Please be completely HONEST

[ducklite]

Whether anyone will admit it or not, they judge people on how they look. Now I'm not talking about things people can't control, like having disfigurations caused by accident or medical situations, that it a different animal and no one should ever judge a person based on something like that. I'm referring to the people who go out with hair that looks like it hasn't seen a comb in a week, eyebrows that look like a cave man's, dirty ragged fingernails, ill fitting or stained clothing--or worse yet, clothing so wrinkled that it looks as if it were slept in, the list goes on.

 

Let's say two people applied for a job. One had acne scars and frizzy hair that was pulled back into a tight bun, a nice manicure, and clean, well tailored clothing that fit her well, even though she was a size 14. The other was a super model who was wearing a ridiculously wrinkled blouse, pants that were too tight, and had "bed head." Both wore makeup applied for a natural look. They were equally qualified for the job in terms of experience and education.

 

Do you really think that the hiring manager isn't going to notice the care that the first applicant took to make the best of what she had and assume that her work habits would be equally neat and careful? That same manager is going to think that the supermodel is a flake and doesn't really want the job because she couldn't be bothered dressing in a professional manner. Yes, they are JUDGING, both positively and negatively based on looks.

 

The moral is that the way you present yourself to the world tells people a lot about you, whether you think it does or not.

[ducklite]

Was there a poll here ? If so, it didn't show up on the Tapatalk app on my iPad. I am now quite confused ... From the comments I can't really tell what was being asked.

 

Go to web view and you'll see the poll.

[ducklite]

I voted #3. My regular job has me in jeans and steel-toed boots. I have to wear head gear and this makes a mess of my short hair. Add to that the lack of plumbing (hello outhouse and hand sanitizer) at my job and there's no question I'm roughing it during the week! Sometimes I have to stop at the store or bank or post office after work and I feel I'm really standing out and not in a good way. :rolleyes: On the weekends, I like to dress conservatively and tastefully. I care that others don't think I look like a homeless person, which could be the case Monday through Friday!

 

 

I think people can tell the difference between a homeless person and someone coming from work in a job that requires various safety related clothing and equipment. It's no different than seeing people stopping into the grocery store who are obviously coming from the gym.

 

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

[Ehpride]

I think that people do notice how other people look, especially if it is particularly bad or wonderful. When I watched the opening ceremonies last night, I liked watching the costumes. I do the same thing with old movies. On the other hand, I also notice the woman wearing fuzzy pj pants at Walmart.

 

I think looking neat, clean and put together is important for me. I don't care if every person that I meet would wear my outfit. Obviously, we all have different styles.

 

I'm not going to lie and say that I don't care because I appreciate if somebody compliments me on something. I think most people would.

[FlaGrl4Evr]

I selected option #2.

 

The mirror doesn't lie. If I look in the mirror, viewing all angles and are happy with what I see, then I'm good-to-go.

 

.... With that said, I am not one that loves to flaunt too much cleavage or butt cheek. Sometimes less is more, but that's a whole other thread and topic.

 

Honest Opinion.

 

 

 

.

[mstigerlily18]

At the moment, I chose "I care how I look to everyone" but I am trying hard to gain more confidence so I can say I only care how I look to myself and maybe to my SO.

[cruisemom42]

I really don't feel like I can vote on your poll, although I understand your reasons for putting it up. I feel like you're mixing up three different things. To me there are big differences between the following:

 

1) Caring how you look and present yourself.

 

2) Judging other people based on their appearance.

 

3) Following requested guidelines (e.g., politeness and good manners).

 

 

I can very truthfully say I do care about how I look and present myself. I enjoy nice clothes, dress well at work, etc. but I also am not obsessive about it.

 

At the same time, I do not judge others solely on their appearance. I have met and am friends with people who don't really care how they look. For the most part I am talking about people who are perhaps brilliant academics or researchers or who just have many other interests in life that don't so much include being well-groomed and well dressed at all times. I'm not referring to anyone with bad hygiene, just someone who might not always match their clothing well or wear an unironed shirt or the same pants for two days in a row. Or maybe only runs a brush through her hair in the morning and doesn't think to look at herself again in the mirror all day.

 

I notice, but noticing is not the same thing as judging.

 

 

Let's say two people applied for a job. One had acne scars and frizzy hair that was pulled back into a tight bun, a nice manicure, and clean, well tailored clothing that fit her well, even though she was a size 14. The other was a super model who was wearing a ridiculously wrinkled blouse, pants that were too tight, and had "bed head." Both wore makeup applied for a natural look. They were equally qualified for the job in terms of experience and education.

 

Do you really think that the hiring manager isn't going to notice the care that the first applicant took to make the best of what she had and assume that her work habits would be equally neat and careful? That same manager is going to think that the supermodel is a flake and doesn't really want the job because she couldn't be bothered dressing in a professional manner. Yes, they are JUDGING, both positively and negatively based on looks.

 

The moral is that the way you present yourself to the world tells people a lot about you, whether you think it does or not.

 

Your example is pretty fair, but in the real world it seldom happens that two people have exactly the same qualifications for any position. Managers are always weighing many factors, and I can only think of one case in my entire career where appearance had a bearing on a hiring decision, for a valid reason.

 

I recall a couple of years ago, I used the head of my research division as an example of someone who cares little about appearance yet seemed to be doing fine in terms of career achievements. You rather emphatically suggested that she'd better shape up if she wanted to advance her career further. I'm happy to report that she has just landed a substantially "upmarket" job as the head of the European R&D division for the second largest food and beverage corporation in the world. She has not changed her appearance one iota since then. (But she has been responsible for significant achievements at her current position.) :rolleyes:

 

Regarding the third point I made above, I am a believer in being polite and following requested guidelines for dress (at work, on board ship, wherever). Especially on board ship, where guidelines have become pretty broad. Gone are the days when you have to put on a tux or a true "formal gown" on formal evenings. I'm happy enough to do what's needed to pass anyone's muster -- but I don't revel in dressing up or getting a special manicure or having my hair "done".

[ducklite]

I really don't feel like I can vote on your poll, although I understand your reasons for putting it up. I feel like you're mixing up three different things. To me there are big differences between the following:

 

 

 

1) Caring how you look and present yourself.

 

 

 

2) Judging other people based on their appearance.

 

 

 

3) Following requested guidelines (e.g., politeness and good manners).

 

 

 

 

 

I can very truthfully say I do care about how I look and present myself. I enjoy nice clothes, dress well at work, etc. but I also am not obsessive about it.

 

 

 

At the same time, I do not judge others solely on their appearance. I have met and am friends with people who don't really care how they look. For the most part I am talking about people who are perhaps brilliant academics or researchers or who just have many other interests in life that don't so much include being well-groomed and well dressed at all times. I'm not referring to anyone with bad hygiene, just someone who might not always match their clothing well or wear an unironed shirt or the same pants for two days in a row. Or maybe only runs a brush through her hair in the morning and doesn't think to look at herself again in the mirror all day.

 

 

 

I notice, but noticing is not the same thing as judging.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your example is pretty fair, but in the real world it seldom happens that two people have exactly the same qualifications for any position. Managers are always weighing many factors, and I can only think of one case in my entire career where appearance had a bearing on a hiring decision, for a valid reason.

 

 

 

I recall a couple of years ago, I used the head of my research division as an example of someone who cares little about appearance yet seemed to be doing fine in terms of career achievements. You rather emphatically suggested that she'd better shape up if she wanted to advance her career further. I'm happy to report that she has just landed a substantially "upmarket" job as the head of the European R&D division for the second largest food and beverage corporation in the world. She has not changed her appearance one iota since then. (But she has been responsible for significant achievements at her current position.) :rolleyes:

 

 

 

Regarding the third point I made above, I am a believer in being polite and following requested guidelines for dress (at work, on board ship, wherever). Especially on board ship, where guidelines have become pretty broad. Gone are the days when you have to put on a tux or a true "formal gown" on formal evenings. I'm happy enough to do what's needed to pass anyone's muster -- but I don't revel in dressing up or getting a special manicure or having my hair "done".

 

 

The researcher is a rare exception. With the job market as tight as it is, anyone looking for work needs to do everything possible to set themselves apart from the rest of the pack--and that includes their appearance.

 

I am not saying that people need to get expensive manicure with gel nails and such--in many cases I think they look quite tacky. When I say manicure, I mean well groomed nails. Either polished, buffed, or bare. If polished they should be free if chips and smears. They should be the same length with smooth ends. Cuticles should be trimmed as needed. This applies for males and females.

 

I don't get my hair dine as I wear it short, and there's not much that could be done except to possibly add some curl, which I don't care for on my hair. I do think that women with longer hair look terrific with updo's and must admit, I sometimes am a bit jealous that I can't wear a pretty style like that. Then I read about the drama of packing five different electrical accessories, Seven special lotions, gels, fixers, sprays, and such, and am very happy that my style is fuss free, but still looks like I've actually taken a little effort with it. :)

 

 

PS--I have several times had equally qualified applicants. Twice the one with better grooming and better fitting clothing got the job. Once I hired the person who grew up in the same area I did, because I liked her more as a person, even though she wasn't the best dressed, but it was for a non-public facing position. Had I been hiring for a public facing position, she would not have been hired.

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

Edited February 8, 2014 by ducklite

[RedHeadTexan]

I picked option 2 as well since I buy what I think looks good on me.

 

 

I can't say I think I look beautiful but it has to make me feel good. In the last 2 1/2 years finding clothes has been a real challenge. After surgery on my spinal cord I've been left with nerve trauma and nerve damage that has caused a bulge on my front left side. Very hard finding clothes that help to hide Mr. Bulge. Hopefully, at some point the nerves will regenerate and I will get back to some sort of normalcy.

 

 

I don't give other people a second thought.

 

 

I don't worry about what DH thinks either. Unless it's for some very special occassion, I would have to dance nekkid in front of the TV for him to notice something new.:D

 

 

As well you should, you looked great in all your cruise review pictures, espcially the blue dress. Meant to comment on you formal picture. Wouldn't you marry Walt all over again in that tux?:) There's something about a man, well, DH in a tux. Be still my heart.

 

 

 

My style isn't edgy, it just fits in to where I live. I love the "bless your heart" but I don't think too many northeners know what it can mean.:D

 

 

Did you see the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt I posted?;)

I did not see the quote, please share it with me. That was the tux that DH married me in 9+ years ago. I just love it on him. Marie is sending me a gorgeous gown when she gets home. It's the white Jovani gown and I will be wearing it on our next cruise for our 10th anniversary. Walt will be wearing the tux again.

 

One time I had to explain the difference between "love your heart" and "bless your heart" to a friend from Boston. She was shocked. :eek:

 

Lisa

[calliopecruiser]

I selected option #2.

 

The mirror doesn't lie. If I look in the mirror, viewing all angles and are happy with what I see, then I'm good-to-go.

.

 

Actually, the mirror can lie......or, more accurately, your brain can lie. In fact, our brains very often lie to us about physical truths, though usually for good reasons. Occasionally our brains give us bad information (such as those who see themselves as fat and try to starve themselves to death), but that's less common. What you see in the mirror may very well not be what others see when they look at you, but usually that doesn't make any difference in your life.

[Jackytar]

Depends on the line. None have irons and boards in the cabins but some have self-serve laundries, Princess and Cunard for sure. With the way I pack, I never have to iron anything so can't be sure about Celebrity, NCL, or RCCL. I think some line may bring an iron and board to use in your cabin and I'm sure someone will either verify that or nix it. If you just want something pressed, the per item cost is not much.

 

I probably will make use of the service onboard, except for mess uniform. That I do myself. "One man, one kit." :)

[slidergirl]

Don't know if I could pick…

 

When I go out, I will be sure I've brushed my teeth, washed my face, brushed my hair, have on deodorant… After that, it depends on what I'm doing and where I'm going. I have no problem wearing my yoga pants or sweats out in public. They aren't dirty and they don't hang below my butt. I feel no compulsion to put on makeup for fear that people will turn in horror when they see a bare face. I am perfectly comfortable going anywhere in my town in a pair of clean jeans. When I'm traveling, I will adapt my clothing to where I'm going and am always respectful of the cultural norms (Caribbean sundresses and shorts do NOT belong in European cities). But, I still do not feel that doing no makeup or just having basic brushed hair is tantamount to saying I don't care how I look or I'm sloppy - it's just me and I'm fine with it and I believe I look damn good.

My workplace has just put a rule in effect that all women whose hair touches their shoulders must put their hair back and up. I've never seen so many ugly "buns" on heads in my life. But, management doesn't care how it looks as long as it's up… Of course, "management" is all men :rolleyes:

[heyitsmejudy]

I know this will be difficult for some to wrap their heads around, but not ALL of us "judge" people at all ... Not by how they look, dress, talk ... I did my fair share of hiring for 20 years in the newspaper industry. I hired the most qualified, not the one who spent a fortune on clothes. I have many lifelong friends. I didn't choose them because they won beauty pageants, although, ironically several did. I chose them because they are decent, loving people.

That said, I agree with the "how you present yourself does tell the world a lot about you" part. Some people I can get a pretty accurate read on without having to meet them in person.

Edited February 8, 2014 by heyitsmejudy

[JanineM]

Hi Janine, it is asking if you care how you look....for you and your

partner?

For everyone?

Or you don't care how you look?

 

 

Thanks Lois! Funny that it doesn't show up on this app.

 

I'll be honest ... I don't quite understand the purpose of the poll.

 

Is the purpose of the poll to determine how much emphasis people put on their own and other people's opinions of their appearance?

 

If that's the question then I would answer that I care first how *I* feel about my appearance, then how my *partner* feels about my appearance (and even then there are times he looks questioningly at me and I just roll my eyes and ignore him ;) ). I couldn't give a hoot what anyone else thinks.

[FlaGrl4Evr]

Actually, the mirror can lie......or, more accurately, your brain can lie. In fact, our brains very often lie to us about physical truths, though usually for good reasons. Occasionally our brains give us bad information (such as those who see themselves as fat and try to starve themselves to death), but that's less common. What you see in the mirror may very well not be what others see when they look at you, but usually that doesn't make any difference in your life.

 

 

 

This isn't a Science class. It was a poll and a question on honest opinion. Opinion means that it belongs to me and can and should not be judged by others.

 

My mirror doesn't lie and I don't try to fool myself. Perhaps yours does. This was to be a darn opinion poll. That means we are free to give our opinions without being blasted by a way too judgemental poster who wants to give a slew of facts on the brain blah, blah, blah.....

 

:rolleyes:

 

I use my mirror to make sure nothing is hanging out, too short for MY taste etc....... I don't use it as a magic mirror to tell me something that

does not exist. And furthermore, If another cruiser looks in THEIR mirror and thinks that THEY look good enough to go out, then they do.

BECAUSE IT'S THEIR OPINION THAT THEY DO !!! So fellow cruisers, if you think you look good then GO OUT AND ROCK IT GIRL !!!

 

.

Edited February 8, 2014 by FlaGrl4Evr

[RedHeadTexan]

This isn't a Science class. It was a poll and a question on honest opinion. Opinion means that it belongs to me and can and should not be judged by others.

 

My mirror doesn't lie and I don't try to fool myself. Perhaps yours does. This was to be a darn opinion poll. That means we are free to give our opinions without being blasted by a way too judgemental poster who wants to give a slew of facts on the brain blah, blah, blah.....

 

:rolleyes:

 

I use my mirror to make sure nothing is hanging out, too short for MY taste etc....... I don't use it as a magic mirror to tell me something that

does not exist. And furthermore, If another cruiser looks in THEIR mirror and thinks that THEY look good enough to go out, then they do.

BECAUSE IT'S THEIR OPINION THAT THEY DO !!! So fellow cruisers, if you think you look good then GO OUT AND ROCK IT GIRL !!!

 

.

AMEN! I could not have said that better myself.

 

Lisa

[calliopecruiser]

This isn't a Science class. It was a poll and a question on honest opinion. Opinion means that it belongs to me and can and should not be judged by others.

 

My mirror doesn't lie and I don't try to fool myself. Perhaps yours does. This was to be a darn opinion poll. That means we are free to give our opinions without being blasted by a way too judgemental poster who wants to give a slew of facts on the brain blah, blah, blah.....

 

Apparently your brain has blinkers on it. So sorry to have bored you, but since you're not the only person reading, perhaps someone else will be interested in "a slew" of information.

 

Wow, it's a tough crowd here. No one TRIES to fool themselves, but sometimes they do it anyway. Control is an illusion.

[jawas]

It would be hard to vote because I'm between 2 and 3. I definitely dress for myself, and while I do snap up some of the trendier things, I absolutely dress in things that are flattering to ME and make me happy/confident about my appearance. I find if I'm not obsessing with how I look, I'm a lot more relaxed in most situations.

 

I don't know that I necessarily care if I look good to someone else, but I do care how I present myself - don't know if that's *exactly* the same thing. I just know it's human nature to judge based on appearances, and if I can give myself an advantage, why not?

 

Also, aging has had an impact on how I dress. Since turning 40, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with myself and my style, but I do wonder/worry about being age-appropriate and not trying to look "too young".:confused:

[FlaGrl4Evr]

Apparently your brain has blinkers on it. So sorry to have bored you, but since you're not the only person reading, perhaps someone else will be interested in "a slew" of information.

 

Wow, it's a tough crowd here. No one TRIES to fool themselves, but sometimes they do it anyway. Control is an illusion.

 

 

 

What exactly does "fooling oneself" mean ? If a person is overweight and feels that they look good in an outfit then they should feel free to wear it without judgement from those that think that a person must be model sized or else they are creating an illusion that they are.

 

The sadest thing that I ever saw was a couple of size that had their children on a shore snorkel excursion with us in Cozumel. The parents were lovely, educated and fun but didn't get in the water with the kids because they were afraid to be judged as to what they may look like in a swimsuit. It brought tears to my eyes to think that these great parents were losing out on a possible once in a lifetime opportunity to experience an event and make memories with thier children because there are folks like you that think that one must look in a mirror and see a perfect image.

 

Shame on you really. You don't bore me you make me ill for all of my fellow cruisers that are demeaned by looks, snears and stares because they are not picture-perfect in what today's society deems in-shape.

 

So Girls and Guys, if you are a person of size or just anyone who may feel that they do not fit into today's cookie-cutter world of " image " , just go out there and shake your A** and prove to all of the simple minded peeps that you are above all that.

 

Do not miss out on an oppoutunity to have fun and enjoy YOUR cruise that you saved up for. Go have a great time and remember that you can't please everyone but you can set an example for others that may just be waiting for one person to take a stand so they can join in.

 

I'm done with this subject. Please educate yourself on having respect for those that do not look " stunning and great" in your world. We are all beautiful, it's just in the eyes of the beholder. Get your eyes checked sister.

 

 

.

[ducklite]

I know this will be difficult for some to wrap their heads around, but not ALL of us "judge" people at all ... Not by how they look, dress, talk ... I did my fair share of hiring for 20 years in the newspaper industry. I hired the most qualified, not the one who spent a fortune on clothes. I have many lifelong friends. I didn't choose them because they won beauty pageants, although, ironically several did. I chose them because they are decent, loving people.

That said, I agree with the "how you present yourself does tell the world a lot about you" part. Some people I can get a pretty accurate read on without having to meet them in person.

 

 

You did judge them based on where they went to college or any number of other factors. Judging isn't always a negative thing, and all hiring managers judge as part of their job duties.

 

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

[Lois R]

Thanks Lois! Funny that it doesn't show up on this app.

 

I'll be honest ... I don't quite understand the purpose of the poll.

 

Is the purpose of the poll to determine how much emphasis people put on their own and other people's opinions of their appearance?

 

If that's the question then I would answer that I care first how *I* feel about my appearance, then how my *partner* feels about my appearance (and even then there are times he looks questioningly at me and I just roll my eyes and ignore him ;) ). I couldn't give a hoot what anyone else thinks.

 

Hi Janine:) there are lots of polls I don't get either...sometimes

my elevator just doesn't reach the top:eek:.....

As I mentioned earlier, I didn't vote.......

 

Today I wore jeans, a long sleeved purple top and it was chilly

and rainy here:rolleyes: and I brought a sweater with me as I was running

errands.....Did I wear makeup? No. Did I feel like I looked presentable?

Yes. I had to go make 3 or 4 different stops today and then went

out to lunch. The one thing I noticed.....most folks looked like they

were dressed warmly.;)

[heyitsmejudy]

You did judge them based on where they went to college or any number of other factors. Judging isn't always a negative thing, and all hiring managers judge as part of their job duties.

 

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

 

I don't think "judging" and making a hiring decision are nearly the same thing. Come on. Some of us aren't judgmental ...

Edited February 8, 2014 by heyitsmejudy
I realized it just isn't worth it :)

[PurpleHays]

I voted for self and significant other, but dressing for comfort would be my real choice.

 

I have a hard to fit figure. Hips and chest match in size, but my waist is big and puts me in a size much bigger. Most jeans are low-rise, automatically giving me a muffin top. I haven't found pants that fit. Even the low-rise require a belt to not fall down.

 

I also figure skate, so I have pretty muscular legs. They also make it difficult to find clothes that fit.

 

Because of my fit problems, I tend to stick with jeans and tees and am fully aware of my muffin top/thick middle and how it looks. Do I care? Yes. Can I do much about it? Not really. Not until the fashion industry figures out that all women don't fit their standard shape.

[LrgPizza]

I voted for self and significant other, but dressing for comfort would be my real choice.

 

I have a hard to fit figure. Hips and chest match in size, but my waist is big and puts me in a size much bigger. Most jeans are low-rise, automatically giving me a muffin top. I haven't found pants that fit. Even the low-rise require a belt to not fall down.

 

I also figure skate, so I have pretty muscular legs. They also make it difficult to find clothes that fit.

 

Because of my fit problems, I tend to stick with jeans and tees and am fully aware of my muffin top/thick middle and how it looks. Do I care? Yes. Can I do much about it? Not really. Not until the fashion industry figures out that all women don't fit their standard shape.

In case you're interested, I was checking out this website earlier today, and it has tons of awesome tankini swimsuits for that body style! Soma.com

[cruise kitty]

stuck between #2 & #3, I want to present a neat, clean, & reasonably fashionable appearance, but I won't give up comfort for it, & I can't stand some things that other women think convey good fashion sense.

 

So, you won't see me in heels, or pointed toes, ever, or anything resembling spanx or requiring spanx, :) I like my clothes pretty simple & classic, & I like my grooming to be the same. I like a pedicure & manicure, but with short, buffed nails rather than color.

 

I go stair climbing for an hour every day after work, & I have no problem running into a market in my work out clothes with my hair pulled back in a ratty pony tail. I have no problem seeing someone I know when I look like that.