Dinner Etiquette Question

I wanted to get some opinions from my fellow cruisers on this - we will be sailing with our 5 and 6 year old kids and plan on eating most meals with them. Usually when we go out to restaurants, I bring along my phone and ipad, as well as some small toys, to keep the kids occupied while we're waiting for our food. They know the rule that once the food arrives, everything gets put away and it's time to talk as a family while we eat. I've found that wait time before the food is usually where most of the whining/bickering tends to occur, especially after a long, exciting day. So here's my question: if you were sitting at a large table with us, would you consider it rude that the kids were playing quietly with toys or electronics at the table, as long as it was not disruptive (no sound on devices, etc.)?

Note: I did request a table for four, mainly because I know many people prefer to dine without children, and I respect that option. Even my (mostly) well-behaved kids can have their moments, that's for sure! :p

Personally, if them playing quietly on an iPad means we could carry on a conversation and enjoy ourselves instead of you stressing about keeping them occupied, I say go for it.

My feelings are basically that as long as what they are doing does not interfere with my family, it's none of my business :D

I don't see any problem with it.

Tom

I wanted to get some opinions from my fellow cruisers on this - we will be sailing with our 5 and 6 year old kids and plan on eating most meals with them. Usually when we go out to restaurants, I bring along my phone and ipad, as well as some small toys, to keep the kids occupied while we're waiting for our food. They know the rule that once the food arrives, everything gets put away and it's time to talk as a family while we eat. I've found that wait time before the food is usually where most of the whining/bickering tends to occur, especially after a long, exciting day. So here's my question: if you were sitting at a large table with us, would you consider it rude that the kids were playing quietly with toys or electronics at the table, as long as it was not disruptive (no sound on devices, etc.)?

Note: I did request a table for four, mainly because I know many people prefer to dine without children, and I respect that option. Even my (mostly) well-behaved kids can have their moments, that's for sure! :p

I think that you should expect to get that table for four. The dining room people know what they are doing. ;) :D

I think that you should expect to get that table for four. The dining room people know what they are doing. ;) :D

Agree..also the OP should make a point to check out their table location and size when they board..so any changes can take place if necessary and available...But I also think the OP has a good chance of getting their request.

No, I would not consider it rude. They're 'young' children they need something to keep them occupied while waiting.

Enjoy your cruise. :)

I think they'll be fine with the items on silent and quietly being entertained. Enjoy your cruise & don't stress about this.:)

I would have no problem with it. You know your kids best, and if keeping them occupied would allow the adults to converse and not disturb diners at other tables, I see nothing wrong with what you want to do.

When would it be considered rude 10, 15, 17, 20...? Are you going to forbid it when they reach a certain age? Old habits die hard. I'm not trying to be critical. I just don't know the answer. My kids weren't lucky enough to cruise that young but when we went out to dinner with or without friends and family, there were no toys. They were encourage to be engaged. In our busy lives, isn't the dinner table the last bastion of communication?

Just sayin'

Not rude at all. In fact its a great idea bearing in mind they will be "out to dinner" every night for an entire week! Some may feel it is rude and that you should be interacting with your children during dinner, but that gets old after a couple of days at sea LOL! :)

You may end up being seated at a table with other children. They usually try to put families with children together (at least that's been my experience). In that case, it would be good to encourage your kids to interact with the other kids.

I guess I would find it a little strange if kids were playing with their phones at the table. But I'd prefer that over them fighting or getting up and running around like my nephews do. :)

children playing quietly at the nest table are far less I distracting than loud, obnoxious adults.

When would it be considered rude 10, 15, 17, 20...? Are you going to forbid it when they reach a certain age? Old habits die hard. I'm not trying to be critical. I just don't know the answer. My kids weren't lucky enough to cruise that young but when we went out to dinner with or without friends and family, there were no toys. They were encourage to be engaged. In our busy lives, isn't the dinner table the last bastion of communication?

 

Just sayin'

Keep in mind that dinner can take up to two hours on a cruise...while I agree that playing at the table would be rude in most cases, I think it is pro-active to give young children something to do during the long wait-times during a cruise dinner. The OP states that the toys are put away when the food arrives, so I'm good with that.

It sounds like you have everything under control. I do not think it would be rude for your children to quietly play with the iphone or ipad at the table. If we were sitting at your table with you, it would not bother us a bit. Go for it and have a great vacation..

If I was a large table with children I would get it changed.:eek:

OP,

Thank you for thinking of your fellow passengers. Too many parents just ignore their kids and let them disturb others.

I would have no problem sitting at your table.

Don

My kids are young adults now but we did the same when they were younger - we had what we called a "restaurant bag". However, then it was coloring books and puzzles! Once they are a few years older, they'll have no need for it and will be able to just enjoy the conversation.

I think it is expecting a lot for a 5 and 6 year old to engage in adult conversation for 2+ hours.

Do what works for your family and enjoy your cruise!

I would not find it rude, but my personal advice (take it or leave it) would be to hold off on breaking out the toys to see how things go. A cruise is a bit different from going out to a restaurant, and the wait staff usually seems to enjoy interacting with the kids. So, I would recommend not immediately giving them the toys, but just have them, if you need them.

Also, we've cruised several times with our son, who is now 15. We've always requested a larger table and have typically been seated with another family with similar age child(ren).

My only objection to electronics is that a) they can make noise (which I know can be countered with headphones or turning the sound off) and b) they are distracting when flashing bright lights on them. The flashing lights on the devices bothers me very much... but then I have autism so that may just be me. I find it disturbing and can't relax when the kids at the table have a device playing videos or games on it. I prefer to stick with less environmentally distractive methods to keep the kids occupied.

Another option is to sign up for My Time Dining. That way you can definitely get a table for four (or a table for two if the kids aren't eating with you that night). Dinners tend to take less time too. I've never had a 2-hour meal with My Time Dining.

I don't think it is rude at all, if anything it is being considerate to your fellow passengers. I also have young children and we book MTD so we can have a table of 4 (or 2 if the kids go to adventure ocean). We also bring something to keep them occupied if required.

Before having kids we would always request a large table at the later dinner seating because we love meeting new people. Now I do not as I would feel awful if I was seated with passengers who requested to move tables because my children were at the table.

It's not rude at all. The others at your table will appreciate it. :)

You may end up being seated at a table with other children. They usually try to put families with children together (at least that's been my experience). In that case, it would be good to encourage your kids to interact with the other kids.

 

I guess I would find it a little strange if kids were playing with their phones at the table. But I'd prefer that over them fighting or getting up and running around like my nephews do. :)

Didn't happen that way with us one time. They sat us with 6 boys :eek: from 3 families, all from England. There were 8 boys altogether, 2 sat with the families. Finally around the 3rd or 4th evening, the parents invited us to sit with them and all the boys together. I must say it was very interesting sitting with the boys. I loved their accent and they were really quite good. But, of course, boys will be boys. :p;) They ranged in age from 3 to 16.

Gwen :)

My only objection to electronics is that a) they can make noise (which I know can be countered with headphones or turning the sound off) and b) they are distracting when flashing bright lights on them. The flashing lights on the devices bothers me very much... but then I have autism so that may just be me. I find it disturbing and can't relax when the kids at the table have a device playing videos or games on it. I prefer to stick with less environmentally distractive methods to keep the kids occupied.

I don't know for sure, but I don't think the games the OP was referring to would have bring flashing lights. The kids I've seen in the MDR on such games looked about the same as if they were reading a book or kindle.

But, it couldn't hurt to ask if anyone would be disturbed by the activities.

We took our "kids" on an Oasis cruise in August .... including our 3 1/2 yr old grandson ... who is known far and wide for not enjoying sitting for long periods of time.

We had early dining and we were in an area that had all families with children. We had a table for the 5 of us. He had a total blast in the dining room ... and loved the waiter, assistant waiter and the head waiter ... everyone went out of there way to make it very special.

I had dreaded dinner time ... but it was a wonderful experience. I can't say enough good things about both the Oasis and the dining staff. Jan