GASP .... We're Ready to Give Up Formal

[Amuse Bouche]

I won't give up Formal night. I may just go for one tho.

 

We also never get the opportunity to dress up. And it's pathetic that society has evolved to this. Next, we should be morphing into fur shifts, like cavemen, only it will be faux fur :D

 

I have a photo frame that I stack all of our formal cruise photos in. Oddly, we keep getting better looking :p

But seriously, the photos are fantastic! Our smiles are wonderful, the body language between us shows we will be married forever, and they are just beautiful. I can't take a good photo to save my life, so I have wondered...why are these so darn good? Because we aren't dressing up, going to a studio and posing under hot lights. We are on a cruise, well fed, and happy.

 

I need my formal portraits. I want to be sure to leave photos for my grandchildren where they say, "Wow, Nana and Papa sure were good looking people who knew how to have fun!"

[Boytjie]

What Ruth said...

[Amuse Bouche]

If you can't beat them....

Those of us who object to the slacker people ruining our formal night should make a group suggestion to HAL. They should divide the dining room accordingly. The people in formal attire should get seated in the same area, and it should be the best tables. The people who come in grungy should be seated out of the way. That way, everyone gets accomodated, and no one is uncomfortable.

Also, if they made a point of getting a photographer in there to take wide angle full room shots, and then flashed them on the cruise TV, maybe those people would feel self conscious of what they are wearing.

[RevNeal]

DH and I just returned from two wonderful weeks on Maasdam and enjoyed ourselves greatly, as always.

 

DH wore tuxedo and I wore cocktail dresses for our four formal nights and we were happy and all was well.

 

However, it is clear, many do not think formal means them and we saw more shorts, t shirts, sneakers, sweaty clothes that had without doubt been worn all day and unwashed bodies with greasy hair than I care to see any evening let alone 'formal night'.

 

Done. We say 'uncle'.

We are ready to say........ no more formal.

I do not expect HAL to fight with guests as to what they should be wearing.

 

They are in the hospitality business and not interested in squabbling with their guests.

When HAL started describing formal as far less than anyone else would describe it, they gave up on formal.

 

What they describe is not formal so please......

 

Give it up. It's over. On smart casual nights, far more people seemed to make an effort to 'clean up' for the evening than did on formal night. There are far too many ignoring polite request to observe dress code to disregard anymore.

IMO

 

Sail,

What I gave up on was the argument and worrying about it all. Personally, I just ignore the issue, dress as I wish -- i.e., according to the code -- and go have a good time. If someone doesn't want to play along, that's their misfortune ... not mine.

 

As for people coming to dinner unwashed, with oily hair and reeking of sun-tan lotion, dressed in soiled shorts and t-shirts ... I gave up on that one, too. When I first reported seeing such more than four years ago, I was disbelieved by many on this board. When I <gasp> proved what I was seeing, I was vilified. None of that experience was worth what it cost me in personal, emotional, and fiscal terms, but I've moved on from it, learned several lessons, and am better for it.

 

My advice is to keep dressing up and you and your hubby wish, ignore those who don't want to play, and especially ignore these dress-code threads. That's what I've been doing for more than a year and it's made my life so much nicer.

[COLLEYBERRY]

If you can't beat them....

 

Those of us who object to the slacker people ruining our formal night should make a group suggestion to HAL. They should divide the dining room accordingly. The people in formal attire should get seated in the same area, and it should be the best tables. The people who come in grungy should be seated out of the way. That way, everyone gets accomodated, and no one is uncomfortable.

Also, if they made a point of getting a photographer in there to take wide angle full room shots, and then flashed them on the cruise TV, maybe those people would feel self conscious of what they are wearing.

 

 

Oh my..:o:(

[Krazy Kruizers]

Just my 2 cents worth.

Old time people here -- had to dress for work -- had many formal occassions that we had to dress for -- tuxedos and formal gowns.

DH still wears his tuxedo -- I still wear either a long skirt or 3/4 length skirts with fancy tops.

And we will not be changing our ways -- we are not concerned with what others wear.

[babyher]

Oh my..:o:(

 

 

 

 

That's exactly what I said when I read it :)

[Jade13]

Not to be argumentative because in general I agree with you, but airline baggage fees are more like $25-30 each direction, which means that for an extra suitcase, one has to spend $50-60 extra for the trip. We are a family of 5, which means an extra $250-$290 per trip if we took an extra suitcase for everybody. That is a lot of money for us. :D

.

 

My DH said, and I agree, you would just need one extra bag with a suit for the boys and dress for the girls. One bag could fit 5 outfits.

 

Btw, we are flying on a European airline and our extra bag will be about $60.00. The listed price is $55.00, but we have to pay in EUR since we are flying from Amsterdam to the US and there will be an additional foreign currency fee. This will be the cost for basically one gown, one suit, and a sports jacket.

[Jade13]

What I gave up on was the argument and worrying about it all. . When I <gasp> proved what I was seeing, I was vilified. None of that experience was worth what it cost me in personal, emotional, and fiscal terms, but I've moved on from it, learned several lessons, and am better for it.

 

I am not sure about the emotional or fiscal term/issue, but if I recall some were upset that you posted specific people/faces vs. more anon shots of the backs of people in the dining room with sweats.

[Amuse Bouche]

Oh my..:o:(

 

Gee, sorry if I offended anyone.

 

I guess I'm still reacting to another thread of this subject, where someone pointed out that their photographs from formal night (not the cruise photog ones) showed people all over the backround in ultra casual attire.

 

I can see how that would really suck. You have a beautiful photograph of you having a good time and dressed up, at the piano bar, or some other elegant place, and a guy behind you with a 3 day growth, sport sunglasses hanging under his chin from his earlobes, and a Cabo Wabo tank top.

 

It's only two nights a week.

 

And, you can bet that the marketing folks would never stage a company photograph in this situation.

[Amuse Bouche]

Well, I can't edit it or delete it now. I guess I'm an ###****.:(

[COLLEYBERRY]

I am not offended, I am just sad...that once again a thread such as this seems to bring out so much hostility.

 

I have never sailed with "unwashed masses" nor am I confused about the caliber of cruise ship I am sailing on ... it is mass marketed cruise line.after all.

My husband and I enjoy formal evenings .. only one CC has ever seen a photo of me.. maybe Sapper will attest we wouldn't ruin the back ground of any photo:D

 

However I firmly believe the most attractive accessory anyone can wear on formal night is a smile...I tend to bestow most of them for the guy sitting across from me and sincerely hope others in dining room are enjoying themselves as much as I am.:)

[sail7seas]

Not to be argumentative because in general I agree with you, but airline baggage fees are more like $25-30 each direction, which means that for an extra suitcase, one has to spend $50-60 extra for the trip. We are a family of 5, which means an extra $250-$290 per trip if we took an extra suitcase for everybody. That is a lot of money for us. :D

 

<snip>

 

 

I agree with the poster above who asked why you would be bringing an extra suitcase each for your family of 5? :confused: One bag weighing less than 50 pounds could certainly contain the extra clothes, couldn't it?

 

 

 

 

 

Could you estimate percentage wise how many men were in compliance with HALs formal night dress code? Or what percentage of men didn`t comply with the dress code. Thanks.

 

Oh, I don't know. I didn't really make a study of it but my guess would be:

 

Week One of our cruise, both formal nights, perhaps 40% of the men wore suits or tuxes. There was a fair number of men with shirts and tie but no jacket.

 

Week Two...... maybe a few less in the suit and tux category.

 

I particularly noticed out and around the ship after dinner so many people who didn't come close to having even tried.

 

I don't have an answer but my question would be how many traditional seating and how many who have flexible seating time dressed formal or did not? Is it possible there is a connection?

 

 

 

 

 

Sail,

 

I totally understand where you are coming from...

 

But for us other than cruise we really no longer have the opportunity to dress up or dress formally.

 

Back in the day DH had to wear a suit and white shirt and tie everyday to work and I wore suits or dresses and heels everyday. That's gone by the wayside to first casual Friday and now casual everyday. I shake my head at what some people wear to work. I do dress a lot more casual than I ever used to but on meeting days I make a point to look professional.

 

When we were young we even hosted a few Black Tie dinner parties just because it was fun to dress up and cook really formal food and get out all the sterling, china and crystal. I can't imagine doing that in this day and age. And our friends would think we have lost it.

 

Rarely do we get a black tie wedding invitation. My parents no longer belong to a country club that required men to wear suits for dinner.

 

So if it wasn't for cruising I don't think we would ever get really dressed up again.

 

Every now and again DH says no more tuxes for cruising but as we get closer to sailing date I see him getting his dress shirt sent out to the cleaner and gathering up his bow tie (the kind you really tie) and studs. He was even in a panic when his cumberbund when missing the night before we sailed. I of course found it right away.

 

For now we will continue to bring all that stuff along because we like making the effort. For those that choose to wear casual everyday so be it. For those that are dirty and sweaty there is no excuse at all and there will always be those going against the grain.

 

On our cruise in May no flowers for suite passengers - maybe HAL has given that up too.

 

Hi Foxy Terrier......

 

DH wears a suit and tie almost every day but still wears his tux on cruises. I know what you mean about 'dress down' workplace.

 

So far, we have never failed to receive flowers for the first formal night each cruise but we have stopped wearing them. I started to feel self-conscious about it and DH now wears his Mariners Medallion Pin on his lapel in place of the flower.

 

 

Ruth..... Yes, of course.

 

 

 

As to wearing a wide smile, again, of course......... A bright smile is wonderful but so are clean clothes. :)

We saw the folks wearing t shirts and shorts in the evening in the Caribbean and now in Canada/New England. Seems to be a 'trend'.

[COLLEYBERRY]

Well' date=' I can't edit it or delete it now. I guess I'm an ###****.:([/quote']

 

 

No you're not ;) by the way.. I think your formal portraits will be wonderful treasures for your grandchildren:)

[Nasmas]

I think the casual dressed down look is a sign of the times. We would never dream of showing up in church with a filthy t-shirt and cut off jeans, but I've seen it lately. I know the kids. Its not like its all they have. My mother would have horse whipped me if I dared try to go anywhere looking like that. We used to dress up to go out to restaurants. Now, it seems anything goes, if you have a shirt and shoes on, you're ok. I'm afraid HAL may be just going with the flow. It used to be everyone dressed for formal nights but not anymore. Its sad along with a lot of other things that are happening. Dressing up and dressing well always made me feel better.

[Gaucho39]

If you can't beat them....

Those of us who object to the slacker people ruining our formal night should make a group suggestion to HAL. They should divide the dining room accordingly. The people in formal attire should get seated in the same area, and it should be the best tables. The people who come in grungy should be seated out of the way. That way, everyone gets accomodated, and no one is uncomfortable.

Also, if they made a point of getting a photographer in there to take wide angle full room shots, and then flashed them on the cruise TV, maybe those people would feel self conscious of what they are wearing.

 

The clueless those who "Don't Get It"

 

Don't get it... That they don't get it.

[cruisun]

We decided to bring our tuxes on our b2b Nieuw Amsterdam cruise this past February even after experiencing a much less than formally dressed crowd on Noordam in January. We were very surprised to find an extremely "dressy" passenger base on both weeks of the b2b. I don't know what percentage were in tuxes vs suits but definitely felt a "formal" atmosphere on formal nights, and a well dressed crowd overall even on casual nights. The Noordam in January was more like S7S experience last week. I truly think it varies sailing to sailing, week to week, ship to ship. One never knows! We will continue to bring and wear our tuxedos as we enjoy it regardless of what others do, however on NA when the majority were "dressed" it did create a more elegant atmosphere overall that everyone seemed to enjoy!!!

[sail7seas]

We decided to bring our tuxes on our b2b Nieuw Amsterdam cruise this past February even after experiencing a much less than formally dressed crowd on Noordam in January. We were very surprised to find an extremely "dressy" passenger base on both weeks of the b2b. I don't know what percentage were in tuxes vs suits but definitely felt a "formal" atmosphere on formal nights, and a well dressed crowd overall even on casual nights. The Noordam in January was more like S7S experience last week. I truly think it varies sailing to sailing, week to week, ship to ship. One never knows! We will continue to bring and wear our tuxedos as we enjoy it regardless of what others do, however on NA when the majority were "dressed" it did create a more elegant atmosphere overall that everyone seemed to enjoy!!!

 

 

Thanks for this post.

Our next cruise is Nieuw Amsterdam and we're torn about continuing with the tux etc

 

Now you've given a new perspective. We'd feel bad if we left the formal clothes home and many were dressed formal.

 

Drat...... back on the fence again. :D

Should we or shouldn't we? :)

[iancal]

Dressy clothes don't weigh as much as others.....???

 

Well, by deciding to go casual and eat in the Lido I no longer bring a suit (or jacket/dress slacks) 2 dress shirts, cuff links, dress belt, 2 ties, and those pesky dress shoes that take up so much room. And no, after 35 odd years of business travel and vacations I do not need any hints on how to pack, thanks.

 

It allows me to very happily travel with a 20 inch rollaboard. Nothing to do with airline fees, we just like the freedom of not being weighed down with baggage. And it is the same 20/21 inch rollerboard that I will take in October for our 12 day Med cruise just prior to travelling in South Africa for a month.

[Karennella]

Those of you that enjoy formal dressing could think of changing to Cunard, where I believe people still follow the guidelines. American dress seems to be extremely casual even compared to here in southern Australia. I must admit that the dress code "Northern Territory casual" apparently means wear some shoes and a shirt. But in Sydney the bulk of weddings receptions are at night and dress is usually at least cocktail dress. Similarly at the races the young girls dress to kill.

On our last cruise my group all brought the clothes we'd worn for our kid's weddings and it was great to give them another airing. We always only bring one bag each as we tour first and need to get them into the hirecar.

[SwissMyst]

Those of you that enjoy formal dressing could think of changing to Cunard, where I believe people still follow the guidelines. American dress seems to be extremely casual even compared to here in southern Australia. I must admit that the dress code "Northern Territory casual" apparently means wear some shoes and a shirt. But in Sydney the bulk of weddings receptions are at night and dress is usually at least cocktail dress. Similarly at the races the young girls dress to kill.

......

 

One our MV Discovery cruise last year which was mainly British and then we picked up a segment of many Australians, everyone dressed up for dinner even on "smart casual nights". I got the impression they did this because it was a cruise, something special and they wanted to and not because they "had to". We loved it. And formal nights were really formal, if you can call guys in plaid "skirts" formal. Yup, they looked great dressed to the nines in their tartans as well. :p PS, you could tell the Australians had arrived because the chat level noise in the dining room when up a few decibels and well as the randy jokes! Great fun. Both groups were fantastic to share this time with. Love sailing with these present and former British Empire passengers.

[foodsvcmgr]

We enjoy sailing both Cunard and HAL.

 

Overall far more similarities than differences, the major exception being the dress code.

 

Those who enjoy formal nights will love Cunard - our two recent QM2

10 & 11 night sailings featured easily 95% of men wearing black tie on

formal nights, jackets & ties on semi-formal, and always a jacket even on casual. You certainly enjoy making the effort to dress when everyone else

does also.

 

But we are equally comfortable on HAL where I bring one dark suit and

a couple shirts & ties and wear golf shirts and slacks the remainder.

Go with the flow on HAL but the formal option is still out there on Cunard,

nice to alternate both!

[SJSULIBRARIAN]

On our two most recent cruises, Maasdam in May and Amsterdam in June, generally men wore dark suits and women wore fancy tops and pants or skirts on formal nights. Some men wore tuxes. There were a few couples who were casual. I too like to dress for dinner - living in the southwest, it is so casual that we look forward to a few nights on a cruise where we can dress up. A woman doesn't have to take four different outfits for 4 formal nights. I try to mix and match a couple. We will continue as we have. It doesn't take that much space in a suitcase. Barbara

[CowPrincess]

Sail you said:

 

Done. We say 'uncle'.

We are ready to say........ no more formal.

 

Will you also start responding to "thank you" with "oh yeah, no problem"? After all, that is now a much more common response than a civilized and appropriate "you're very welcome". :D

 

I'll be with the rest of the diehards, still dressing for dinner. See you all on "our" side of the dining room :D

[sail7seas]

Sail you said:

 

 

 

Will you also start responding to "thank you" with "oh yeah, no problem"? After all, that is now a much more common response than a civilized and appropriate "you're very welcome". :D

 

I'll be with the rest of the diehards, still dressing for dinner. See you all on "our" side of the dining room :D

 

 

I don't agree one equals the other.