Do you dress to Impress?

[calliopecruiser]

I'm still not buying your argument :) Look at all the shows on tv that take women who say the very same thing as you do and still take whatever clothes they can find and make themelves look presentable.

 

A big problem I see (not saying this is you) is that many large women who can't find good clothes that fit make the mistake of buying clothes that make them look even bigger..mostly in terms of buying certain patterns (horizontal stripes dont look good on anyone in my opinion) or wear their clothes too baggy, hence making them look bigger.

 

Regardless of size or shape, everyone can make themselves look presentable with what they have. Even if it's just ironing your clothes!

 

Please don't be fooled by those "reality" tv shows: they choose their "subjects" carefully, and they have lots of money and wardrobe engineers to work magic behind the scenes. And I didn't say anything about looking "presentable"......finding "presentable" clothes is easy, but finding flattering clothes is a different matter. You'll also notice I didn't say it is all about size, or only about large size - it's about sizes that aren't standard, so tiny women have similar problems. And even more, it's about shape and proportions - people get stuck on the overweight or "large" idea, but it's not about being overweight (or underweight, or normal weight), it's the shape that weight comes in. For example, long legs, wide hips, long torsos, broad shoulders, large breasts, short arms - they're all shapes that can make clothes hard to fit properly but have nothing to do with being "large" or overweight.

[Gunner22aa]

NEVER. Dress for comfort. Now does what I wear impress the only person that really counts, my wife, yes. Yes because short of jeans and my hunting clothing she buys just about everything I wear. My taste in clothing would fit right in on Duck Dynasty but apparently not so well on vacation.

[cruisemom42]

So nice that this thread has made a comeback. :rolleyes:

 

The head of the division where I work (a very large global company) is a woman who happens to be the same age as me. She is a brilliant award-winning scientist, a great manager and motivator, and also is married and has three kids ranging in age from university to elementary school. I admire her greatly.

 

The men who report to her -- and some of her peers -- have been heard making fun of her clothing, something that is obviously low on the priority list for her. It infuriates me. If it was a man in her position, you'd hear nothing of the sort. (And before anyone suggests it, she is not out representing the company in the larger world, nor is she dressed in a wildly inappropriate way; she just doesn't spend time thinking about clothing, makeup, hair, etc.)

 

Why is this still a big deal in the 21st century, and why are women judged by a different standard than men?

Edited January 17, 2013 by cruisemom42

[ducklite]

So nice that this thread has made a comeback. :rolleyes:

 

The head of the division where I work (a very large global company) is a woman who happens to be the same age as me. She is a brilliant award-winning scientist, a great manager and motivator, and also is married and has three kids ranging in age from university to elementary school. I admire her greatly.

 

The men who report to her -- and some of her peers -- have been heard making fun of her clothing, something that is obviously low on the priority list for her. It infuriates me. If it was a man in her position, you'd hear nothing of the sort. (And before anyone suggests it, she is not out representing the company in the larger world, nor is she dressed in a wildly inappropriate way; she just doesn't spend time thinking about clothing, makeup, hair, etc.)

 

Why is this still a big deal in the 21st century, and why are women judged by a different standard than men?

 

They aren't. I worked for a large global company and men who "dressed the part" were the ones who see the promotions and pay increases.

 

The guys who didn't have good hygiene and attire never got promoted past a certain level, regardless of their abilities. They didn't need to be Armani suits, but regular haircuts and hair combed; well trimmed facial hair or clean shaven; decent clothing without rips, stains, or odor that was of good quality and well fitting; polished shoes, well groomed nails (didn't need a manicure but kept them clipped and clean), these things counted. The guys who showed up to work unshaven and who were always in need of a haircut with a stained shirt that looked like it had been slept in for three nights, pants with worn knees, and shoes that hadn't been polished in four years were dead in the water as far as their career went. After a certain pay band, the suits needed to be of a very good cut and fabric--something off the rack from Target wasn't going to work.

 

If you can't take some basic pride in your appearance, how do you take pride in anything else in your life?

 

It doesn't take a lot of time or money to get a simple haircut and brush your hair or pull it back into a something at least a little tame. It's not that difficult to have a basic wardrobe of clothing from someplace like JC Penney's or Kohls and actually put an iron to things now and then. (I could pull together a work wardrobe from either of those stores with three pants, two skirts, seven tops, one jacket, two pair of shoes and some fashion jewelry for under $500--without sales.) I don't believe that woman should feel obligated to wear makeup, but a little lip gloss and mascara takes one minute and makes a world of difference.

Edited January 17, 2013 by ducklite

[calliopecruiser]

I don't believe that woman should feel obligated to wear makeup, but a little lip gloss and mascara takes one minute and makes a world of difference.

 

LOL! Don't be obligated, but there's no reason why you shouldn't. LOL!

 

Women are still held to a different standard than women. What is acceptable for men (clean, haircut, clean pressed clothes) is unacceptable for women, and the extras that women have to go through to be at that same level of acceptance (not promotion, not admiration, but mere acceptance) is more than is expected of men. Seriously - how much flack did the US Secretary of State get from people because she wore her clean hair neatly in a pony tail and didn't have it done more fashionably? Or because she didn't wear full makeup? You call that an equal standard? The Secretary of State for gawds sake?!?

 

Women are still expected to dance backwards and in high heels to get noticed - twice the work for half the recognition.

[cruisemom42]

They aren't. I worked for a large global company and men who "dressed the part" were the ones who see the promotions and pay increases.

 

The guys who didn't have good hygiene and attire never got promoted past a certain level, regardless of their abilities. They didn't need to be Armani suits, but regular haircuts and hair combed; well trimmed facial hair or clean shaven; decent clothing without rips, stains, or odor that was of good quality and well fitting; polished shoes, well groomed nails (didn't need a manicure but kept them clipped and clean), these things counted. The guys who showed up to work unshaven and who were always in need of a haircut with a stained shirt that looked like it had been slept in for three nights, pants with worn knees, and shoes that hadn't been polished in four years were dead in the water as far as their career went. After a certain pay band, the suits needed to be of a very good cut and fabric--something off the rack from Target wasn't going to work.

 

If you can't take some basic pride in your appearance, how do you take pride in anything else in your life?

 

It doesn't take a lot of time or money to get a simple haircut and brush your hair or pull it back into a something at least a little tame. It's not that difficult to have a basic wardrobe of clothing from someplace like JC Penney's or Kohls and actually put an iron to things now and then. (I could pull together a work wardrobe from either of those stores with three pants, two skirts, seven tops, one jacket, two pair of shoes and some fashion jewelry for under $500--without sales.) I don't believe that woman should feel obligated to wear makeup, but a little lip gloss and mascara takes one minute and makes a world of difference.

 

I think you're missing my finer point. In my mind, the OP is differentiating between meeting some very basic standards (clothes that are clean and not inappropriate) and "dressing to impress". I agree with the former but not with the latter.

 

The scenario you give is not the case at my company, which despite being a commercial enterprise retains a certain air of academia (you know, threadbare tweed jackets, ill-fitting khaki pants). The previous incumbent (a man) was no better, yet I never heard his choice of clothing criticized. Instead he was lauded as an innovator, a genius, etc. The woman currently in the role is ten times better -- so perhaps the only thing her male reports/counterparts can find to criticize is her choice of clothing. :rolleyes:

 

I am not talking about someone unwashed, unshaven or wearing dirty, ripped clothing. I'm talking about someone who grabs whatever clean clothing is to hand and barely remembers to drag a comb through her hair because her mind is on things like discovering new cancer and diabetes treatments. She is 150% committed to her job and to making the world a better place. What do I care whether her suit comes from Penney's or from Barney's, or if she wears the same skirt twice in a given week? Or if men find her (really short) haircut unflattering? I'd rather my division be in her hands than anyone else's I can think of!

 

I confess that I don't understand your statement that if someone can't take pride in their appearance that they can't take pride in anything else in life? Why single out appearance? As I've said before, I always dress appropriately and spend a fair amount on my "upkeep" -- but I do not consider that I "take pride" in my appearance. It is a means to an end only. I'd much rather people felt I take pride in my work, or in how I raised my son, than in my appearance.

[ducklite]

I think you're missing my finer point. In my mind, the OP is differentiating between meeting some very basic standards (clothes that are clean and not inappropriate) and "dressing to impress". I agree with the former but not with the latter.

 

The scenario you give is not the case at my company, which despite being a commercial enterprise retains a certain air of academia (you know, threadbare tweed jackets, ill-fitting khaki pants). The previous incumbent (a man) was no better, yet I never heard his choice of clothing criticized. Instead he was lauded as an innovator, a genius, etc. The woman currently in the role is ten times better -- so perhaps the only thing her male reports/counterparts can find to criticize is her choice of clothing. :rolleyes:

 

I am not talking about someone unwashed, unshaven or wearing dirty, ripped clothing. I'm talking about someone who grabs whatever clean clothing is to hand and barely remembers to drag a comb through her hair because her mind is on things like discovering new cancer and diabetes treatments. She is 150% committed to her job and to making the world a better place. What do I care whether her suit comes from Penney's or from Barney's, or if she wears the same skirt twice in a given week? Or if men find her (really short) haircut unflattering? I'd rather my division be in her hands than anyone else's I can think of!

 

I confess that I don't understand your statement that if someone can't take pride in their appearance that they can't take pride in anything else in life? Why single out appearance? As I've said before, I always dress appropriately and spend a fair amount on my "upkeep" -- but I do not consider that I "take pride" in my appearance. It is a means to an end only. I'd much rather people felt I take pride in my work, or in how I raised my son, than in my appearance.

 

I think that the care you take in your appearance reflects onto the rest of you life. I'm not saying that people need to be dressed in Armani with $200 hair cuts, but if someone--regardless of gender--can't be bothered to have a clean, neat (including hair), presentable look, I'm going to have a hard time finding leadership qualities in them. Lead by example, and part of that example is having some self-respect in the way one presents themselves to the world.

 

That said, if her hair is short--who cares? As long as it's a good cut and she takes a comb to it each morning, so be it. I love Jamie Lee Curtis' short do, but it's always in place--she keeps it trimmed and combed. If she didn't get her hair cut every 3-4 weeks it would look terrible. If she wears a skirt twice in a week--so what, as long as it's clean. But if her clothing looks like it came out of the Salvation Army $.25 cent bin, has never seen an iron, and is completely mismatched, well, it's hard to take someone who obviously couldn't be bothered to spend five minutes making themselves presentable in the morning seriously. Male or female.

 

In many companies, once you reach a certain level in management, you are expected to elevate your wardrobe respectively. It is noticed, and it can be a career stopper. I'm not saying that it's right or wrong--although in some companies where they sell "luxury" it's certainly understandable. You wouldn't expect the CEO of Tiffany & Co to wear a suit fresh off the rack from WalMart. You'd expect the bespoke look of a perfectly tailored suit of the finest wool, custom shirt with cuff links, and a perfectly knotted silk tie.

Edited January 17, 2013 by ducklite

[leftisport]

Thank you for posting your travel list. I am impressed that you got everything to fit. We are off to Europe this summer on a tour then cruise. I will try your system.

[ducklite]

LOL! Don't be obligated, but there's no reason why you shouldn't. LOL!

 

Women are still held to a different standard than women. What is acceptable for men (clean, haircut, clean pressed clothes) is unacceptable for women, and the extras that women have to go through to be at that same level of acceptance (not promotion, not admiration, but mere acceptance) is more than is expected of men. Seriously - how much flack did the US Secretary of State get from people because she wore her clean hair neatly in a pony tail and didn't have it done more fashionably? Or because she didn't wear full makeup? You call that an equal standard? The Secretary of State for gawds sake?!?

 

Women are still expected to dance backwards and in high heels to get noticed - twice the work for half the recognition.

 

A woman who doesn't at least put on a little clear lip gloss is no different than a guy who can't be bothered shaving or trimming their facial hair. Personally I think Hillary looks terrible with her hair long. Her lack of make up doesn't bother me (although as I said, a little clear lip gloss goes a long way--and keeps your lips nice and soft) but her straggly long hair adds year and is simply not a becoming style for her--straight down or in the pony tail.

Edited January 17, 2013 by ducklite

[Laurie S.]

I never wear lip gloss, either with makeup or by itself. I rarely wear lipstick, but will for special occasions, such as dinner on a cruise. When I'm in San Carlos in the summer, I never wear makeup because it's too hot. And, I look just fine without it.

[calliopecruiser]

A woman who doesn't at least put on a little clear lip gloss is no different than a guy who can't be bothered shaving or trimming their facial hair. Personally I think Hillary looks terrible with her hair long. Her lack of make up doesn't bother me (although as I said, a little clear lip gloss goes a long way--and keeps your lips nice and soft) but her straggly long hair adds year and is simply not a becoming style for her--straight down or in the pony tail.

 

What does it matter if Hillary looks terrible? What difference does it make if she's an attractive or unattractive woman? Why should it matter if she wears a becoming hairstyle or a fashionable sunglasses? That's the part that astounds me. No one cared if Kissinger looked terrible or if Christopher had bags under his eye.

 

Wearing lip gloss is very different than trimming a beard.....wearing lip gloss is adding cosmetics to a face that is apparently unacceptable, whereas trimming hair, whether on the head or face, is trimming a continually growing but natural part of you. A better comparison would be to say that removing facial hair on a woman is like shaving facial hair or trimming a beard for a man. Trimming or removing hair is not wearing cosmetics, so they're not nearly the same.

[ducklite]

What does it matter if Hillary looks terrible? What difference does it make if she's an attractive or unattractive woman? Why should it matter if she wears a becoming hairstyle or a fashionable sunglasses? That's the part that astounds me. No one cared if Kissinger looked terrible or if Christopher had bags under his eye.

 

If I were saying she should have a face lift it would be a different story. I'm suggesting that her hairstyle is not only unbecoming, but scraggly and unkempt looking. I never saw Christopher or Kissinger looking unkempt, and believe they wore their hair in a way that was most becoming to them.

 

Wearing lip gloss is very different than trimming a beard.....wearing lip gloss is adding cosmetics to a face that is apparently unacceptable, whereas trimming hair, whether on the head or face, is trimming a continually growing but natural part of you. A better comparison would be to say that removing facial hair on a woman is like shaving facial hair or trimming a beard for a man. Trimming or removing hair is not wearing cosmetics, so they're not nearly the same.

 

I see it as a parallel.

[ducklite]

I never wear lip gloss, either with makeup or by itself. I rarely wear lipstick, but will for special occasions, such as dinner on a cruise. When I'm in San Carlos in the summer, I never wear makeup because it's too hot. And, I look just fine without it.

 

Your opinion. I'll be that a very tiny bit of makeup would make a positive change in your appearance.

 

That said, it's your choice to wear or not wear make up.

[6rugrats]

I never wear lip gloss, either with makeup or by itself. I rarely wear lipstick, but will for special occasions, such as dinner on a cruise. When I'm in San Carlos in the summer, I never wear makeup because it's too hot. And, I look just fine without it.

Who is there in San Carlos to notice? :D

[Laurie S.]

My fiance, for one. :)

 

And, he prefers me without makeup.

[Laurie S.]

Your opinion. I'll be that a very tiny bit of makeup would make a positive change in your appearance.

 

That said, it's your choice to wear or not wear make up.

 

Sorry, you're wrong.

 

AFAIC, lip gloss is about the most useless makeup I've ever seen. I wore it for awhile when in high school decades ago, but I don't even consider it makeup, actually. I prefer to wear chapstick, nonglossy.

[cruzisme]

I wear a little bit of makeup because I am pale and having lipstick and blush on makes me feel better! Hubby prefers no makeup on me but for my own comfort, a little bit works for me..

IMO a little bit does work for many. I don't like heavy makeup on anyone unless they are on tv or a performer etc.

[sherilyn70]

A woman who doesn't at least put on a little clear lip gloss is no different than a guy who can't be bothered shaving or trimming their facial hair. Personally I think Hillary looks terrible with her hair long. Her lack of make up doesn't bother me (although as I said, a little clear lip gloss goes a long way--and keeps your lips nice and soft) but her straggly long hair adds year and is simply not a becoming style for her--straight down or in the pony tail.

 

My husband would kill me if I used lip gloss. He hates the stuff as much as I do. It's sticky and unnatural looking. My experience with anything on the lips is that it dries them out more than it moisturizes... there's a reason women have to keep applying it. I have lips that are naturally darker that give many the impression I am wearing it though, it's funny how people will common on my lipstick color when I don't even own any. If my lips get dry the only thing going onto them is a non petrolium based balm.

[CruisinKLB]

Hi ladies..a while back, I posted a question to the men.

 

Does your lady dress to impress or for comfort. I was amazed at how many men said "for comfort", but they wish it were different. So many also said "happy wife, happy life" and if that is what she wants, then fine. I would say about 80% of the men had the same response.

 

My question is....are we getting too lazy? Too old to care about make-up, hair, attire?

 

I saw a talk show a few weeks back with men that said they WANT their ladies to dress and take pride in how they look. One man actually said he admires women and always looks. His wife gets angry at this, but the husbands response is..."when you start taking care of yourself, I will stop looking at other women" (OMG) I am sure he was in hot water when he got home...lol.

 

I am sure I will see a lot of opinions, but I would love to hear how the women REALLY feel. Thank you ladies..:o

 

 

I was taught to always put my best foot forward and that you only get one chance to make a good first impression.....I think it was ingrained at a very young age. I put effort into looking my best, dressing age appropriate while still good looking, etc. I don't want my husband looking at other women.....so I figure I should make the most of what I have. However, everyone is dfferent, so as long as the person is comfortable, it's not any of my busines. Live and let live :D

[bitsey66]

It generally depends on what day of the week it is, lol

3 days a week I wear a uniform to work, but I always do my make up hair and nails. I work 16 hour shifts so on Wednesdays, I am a bum unless I go somewhere. I ALWAYS try to have my hair and makeup done and generally tend to look my best for my fiance.

On the cruise I will usually always be dressed nice, but comfortable and when not at the pool or beach, I will have make up on (unless my face gets a nice tan :))

[iheartbda]

As if we didn't have enough to worry about.:p

http://now.msn.com/pat-robertson-suggests-that-unattractive-women-ruin-marriages

[iheartbda]

And, imo, men should take care of themselves for their wives. It's a two-way street.

Hmmmmm, funny but not in the comical sense, the two way street wasn't mentioned, was it?:rolleyes:

[Gathina]

You are so right on. Like it or not, in the real world you are judged on how you look so you'd better look appropriate. You don't have to have fancy clothes but everyone can look clean, neat, and presentable.

 

People don't have a sense of decorum anymore. I can remember as a child that flying was an 'event" and people dressed well even to take a flight. People throw themselves together carelessley for job interviews and although they may have good qulaifications, they don't "get it" because they chose to wear something that made them look like they don't care. Granted, the type of job you are interviewing would indicate how you might dress for the interview, but nonetheless if your not clean and neat who would want to hire you or take you seriously?

 

And like it or not, the majority of men like women who look like women. That doesn't mean you have to be decked out totally in makeup, heels, etc. but if it makes your husband happy and be proud to be seen with you by paying more attention to your clothes, hair, etc. who wouldn't want a happy husband?

 

I think that the care you take in your appearance reflects onto the rest of you life. I'm not saying that people need to be dressed in Armani with $200 hair cuts, but if someone--regardless of gender--can't be bothered to have a clean, neat (including hair), presentable look, I'm going to have a hard time finding leadership qualities in them. Lead by example, and part of that example is having some self-respect in the way one presents themselves to the world.

 

That said, if her hair is short--who cares? As long as it's a good cut and she takes a comb to it each morning, so be it. I love Jamie Lee Curtis' short do, but it's always in place--she keeps it trimmed and combed. If she didn't get her hair cut every 3-4 weeks it would look terrible. If she wears a skirt twice in a week--so what, as long as it's clean. But if her clothing looks like it came out of the Salvation Army $.25 cent bin, has never seen an iron, and is completely mismatched, well, it's hard to take someone who obviously couldn't be bothered to spend five minutes making themselves presentable in the morning seriously. Male or female.

 

In many companies, once you reach a certain level in management, you are expected to elevate your wardrobe respectively. It is noticed, and it can be a career stopper. I'm not saying that it's right or wrong--although in some companies where they sell "luxury" it's certainly understandable. You wouldn't expect the CEO of Tiffany & Co to wear a suit fresh off the rack from WalMart. You'd expect the bespoke look of a perfectly tailored suit of the finest wool, custom shirt with cuff links, and a perfectly knotted silk tie.

[cruisemom42]

And like it or not, the majority of men like women who look like women. That doesn't mean you have to be decked out totally in makeup, heels, etc. but if it makes your husband happy and be proud to be seen with you by paying more attention to your clothes, hair, etc. who wouldn't want a happy husband?

 

Would someone wake me up, please? I'm having this horrible dream that I'm back in the 1950s. At any moment hubby will be home, so I'd better go put on some makeup and my heels so I can look nice while I cook dinner and clean up. :rolleyes:

 

Again (and for the umpteenth time), I'm not arguing with "neat and presentable". As far as what attracts me to a man, though, his looks are pretty low on my list. I'm more interested in how he thinks, how he communicates, and how he treats others.

[Sailor_Sally]

Would someone wake me up, please? I'm having this horrible dream that I'm back in the 1950s. At any moment hubby will be home, so I'd better go put on some makeup and my heels so I can look nice while I cook dinner and clean up. :rolleyes:

 

.

 

Don't forget the pearls and have his martini ready !