Semi-live review of Anthem 4/23 sailing (ALL TEXT NO PICTURES EWWWWWW!!)

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

I scored a relatively last minute studio balcony a few weeks ago for the Anthem's 8-day Bahamas run out of Bayonne, NJ. I cruise solo, so these studio balconies with no supplement are a real treat if you can grab one. 

 

I'm hunkered down in Manhattan hotel riding out tonight's thunderstorms. 

 

I'll try to keep up with some updates along the way. Happy to answer questions. 

[Cherful59]

Oh, good one.  Enjoy your cruise.

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

7 minutes ago, Cherful59 said:

Oh, good one.  Enjoy your cruise.

Thanks. Hope you're not looking for pictures because there will be NONE. ALL TEXT. HORRIBLE I KNOW. 

[Cherful59]

2 minutes ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

Thanks. Hope you're not looking for pictures because there will be NONE. ALL TEXT. HORRIBLE I KNOW. 

No worries.  I sailed on Anthem November 2021.  My first cruise after the restart and Anthem’s returned from England.  My sister and I got a real good price on a balcony which we thoroughly enjoyed it.  

[Another_Critic]

Will be sailing on Anthem for the 7th time when you get off ... taking her across the pond for the 3rd time.  

[Tin can]

It will be good to follow along, we were on the 4/2/23 sailing and had a great time.

[adolfo2]

I don't care (such a waste of space) BUT is the Bionic Bar still closed? It was KO for all 11-days on our January Anthem cruise.

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

I'm aboard ship. 

 

I started the trip to NJ with encouraging pattern. First I got bumped up to a hotel suite bigger than my old Harlem apartment, and then for some reason the car service I lined up sent a giant Suburban for 1 person (me) instead of the standard economy I'd booked. I arrived at the terminal with high hopes for a third surprise...or maybe it would break the other way and I'd have a surprise roommate in my studio balcony cabin. 

 

Lucky me, my good karma continued. I got to the terminal at 10:30 and just strolled right in, no lines no waits. At the check-in desk, the nice scarf-wearing lady directed me to the suites entrance instead of the larger waiting area near that big Willy Wonka-esque door they dramatically open when the ship is ready. 

 

Not sure if I was the subject of kindness or incompetence (and not wanting to get turned around later with all my luggage), I summoned all my 1950's-style Boy Scout honesty and said "Ma'am...I don't have a suite." She just smiled and said, "It's okay it all goes to the same place." Well I gave her two tries, so at that point if anyone held me up later felt justified throwing her under the bus hard...so off I went. 

 

No issues at all, and I continued waltzing right along and boarded a nearly empty ship. I immediately found an empty chair, connected to ship WiFi and got all my dining for the week booked via the app (DID I MENTION THAT I'M AN F'ING PRO). Strolled around for a bit, and headed to Jamie's for lunch at 11:30 to start making damn sure my unlimited dining package pulls its weight. 

 

I started with the "garlicky prawns" and burrata. If you're hoping for pictures of either you'll be disappointed, because there are NO PICTURES INCLUDED IN THIS REVIEW. ALL TEXT. GROSS!

 

The burrata was good. The first word that comes to mind to literally shoveling straight cheese into your face probably isn't "refreshing" but but's how this dish came across, lightened up by a perfect lift of olive oil and fresh tomatoes and bitter greens to cut against the richness of the cheese, along with some paper thin crispy Italian nacho crackers-esque things. 

 

I put "garlicky prawns" in quotes because the use of the word "prawn" on the menu here is someone...ambitious. These are the same cocktail shrimp you get by the 3 in the little silver cup in the MDR. Not complaining, they were well-gutted and clean, but prawns they were not. The sauce also struck me as very watery. Maybe I should have ordered some garlic bread to soak it up, but otherwise the "garlicky prawns" would more accurately be described as "watery cocktail shrimp with red pepper flakes." 

 

For the main I got the burger. The sort of Big Mac-esque topping was quote good, but sadly the waiter insisted they cook their burgers to a mandatory medium-well. Mine came out pretty gray and solid, so despite the nicely toasted bun and nice presentation the burger was okay, not great. OH WELL I GUESS MY GOOD LUCK FINALLY DID RUN OUT. 

 

A bit later the rooms opened, I went to my studio. First time in one of those. It's small, but I'm a longtime NCL guy, and honestly the room isn't THAT much tinier than the balcony rooms on the Jewel-class ships. 

 

We'll be pulling away from the pier any minute. 

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

Back from dinner at Chopped. A few updates. 

 

The snugness of the room grows more apparent as it's initial adorable impression wears off. Totally comfortable/doable for me, but a change for sure. 

 

I saw my stateroom attendant and waved hello. The response of "I'll talk to you later" had a decidedly preemptive tone. I didn't have any immediate requests, and I know the recent changes have been absolute hell on the stewards. That said, I never saw him again for the rest of the day.

 

Around the room slid some wadded up paper into the dividers to knock out the rattling noise (did I mention I'm a pro), and cleaned off the balcony glass. Now this is something I noticed even pre-covid when I sailed NCL. Previously on turnaround day the stewards would take squigies on long sticks and wipe all the salt buildup off the glass, but that seems to be a thing of the past and my balcony was crustier than a middle schooler's pinkeye. 

 

That's where the kickass little hot water kettles on the Anthem come in handy. Anthem spends half the year in the UK, and apparently if British people don't get multiple cups of hot tea into themselves every day they die, so all the Anthem cabins have kettles (even a lowly studio balcony), unlike on the Oasis. 

 

To really clean the glass, you need to boil water and pour it over a towel, so the towel is hot enough to actually dissolve the salt. If you just use warm or cold water from the sink all you'll do is smear the salt around. Did I mention I'm a pro? 

 

For dinner headed to Chopped. Crab cake and bacon for starters.

 

Nothing "lump" about the crab cake and the meat itself seemed canned, so it had more of a croquette/hockey puck-inspired presentation, but at least it was mostly crab instead of bread and the accompanying spicy mayo/corn combo kicks up the crab nicely. 

 

The bacon was very gooey. I know pork belly is fatty, but this really was just straight up fat. Not untasty, but VERY unctuous. I really like the barbecue sauce they use on this, but next time I'm going to ask for it to be grilled more. This almost seemed steamed.

 

Petit filet and jumbo shrimp for mains. Filet cooked a nice medium but was totally bland. No detectable seasoning at all, even salt or pepper. The port wine sauce has a velvety, almost chocolaty deepness that helped fill in a lot of the missing flavor in the meat. 

 

The shrimp were indeed jumbo, but I think they forgot the garlic butter? These just looked like fried shrimp over surprisingly creamy mashed potatoes, but with none of the scampi-esque chili-infused garlic oil sloshing around. It was actually pretty dry. Again not untasty, I still ate it, but something else to mention next time. 

 

Back to my little studio feeling like there's food backed up to my throat and ready to turn in. It's a balmy 60 degrees outside. Looking forward to tomorrow's sea day. 

[Merion_Mom]

I am enjoying your review WITHOUT PICTURES ALL TEXT.  😄 

 

It's Chops.  😉 

 

I had one of those studio cabins back in 2014 when Quantum debuted in New Jersey.  "Cozy" is what real estate agents call really really really really small homes.  Nowhere to sit but the bed.  (I call that thing at the vanity a "tuffet", as in Little Miss Muffet).  Eventually, I brought in the chair from the balcony to have somewhere to sit.  Just a suggestion.  😉 

[SheTaps]

On 4/23/2023 at 8:45 AM, adolfo2 said:

I don't care (such a waste of space) BUT is the Bionic Bar still closed? It was KO for all 11-days on our January Anthem cruise.

 

Bionic Bar was open for the 4/16 sailing.

[Tin can]

17 hours ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

Anthem spends half the year in the UK, and apparently if British people don't get multiple cups of hot tea into themselves every day they die, so all the Anthem cabins have kettles (even a lowly studio balcony), unlike on the Oasis. 

 

 

😀 tea usually first thing in the morning only on a cruise for us Brits. After that its 5pm somewhere for most of us 🍹🍻.

 

Great review so far! 

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

I decided I wasn't getting enough praise or encouragement for my semi-live review, probably because you were so thoroughly unenthused by the complete LACK OF PICTURES in this review, so I've downgraded the effort to essentially a wrap-up post on night 7 of 8.

 

Some thoughts (TEXT ONLY) in no particular order...

 

- Anthem - The ship is clean, but soulless. Her sleek exterior lines cover up the heart of a late 90's shopping mall. I get the Anthem was designed for cooler temperatures, and it shows. The ship totally lacks the inviting, generous feminine warmness that the Oasis class exudes, and aside from the top deck you do feel very disconnected from the water besides the Solarium. 

 

- Solarium - The Solarium sucks. It has all the charm of an indoor pool at a cheap hotel combined with being stuck in a hot car with the windows rolled up. The open-air Solarium on the Oasis is far superior. The gross muggy indoor vibe also extended to the indoor pool, which for some reason they kept indoors without opening the roof despite very warm temps. I guess I just don't dig cold weather ships. 

 

- Starlink Internet - I successfully streamed a wide variety of pornography without difficulty. 

 

- Chopping - I ate most of my meals here thanks to the unlimited dining package. The food was for the most part well-presented and cooked well temperature-wise, but everything was bbbbllllllaaaaannd. Does this have something to do with the ship spending half the year in the UK? Literally nothing was seasoned. No salt, no pepper, nothing. The sauces helped some (the red wine sauce was very good), and the branzino and salmon were actually surprisingly tasty. 

 

- Studio - It's VERY small. I keep a compact footprint in a cabin compared to most people, and it took some getting used to for me. I've grown to really like it, and it would be the only reason I'd ever sail on a Quantum class ship. It really is basically like a balcony cabin on a Jewel-class NCL ship minus the couch, and with a smaller bed. 

 

Okay that's all for now. You're probably exhausted by not having everything SHOWN TO YOU. Maybe more to come. 

[PistolPete13]

Coming in late to this review and it seems like you're just warming up!  NCL cruiser here and very curious about the RCL trips from Bayonne.

I'm going to break your rule of no photos by adding two of the ship that I took as I was walking to my lookout spot under the Verrazano Bridge on Sunday 4/23.  While the NCL ships are always late leaving NY, you can set your watch with RCL departures and I was late this time!

Hopefully you get a dry window for arrival tomorrow.  It's been raining like crazy here today and more on the way tomorrow.
 

Edited April 30, 2023 by PistolPete13

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

Royal doesn't have to navigate the traffic of the Hudson River like Norwegian does. They literally just pull out make a quick right and you're under the bridge. It does make for a less dramatic sailaway, and getting to/from Bayonne to the city is a ***** without paying for a car service.

 

I wish I were still sailing Norwegian, but they decided to totally bag any 7-day Bahamas itineraries out of NYC. I'm not really into Bermuda, so I guess they made a Royal customer out of me. 

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

Well I'm off the ship, so I'll post a few more scattershot thoughts - even though they'll likely be ignored given the TOTAL LACK OF PICTURES, since apparently you people can't be bothered unless you're getting a friggin' Ken Burns documentary on a cruise. 

 

Disembarkation - I left my cabin at 6:45 and slammed into a gnarly looking line feet off the staircase. Once the line began moving it kept up a fairly swift pace. I was outside looking for my ride by 7:10. 

 

Cabin steward - He seemed stressed as hell. I tend to not like someone else constantly up in my room during a cruise, so I often only ask for service once every 2/3 days for some fresh towels. I didn't feel much difference from the downgrade, but the poor guy seemed pretty frayed. I also noticed stewards working around 8 and later, so maybe that's a change from reports of them packing up the carts by 6? 

 

Windjamming's - I actually few to like the buffet. I'm generally pretty grossed out by most people on board, so I had the unlimited dining package to eat with others who in theory also cared about keeping the light of civilization aflame and avoiding the dark Hobbesian state of nature hellscape that is the buffet. However like a tourist on safari in a Landrover I still wanted to make occasional trips through the buffet (and pool deck) to gawk at the wildlife...but the food was pretty tasty. I think I'd skip the package next time, at least on the Anthem. See my earlier posts about Chopper's being bland. 

 

Jamieson's Eatery - They actually used seasoning! Their lamb chops were much tastier- and you got twice the portion. Burrata and bruschetta were both very tasty. I immediately knew to be suspect of the calamari when it arrived with no tentacles visible. This was "white girl" calamari, and while fried nicely at that point you may as well just be eating breading.

 

The atmosphere at Jimminy's was horrible though. I'm not saying we have to play Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma on loop, but this is supposed to be an Italian joint, right? How does playing top 50 radio hits from the 1980's help with that? 

 

Both places had SLOWWWWW service. I don't understand why Royal Maitre D's usually seat you personally. Sometimes I see them filling water. That inevitably backs up the line at the podium. NCL seems to have it right, where the Maitre D acts like a taxi dispatcher and assigns you out to a waiter who seats you. 

 

Izumi - This was a little quicker. If you're into sushi, I think the pro tip with the dining package is to order two rolls a la carte. They'll come full size, as opposed to half size if you get prix fix - and you can still squeeze in some mochi ice cream under the $ limit depending on what you get. I'd have rather had double the sushi than the crappy little appetizer. 

 

Dirty stacks - Anthem seems to cough up a lot of junk. On either side adjacent of the main stacks, depending on the wind that day, you'd see a thick black coating of ash. After a quick rain shower it was slick and black all over, and the lounge chairs in the vicinity were filthy. Some of the chunks were the size of capers. I know all ships burn fuel, but this was the most I'd noticed on any ship I'd been on and far more than on the Anthem herself back in 2021. 

 

Okay that's probably enough. I don't know. It's not my fault you all can't be troubled to use your MIND'S EYE for a few minutes. 

 

 

[The Fun Researcher]

Loved your fun and snarky writing style!  Thanks for the review.  We had an amazing time on the Anthem out of Bayonne mid/late March.

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

11 hours ago, The Fun Researcher said:

Loved your fun and snarky writing style!  Thanks for the review.  We had an amazing time on the Anthem out of Bayonne mid/late March.

Apparently nobody else did. 

 

Sorry I couldn't please you people with a picture of the snails for the 8,000th time. 

[rafinmd]

Thank you.  Your impressions largely were very much like mine.  I tend to be a small ship person but actually preferred Allure to the Quantum class.

 

Roy

[teddie]

12 hours ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

Apparently nobody else did. 

 

Sorry I couldn't please you people with a picture of the snails for the 8,000th time. 

I loved every word.  (Note to self: do not EVER correct LOB55).

Teddie

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

6 hours ago, rafinmd said:

Thank you.  Your impressions largely were very much like mine.  I tend to be a small ship person but actually preferred Allure to the Quantum class.

 

Roy

100%. The Oasis class is curvy, inviting, maternal and generous. 

 

The Quantum class is frigid, vapid, pedestrian and decidedly un-nautical. And seriously, the Solarium sucks. Why does everyone always go on and on about how great the Solarium is on Quantum ships? It sucks. 

 

Maybe it's all in a class name. Oasis evokes images of just that...an inviting pleasurable oasis. "Quantum" brings to mind...a fundamentally indivisible amount of something? 

[The Fun Researcher]

2 hours ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

100%. The Oasis class is curvy, inviting, maternal and generous. 

 

The Quantum class is frigid, vapid, pedestrian and decidedly un-nautical. And seriously, the Solarium sucks. Why does everyone always go on and on about how great the Solarium is on Quantum ships? It sucks. 

 

Maybe it's all in a class name. Oasis evokes images of just that...an inviting pleasurable oasis. "Quantum" brings to mind...a fundamentally indivisible amount of something? 

I enjoy both solariums equally. I did not notice a major difference between the two. What was so negative about the Quantum class solarium?

[LoungerOnBalcony55]

1 hour ago, The Fun Researcher said:

I enjoy both solariums equally. I did not notice a major difference between the two. What was so negative about the Quantum class solarium?

It's fully enclosed (except for the little observation wings). Oasis is mostly open-air. 

[teddie]

3 hours ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

100%. The Oasis class is curvy, inviting, maternal and generous. 

 

The Quantum class is frigid, vapid, pedestrian and decidedly un-nautical. And seriously, the Solarium sucks. Why does everyone always go on and on about how great the Solarium is on Quantum ships? It sucks. 

 

Maybe it's all in a class name. Oasis evokes images of just that...an inviting pleasurable oasis. "Quantum" brings to mind...a fundamentally indivisible amount of something? 

When you depart Bayonne NJ in early February and it’s 10 degrees out, the enclosed solarium is kinda fabulous. Just sayin’. 
 

Teddie 

[The Fun Researcher]

3 hours ago, LoungerOnBalcony55 said:

It's fully enclosed (except for the little observation wings). Oasis is mostly open-air. 

That was a win for us. When we got on the ship in March it was in the 30s. Open air would’ve been horrendous.  It did not warm up until we got to port Canaveral two days later. It was very cold the last sea day back and it would have been terrible in a solarium with open air.

 

A fresh breeze in the solarium is nice, but it has to be cruising from someplace warm