My trip from HAL (very long) and some final words for you all

[Krazy Kruizers]

I feel better now!!

But so sorry that you had a "wild" vacation.

Remember that I said the first couple of days -- no cherrios in the Npetune Lounge -- until several of us fussed than they were put out.

You will have to come back sometime and tell us when you go on the Disney cruise and how it is.

Yes - that is true -- only the morning Wildlife and Seaquest tours are picked directly up at the ship. That is one of our favorite tours.

[Alaskabound77]

I'm not telling that this is the case with you, but really don't understand why people don't want to fly in the day before the cruise just to save one night of hotel.

 

Well, I can't speak for others, but in my case it had to do with having a DH who travels a lot already and was coming back into town late Friday night. I thought I needed Saturday to try to get ready together and really didn't want to face another hotel with young kids. And I also feel strongly that airlines should offer a product that gets you where you want to go on time (or at least within a couple of hours). That point is moot as things won't change there. If I could do it over, we would have made different choices (like maybe Disneyworld :p ).

[Two if by Sea]

Alaskabound, thanks so much for your educational and humorous cruise report.

 

I remember thinking when you first started planning for this cruise that you were the sort who took things as they came. I'm glad you found things to enjoy despite all the drama.

[twinkletoes4445]

Thanks for your kind words! We were just laughing last night because Tyler asked us if someone was going to drink his blood at his birthday party.

 

The trip insurance is going to be a real pain. Neither airline is stepping up to help me yet. Alaska says that we aren't even in their system (uh, could you check the passenger manifest???). American says they don't track Alaskan Airlines planes. It's sort of funny because I think they think I will just go away. hahahahahahahahah. Oh, trust me, folks, I will bring down your systems with hourly emails if I have to. I'm not going away.

 

Poor Tyler. lol That was funny...I am sure it was not funny to you... or little Tyler, but you're comments about these different situations are a CRACK UP! This is Erma Bombeck-style writing...really, you are quite talented. :)

 

I don't blame you for not going away, I'd do what you're doing (and I have). They'll give in...and if they don't, shoot them a copy of this review. They'll probably give you more money than you are asking for. lol

[twinkletoes4445]

I know exactly what you mean.

 

After reading this review again, I'm leaning toward a week in advance. lol Wow. The next time someone complains about their cruise, I think I'll direct them to this thread. I don't think anything I've read can come close this one.

[sail7seas]

Oh my word........ Nope, there are no words!!!

 

You are so generous to have shared this tale with us and I was glued to every word. Your sense of humor is terrific and your writing fun to read.

 

You sound like a wonderful family.

 

Welcome Back!!!

 

 

[dillonsmom]

I'm so sorry to hear that your dream trip did not turn out to be a dream after all. I know how much time you spent planning this vacation as I witnessed all of your posts and questions on the boards. Please let us know if you trip insurance worked out, I always buy trip insurance but luckily have never needed it. Hope your future vacations, whatever they may be work out better. Thanks for the laughs.:)

[vbmom87]

I, too, am sorry that after all that planning your trip did not go as well as planned.

 

As much as we enjoyed our cruise on HAL's Volendam, I did a learn alot about HAL. Their right hand never knows what their left hand is doing. They make so many errors it is just unbelievable!!!! Their communication system is lacking at every level. They do have pleasant people working for them, but these people are so clueless. I have spent most of my time on the Alaska forum, but have spent a fair amount of time on the HAL forum. I simply can't believe Hal has so many loyal followers. If this is the best it gets, I don't think cruising is for me.

[yallcome]

WONDERFUL posts---sorry it was so difficult for you though!!

The part about the kids left at home and the discrepency between the haves and the have-nots really struck a chord with me! We leave the day after tomorrow for our cruise. I hope you and DH get a good babysitter and just take off to some lovely ski chalet in the mountains, or some quaint B&B to decompress from your "vacation".

 

Do take care...

 

Thanks for sharing and taking the time to write it all up---you made us all laugh (and some of us cry and moan, etc.)

 

Best,

Kim

[Alaskabound77]

Thanks to everyone for their kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the review. I really enjoyed writing it. Again, what a great community on this board.

[Hoyaheel]

If this is the best it gets, I don't think cruising is for me.

I think the problem is--when it goes well, it's so wonderful. But when it goes badly--it's a fiasco. Fortunately, there seems to be more of the former than the latter.

 

Alaskabound--thank you so much for your review--like others, I was moaning and shaking my head as I read through it. Wondering how on earth you could write such a funny review about an experience that must have been awful!

[Barek]

Wow, I actually had to double check to verify that we were actually on the same cruise! (same ship, same dates, we were in SS 8073). I'm so sorry that you had such a horrid experience - although your writing style did have me laughing at parts - I was anxiously scrolling from one post to the next to follow along.

 

My main comment: the moment you mentioned being on Alaskan Air the same day as the cruise, my first thoughts were "uh-oh". I've only flown Alaskan three times in the last five years; and two of those experienced significant delays of several hours each due to maintenance issues. Whenever possible, I do my best to avoid them now.

 

Just out of curiosity, did you book the flight through HAL or on your own? If through HAL, then I am surprised that they didn't try to make arrangements to hold the ship in Seattle. If on your own, then I'm not surprised. My understanding is that the gangway gets lifted well before departure because of requirements by the US Coast Guard - they require a list of all passengers before departure (I believe the requirement is either 60 or 90 minutes before departure). I have no idea if the clock resets if the cruise line allows a passenger onboard within that window. Although, your comments on the overall security gaps doesn't re-assure me that any cruise ship is trully made safe by the security "requirements" - so I'm sure there are ways around that requirement too.

 

On the fuel comments, I suspect that there is a chance that leaving Seattle late could have affected arrival time in Glacier Bay ... I seem to recall that the logs they gave out on the last day showed the ship running near its maximum speed ability the first day to get from Seattle to Glacier Bay. Although I'm going from memory, so I could be wrong on that one. And I have no idea if there were other ways to make up the time (does the park allow a certain number of hours in the bay, or are they required out by a certain time? I honestly don't know).

 

I never noticed the food problems that you described; but then I never got the scrambled eggs and I'm not a big steak eater (although the Filet Mignon in the PG was delicious, and when I got eggs they were usually over-easy - which were real eggs). I do agree that some items were lacking flavor (the lamb shank and several of the deserts come to mind) - but otherwise I enjoyed the meals.

 

For comparison, here's the comments that I posted about the same cruise: http://cruiseforums.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=805516

 

Sorry again about your experience ... I hope it doesn't turn you off cruising permanently. I would also hope you would give HAL another chance; but from your experience, I would fully understand if you chose to only cruise with other lines if you do cruise again in the future!

[Saga Ruby]

American says they don't track Alaskan Airlines planes. It's sort of funny because I think they think I will just go away. hahahahahahahahah. Oh, trust me, folks, I will bring down your systems with hourly emails if I have to. I'm not going away.

 

Christopher Elliott, the ombudsman for Nat Geo, recently addressed a similar problem in his column. His point was that it's much better to send a certified or registered letter to the corporate office because major corporations are cowering behind the excuse of "we have no record . . . ." I hope this helps you improve your strategies against corporate indifference.

 

Gosh, you are an excellent writer. Best of all, there were almost no exclamation points when the entire experience was nothing but one big ! As I was reading about Day 5, I suddenly remembered getting married at 18, son born at 19, daughter born at 20. It was a tough, tough haul rearing kids alone but, now that I'm in my 60s and my children are doing quite well, Mama's spending the inheritance and traveling all over the world - solo.

 

Thanks for your stories of derring do, high suspense, and ultimate ability to keep your sense of humour. And your "get 'er done" attitude showed that you are a seasoned traveler, a good problem solver. The story about the ship's staff enjoying your suite for days, locking out your sister, then your family having to wait while they vacated your cabin is quite a poor picture of HAL.

 

And yes, always always always get to port at least a day ahead of time and always always always have trip insurance unless you can afford to accept a zero sum game for a vacation.

 

Ruby

[Alaskabound77]

Somehow I didn't post this day.

 

Day 6: Ketchican We have no plans for today and I am hoping to be in better alignment with the universe.

Now I’m starting to get wise about breakfast and I decide that it’s time to take advantage of the Pinnacle Grill. I’m not entirely sure about the time so I call the Neptune Lounge to inquire. I am told that the PG is only open for lunch and dinner. But I argue back and tell the person on the phone that I’m pretty sure it’s open for breakfast for suite customers. Please hold. After a long wait, the person returns and seems quite surprised that I am correct. So we head to the PG and find that there is only one other couple eating and they seat us right next to them. They turn out to be a lovely couple that loves to cruise and they seem to not be too annoyed with our kids. We order the chocolate chip pancakes and the Alaskan Eggs Benedict (with salmon) off of the specialty menu and I stick with a frittata. The service is slow and eventually we receive plain pancakes and a plain eggs benedict. After sawing through this one, DH is too tired to complain that both orders were wrong. And they have no Cheerios. I thought I read that one should tip cash at the PG table when doing breakfast but I notice that the other couple did not leave a tip. And I sort of feel like they didn’t deserve that much of a tip since 2/3 of the items ordered were incorrect.

As we approach our room, one of the room stewards pulls me aside and asks why we got on the boat so late. He is not my room steward and I tell him what happened and that I am working with Andrea. He says that I must get to Amber Coomer and tell her everything. Okay, I can do that! But first, I really do need to find some Cheerios and some baby formula. (more than you ever wanted to know, but I am nursing the baby and packed just a little bit of formula for emergencies. But I think the stress of the first three days has caused my supply to dwindle and the baby is sucking down this formula at a dramatic pace and I must get my hands on more formula, and Cheerios, dammit, Cheerios!). We head into Ketchican and find a drugstore and I pay an outrageous amount for a little tiny bit of already prepared formula. No Cheerios. Again. I’m not all that interested in exploring Ketchican since it looks basically like the fake part of Juneau that we just left.

We get back on the ship and I leave the family to go find Amber with whom I have an appointment. She is a wonderful woman who listens to all my woes and is having a hard time believing some of my stories. She asks if we like spa treatments and alcohol and I assure her that we do. She promises to try and make the last two days better which is so nice to hear. Later that afternoon, a bottle of champagne, a bottle of white, and a bottle of red wine appear in each of our three cabins. I also have a message from the Greenhouse Spa that they have four massages for our group to use and to call and book them. Did I tell you that Amber is GREAT and an asset to the HAL and the Westerdam??? I will be contacting the head honchos at HAL to let them know about Amber Coomer. I am definitely starting to feel better about our cruise. But I might also be feeling better due to the copious amounts of wine that are now flowing in our suite. And we are facing an interesting situation where we are looking at around 12 bottles of champagne and wine and have only two nights to drink them. So you say, hey, make some friends and invite them over for drinks on your balcony. And this is when I tell you that the Women of Faith conference is on this ship taking up 900 spots. They are not a drinking crowd (and not a tipping crowd either, according to many of the crew on the ship).

Today is also the day of the July 4th BBQ on the Lido Deck. This is a very nice event and DH says the salmon is the best food he’s had on the ship yet. As we are eating, we hear a woman comment that “I’ve been on tons of cruises and this is the worst one I’ve ever been on!” We start listening in and she mentions a few things along with the fact that a light keeps flickering in her room. It seems trivial to me but at least I’m not the only one who feels like this isn’t working out as expected.

That afternoon, we decide that it will be fun to try the appetizer plate available to suite guests before dinner (you know, because it’s been 30 minutes since the last time I ate anything). The food arrives on time but is sort of disappointing. There are three items: fried sausage things, fried chicken nuggets, and fried seafood of some kind. But it’s not really seafood. It’s chicken, for sure. The food is okay but not worth ordering again since Tyler eats the same chicken nuggets for dinner each night. But the sauce is pretty dam good.

DH tells me that invitations have arrived for us to have cocktails with the captain. I look at the invitation and it is addressed to Lila and DH. Well, where is mine? Ah, here it is and it’s addressed to me and Allen Bromley. I don’t have any idea who Allen Bromley is but I suspect that it’s the Inspector and I can tell you that he did not get his invitation. We are going to skip the event as I don’t have much to say to the captain. Well, I have a lot to say but it’s probably not appropriate. I’ve now moved into the another stage of loss which I believe is finding someone else to blame. I’ll probably stay in this stage for a while.

Then it’s time to get ready for our first (and last) formal night. Tyler is wearing his full-on tuxedo that his grandparents brought back for him from South Korea. Lila is in an adorable velvet dress. Everyone else looks great too. Dinner is very nice tonight and we have fun. It’s always interesting to see how people interpret “formal.” While I was thinking I was going to hate it, I actually liked the whole Baked Alaska parade thing. In fact, I even liked the Baked Alaska dessert which might tell you something about the rest of the food we have eaten. The best part is that the assistant dining steward asked if he could take Lila onto the stairs and dance around with her. Are you kidding me??? Free babysitting for a few minutes?? Hell YES! I peek around to see her and she’s just smiling and laughing in his arms which is wonderful for everyone. Many people comment the next day about how cute she was on the stairs. This is after they ask if her name is Lila and we are the ones who missed the ship. Did I mention that my mom is telling anyone who will listen to her about our adventure?

It’s now 8:00. The front desk has called and we have a babysitter from 9:30 to 11:30 scheduled. So we have 1.5 hours to get these kids to sleep because I just want the babysitter to be able to watch TV quietly. I decided to try to lull the baby to sleep by walking around the ship with her in my chest carrier. Yet I cannot do that in heels and my formal dress so I dress down and take my chances at offending anyone. As I had suspected, the nightlife if pretty much dead with half of the ship eating dinner and other half not in the bars. I don’t think anyone notices that I’m not in formal wear and I really don’t even care anymore. I mean, they did get to enjoy three nights without me in the beginning. I return to the room and at 9:27, both of them are asleep (and we are exhausted). The babysitter arrives exactly on time and she is a lovely young woman who works at the front desk. She assures me that everything will be fine and we go outside to show her how to work the walkie talkies in case the kids wake up. Even though they were fully charged two days ago and have been turned off since then, the batteries are dead. Not to worry, she says, if the children wake up she will just call the front desk, they will pull up photos on the computer and they will send someone out to find us. Uhhhhh……..hold on. Unless you ask everyone to cover up everything but their right eye or to try to look like a blurry ghost, there is no way that anyone will find us based on those ship photos. Suddenly, the photos aren’t so funny anymore. So our solution is that I promise her that I will be in the Ocean Bar and will not leave there in case anything happens.

We head off to the Ocean Bar with my sister and dad and have some great drinks. My sister has become quite close with the Ocean Bar staff and I suspect she spent her three days alone drinking here. In fact, they all call it “Teresa’s Bar.” But that might also be because it is completely dead and she’s been the only patron there for days now – thanks, Women of Faith. There is a storm brewing now and the boat is starting to rock and roll quite a bit. It’s probably inevitable that when you are in a storm, at night, on a cruise ship, one begins to think about the Titanic and about how much that night must have really sucked. It also dawns on me that we have not participated in the safely drill and I have no clue as to where my lifeboat is located or how to put on the lifejackets. Then my family starts to tease me about the babysitter throwing the kids over the wrap around balcony and I start to freak out a bit. I run to the room to check on things by listening through the door and it seems that all is well. So we enjoy a few more drinks and then DH offers to go back and pay the sitter and let me sit with my family for a while longer. I tell him to tip the sitter well if both kids are indeed in their beds and alive. I spend some more time with my dad and sister and we win a little bit of money in the casino. I come home around midnight and DH informs me that the baby woke up two minutes after the sitter left and screamed for some time. I also thank him for not throwing her off the balcony.

 

I must also comment on here on my inability to know where I am on this ship. I have a really keen sense of direction when on land and I am spending the whole time completely disoriented. I finally decide to establish a rule with myself that if I am walking confidently in any direction, I must stop turn around, and head back the other way. It actually works for me! There were even a few times when I would stop, look at the window, go through the thought process of where the front of the ship must be located based on the water moving outside, and then happily walk to the bow when I was just trying to go back to my cabin. It's embarrassing. Yes, I know, there are maps outside every elevator, but I shouldn't need to rely on those! Instead I rely on the door numbers. 8010, 8008, dammit, turn around and try again to get to 8140.

[Alaskabound77]

Wow, I actually had to double check to verify that we were actually on the same cruise! (same ship, same dates, we were in SS 8073). I'm so sorry that you had such a horrid experience - although your writing style did have me laughing at parts - I was anxiously scrolling from one post to the next to follow along.

 

My main comment: the moment you mentioned being on Alaskan Air the same day as the cruise, my first thoughts were "uh-oh". I've only flown Alaskan three times in the last five years; and two of those experienced significant delays of several hours each due to maintenance issues. Whenever possible, I do my best to avoid them now.

 

Just out of curiosity, did you book the flight through HAL or on your own? If through HAL, then I am surprised that they didn't try to make arrangements to hold the ship in Seattle. If on your own, then I'm not surprised. My understanding is that the gangway gets lifted well before departure because of requirements by the US Coast Guard - they require a list of all passengers before departure (I believe the requirement is either 60 or 90 minutes before departure). I have no idea if the clock resets if the cruise line allows a passenger onboard within that window. Although, your comments on the overall security gaps doesn't re-assure me that any cruise ship is trully made safe by the security "requirements" - so I'm sure there are ways around that requirement too.

 

On the fuel comments, I suspect that there is a chance that leaving Seattle late could have affected arrival time in Glacier Bay ... I seem to recall that the logs they gave out on the last day showed the ship running near its maximum speed ability the first day to get from Seattle to Glacier Bay. Although I'm going from memory, so I could be wrong on that one. And I have no idea if there were other ways to make up the time (does the park allow a certain number of hours in the bay, or are they required out by a certain time? I honestly don't know).

 

I never noticed the food problems that you described; but then I never got the scrambled eggs and I'm not a big steak eater (although the Filet Mignon in the PG was delicious, and when I got eggs they were usually over-easy - which were real eggs). I do agree that some items were lacking flavor (the lamb shank and several of the deserts come to mind) - but otherwise I enjoyed the meals.

 

For comparison, here's the comments that I posted about the same cruise: http://cruiseforums.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=805516

 

Sorry again about your experience ... I hope it doesn't turn you off cruising permanently. I would also hope you would give HAL another chance; but from your experience, I would fully understand if you chose to only cruise with other lines if you do cruise again in the future!

 

We booked the flights on our own. But I was knew that at least twenty of the other 50 people had booked through HAL. This gave me hope that the ship would wait for us. Plus, it's a lot of lost revenue when 50 people miss the boat. But maybe HAL knew that this group wouldn't be tipping much anyway.

[Odd Ball]

What a saga...............:eek:

[innlady1]

What an extremely well-written review...you surely do know how to make lemonade out of lemons! You've had me in stitches.

[DCT61]

I really hate to laugh at your expense...and I hope you wrote it in the manner that I took it....but this is the funniest thing Ive read on Cruisecritic in about 3 years. If youre not a writer, you missed your calling.

 

My favorite line...

 

"The Comedian’s funniest joke was about him having to sleep in the galley. It’s only funny to us because we know that he was actually sleeping in my parent’s bed"

 

PRICELESS.

 

Thanks for the laugh.

[mamaofami]

I just finished reading this thread and first must say I am so sorry you missed the ship. Yes, you really have to fly in at least the night before, if not earlier.

You have a great sense of humor and certainly know how to make lemonade out of a whole lot of lemons. Hopefully, some time in the future this will all be something you can look back on and laugh about, and you will try crusing again when the kids are a bit older.

[SueOverend]

We booked the flights on our own. But I was knew that at least twenty of the other 50 people had booked through HAL. This gave me hope that the ship would wait for us. Plus, it's a lot of lost revenue when 50 people miss the boat. But maybe HAL knew that this group wouldn't be tipping much anyway.

 

Firstly, I agree with all the other posters, your review is really interesting and readable - I am so sorry that you had such a disastrous trip. It so often happens that when things go wrong at the start, they just go from bad to worse!

 

I am suprised that HAL didn't hold the boat for the passengers who booked their flights through the cruiseline. I always thought that was one of the main advantages for doing this. Did the others on your flight that missed the boat have similar woes with the promised accommodation.

 

Good luck with your insurance claim - here in the UK, they are notoriously difficult to pay up on claims but very eager to take your premium. Sue

[terrydtx]

Your story is so sad but it was amusing reading, I just can not believe how many things that could go wrong went wrong. We had a terrible cruise on Carnival with Murphy at his worst several years ago which began with a flight gone wrong on Continental, which I will never fly again. I do not want to get into what happened and take away from you great diatribe, but when I wrote an extremely long letter of complaint to carnival I got an offer of a future cruise voucher that I told them would never use as I never intended to cruise with Carnival again.:p I wanted money back which they point blank said wasn't going to happen, so I point blank told them were to stuff their cruise voucher:p

 

What surpirsed me about your cruise is that the ship sailed early when they had so many cruise line booked air passengers in the same situation as you guys. This is the big "sell" that they use to get us to pay their inflated airfares with booking cruises.

[Two if by Sea]

Alaskabound, even if you're never going on another cruise in your life I hope you will stick around and keep taking part in this forum!

 

If for no other reason than that every time someone comes on and says, "My cruise was awful -- it was cloudy our first day, there was a paint chip off one of the balcony doors, and the artwork in the halls was too green" you'll be able to chime in :).

[twinkletoes4445]

I really hate to laugh at your expense...and I hope you wrote it in the manner that I took it....but this is the funniest thing Ive read on Cruisecritic in about 3 years. If youre not a writer, you missed your calling.

 

My favorite line...

 

"The Comedian’s funniest joke was about him having to sleep in the galley. It’s only funny to us because we know that he was actually sleeping in my parent’s bed"

 

PRICELESS.

 

Thanks for the laugh.

 

That was funny...and the one about keeping the kid when they went to get off the ship (because there wasn't a picture on the card). And the baby barfing up the bad formula...OMG.

 

Like you, I hate to laugh at her expense, but she certainly made the best of a bad situation. She certainly has a way with words... :)

[johnlcruise]

GREAT Review. Thanks for making my day enjoyable by reading your review. :)

[LAFFNVEGAS]

While I should be working since that is where I am right now WORK, instead I was on the edge of my seat reading your full review. I must say that I kept hoping that at the end you would write this was all a vivid dream you had the night before you left :eek: But sadly I do know it was the truth. I am so glad that you have a great sense of humor and that you can still laugh at what all happened.

 

Life can certainly be an adventure and You and Your Family definitely had one heck of an adventure ;)