Customary seating order at dinner?

[gooselace]

Most of my cruises have been with just one other person, either my mother, my DH, or most recently a friend. As I recall, we were at tables for 8, but the two of us always sat together, and, I think, in the same chairs every night. Is this what everyone does?

 

Socially, couples traditionally aren't seated together, presumably so they can visit with other people. At multiday business functions, placecards are often used so that people have an opportunity to meet more people at meals.

 

Even if couples sit together wouldn't it make sense for them to sit next to different people on some evenings, since it's difficult to carry on a conversation with people who are on the opposite side of the table. Or could this offend someone? Would it confuse the waiters?

[serendipity1499]

Most of my cruises have been with just one other person, either my mother, my DH, or most recently a friend. As I recall, we were at tables for 8, but the two of us always sat together, and, I think, in the same chairs every night. Is this what everyone does?

 

Socially, couples traditionally aren't seated together, presumably so they can visit with other people. At multiday business functions, placecards are often used so that people have an opportunity to meet more people at meals.

 

Even if couples sit together wouldn't it make sense for them to sit next to different people on some evenings, since it's difficult to carry on a conversation with people who are on the opposite side of the table. Or could this offend someone? Would it confuse the waiters?

 

My DH & I do sit totgether but we often change places & sit next to other people at tables for eight or ten..You kind of have to play it by ear & see what others would like to do..Once in a while you find people who want to sit in their same places each evening...But at most of our tables the others have enjoyed changing seats so they can talk to other couples or singles at our table...

 

And it will never confuse the waiters..

[Aussie Gal]

We have always moved around the table so that everyone gets a chance to have a different view of the dining room or the view out the back window. We have always discussed this amongst our table mates and they have always been happy to move seats each night. We usually sit together or opposite depending if it is a round table for 8 where we will sit together or if it is a square table for 6 where we can either sit opposite or together.

 

Jennie

[Navy_Chief]

I've never really thought about this before. Our last cruise, a 6 person table, everyone kept the same seats. We usually got there last and the topic never came up. This time out, we'll be at a 6 person table but we're all cruising together so maybe we'll try it your way Jennie and swap around on different nights.

[Randyk47]

Typically my wife and I sit together. On our last cruise we were at a table for 4 so there really wasn't much variety available in terms of sitting arrangements. We have, at larger tables and depending on the company, switched places but not always. I guess we just "play it by ear". Took me a couple of times to get it right but my wife is my best friend and I love being with her all the time. :D

[Krazy Kruizers]

When we used to sit at larger tables, we would always try to encourage the other people at the table to change. Sometimes they wanted to. Other times our tablemates just wanted to sit in the same seat every night. Even we used to sit at a table for by the windows, we would encourage the other couple to change sides.

 

Everybody is different.

[jhannah]

We sit together, but we do switch seats sometimes. This makes the waiter have to move our drinks that he had ready for us on arrival ... but caused no confusion. It does depend on what our tablemates want to do. We're fine just staying in one place.

[Amber14]

Took me a couple of times to get it right but my wife is my best friend and I love being with her all the time. :D

 

What a wonderful thing to say about your wife!:)

I feel exactly the same way about my husband. We don't care where we sit at the table but we always sit together.

[the2ofus]

I can't imagine sitting in the same seat every night in the dining room. I enjoy a change of scenery and a change of dining companions. Usually, I try to arrive early enough so that I have a choice of seats at the table. As a solo traveler, I would never choose a seat that would cause a couple to be separated.

 

When I was working, I tried never to sit in the same seat at meetings either. This caused some of my more conventional co-workers some discomfort. My theory is that sticking to the same patterns stifles flexibility and creative thinking. Also, sitting next to someone different paid off when I needed interdepartmental cooperation, because they knew who I was and we had built some rapport.

 

Randyk47, my DH and I felt the same toward each other. It is a wonderful and rare experience. Savor and treasure it!

[twoatsea]

Well, I have learned something new about the world today (which is always a good thing :) )

 

DH & I have cruised a lot (several times a year). We have never changed seats once our seat was determined on the first night. Not only that, the subject has never arisen! After reading some of the posts, that seems strange.

 

We always sit together - sorry but the following may be sensitive for some folks to read - we sometimes share food and/or taste each other's food! :eek: Would become messy if we weren't next to each other! ;)

 

The following is not critical of anyone, but my manners instruction was that only one person speaks, not several conversations going on at the same time. The largest table for us has been 8 people (rectangular & circular). No one conducted private conversations, discussion was shared with everyone. Seemed really strange to me (not criticising) that some move around to talk with different ones at the table. :confused: I'm glad we have not experienced that. I like to hear everything from everyone!

[RoofingPrincess]

My last cruise was as part of a large group, so I already knew most of the people at our table (at least, I knew the women, since we all belonged to the group; I hadn't met any of their DHs before).

Since one of the seats was clearly less desirable because it was right on the main aisle, the couples rotated around the table every night. I really don't recall discussing it; the sense was that (unless you were always the last couple to get there), it just wasn't fair to make the same person sit there in traffic every night! Plus, those who got there later didn't "climb over" the people who were already there... the tables were kind of close together. So whoever got there earliest took the seats furthest from the aisle, etc. (and you didn't leave empty seats that would force a couple to split up).

As to having multiple conversations at the table, our table was large enough (we had 9 people, and I really think the table was meant for 8 as it was cozy) and the dining room noisy enough that I had difficulty hearing the people on the other side of the table much of the time (and I was one of the younger ones at the table). So there did tend to be several conversations going at the table at once, with people chatting with the folks closest to them.

[cruisinjudy]

We always opt for a large table and we always switch seats as the cruise goes on. We do sit next to each other. Side conversations with the person next to you do go on as often it is difficult to hear what is said on the other side of the table or down at the end. That doesn't mean that all conversations are just with those around you, but that there are various types of conversations going on at different times in the meal. Our first HAL cruise was at a very large oval table. Many discussions included the whole group, but as we ate side discussions would arise. We had a wonderful time.

[RuthC]

I like to sit at a large, round table. When I enter, if others are already seated, I pick a seat next to one or the other. If I'm last in, well, I get what's left.

Now, if the seas are particularly rough, RuthC is a smart cookie. I figure out which way the ship is listing the most and sit on the other side.

I really hate it when everything dumps my way! :D

[HeatherInFlorida]

Like most others here, we always sit together but each couple switches seats every night. Whoever gets there first picks where they want to be and so it continues.

 

Particularly with a large table, you can't always hear everyone and this is a great way to get to know everyone well.

 

Once, at a table for 10, there was one individual who I really didn't like a whole lot:o . So I was very careful to only sit next to her/him that one time ... took some maneuvering, but it worked. Had we kept the same seats the entire cruise, that could have been awkward. So this works out all around.

[newmexicoNita]

Well, I have learned something new about the world today (which is always a good thing :) )

 

DH & I have cruised a lot (several times a year). We have never changed seats once our seat was determined on the first night. Not only that, the subject has never arisen! After reading some of the posts, that seems strange.

 

We always sit together - sorry but the following may be sensitive for some folks to read - we sometimes share food and/or taste each other's food! :eek: Would become messy if we weren't next to each other! ;)

 

The following is not critical of anyone, but my manners instruction was that only one person speaks, not several conversations going on at the same time. The largest table for us has been 8 people (rectangular & circular). No one conducted private conversations, discussion was shared with everyone. Seemed really strange to me (not criticising) that some move around to talk with different ones at the table. :confused: I'm glad we have not experienced that. I like to hear everything from everyone!

I really have never thought about this before: we do sit together and like you, we sometimes taste each others food, plus when ordering wine I think it is easier for the wine steward to know who get what if we sit together, but we also visit with everyone at our table. If we have a table for 6 or 8 (our preferance) we always have couples on either side of us assuming we have a round table. It is an interesting subject to say the least. NMnita

[gooselace]

Well, I have learned something new about the world today (which is always a good thing :) )

 

DH & I have cruised a lot (several times a year). We have never changed seats once our seat was determined on the first night. Not only that, the subject has never arisen! After reading some of the posts, that seems strange.

 

We always sit together - sorry but the following may be sensitive for some folks to read - we sometimes share food and/or taste each other's food! :eek: Would become messy if we weren't next to each other! ;)

 

The following is not critical of anyone, but my manners instruction was that only one person speaks, not several conversations going on at the same time. The largest table for us has been 8 people (rectangular & circular). No one conducted private conversations, discussion was shared with everyone. Seemed really strange to me (not criticising) that some move around to talk with different ones at the table. :confused: I'm glad we have not experienced that. I like to hear everything from everyone!

 

 

Laughed when I read about sharing food. My DH and I sometimes do that also, as discreetly as possible.;) But he doesn't really care to cruise, so now I usually cruise with a friend. On our Sept. Baltic cruise we're going to have anytime dining, so we won't be seated with the same people all the time anyway.

 

Mainly I was curious as to why the cruise "tradition" seems so different from the social table, where normally couples are separated, and other settings with seating charts.

 

I particularly like the idea of a rotation when some seats are more advantageous, either because of the view, or not backed up against an entrance or serving station.

 

And maybe some people will be inspired to try "mixing it up" occasionally.

[HeatherInFlorida]

When you have 8 or more at a table I think there will always be little aside chatting from time to time throughout the meal. As a general rule I would agree that it's all one conversation.

 

But particularly at tables for 10, it's almost impossible. The round table for 10 is huge! So the conversations were definitely broken up.

 

And invariably the person to your right or left wants to engage in a short aside conversation about something. Actually, that's why I didn't want to sit next to the person I described above. I would be trying to listen to the "real" conversation at the table, and she'd be trying to draw me in to a 1 on 1.

 

It can be a little tricky sometimes when you're at a really large table and even worse if it's a long rectangle.

[Sunshine91]

John's a lefty so I always try to sit to his left. If anyone's going to get elbowed by him, I want it to be me. Or I try to make sure he gets the appropriate "end" of a rectangular table. We'll sit next to each other or across, doesn't matter. As to sharing food, I'm notorious for not finishing my dinner, so yep, I usually pass off part of my plate to him.

We like rotating after a night or 2, once we get to know folks. Some cruises our mates have been fantastic about this, bringing up the topic the first night. Other trips, you could tell, it just wasn't gonna happen. Let's just say, peeps were a bit, um, rigid?

And if there's a single at our table & it works out that a couple will be separated at dinner, no biggie for us. We feel about each other the same way Randyk47 does towards his sweetie, but hey, it's only dinner.

Great question. :)

[HeatherInFlorida]

I agree, Susan ... I don't to be sitting next to my DH to know he's always by my side:) .

[Pudgesmom]

 

Once, at a table for 10, there was one individual who I really didn't like a whole lot:o . So I was very careful to only sit next to her/him that one time ... took some maneuvering, but it worked. Had we kept the same seats the entire cruise, that could have been awkward. So this works out all around.

 

 

Was it me? :D :rolleyes:

 

Beth

[Juanita462]

Sometimes there are reasons for people wanting to sit in a particular seat - I am severely hearing impaired and if I don't sit with my good ear towards other people I don't hear a thing. I really want to join in the conversation so I usually ask for a window table and sit by the window - both so that I can hear but also not to have the noise from the dining room block out what I can hear. People are usually gracious about this but on our last cruise they were not so we rotated seats to please them and most of the time I couldn't hear a thing so felt very isolated.

 

I laughed about tasting food from DH's plate - we do that all the time and only once did we get a glare from another pax. It is a good way to find out if you would like a particular dish yourself. Also I need DH beside me to interpret for me and let me know what is being discussed.

[HeatherInFlorida]

Was it me? :D :rolleyes:

 

Beth

 

ROFLOL, Beth!!!:D You know it wasn't! You are so funny:) . We switched all the time ... across, beside ... did we try diagonally?

[the2ofus]

Juanita462,

I understand your dilemma, because I also have some hearing impairment. At a rectangular table, it would seem that there would be two seats that would be appropriate for you. The one at the window and the one diagonally opposite. Both place your good ear toward the others at the table. Additionally, the one opposite the window places your back to the noisy dining room, which should be a plus.

 

I finally solved my problem this past Fall when I invested in hearing aids which allow me to adjust settings for conversation with people in my immediate vicinity, blocking out background noise. What a blessing they are, now that I have finally gotten used to actually hearing again.

[Juanita462]

the2ofus - you are absolutely right about the seat locations for better hearing and those are the ones I head for.

 

do you mind me asking what brand of hearing aid you use? I have never found any that blocked out background noise - even with the directional mikes in them. Of course I only have less than 10% hearing left in one ear and about 40% in the other - so maybe there are no hearing aids that will help completely. I even bought a pocket talker in hopes that it would help but it amplifies everything in the dining room. It is great for the performances though when only one person is speaking or singing. I am working hard on learning lip reading but it is quite difficult - the worst thing is that people are quite disconcerted when you watch their lips - I think they wonder if they have a piece of lettuce on their teeth!

[the2ofus]

Juanita462,

I'm also a lefty and those corner seats are best for that reason also.

I don't want to be considered OT so I will preface by saying that my enjoyment of cruising and especially dinner-table conversation is really enhanced by using hearing aids. It did take me more than nine months and being persistent about adjustment and practicing hearing again before I was satisfied.

 

Mine are Oticon and they are digital. They do not block background noise completely, but damp it down enough so I can concentrate on the nearby conversation. I have three different settings; general sound, conversation, music, plus the volume adjustment. (I don't know if my audiologist would use those terms.) I have a lot of hearing loss in the middle range in both ears, but mine is not as severe as yours.

 

My third setting was for telephone use, but it seemed superfluous because most phones have volume adjustment. I recently asked my Aud. what else we could do with that setting. She suggested fine tuning for music. It has made a marvelous difference in how well I can hear choral and orchestral music in church, on the radio and in the concert hall.

 

My best wishes to you. I hope that your hearing loss is stabilized and that my info has been helpful.