Should dress codes disappear?

[TriTexan]

I agree.

 

 

I'll admit I'm fairly new to cruising, but I'm surprised by the anger and general condescending tone I read from the "you MUST dress up" people. I do understand that they feel people should follow the rules, but I still don't understand why the way other people are dressed is that big a deal generally to their own dining experience.

 

I think about going out to eat here in Houston where I live. People dress all kinds of ways, but generally, even in the casual restaurants you won't see people in the slovenly dress described here. Some people are dressed to the nines (around prom season you'll see formally attired couples) and others are casually dressed...everyone seems to be able to co-exist and enjoy the company of their friends without being bent out of shape about how others are dressed.

 

To be honest, I'm usually more "offended" or put-off by the cleavage bearing, too-short, too-skimpy outfits (formal or not) than I would be by a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I would not want to share a table with a lady in formal dress who was letting the girls hang out or having trouble keeping her wahoo covered. I'd be wishing I could hand her a XL t-shirt all evening. LOL

 

We are taking our first Princess cruise this summer, and we don't plan to dress formally (although we'll dress nicely every evening regardless), so on formal nights we plan to go to the buffet (or whatever else is available for no extra charge). I would never want to "offend" anyone by being dressed in a maxi with my dh in khakis and a ss shirt, so we'll just find another spot to dine. Like my husband says, "it's just food."

 

Then again, we didn't choose a cruise because we wanted the whole cruise experience. We chose it because it was going to places we want to see (Ancient Rome, Ancient Athens, etc), so our desires are probably not like most cruise experienced folks.

40's here and I'll tell you why it matters to me. Armpit hair and disgusting uncared for brown and yellow toenails are GROSS. I DO NOT want to look at one's tank top with balls of deodorant hanging out of their pits during a nice meal. Sorry for the graphic but that's really the only way to drive it home...

 

Dressing nice is a way of showing respect for those around you. Take a little pride in your appearance, that's all. Dress codes exist to provide guidance so that everyone has the same understanding of expectations. I wish we didn't need them but some have proven that without rules they are incapable of holding themselves to any kind of standard.

Edited April 20, 2015 by TriTexan

[LoveyHowell]

I'll tell you why it matters to me. Armpit hair and disgusting uncared for brown and yellow toenails are GROSS. I DO NOT want to look at one's tank top with balls of deodorant hanging out of their pits during a nice meal.

 

Nobody does. That's slovenly.

 

And that's not what casual means. We go on vacation and like to be casual. We are not slovenly.

 

We have fine personal grooming habits. My husband isn't making a difficult choice between a tuxedo shirt and a white undershirt from the hamper.:rolleyes: Come on, use a bit of common sense!

[TriTexan]

Nobody does. That's slovenly.

 

And that's not what casual means. We go on vacation and like to be casual. We are not slovenly.

 

We have fine personal grooming habits. My husband isn't making a difficult choice between a tuxedo shirt and a white undershirt from the hamper.:rolleyes: Come on, use a bit of common sense!

Easy does it....wasn't a personal attack lol!! Sorry if it came across like that. I guess the question is...how do you get others to take the same pride as you guys do?

[maywell]

Easy does it....wasn't a personal attack lol!! Sorry if it came across like that. I guess the question is...how do you get others to take the same pride as you guys do?

Answer - Unless the others* gain an epiphany / understanding how to dress resort, evening, or even business 'casual', they won't. Til then, one just has to watch and perhaps put up with those that think a basketball jersey and shorts on adult is appropriate attire for MDR Formal / Dress up evening.

 

 

*its not directed at any particular person- if you claim to dress properly for cruise line attire code that fine. But when one thinks a basketball jersey / shorts, torn jeans to point of why not just shorts, clothes so unquestionable you don't know if that how it suppose to look like that or you're being flashed, etc - its time reconsider your cruise clothing options.....

 

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[Cruisinwithagoodbook]

40's here and I'll tell you why it matters to me. Armpit hair and disgusting uncared for brown and yellow toenails are GROSS. I DO NOT want to look at one's tank top with balls of deodorant hanging out of their pits during a nice meal. Sorry for the graphic but that's really the only way to drive it home...

 

Dressing nice is a way of showing respect for those around you. Take a little pride in your appearance, that's all. Dress codes exist to provide guidance so that everyone has the same understanding of expectations. I wish we didn't need them but some have proven that without rules they are incapable of holding themselves to any kind of standard.

Yes, "dressing nice" is a way of showing respect, that's true... but the question really is what does "dressing nice" mean?

 

There seem to be a lot of people here that feel that "dressing nice" = formal. That's where I disagree. I don't want to look at "balls of deodorant hanging out" or "disgusting and uncared for brown and yellow toenails" either, but does that mean people have to dress formally? That's ridiculous.

 

Disgusting and uncared for brown and yellow toenails show in high heels the same as in flip flops. That doesn't change. A person who has no self-respect and doesn't understand basic grooming isn't going to suddenly do so because the dress code requires it.

 

And like I said above, I don't want to spend my dinner time worrying that the lady in the "formal cocktail dress" is going to let the girls fall out, or bend over to pick up her napkin and show WAY more than I want to see! Dressing "nice" (by dress code standards) doesn't mean I want to see that. In fact, I find it "disrespectful" for her to make me look at that (or keep having to avoid looking at that) all through dinner.

 

I understand the idea of dressing up is fun to some people. We go to my husband's office Christmas party every year and it's a "formal" event. I'm always shocked and appalled at the indecent dress the women call "formal" so I know for sure that I prefer decent casual, thankyouverymuch.

 

So the dress code says it's okay, does that make it "respectful"?

 

So again, I'll ask the question: Do you not go out to eat at a local restaurant where you live? Can you not enjoy dinner if those around you are not dressed the way you approve?

 

I go to church every Sunday, and then go out to eat. Most of those around us in the restaurant are dressed in much more casual clothing. I still enjoy my meal... and I've never EVER seen anybody in all my 49 years of life with the "disgusting" attire you mention, but lack of modesty is rampant. I still manage to share a restaurant with them without requiring them to conform to what I think is acceptable.

 

Nobody does. That's slovenly.

 

And that's not what casual means. We go on vacation and like to be casual. We are not slovenly.

 

We have fine personal grooming habits. My husband isn't making a difficult choice between a tuxedo shirt and a white undershirt from the hamper.:rolleyes: Come on, use a bit of common sense!

Exactly. Why does the "WE MUST HAVE A DRESS CODE" crowd act like suddenly everyone is going to dress like complete slobs.

 

The only dress code I know of at most local restaurants is "no shirt, no shoes, no service" and most people are fully clothed. I've never seen the nastiness described here in McDonalds! Where are we digging up these passengers?

 

Yes, a Cruise ship is different, but a basic "fully clothed (no swimsuits)" requirement would be fine, I would think.

Edited April 20, 2015 by Cruisinwithagoodbook

[Sailor_Sally]

I think there is a lot of fantasy about how bad people dress . I have been on 22 cruises and have never seen people in the dining rooms dressed as badly as described on this site . If I did I would change cruise lines to something more upscale .

[iheartbda]

I have not seen any of the disgusting examples of bad dress or grooming that some have posted. However, I have seen clothing that would not fit country club casual. For the record, my dinner was never ruined because someone was not dressed in what would be considered "nice" clothes.;)

 

Someone asked what dressing nice means. The cruise line could publish what is considered nice....just using men as the example since most complaints seem to be about them, long pants, collared shirt, no flip flops or baseball caps. As I said before, people would then say it is JUST a suggestion and they'll dress however they want.

[Keksie]

I have been on many cruises and have not noticed any of the examples of bad dress in the MDR. Of course I tend to pay attention to the menu, the waiter and my dining companions more then the condition of people's toes under the tables.

[TriTexan]

Yes, "dressing nice" is a way of showing respect, that's true... but the question really is what does "dressing nice" mean?

 

There seem to be a lot of people here that feel that "dressing nice" = formal. That's where I disagree. I don't want to look at "balls of deodorant hanging out" or "disgusting and uncared for brown and yellow toenails" either, but does that mean people have to dress formally? That's ridiculous.

 

Disgusting and uncared for brown and yellow toenails show in high heels the same as in flip flops. That doesn't change. A person who has no self-respect and doesn't understand basic grooming isn't going to suddenly do so because the dress code requires it.

 

And like I said above, I don't want to spend my dinner time worrying that the lady in the "formal cocktail dress" is going to let the girls fall out, or bend over to pick up her napkin and show WAY more than I want to see! Dressing "nice" (by dress code standards) doesn't mean I want to see that. In fact, I find it "disrespectful" for her to make me look at that (or keep having to avoid looking at that) all through dinner.

 

I understand the idea of dressing up is fun to some people. We go to my husband's office Christmas party every year and it's a "formal" event. I'm always shocked and appalled at the indecent dress the women call "formal" so I know for sure that I prefer decent casual, thankyouverymuch.

 

So the dress code says it's okay, does that make it "respectful"?

 

So again, I'll ask the question: Do you not go out to eat at a local restaurant where you live? Can you not enjoy dinner if those around you are not dressed the way you approve?

 

I go to church every Sunday, and then go out to eat. Most of those around us in the restaurant are dressed in much more casual clothing. I still enjoy my meal... and I've never EVER seen anybody in all my 49 years of life with the "disgusting" attire you mention, but lack of modesty is rampant. I still manage to share a restaurant with them without requiring them to conform to what I think is acceptable.

 

 

Exactly. Why does the "WE MUST HAVE A DRESS CODE" crowd act like suddenly everyone is going to dress like complete slobs.

 

The only dress code I know of at most local restaurants is "no shirt, no shoes, no service" and most people are fully clothed. I've never seen the nastiness described here in McDonalds! Where are we digging up these passengers?

 

Yes, a Cruise ship is different, but a basic "fully clothed (no swimsuits)" requirement would be fine, I would think.

We are on the same page. I agree they are two completely different concerns. I also agree you can look very sharp regardless of a dress code. What I meant to imply is that the dress code is really a poor proxy for an entirely different issue.

[rockdoctor]

No, they they are necessary (60's). Many don't know what's expected of them.

[magandab]

No. 60s. I like to dress up and dressing up "because I feel like it" and sitting with people who don't feel like it takes away some of the special feeling and fun. However, this is never going to be a rule across all cruise lines so I will continue to book with those that have formal nights and those who dislike them can choose to eat elsewhere or book with lines that don't. Easy Peasy and everyone is happy. Why does the entire industry have to change?

[Porthopper101]

No. 60s. I like to dress up and dressing up "because I feel like it" and sitting with people who don't feel like it takes away some of the special feeling and fun. However, this is never going to be a rule across all cruise lines so I will continue to book with those that have formal nights and those who dislike them can choose to eat elsewhere or book with lines that don't. Easy Peasy and everyone is happy. Why does the entire industry have to change?

 

Cunard used to have formal, semi-formal, but it has changed from semi-formal to casual elegant. Men must wear a jacket, tie is optional. Women cocktail dress or dress pants and nice top. No jean or short allow after 6:00 PM in all public area. And yes, they do enforce the dress code.

 

After our next two cruises, we pretty much been everywhere by cruise ship. We expect to travel with Cunard again in 2017. We enjoy the formal.

 

By the way, this subject will never end.

 

M

Edited April 21, 2015 by Porthopper101

[maywell]

By the way, this subject will never end.

 

M

 

No, no it will never end - Some people just don't how to dress casually for a breakfast buffet, let alone dressy / formal / cocktail attire for MDR formal / dress up night. For the record I have seen some hot messes / walking fashion fails at McDonald's / Burger Kings / Wendy's / Five guys /etc but then again I live in NYC where some people think wearing Pajamas on the subway during the weekday rush-hour is fashionable (no its not...). Let's not even get started with pants / jeans around the knees / thighs and showing of the underwear / crack - that's its own separate thread.....

[OzKiwiJJ]

With many of the newer and larger cruise ships having multiple MDRs - some traditional seating and others select/mytime, why don't cruise lines have an extra option in the dining requests - "formal". Then those people who indicate they would like to dress appropriately for formal dinners would be seated in the same MDR and the more casual dressers could be seated in a different MDR. It could even work in sections of the MDR on smaller ships.

 

We love the opportunity to dress to the nines occasionally but I can understand why others prefer more casual clothes.

[ducklite]

With many of the newer and larger cruise ships having multiple MDRs - some traditional seating and others select/mytime, why don't cruise lines have an extra option in the dining requests - "formal". Then those people who indicate they would like to dress appropriately for formal dinners would be seated in the same MDR and the more casual dressers could be seated in a different MDR. It could even work in sections of the MDR on smaller ships.

 

 

 

We love the opportunity to dress to the nines occasionally but I can understand why others prefer more casual clothes.

 

 

That depends on what you consider a smaller ship. For some of us, a smaller ship would be in the 500-1000 passenger range. Using that criteria, your idea will not work.

[OzKiwiJJ]

That depends on what you consider a smaller ship. For some of us, a smaller ship would be in the 500-1000 passenger range. Using that criteria, your idea will not work.

 

True, but it could work for ships around 2000 pax, I think.

 

But even the 500-1000 size ships have more than one restaurant, don't they? And they tend to be the all-inclusive lines, ie you don't pay extra to go to some restaurants? So maybe one restaurant could have a formal night or two for those passengers who enjoy getting dressed up.

[ducklite]

True, but it could work for ships around 2000 pax, I think.

 

 

 

But even the 500-1000 size ships have more than one restaurant, don't they? And they tend to be the all-inclusive lines, ie you don't pay extra to go to some restaurants? So maybe one restaurant could have a formal night or two for those passengers who enjoy getting dressed up.

 

 

Many ships under 1000 passengers currently have no formal night and a smart casual dress code every night. (There are a few lines that are exceptions). I highly doubt you will get any of them to change to a casual dress code (or enact formal nights) as their clientele are quite satisfied with the current scheme--and generally never need to be reminded of it. I have spent three weeks on small ships and everyone across the board had the common sense--and decency--to understand and abide by the dress code. Ship wide, smart casual (which does not include jeans or shorts or open toed shoes on men) after 6:00 pm is the rule and people follow it without having to be sent to cabins like children.

Edited April 21, 2015 by ducklite

[OzKiwiJJ]

Many ships under 1000 passengers currently have no formal night and a smart casual dress code every night. (There are a few lines that are exceptions). I highly doubt you will get any of them to change to a casual dress code (or enact formal nights) as their clientele are quite satisfied with the current scheme--and generally never need to be reminded of it. I have spent three weeks on small ships and everyone across the board had the common sense--and decency--to understand and abide by the dress code. Ship wide, smart casual (which does not include jeans or shorts or open toed shoes on men) after 6:00 pm is the rule and people follow it without having to be sent to cabins like children.

 

I'd certainly be happy with a smart casual code every night, but DH does love his tuxedo and he does look very nice in it. :)

 

It's great that everyone on those smaller cruises does abide by the dress code. I've done some luxury train travel and been disappointed in the "interpretation" of smart casual on those :(

[ducklite]

I'd certainly be happy with a smart casual code every night, but DH does love his tuxedo and he does look very nice in it. :)

 

 

 

It's great that everyone on those smaller cruises does abide by the dress code. I've done some luxury train travel and been disappointed in the "interpretation" of smart casual on those :(

 

 

There are a few cruise lines that still have formal nights and do enforce dress codes. Perhaps you should consider one of them. Seabourn might be a good place to start.

[cruisemom42]

As some others have suggested, I view it as two separate issues.

 

Should there be a formal night (or nights)?

 

and

 

Should there be some sort of enforced dress code of minimum acceptable attire?

 

 

I am ambivalent on the first one -- having started cruising in the 1970s when people really dressed up in gowns and tuxes, there was no buffet except for a few special layouts by the pool at lunchtime, and everyone had fixed dining. I have enjoyed it at times, but I can do without it.

 

On the second one, I absolutely think some minimum level of dress should be enforced, whether that is basic casual, smart casual, country club casual etc.

 

Unlike some posters, I've seen some unpleasant casual sights in the dining room of an evening, including someone in denim overalls that looked dirty enough to have come out of an auto repair shop, and on a couple occasions someone wearing a t-shirt with either a lewd graphic or an expletive on it. I wouldn't think most people would find that appropriate in a nice restaurant on land or at sea.

 

My recent cruises have been on a very small ship (~350 passengers max) where there is no formal night but people dress appropriately, so I tend to forget about these debates.

 

Part of me wonders if the larger ships provide more anonymity, that is, people feel less of an obligation to dress appropriately because they think no one will notice?

[iheartbda]

With many of the newer and larger cruise ships having multiple MDRs - some traditional seating and others select/mytime, why don't cruise lines have an extra option in the dining requests - "formal". Then those people who indicate they would like to dress appropriately for formal dinners would be seated in the same MDR and the more casual dressers could be seated in a different MDR. It could even work in sections of the MDR on smaller ships.

 

.....................

 

With Dynamic Dining on Royal Caribbean's newest ship, one restaurant (does not have an upcharge) the dress code is formal. I haven't read anything lately to see how it's going but people were already asking how formal, etc. It seems there are people who still want to go to an always formal place and not dress formally when they have other options, other than the buffet.

[ducklite]

So everyone with money knows how to dress properly . I doubt that .

 

That's not what I said. What I said that was in small ships with higher fares, people seem to have no problem following the dress code. Not everyone who cruises those ships is rich. I am not, which is why we don't cruise every year, let alone multiple times a year.

[IrishLassie]

That's not what I said. What I said that was in small ships with higher fares, people seem to have no problem following the dress code. Not everyone who cruises those ships is rich. I am not, which is why we don't cruise every year, let alone multiple times a year.

 

I know what you mean and I see nothing wrong with the way you presented it. :) Sometimes you just have to wonder "what were they thinking" or as my DH says sometimes "that person doesn't have a mirror in their house ! There is no reason to be "sloppy" on a cruise or anywhere. I for one, love the dress codes & enjoy getting dressed up every night on our cruise & love the formal nights. Living in Florida year round, we dress very casual at home, so I look forward to dressing up. Just my thoughts, and to each his own.

[frantic36]

That's not what I said. What I said that was in small ships with higher fares, people seem to have no problem following the dress code. Not everyone who cruises those ships is rich. I am not, which is why we don't cruise every year, let alone multiple times a year.

 

I have to disagree. At this point in time I sail only on Seabourn and usually about twice a year. Just recently Seabourn changed the dress code, the Elegant Casual nights are now jacket optional for men whereas before you were expected to wear a jacket. I don't have a problem with men not wearing a jacket, but what amazed me on our cruise a couple of months ago was how some people still chose to "push the envelope" and dress very casually for dinner in the MDR........think sweat shirts and casual day dresses. I am sorry but no way would I call that Elegant Casual.

 

Before if someone turned up without a jacket they would be given one to wear or asked to get one. Now it is much harder to enforce.

 

I just find it confusing as why go on a cruise line with a certain dress code and then choose not to follow the code. There are other cruise lines that have only casual dress codes. I know this is controversial but I just wonder if it is a case of them wanting to to prove a point. :confused:

[ducklite]

I have to disagree. At this point in time I sail only on Seabourn and usually about twice a year. Just recently Seabourn changed the dress code, the Elegant Casual nights are now jacket optional for men whereas before you were expected to wear a jacket. I don't have a problem with men not wearing a jacket, but what amazed me on our cruise a couple of months ago was how some people still chose to "push the envelope" and dress very casually for dinner in the MDR........think sweat shirts and casual day dresses. I am sorry but no way would I call that Elegant Casual.

 

 

 

Before if someone turned up without a jacket they would be given one to wear or asked to get one. Now it is much harder to enforce.

 

 

 

I just find it confusing as why go on a cruise line with a certain dress code and then choose not to follow the code. There are other cruise lines that have only casual dress codes. I know this is controversial but I just wonder if it is a case of them wanting to to prove a point. :confused:

 

 

Wow, maybe I need to scratch that line off the list. I agree that when someone books a cruise, they should expect to follow the stated dress code.