even look at her birth certificate. I'd be prepared for anything, so the trip doesn't get ruined!

 

I'd strongly suggest passports too, definitely makes things easier!

[torcruise]

Fortunately you have Torcruise and Loxley to guarantee any and all lost monies should their advice be mistaken.

 

I flew my daughter out here to Washington from Missouri a few years back. Pre 9/11. Got to the Canadian border for a day visit and was refused entry due to her mother not being with us.

 

The purpose of the scrutiny is to stop child abduction. Can you only imagine how you would feel if one of your kids ended up back in Jamaica with their dad without your knowledge or permission.

 

Get the paperwork from the court.

 

OP is not going to Canada nor is she flying

[sydsmom2034]

The op is not going to Europe or Canada.

 

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I also traveled to the caribbean, in fact same ports as OP. I'm just saying, I would rather bring extra proof than get stopped and not let my child on the ship, or plane, or whatever.

[Julienatul]

If you can get a notarized letter from your ex great, if not it will most likely be ok. My ex and I are divorced and we sail all the time with our kids separately ( 4 cruises per year between the two of us). In fact, he is on one now with them. Out of the last 16 cruises, we have never been asked for the paperwork or divorce decree. That is not to say it will never happen just that they usually do not ask. My last name is the same as my kids and so is his so that usually does not flag anything.

[Muumuu]

Our family are all cruise addicts. When granddaughter was born and her first 4 years every time we booked a cruise the bio would close to sail date go back on his permission for her to sail with mother. We cancelled 4 cruises. Finally at the second to last custody hearing seeing what the bio had been doing every time, the judge included in the court order that he could not interfere with any domestic or international travel in any way.