My first solo cruise: hysterically funny/tragic

I've cruised all my life, but suddenly had my fiancee split the day before the cruise. It was to be a honeymoon cruise, so I booked the Captain's Penthouse on the RC Navigator, a gigantic cabin the size of a house, with a dining room for 12, separate living room, foyer, several bathrooms, bedroom, and gigantic porch that went all the way down the port, fore, and starboard sides. I could easily have fit 100 people into this place. It is frequently shown on "exotic cabins" on TV shows. It had a private valet, and all premium liquor was included, as well as complimentary in-room meals for a dozen. The cost was $17,000 for the week.

To make sure there were no glitches, I paid full price for two front row First Class seats on Delta to Puerto Rico, the Port of Embarkation.

I figured with the marriage called off, I would just waste the trip, but about 2AM as I stared at the ceiling, I remembered on a prior trip on the Crystal they had many widowed/divorced 50-60-year old elegant women, for which the ship provided gentlemen escorts for dining and dancing.

I thought, what the heck, I'm packed, tuxedo-will-travel, already paid, non-refundable, and I'm suddenly alone, I'll go, and maybe find my next true love.

I got up, and drove to the Airport. The fun stopped there.

I dreaded the long flight alone, with the empty seat next to me in First Class, but also appreciated the time I'd have to think of how my life had suddenly changed.

Though I had paid thousands for a non-refundable, companion seat, Delta Airline rules were that if someone did not actually show for the seat, they could sit the seat, even though I had paid for it.

The flight was over-booked, so they upgraded an absolutely Diva male who had not flown first before. He monopolized the flight attendants the entire flight, chatting, demanding the free drinks, basically binging his flight attendant bell ever few minutes. I was in misery.

I got to the ship finally and was overwhelmed by the gigantic suite. I felt like Citizen Kane alone in his mansion.

I gathered up my courage, groomed, and went to the Singles meet-greet event. To my utter dismay, unlike on Crystal that had maybe 20 refined, elegant widows/divorcees aboard, I was ...the...only....single....on...board.

So at the party, there was me, and a half-dozen gentlemen escorts hired by the ship to escort single ladies. I thought...uh-uh.

For dinner, I requested a table for two, as I absolutely did not want to be stuck with a happy family reunion of 8, as I was still grieving the loss of my fiancée. To my horror, they sat a gentleman escort with me. To my great horror/tragic amusement, he then launched into his training and patented escort patter.

"So, what is the last book you read?" "Tell me about where you're from?" And on, and on, generic, pre-written questions, that would be fine if I were a single female looking for companionship, but I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but did not want to appear rude.

I took my next meal in my cabin. This particular cruise, because of the season and timing, all were married couples in their late 50's or 60's, and very much not into the party scene.

I knew it would be too lonely to do shore excursions, watching everyone else holding hands, so stayed aboard.

I ended up, just watching the calendar, praying for the week to end. It bothered me a bit I could not go to the main dining room without being pounced on, so chose a gambit where I arrived 30 minutes after the meal start, thinking then I could be alone. It didn't work. In a few minutes a flustered gentleman host came running in, obviously having been called from his cabin....and immediately the exact same questions began.

Now I understand, there will be grumps out there who will declare how they LOVE people and strangers etc, but I was grieving the loss of my fiancée, was stuck on a ship without singles, and having a 30-something gentleman host mindlessly going though his patter. Had it been a 60-year-old retired military man, professor, etc, then yes, it may have been interesting, but it was more like the tour guide you get on a bus in Europe mindlessly going through the patter.

I ended up not leaving the cabin.

It's sad, as (isn't it always the way), on my many previous cruises I had always seen tons of singles' activity, from the single's ballroom dancing (my style of fun), to the drunken poolside hairiest leg contests..not my style....but might have been interesting to experience.)

I understand, I could have gone to the front desk and explained I wanted to be left alone, but the gentleman hosts were only doing their job and were a nice as could be, and I didn't want to hurt their feelings or get them in trouble.

Interesting, as now, years later, I find myself again suddenly solo. I look wistfully at the cruises and wish I could pre-order one of the magnificent cruises I've gone on before with tons of wonderful companions and new friends...but also remember the bad cruises. I'd said 90% of my cruises have been wonderful....but I fear encountering the 10%. I can do anything, endure anything with a wonderful companion by my side, but facing it alone is daunting.

I remember many many many years ago, going to Antoine's in New Orleans with a group having a spectacular meal, looking over, seeing a sole male dining a gourmet meal and thinking....oh my, how lonely. Now, years later, I guess people stare at me eating alone.

i am so sorry about your failed wedding and it probably wasn't a great idea to do the honeymoon solo.

I am single and have been for the past 12 years. I am absolutely not looking for a mate- been there, done that. Just don't find being bossed around and/or ridiculed by another human being relaxing and romantic. I enjoy flying solo.

Cruisers are a great way to meet people. You missed some golden opportunities to meet other people, including the dance host, who might be fun to hang out with. They might understand your loneliness and have valuable thoughts on the subject.

If you keep thinking that you can only have fun as a part of couple- you are sadly mistaken. Travel with friends and if you don't have any- make some. Being standoffish is your problem.

I cruised solo last year and had an absolute ball. I got involved and had my trivia buddies. A couple asked me to dine with them and attend a wine tasting with them. They tried to get me to cruise on the Emerald this past March but it wasn't in the cards for me since I wanted to do Alaska.

Cruisers are a great way to meet people and there are plenty of single ladies on cruises.

I've been on my own for about 12 years also. I raised my kids alone and when they became adults I figured its time for me to do what I want to do. I choose to travel. I love it on my own. I read when I want, eat or not, have the bed to myself. I go on excursions alone and meet others there. its very freeing only having to look after one suitcase and one passport. I always share a table at dinner so I can meet folks. I always join my roll call so there are people to wave at in the halls.

I get lonely sometimes when the world looks like its all coupled up. but that passes. I have never been to a singles meet. its too intimidating for me. you were grieving and everything seemed too difficult. if you had gotten out of your cabin, you might have met someone. I find there are lots of single women on cruises. you said "I'll go, and maybe find my next true love". my advice is to take care of yourself first. get strong and healthy and over the hurt. a new true love won't make things better. you need to be better first, happy with your own company. that way if true love comes, you're ready. if it doesn't, that's okay too.

I remember many many many years ago, going to Antoine's in New Orleans with a group having a spectacular meal, looking over, seeing a sole male dining a gourmet meal and thinking....oh my, how lonely. Now, years later, I guess people stare at me eating alone.

Its all perception and your own feelings. I personally would have looked at that sole male and thought "how fabulous that he has some peace and quiet and alone time".

Solo and alone - only means "lonely" in some peoples perceptions. It has never ever meant that to me. I enjoy and prefer a solo life and I enjoy being alone in my own space. I can entertain myself without anyones help or company. I have never considered myself to be "lonely".

The rest of your honeymoon story - I agree - it was very uncomfortable for you. The fact that there wasnt a big number of solo's on board didnt help the situation or feeling.

Perhaps asking to be downsized to a normal cabin may have helped a bit (but its in the past and you cant redo it now).

I know many people who have taken a solo honeymoon straight after a sudden separation (one occured smack bang in the middle of the ceremony like a bad TV melodrama in front of us all) and perhaps their mindset was different as instead of grieving they made themselves feel "yeay I am free of someone who clearly wasnt meant to be with me - lets party". Another took their best friend to support them in their misery.

It sounds like "wrong ship wrong time" for you. Imagine if you had boarded and found a nice crowd of 50/50 split solo travellers and couples. The whole voyage could have turned out totally different.

I've been on my own for about 12 years also. I raised my kids alone and when they became adults I figured its time for me to do what I want to do. I choose to travel. I love it on my own. I read when I want, eat or not, have the bed to myself. I go on excursions alone and meet others there. its very freeing only having to look after one suitcase and one passport. I always share a table at dinner so I can meet folks. I always join my roll call so there are people to wave at in the halls.

 

I get lonely sometimes when the world looks like its all coupled up. but that passes. I have never been to a singles meet. its too intimidating for me. you were grieving and everything seemed too difficult. if you had gotten out of your cabin, you might have met someone. I find there are lots of single women on cruises. you said "I'll go, and maybe find my next true love". my advice is to take care of yourself first. get strong and healthy and over the hurt. a new true love won't make things better. you need to be better first, happy with your own company. that way if true love comes, you're ready. if it doesn't, that's okay too.

Well said....so true are your words..:o

I'll go, and maybe find my next true love.............. I can do anything, endure anything with a wonderful companion by my side, but facing it alone is daunting.

 

I remember many many many years ago, going to Antoine's in New Orleans with a group having a spectacular meal, looking over, seeing a sole male dining a gourmet meal and thinking....oh my, how lonely. Now, years later, I guess people stare at me eating alone.

I really think you need to start learning to enjoy your own company. I understand that you might have been ultra-sensitive immediately after the break up, but that was then and this is now, and you need a new paradigm that doesn't equate being alone with being lonely and that doesn't expect only couples to enjoy and have fun in the world.

On my last Crystal cruise (transatlantic last spring), I did indeed meet several solo women in thier 50s and 60s - some were widows, some were not - but none of the ones I met were escorted anywhere by the Gentlement Hosts on board (even though they did dance with the Hosts after dinner). Some dined alone, some (like myself) dined at larger tables with other passengers -- in other words, they were comfortable enough with themselves to generally be social and not need an escort or a one-on-one pairing. That cruise included one port stop where I did take a shore excursion, and I didn't see any couples holding hands, LOL -- in fact, there were more than a few solo women on the excursion.

Sorry to hear that your plans went so badly for you.

I just wanted to say that from my own perspective my honest opinion as a female ( in my 50's) everything you had planned sounds wonderful, but in reality I would have found it all very overwhelming, maybe that's how your fiancee felt?

I wish you well and hope any future plans have better outcomes for you.

I could have written this.

We sound very much alike.

I wanted to add that in 2006 I did do a cruise almost solo (my then 5 year old was with me). My little one was always with the kids in the youth program having a ball. I decided to go to the ballroom dance lessons and low and behold there were two dance hosts! Score.

Not only did I dance my butt off over the course of 8 days- these dance hosts were happy to eat with me and became my buddies. Nothing salacious or anything like that. Just three people who like to dance and have fun. All three of us had no significant others and just enjoyed being with like minding people. What a great experience. One day a little girl came up to me and said "You are the dancing lady!" This made me feel good because obviously she had watched me ballroom dance and I hope thought I was good.

I find that when you are solo- you end up striking up conversations with more people and learning a lot! It's incredibly easy to make friends on cruises as long as you aren't an obnoxious drunk or something like that.

Hi Brockwest,

Very sorry to hear about your wedding issues and your having to cruise alone. (Just for the record, I think what you planned was awesome and very generous and loving).

I have just started to cruise solo; my first solo cruise I met no one else who was solo cruising but had a good time with the people I met.

My next solo cruise I met an absolutely great group of solo cruisers who I now consider to be good friends; these are people that live all over the world. They are my cruising friends; I believe I have met my people. :p I feel very fortunate. We continue to cruise together. I know it is not easy; I am generally an introvert. We are also of different age groups; it doesn't matter.

If you are interested a big group of us solo cruisers are sailing on the NCL Escape TA in October 2015; you are more than welcome to join us. :)

Happy and safe cruising all!! :D :D

Oops, you are correct. It was Seven Seas Navigator who assigned gentlemen hosts, not RC.

Oh ,absolutely, everyone, the timing was off, which was the whole point of the comedic tragedy. I have subsequently gone on other cruises with new loved ones and had a blast, including one of the best cruises of my life.

I wasn't stand-offish on this particular cruise...I was wounded...and everyone, simply everyone on this off-season cruise were 50-60ish couples who kept to themselves and didn't mingle with each other, much less me.

Had I gone on a Crystal Cruise, or a Carnival cruise at the other end, I certainly could have found people to chat with.

Oops, you are correct. It was Seven Seas Navigator who assigned gentlemen hosts, not RC.

 

Oh ,absolutely, everyone, the timing was off, which was the whole point of the comedic tragedy. I have subsequently gone on other cruises with new loved ones and had a blast, including one of the best cruises of my life.

 

I wasn't stand-offish on this particular cruise...I was wounded...and everyone, simply everyone on this off-season cruise were 50-60ish couples who kept to themselves and didn't mingle with each other, much less me.

 

Had I gone on a Crystal Cruise, or a Carnival cruise at the other end, I certainly could have found people to chat with.

Thanks for sharing. I had a similar experience. I went to one of those all-inclusive resorts to Puerto Vallarta alone and didn't meet anyone as everyone was coupled. My timing was all off. If was just awful. But what I learned over the years traveling solo there is absolutely no guarantees; no matter how much planning or money you spend. But....those bad trips happen to everyone even to friends traveling together or couples, etc. That's just life. However, past travel experiences do NOT indicate future travel experiences. I've also had some pretty incredible travel experiences traveling solo. As Carol Burrnett once quoted, "it's not the cards we are dealt in life; it's how we play them." I think some of your decision you made on the cruise - actually made your situation worst, but that was just the mind set you were in. Yes tragic comedy and Yes, you coulda shoulda gone on Carnival or Crystal - but who knows - you could have had just as bad time as Navigator. Hindsight is 20/20.

First of all, I must say that I am deeply sorry that your engagement got broken at the last minute.

I gathered up my courage, groomed, and went to the Singles meet-greet event. To my utter dismay, unlike on Crystal that had maybe 20 refined, elegant widows/divorcees aboard, I was ...the...only....single....on...board.

I don't get this AT ALL. Just because no women showed up at the singles party, you decided that there weren't ANY single women on the ship?

Single/solo people don't show up at singles parties for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they didn't see the announcement in the newsletter. Maybe they think that anyone who goes to them are losers. Maybe they got delayed. (Once, I intended to go to a singles get-together after seeing a show. I forgot that there would be a huge crowd of people trying to cram into the elevators after the show. By the time I got to the get-together, it was five minutes after the starting time. Not too bad, I thought, only to be told by a hostess that it had been canceled because no one showed up. They couldn't wait five minutes?)

I have gone to plenty of singles get-togethers on ships and then met other single/solo passengers later on who hadn't gone.

I remember many many many years ago, going to Antoine's in New Orleans with a group having a spectacular meal, looking over, seeing a sole male dining a gourmet meal and thinking....oh my, how lonely.

Proof that not everyone looking at someone by himself is feeling jealous of him.

I had a similar experience- I went solo on the NCL Jewel and it didn't go so well. However, I didn't give up and tried the Epic and LOVED IT! And had a great time on the Breakaway as well.

I would recommend looking into one of the NCL newer ship because they have the studio lounge gatherings (and you can stay in a balcony and still attend)

I realized I chose the wrong ship, was not happy but got it right the next time.

I am sorry to hear about your week, because many of us here have been on similar cruises and often times there is no way to salvage the week.

The only thing we can do is make a change for the next time, which isn't a consolation of course.

Proof that not everyone looking at someone by himself is feeling jealous of him.

Yes, I laugh a little when I read someone say that......it always strikes me as a poor attempt at faking self confidence, pretending that any less-than-supportive attention must be due to jealousy (as in "I'll make myself feel better by pretending that you want what I have"). Well, I hope they're pretending and don't actually always believe everyone is jealous of them.....I mean, how egotistical is that?!?

I don't get this AT ALL. Just because no women showed up at the singles party, you decided that there weren't ANY single women on the ship?

Single/solo people don't show up at singles parties for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they didn't see the announcement in the newsletter. Maybe they think that anyone who goes to them are losers. Maybe they got delayed. (Once, I intended to go to a singles get-together after seeing a show. I forgot that there would be a huge crowd of people trying to cram into the elevators after the show. By the time I got to the get-together, it was five minutes after the starting time. Not too bad, I thought, only to be told by a hostess that it had been canceled because no one showed up. They couldn't wait five minutes?)

I have gone to plenty of singles get-togethers on ships and then met other single/solo passengers later on who hadn't gone.

***Well, darn, why didn't someone Tell me this bit of info....oh, that's right, I didn't look here first.

I had no idea that singles don't go to the single's party. I assumed if they weren't there, they didn't exist. I will say, I never saw anyone who "appeared" single...I only saw couples the entire time, and nobody gathered at the bars.

I have a very good time at single's parties, and mingle easily. I am absolutely a failure when it comes to walking up to someone at a bar and trying to introduce myself in a non-single's party situation.

Well, maybe there is hope for humanity yet. Maybe there was a lonely single female on the cruise wondering where the heck I was. :p

Okay, so now you can't go around saying that you went on a cruise that didn't have even one single woman on it. (Meaning not one unattached woman, not no women at all.) But really, you never saw any women at all who weren't with men?

I forgot to mention another reason there might not have been any women at the singles get-together. A number of people here have posted in other threads that when they intended to go to a singles get-together, they poked their head in and didn't see anybody and kept on walking. Maybe if all of the head-pokers had stayed around for a few minutes, they would have had each other's company.

When did RCCL start having gentlement hosts? I haven't seen one on any of my cruises

I've cruised all my life, but suddenly had my fiancee split the day before the cruise. It was to be a honeymoon cruise, so I booked the Captain's Penthouse on the RC Navigator, a gigantic cabin the size of a house, with a dining room for 12, separate living room, foyer, several bathrooms, bedroom, and gigantic porch that went all the way down the port, fore, and starboard sides. I could easily have fit 100 people into this place. It is frequently shown on "exotic cabins" on TV shows. It had a private valet, and all premium liquor was included, as well as complimentary in-room meals for a dozen. The cost was $17,000 for the week.

To make sure there were no glitches, I paid full price for two front row First Class seats on Delta to Puerto Rico, the Port of Embarkation.

 

I figured with the marriage called off, I would just waste the trip, but about 2AM as I stared at the ceiling, I remembered on a prior trip on the Crystal they had many widowed/divorced 50-60-year old elegant women, for which the ship provided gentlemen escorts for dining and dancing.

 

I thought, what the heck, I'm packed, tuxedo-will-travel, already paid, non-refundable, and I'm suddenly alone, I'll go, and maybe find my next true love.

 

I got up, and drove to the Airport. The fun stopped there.

I dreaded the long flight alone, with the empty seat next to me in First Class, but also appreciated the time I'd have to think of how my life had suddenly changed.

Though I had paid thousands for a non-refundable, companion seat, Delta Airline rules were that if someone did not actually show for the seat, they could sit the seat, even though I had paid for it.

 

The flight was over-booked, so they upgraded an absolutely Diva male who had not flown first before. He monopolized the flight attendants the entire flight, chatting, demanding the free drinks, basically binging his flight attendant bell ever few minutes. I was in misery.

 

I got to the ship finally and was overwhelmed by the gigantic suite. I felt like Citizen Kane alone in his mansion.

 

I gathered up my courage, groomed, and went to the Singles meet-greet event. To my utter dismay, unlike on Crystal that had maybe 20 refined, elegant widows/divorcees aboard, I was ...the...only....single....on...board.

So at the party, there was me, and a half-dozen gentlemen escorts hired by the ship to escort single ladies. I thought...uh-uh.

 

For dinner, I requested a table for two, as I absolutely did not want to be stuck with a happy family reunion of 8, as I was still grieving the loss of my fiancée. To my horror, they sat a gentleman escort with me. To my great horror/tragic amusement, he then launched into his training and patented escort patter.

"So, what is the last book you read?" "Tell me about where you're from?" And on, and on, generic, pre-written questions, that would be fine if I were a single female looking for companionship, but I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but did not want to appear rude.

 

I took my next meal in my cabin. This particular cruise, because of the season and timing, all were married couples in their late 50's or 60's, and very much not into the party scene.

 

I knew it would be too lonely to do shore excursions, watching everyone else holding hands, so stayed aboard.

 

I ended up, just watching the calendar, praying for the week to end. It bothered me a bit I could not go to the main dining room without being pounced on, so chose a gambit where I arrived 30 minutes after the meal start, thinking then I could be alone. It didn't work. In a few minutes a flustered gentleman host came running in, obviously having been called from his cabin....and immediately the exact same questions began.

 

Now I understand, there will be grumps out there who will declare how they LOVE people and strangers etc, but I was grieving the loss of my fiancée, was stuck on a ship without singles, and having a 30-something gentleman host mindlessly going though his patter. Had it been a 60-year-old retired military man, professor, etc, then yes, it may have been interesting, but it was more like the tour guide you get on a bus in Europe mindlessly going through the patter.

 

I ended up not leaving the cabin.

 

It's sad, as (isn't it always the way), on my many previous cruises I had always seen tons of singles' activity, from the single's ballroom dancing (my style of fun), to the drunken poolside hairiest leg contests..not my style....but might have been interesting to experience.)

 

I understand, I could have gone to the front desk and explained I wanted to be left alone, but the gentleman hosts were only doing their job and were a nice as could be, and I didn't want to hurt their feelings or get them in trouble.

 

 

Interesting, as now, years later, I find myself again suddenly solo. I look wistfully at the cruises and wish I could pre-order one of the magnificent cruises I've gone on before with tons of wonderful companions and new friends...but also remember the bad cruises. I'd said 90% of my cruises have been wonderful....but I fear encountering the 10%. I can do anything, endure anything with a wonderful companion by my side, but facing it alone is daunting.

 

I remember many many many years ago, going to Antoine's in New Orleans with a group having a spectacular meal, looking over, seeing a sole male dining a gourmet meal and thinking....oh my, how lonely. Now, years later, I guess people stare at me eating alone.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Your story made me sad. Are you okay? I hope so.

I could have written this.

 

We sound very much alike.

Indeed, similar writing style and vocabulary.

OP - you need to listen to the song " Drunk on a Plane"

I am a 68 year old female solo traveler. I never liked the idea of the male escort companions provided by the ship. It seems a bit weird to me. On a Princess California Coastal cruise last year my MDR seating was with 8 other single women of various ages, which was fine with me. One of my seat mates was a delightful woman in her 80's She had been a widow for about a year. You wore expensive resort casual clothes and was always impeccably dressed and cultured. After the first dinner she said "where are all the men?" "I don't mean to be rude, but i want to dine with some men!" She requested a table change and at later meals we would see her sitting with men having the time of her life. We would give her a high 5 and wish that when we hit our 80's that we are also as bold as she is. Life is what you make it and if you go for what you want you may just find it.

Diana

In the MDR tell them you want to be seated alone, no gentleman host. I have a great time being alone. Have had my share of romance and had the best. No need for more.