Am I crazy

So My wife turns 40 in a couple of years. July of 2018. I was thinking a nice surprise for her would be to send her, three of her close girlfriends, and possibly her sister on a cruise for my her birthday. I have some time to save and plenty of time to shop around ect.. I think its a good Idea, its gets my wife away( she loves to cruise) we haven't been able to for a while due to the fact we have a 3 and a half year old and a 2 year old and life is very hectic right now..I know some of my wifes friends would have some trouble coming up with the money for the cruise, Some of my friends think im nuts to pay for her friends and think I should go instead. The issue with that is we really have no one to watch the kids for that long so we would have to bring them with us, and that defeats the purpose of sending her on a cruise to relax if myself and the kids went with her..If I bought the kids I would more than likely get 2 cabins anyway.. Im sure it would make her very happy and to be honest I don't see a how its a bad thing to send her friends.. Am I crazy to think this way?

No, I don't think you're crazy in the least. Ultimately, you know your wife and what she would want better than anybody else, and if you feel this is something she'd enjoy then I say go for it!

That said, I'm going to make a small pitch in favour of you and the kids going with her - considering that they will be 5 1/2 and 4 by then, they will be able to be in the kids club, thus giving you a certain amount of time for just the 2 of you. Just something to ponder...

No, I don't think you're crazy in the least. Ultimately, you know your wife and what she would want better than anybody else, and if you feel this is something she'd enjoy then I say go for it!

 

That said, I'm going to make a small pitch in favour of you and the kids going with her - considering that they will be 5 1/2 and 4 by then, they will be able to be in the kids club, thus giving you a certain amount of time for just the 2 of you. Just something to ponder...

You may be right..but I just keep thinking how great it would be for her just to be able to relax and enjoy herself Kid free, husband free, Stress free..And to be honest I don't completely trust the whole kids club on board babysitting..I don't know why, I may just be a little paranoid, but I know my wife feels the same way..

I think your offer is incredibly generous. I think she will love it. You appear to be a very non-selfish person. She will be back before you even realize she left. Just make sure she does not come home to a stack of dirty dishes, loads of laundry and sticky floors!!!

Either way would be nice.

So very nice of you wanting to do this.

Keith

Sure I think you are crazy. :)

However, it sounds like a wonderful idea.

Would she rather cruise with her friends....or her family??? I'd want hubby with me, and the kids will be at a great age for a memorable family vacation...

I think it's really sweet and thoughtful of you!

Like a previous poster said - you know her better than us. If it was me, I'd rather go on a cruise with my hubby and kids. If you want to give her a night or 2 away with her sister and friends to relax - maybe a spa weekend? That's what I would prefer, then do the cruise with the whole family.

thats German for crazy

nice idea but I would say no

you start taking separate vacations and it might lead to longer ones

also would leave the kids..if her friends are close enough for you to contemplate paying for them to go with her surely you can work out something for the kids to be looked after for a week.

or you could sell the kids and pay for the cruise....this last one is just so parents will hate me

good luck

Do you know that her friends would like to cruise? Have they traveled together? I have several friends that do not have any desire to cruise. Will friends have someone to care for their children for a week? I think a special cruise for you two on one of better ships with a childrens program sounds better.

if my husband did that for me, he would be reaping the benefits of that for... years.

OMG that sounds amazing.

It's only crazy if you aren't sure it's something your wife and her friends would actually want to do, as others have mentioned. It's not any crazier for you to pay for her and her friends than it is to pay the same amount for you and the kids to go with her. This cruise is the gift you want to give her, this is the amount you're willing to spend (regardless of who's going) - I don't see the problem.

Just be forewarned, based on my own experience, that it could cause some discomfort for the friends who will want to go but be reluctant to let you pay for it. It can put people in a weird place where they want to go ... but don't want you to pay ... but can't really afford to pay themselves ... but feel like they should ...

Be prepared to suggest some way they can contribute without paying more than they can spend. For example, if they protest, you can say something like you're happy to pay for the cruise, but your wife would love a [premium restaurant dinner] [massage] [item delivered to the room] [whatever]. It can defray some of the awkwardness.

While I think it is a nice gesture, 2018 is a long long ways away. That being said, I would suggest saving up the money for it, even looking at times/sailing that she would like for it, but I can't stress enough, DO NOT book it as soon as the dates come out!!

I want to speak from a mom's POV 1st then as a wife on this one.

If I would have been offered this in the past when my boys were that little, I would have jumped on it in a heartbeat when they were babies/toddlers! Fast forward to this year.. my son who is turning 18 slightly before our next cruise, has decided he doesn't want to go. While accepting of it, as he will be an adult, it doesn't mean I like it!! This will be our first vacation ever w/o my oldest. And I mean even before my youngest was born (they are 3 1/2 years apart).

By the time this present comes around, your children will be older. Are both you and DW working? The on-board children's programs aren't much different than day care. I even say this as a stay-at-home mom for most of my oldests 18 years. It is much more scary for parents than it is for children to leave their child alone for the first time if you are in the case of a stay at home parent situation.

See, if it was me being offered this, instead, I would want to go on an Alaskan cruise with my youngest DS for my birthday and leave my DH behind! Sure he would be 17 in 2018, but still, he is my ultimate travel companion.

Others made very good points. What about her friends children if they have them? And more importantly, what do THEIR husbands/SO's think about this idea? I mean sure, some would say go enjoy your free trip, don't spend to much! But others might not be as willing. It also isn't just the matter of paying for the cruise also you have to consider. Travel to port, alcohol, girls days at the spa, excursions, these things well do all add up and can cost more than the cruise itself. Unless you are willing to literally pay ALL expenses, that is something you need to take into account.

I would strongly suggest even just mentioning it to your wife as an idea and see what she thinks. But like I said, don't book anything. Things can change constantly.

My children's first cruise was at 6 & 3. My youngest who had never been to day care in his life, never left the kids club! This also might be a different situation as it was a Disney cruise also compared to a less expensive option.

There is also the fact that all kids are so different, and all families are different. I have even told my children, they are more than welcome to come on vacation with us for the rest of their lives! Heck I will even pay the fare for just them (but they have to share our room :p). If they want to bring a wife/SO then that, along with anything on the ship is their responsibility when they are out of college.

While I would love the time alone, I would hate to take an experience of travel away from my children because our children are what we teach them!

I think it's a very thoughtful idea, but if I had to choose, I would want my hubby with me. How about splurging on a suite that would give you and your wife privacy? You take care of the kids, and send your wife off to the spa a few times. Try out the Kids' Club during dinner one night to enjoy a romantic dinner, and if it works, do it more. If you don't think that's a good idea, though, the girls' cruise would be a blast!

You know her we don't.

I know my DW would rather be with me and/or the kids (adults now) than with any friends.

and I feel the same.

But I know tha some couples want/need apart time.