What if you really hate your dining mates?

[iancal]

I do not understand this business of having to apologize or otherwise tell former tablemate(s) why you changed tables. Just change and be done with it.

 

You do not owe an explanation to anyone. Life is far too short to spend it worrying about what others, especially complete strangers, may say or think about your actions.

 

If they are obnoxious whatever you say will not make sense to them. If they are bystanders at the same table, they will understand and wish they had the initiative to do exactly the same.

Edited October 9, 2015 by iancal

[cruz chic]

I do not understand this business of having to apologize or otherwise tell former tablemate(s) why you changed tables. Just change and be done with it.

 

You do not owe an explanation to anyone. Life is far too short to spend it worrying about what others, especially complete strangers, may say or think about your actions.

 

If they are obnoxious whatever you say will not make sense to them. If they are bystanders at the same table, they will understand and wish they had the initiative to do exactly the same.

 

I guess it's a manners thing, at least it would be to me.

[sppunk]

I do not understand this business of having to apologize or otherwise tell former tablemate(s) why you changed tables. Just change and be done with it.

 

You do not owe an explanation to anyone. Life is far too short to spend it worrying about what others, especially complete strangers, may say or think about your actions.

 

If they are obnoxious whatever you say will not make sense to them. If they are bystanders at the same table, they will understand and wish they had the initiative to do exactly the same.

 

No kidding. You will never see these people again as long as you live, why on earth would anyone worry about hurting their feelings as you put yourself in a better situation?

[cruz chic]

No kidding. You will never see these people again as long as you live, why on earth would anyone worry about hurting their feelings as you put yourself in a better situation?

 

I often see people that I've dined with several times on a cruise. Hal ships just aren't that big. I'm not saying you should stay on a situation that you don't enjoy. I'm just being realistic.

Edited October 9, 2015 by cruz chic

[sppunk]

I often see people that I've dined with several times on a cruise. Hal ships just aren't that big. I'm not saying you should stay on a situation that you don't enjoy. I'm just being realistic.

 

Oh, true you might see them on a ship but there are a thousand others so you can easily avoid having any contact with them.

 

Like in life, on a cruise I do what I need to do to surround myself with people that don't piss me off. :)

[cruz chic]

Oh, true you might see them on a ship but there are a thousand others so you can easily avoid having any contact with them.

 

Like in life, on a cruise I do what I need to do to surround myself with people that don't piss me off. :)

 

I agree about surrounding yourself with people that make you happy. Sometimes it's hard to avoid people. On my last cruise I bet I sat with the same couple at least 10 times for breakfast. None of them planned. I liked them a lot and now we are Facebook friends but it wouldn't have been fun if we didn't like each other. Sometimes they were at the table when I arrived, sometimes I was sat later.

[catl331]

nothing like a couple seated at a table for six and then have two couples who are traveling together sit down and totally avoid talking to the first couple. What fun!

We like a table for two so we can eat at our own pace and leave to take in the nightly show. Also it gets tedious answering the same questions every night to different people. Where are you from, what job did you have, do you have grandchildren. Yada yada! Indigestion!

 

(Oh dear, I sound like a grouch!) just like efficiency.:)

[cruz chic]

nothing like a couple seated at a table for six and then have two couples who are traveling together sit down and totally avoid talking to the first couple. What fun!

We like a table for two so we can eat at our own pace and leave to take in the nightly show. Also it gets tedious answering the same questions every night to different people. Where are you from, what job did you have, do you have grandchildren. Yada yada! Indigestion!

 

(Oh dear, I sound like a grouch!) just like efficiency.:)

 

I think it's good to recognize that a table for 2 suits you. There have been times I wished people had gotten a table for 2. When people don't talk to anyone at a table it's uncomfortable. I don't mind being asked thise questions but I hate when people talk non stop sports. That is exhausting. I think I need to start asking to sit alone in the morning. Being around others a lot is exhausting.

[CowPrincess]

I do not understand this business of having to apologize or otherwise tell former tablemate(s) why you changed tables. Just change and be done with it.

 

You do not owe an explanation to anyone. Life is far too short to spend it worrying about what others, especially complete strangers, may say or think about your actions.

 

>SNIP<

 

I agree, no explanation is necessary. Quietly removing oneself from the uncomfortable situation and using the "least said, soonest mended" approach is my preferred approach.

 

We just recently had the situation where we knew almost immediately that we were not sympatico with our tablemates. We simply requested another table, and did not offer an explanation or excuses to the tablemates we left behind.

[roddonn]

We must have been SO Lucky……after 27 cruises, we've always had great table mates, with fixed or anytime dining. One cruise (fixed dining) we will never forget because it was so much fun we hated for dinner to end. One of our table mates was the back-up singer for Dolly Parton, who resembled Dolly and had her fantastic character.. so you can just imagine what our table was like! After so many cruises, I can relate many tales of table mates, and I'd love to…

but…..it seems we've had the best!

[CowPrincess]

The quote function has quit working for me, so I'm gonna fake it ;)

 

Roddonn said

 

We must have been SO Lucky……after 27 cruises, we've always had great table mates, with fixed or anytime dining. One cruise (fixed dining) we will never forget because it was so much fun we hated for dinner to end. One of our table mates was the back-up singer for Dolly Parton, who resembled Dolly and had her fantastic character.. so you can just imagine what our table was like! After so many cruises, I can relate many tales of table mates, and I'd love to…

but…..it seems we've had the best!

 

That sounds wonderful :D We have, overall, had great dinner tables, too. So much so that often, our best memories of a cruise are about our dinner companions. Last time, not so much .... and for my DH to be immediately concerned spoke volumes to me. It all worked out, though, and we joined a fantastic table for the balance of the cruise.

[cruz chic]

I don't think that going to or not going to meet and greets is the be all and end all. I think I've met more people casually on the ship that ended up being better and long term friends. Sometimes you meet people thru meet and greets that just end up being disappointments in the end. Fair weather friends. That's not to say that always the case. You can meet friends many ways.

Edited October 10, 2015 by cruz chic

[wannagonow123]

We usually have "anytime", but we tell them we will share a table. Our first cruise was on Carnival, and we had excellent tablemates. (This was when they only had assigned seating). One of the couples were honeymooners, and you could certainly tell it. We then traveled on Princess and were seated with a couple from New Zealand. We looked forward to dinner every night, as we got along superbly. (Table for 6, but the other couple never showed at all). Next was the coast to coast Panama Canal, where we were seated at a table for 10. First night everyone showed up. We told them we would not be there for formal nights, as we do not "dress up". After the first night, hardly anyone showed up and many times we sat alone. I know one couple switched to early dining. After that cruise we switched to anytime.

 

When there will be a wait for a two-top, we always share, and find ita wonderful time. Meet a lot of fun folks.

[iancal]

We have only changed tables once. But we would certainly not hesitate to do it again.

 

It has become somewhat of a non issue since whenever possible we go with anytime/open seating.

 

We have switched from assigned to open on those few occasions when open seating was at capacity when we booked but opened up when we got on the ship.

[G&G]

To answer the OP, request a different table.

 

First ever HAL cruise in 1982, assigned table for eight; six were from Holland and spoke Dutch at the table. At first we thought since the ship was named Holland America most passengers spoke Dutch. Thank goodness we were mistaken. We changed tables the 2nd day.

 

For the next 28 years we had great table mates but it began to turn and now just get a table for 2.

[Caribbean Chris]

Once years ago we were seated with a Chicago lawyer who said he was planning to self-publish a guide to cruising based on his travels and bragged how he scored free cruises by telling the cruise lines he was a "travel writer". His wife gleefully went on and on about how they liked to "test" the staff, for example by repeatedly calling for more towels they didn't need, by sending food back or rejecting wines. This charming pair speared food from each others' plates, commented to the rest of us about everything they ate, made off-color comments and loudly dominated the conversation.

 

If that ever happened to me again, I would leave before dessert rather than waste 20 more minutes of my life. Those boorish people would never have noticed we were gone. Life's too short to waste.

[durangoscots]

I have used both open dining, and fixed seating, and my experiences have all been generally good. My worst experience came on a tour which featured a very nice luncheon. At the table where I was sitting one "gentleman" complained about how badly the cruise was run ..... we missed a port .... never would have happened if he were running things.... and on, and on, and on. We also learned how important he was, what a major business he ran, how much money he made and what a wheeler dealer he was.... As I finished lunch and got ready to flee I said... "you amaze me. You are telling us all this and you have no idea who we are.".... then I dashed off. I am told by some of the people that remained that he was quiet for the rest of the meal.

 

Susan

 

P.S. I mainly do longer cruises and I find that tables often shift a bit as people leave after segments, new people come on, people make new friends, and sometimes people just get tired. And, sometimes we all stick together and have a great time for the whole shebang. Nothing to worry about.

[socalcruisers2]

For me, I would run, not walk, to the Dining Room Manager immediately after dinner the first night, if I got the feeling things were not going well. He will most likely be down stairs helping with the Open seating diners. He will have many more options for you to choose from on the first night, rather than waiting until the second night.

 

Actually you could see the Dining Room Manager the afternoon on the day you board, to see what else is available. He should have a 2 hour window sometime in the afternoon when he sees passengers about dining problems. Check your Schedule. Tell him your TA signed you up without your consent.

Edited October 10, 2015 by socalcruisers2

[SeaBands]

but on the Prinsendam last year the couple at a 2 top started talking to us and we like them so we changed to a 4 top and did dinner with them the rest of the cruise. Found out we had a lot in common including some friends. We would do that again if we found the right companions, maybe at the M&G.

[durangoscots]

but on the Prinsendam last year the couple at a 2 top started talking to us and we like them so we changed to a 4 top and did dinner with them the rest of the cruise. Found out we had a lot in common including some friends. We would do that again if we found the right companions, maybe at the M&G.

 

..... as I said before - there is a lot of shifting about in the dining room, so people really don't notice. If you move because you are uncomfortable with your table mates, someone else will take your place. If they move then the Manager knows he has a problem. Shifting about is no big deal.

 

Susan

[GUT2407]

My dining companion usually hates me.

 

But then we get a 2 top most of the time.

 

But in honesty ask to change, it's really not that hard.

[riiso1004]

In 2012, we took our first Transatlantic from Ft. Lauderdale to Copenhagen. We connected with nice couple, before hand on CC, who had early traditional dining, we had anytime. They had several couples who didn't show up most nights, and they always wanted us to join them. Well, we did, but only a few times, because a couple from Texas, were really opinionated and rude; always preaching about how great Texas is and putting down my home state of California. Until one night, I got a little upset when the wife said something like. "the teachers in CA want everything for free". The whole table stopped talking and looked at her with their mouths open! The lady sitting next to her, was a teacher from VA, eyes just about popped out of her head, and my daughters a teacher here in CA. I must have had thunder on my face when I said, "Oh. you think so, well my daughters a teacher, she works about 60 hours a week at school preparing lessons, talking with parents, going to meetings, etc., then she works on most Saturdays, and brings home lessons and papers to grade on the rest of the weekend. Oh yeah, summer break is about week or 2 for her, she has to have the room cleaned and decorated, lesson plans prepared and submitted for approval by the school board, and then there's the liability, she faces everyday. sweet little kids want to hug her, and kiss her, but she can't let them, or it might be misunderstood by parents, the child or the school board. YOU should get your facts straight before you may a statement like that!". The whole table just smiled with approval, and we went on to have a nice dinner, but we didn't join our friends again after that. I really don't like to listen a bunch of opinionated brain dead people when I'm on a vacation. Oh, she had made other statements, on another night, out of the blue, like "Texas was a Republic before it was a state." and I said, "So what, California was too, and so were some other states, nothing too special about that! People should really think before they speak! I think she just wanted attention from the table, because she would just pop out with something totally different from the conversions around the table of 8. That trip we had more than several cruisers telling us about all the wrong things with CA, until I said, "Do you live there? Have you ever lived there? No, then how can you criticize us when you don't know what you're talking about!"

[iancal]

Our perspective is that if you are sitting at a table with tablemates that you do not like or resent their opinions/topics of conversations then it is your problem.

 

You may decide to stay, grit your teeth, smile and do nothing. Or speak to the maître d' and get a new table, or dine in another venue.

 

If you do not move, then the issue becomes yours, not theirs. We would rather exit stage left than have a bunch of stories to tell about terrible table mates.

 

Fortunately it only happened to us once. It took all of five minutes to be re-assigned to another, much happier table.

Edited October 11, 2015 by iancal

[SetAnOpenCourse]

Humor early on goes a long way. If anyone at the table has the gift of telling a joke, or relaying an amusing anecdote, or even a good-natured quip, I think the people sense a potential comraderie. Wish I had the gift! I think if a table dissolves it's sometimes a group effort; the surly one who would have been diffused with humor isn't a lost cause. I guess a four-top is more challenging, though, than a larger table.

[CowPrincess]

Humor early on goes a long way. If anyone at the table has the gift of telling a joke, or relaying an amusing anecdote, or even a good-natured quip, I think the people sense a potential comraderie. Wish I had the gift! I think if a table dissolves it's sometimes a group effort; the surly one who would have been diffused with humor isn't a lost cause. I guess a four-top is more challenging, though, than a larger table.

 

It doesn't have to be someone who is surly. We've had lunch in the MDR at 4 tops and larger tables, and if there was an issue with any of the tablemates, it was never surliness. Boastful, homophobic, racist, classist, socially inappropriate (no, I'm not getting into details on that one.... ;) ) -- those are the terms I would apply to some people with whom we have shared only a lunch table. None of them were surly, but I would not have wanted to share a dining table with them for the length of a cruise. Or (to be honest) more than that one meal.

 

I did "sort out" one of our dinner tablemates one night, about 3 nights into a cruise, when he started with homophobic comments. It was a decent enough table, overall, and we didn't want to move, but I was not prepared to listen to his ignorance.