Traveling solo - reading during meals

[calliopecruiser]

Have any of you thought about the diminished food enjoyment while concentrating on your book? Try it.To fully appreciate a good meal, put the book away or stay home.

 

Is there diminished food enjoyment if you're concentrating on a conversation with a table mate? Maybe laughing at a joke or listening to an interesting recap of the day's events is detrimental to enjoying and digesting good food. Perhaps people shouldn't eat with others in order to fully appreciate a good meal!

[Newatt]

Guess I grew up in the burbs where it was bad manners whether dining alone or with others to read while eating. Have any of you thought about the diminished food enjoyment while concentrating on your book? Try it.To fully appreciate a good meal, put the book away or stay home.

 

I think telling me to "stay home" is much higher on the rudeness scale than reading at the table!

 

Thanks for sharing though. I had no idea people would feel so strongly about what another person does. In my opinion, my reading has zero impact on my table-mates (most of whom I'll never see again).

 

I will definitely try to get a table for one!

[perditax]

I think telling me to "stay home" is much higher on the rudeness scale than reading at the table!

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing though. I had no idea people would feel so strongly about what another person does. In my opinion, my reading has zero impact on my table-mates (most of whom I'll never see again).

 

 

 

I will definitely try to get a table for one!

 

 

Oh dear lord, I hope you and everyone else ignore that post. That was rude. Reading quietly is not. At least the poster provided us with a great contrasting example.

[capriccio]

That's a good suggestion. I've asked for a table for one many times and was told "no" by the waiter. I will be much firmer next time!

 

Given that you have paid the solo fare for the cruise, you probably already 'bought' that second seat at a 2 top. Stand firm!

[euro cruiser]

they can choose to NOT dine at a large table but as i said on our last cruise they were VERY reluctant to seat anyone at the 2 tops

The first time I am refused a table to myself will be the last time I cruise on that line. It's unacceptable, if there are unoccupied tables, to be told "no, you must eat with others". The buffet is not an acceptable alternative for me, I only eat there when there is no sit down meal option.

[moniquet]

Seems courtesy is becoming a 'lost art'.

Some of the social isolation of not speaking in person but by text and e-mail; keeping one's eyes fixed on smart phones, working on line......

 

People are forgetting (or never learning) how to politely interact with others.

 

Absolutely. I find it interesting to people watch on occasions I have dined alone. If I wanted to read I would have room service.

 

I did notice on our December cruise couples and even whole families occupied on their phones at dinner. Sad.

[Warm Breezes]

Absolutely. I find it interesting to people watch on occasions I have dined alone. If I wanted to read I would have room service.

 

I did notice on our December cruise couples and even whole families occupied on their phones at dinner. Sad.

 

So people watching is a more courteous and polite than reading when you are dining on your own? Sorry, can't agree with you there. I do agree that when you are dining with your friends and family the constant phone usage not only at the table but when you are visiting with them is rude. An occasional check is ok but having your phone constantly in your hand and paying more attention to it than your family and friends defeats the purpose of the occasion. However, that is not the same as traveling solo amongst strangers.

 

I usually take my lunch break from work at a restaurant and spend that time sitting at a table by myself reading. I would have no problem with doing that on a cruise if I were to cruise solo. I would be uncomfortable doing it at a table with others so I would ask to be seated by myself, but would have no issue with someone else doing it my table if I choose to sit with others (which I wouldn't).

Edited January 28, 2016 by Warm Breezes

[sail7seas]

There seems to be an under riding theme here and that is 'people I'll never see again'. I don't know exactly what anyone who uses that phrase means but it implies we don't have to be polite or use good manners unless there are people we know or care about present. If it is only 'people I'll never see again', why bother to drag out good manners and courtesy?

 

Does that sum up the issue?

 

[Warm Breezes]

There seems to be an under riding theme here and that is 'people I'll never see again'. I don't know exactly what anyone who uses that phrase means but it implies we don't have to be polite or use good manners unless there are people we know or care about present. If it is only 'people I'll never see again', why bother to drag out good manners and courtesy?

 

Does that sum up the issue?

 

 

So let's clarify first. Do you believe it is rude for someone traveling solo sitting at a table on their own to read during their breakfast or dinner or is it just the people who join a group table and then read during their breakfast or dinner? There is a difference. I would do the first and would not consider it rude of anyone else to do so. I would not do the second because it would make me uncomfortable with others there....but I would not be offended if someone else at my table did so. Others are more easily offended which is why it would make me uncomfortable to do so myself...and also why I would make sure I was sitting at a table for one.

[sail7seas]

No, I definitely do not think it rude if a solo sitting alone at a table chooses to read during a meal. They are impacting no one by doing that.

[Newatt]

There seems to be an under riding theme here and that is 'people I'll never see again'. I don't know exactly what anyone who uses that phrase means but it implies we don't have to be polite or use good manners unless there are people we know or care about present. If it is only 'people I'll never see again', why bother to drag out good manners and courtesy?

 

Does that sum up the issue?

 

 

We are all entitled to our opinions. I disagree with yours. We have a different standard for polite social comportment. I will make some polite small talk and then ask if anyone minds if I read my book. As long as no one does, I feel I have met my standard for polite social comportment. Since we'll never see each other again, I doubt my tablemates will be concerned about forging a bond with me over breakfast/lunch. I don't "drag out good manners and courtesy". I display them all the time. We have different ideas on what that means. That's okay - variety is the spice if life.

[Newatt]

Given that you have paid the solo fare for the cruise, you probably already 'bought' that second seat at a 2 top. Stand firm!

 

I will Capriccio! There were plenty of empty single tables. I think the servers were making it easier for themselves by bunching people together in large groups - less tables to clean up after breakfast. I was annoyed, but I did what I was told to do. Next time I will be much firmer about my seating arrangements!

[Quilting_Cruiser]

There seems to be an under riding theme here and that is 'people I'll never see again'. I don't know exactly what anyone who uses that phrase means but it implies we don't have to be polite or use good manners unless there are people we know or care about present. If it is only 'people I'll never see again', why bother to drag out good manners and courtesy?

 

Does that sum up the issue?

 

 

In my opinion, no, that doesn't sum up the issue. I think we all give more regard to those within our circles whom we know and love and we care about what they think. To give the same regard to a total strangers (and by that, I mean to care as much about what they think about what I may say or do) isn't typical. I think some of the "total strangers" or "people I'll never see again" comments come from the fact that you simply don't have a relationship with these people so if I'm sitting at a table by myself reading and a total stranger thinks that's rude, I don't really care because, quite frankly, I don't think it's rude at all! And if the OP wants to read at a table full of people and has said he or she will even ask first to see if anyone minds then to me it's fine and doesn't say anything about the person's character.

 

I've been sitting on deck before eating my lunch and reading and had someone ask if they could join me. I always say yes because space is at a premium and I smile and then I continue reading. I was reading when they got there and they knew that. Some may consider it rude that I don't put down my book to engage with them, but they may well have chosen to ask me to sit at my table because I'm reading and they don't want to engage in conversation with a stranger!

 

Another thing to consider is that what's rude in one culture isn't rude in another. When my DD and I were in Germany at a little sidewalk cafe having dinner, a couple asked if they could sit with us as there were no other tables available--something that's never happened to me in the US but has a few times in Europe. We said yes and they sat down and the woman immediately took out her cigarettes and started smoking. Where I'm from, that would be considered rude! But, apparently, where they're from it isn't. Or maybe it is and she was just rude, but I don't know. LOL.

 

I just think this simple question from the OP has gotten blown into a huge deal about someone's character and how they were raised. It seems some think that if you read while you eat then you're a certain type of person. It's really quite entertaining. :p I'm polite to my fellow cruisers. I smile and greet them if the situation calls for it. But, I'm not always open to a conversation with "people I'll never see again." ;) I don't think that makes me rude, it just makes me private. I don't snub them and I don't treat them poorly...I just may not want to engage with them and that's my choice.

 

Well, apparently I'm feeling a little ranty this morning. LOL.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

We are all entitled to our opinions. I disagree with yours. We have a different standard for polite social comportment. I will make some polite small talk and then ask if anyone minds if I read my book. As long as no one does, I feel I have met my standard for polite social comportment. Since we'll never see each other again, I doubt my tablemates will be concerned about forging a bond with me over breakfast/lunch. I don't "drag out good manners and courtesy". I display them all the time. We have different ideas on what that means. That's okay - variety is the spice if life.

 

While you typed those few sentences, I went on a rant and you said it much better than I. I totally agree with you! :D

[sail7seas]

Given that you have paid the solo fare for the cruise, you probably already 'bought' that second seat at a 2 top. Stand firm!

 

Good point !

[newatt_now]

While you typed those few sentences, I went on a rant and you said it much better than I. I totally agree with you! :D

 

I loved your rant!! Amen and well said. :0)

[sail7seas]

In my opinion, no, that doesn't sum up the issue. I think we all give more regard to those within our circles whom we know and love and we care about what they think. To give the same regard to a total strangers (and by that, I mean to care as much about what they think about what I may say or do) isn't typical. I think some of the "total strangers" or "people I'll never see again" comments come from the fact that you simply don't have a relationship with these people so if I'm sitting at a table by myself reading and a total stranger thinks that's rude, I don't really care because, quite frankly, I don't think it's rude at all! And if the OP wants to read at a table full of people and has said he or she will even ask first to see if anyone minds then to me it's fine and doesn't say anything about the person's character.

 

I've been sitting on deck before eating my lunch and reading and had someone ask if they could join me. I always say yes because space is at a premium and I smile and then I continue reading. I was reading when they got there and they knew that. Some may consider it rude that I don't put down my book to engage with them, but they may well have chosen to ask me to sit at my table because I'm reading and they don't want to engage in conversation with a stranger!

 

Another thing to consider is that what's rude in one culture isn't rude in another. When my DD and I were in Germany at a little sidewalk cafe having dinner, a couple asked if they could sit with us as there were no other tables available--something that's never happened to me in the US but has a few times in Europe. We said yes and they sat down and the woman immediately took out her cigarettes and started smoking. Where I'm from, that would be considered rude! But, apparently, where they're from it isn't. Or maybe it is and she was just rude, but I don't know. LOL.

 

I just think this simple question from the OP has gotten blown into a huge deal about someone's character and how they were raised. It seems some think that if you read while you eat then you're a certain type of person. It's really quite entertaining. :p I'm polite to my fellow cruisers. I smile and greet them if the situation calls for it. But, I'm not always open to a conversation with "people I'll never see again." ;) I don't think that makes me rude, it just makes me private. I don't snub them and I don't treat them poorly...I just may not want to engage with them and that's my choice.

 

Well, apparently I'm feeling a little ranty this morning. LOL.

 

 

I actually agree with most you write here.

 

It is the part you left out that I feel is most rude.

You didn't comment about being at a large table where others are seated and reading while eating. I have no issue about someone sitting alone and reading. I have little issue about someone reading, another person joining them and they continue to read. I have an issue about someone at a large table where others are being congenial and reading while they are present, eating and chatting.

 

[newatt_now]

I actually agree with most you write here.

 

It is the part you left out that I feel is most rude.

You didn't comment about being at a large table where others are seated and reading while eating. I have no issue about someone sitting alone and reading. I have little issue about someone reading, another person joining them and they continue to read. I have an issue about someone at a large table where others are being congenial and reading while they are present, eating and chatting.

 

 

As long as they say the don't mind having a "reader" at the table, in my opinion, it is not rude.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I actually agree with most you write here.

 

It is the part you left out that I feel is most rude.

You didn't comment about being at a large table where others are seated and reading while eating. I have no issue about someone sitting alone and reading. I have little issue about someone reading, another person joining them and they continue to read. I have an issue about someone at a large table where others are being congenial and reading while they are present, eating and chatting.

 

 

Because I wouldn't do that (but I wouldn't be sitting at the large table! :o). That said, if for some reason I found myself at a large table and someone at the table asked if anyone minded if he or she read, I would say I didn't mind and I honestly wouldn't. I guess it come from being married for almost 20 years to a painfully shy man for whom engaging in conversation with strangers was extremely difficult so I understand it can be very hard for some people. But, he wouldn't have read at a table full of people either.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Quilting_Cruiser

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I loved your rant!! Amen and well said. :0)

 

"I loved your rant" isn't something I often hear! LOL.

[newatt_now]

"I loved your rant" isn't something I often hear! LOL.

 

A good rant deserves recognition! Lol!! BTW, I've never read a book during a meal with other people at the table either. I always felt too uncomfortable. BUT I have summoned the Chutzpah I need to do it (if I have to) on my next cruise. Look out people!! I'm coming with a book and I'm gonna read it. ;0P

[Quilting_Cruiser]

A good rant deserves recognition! Lol!! BTW, I've never read a book during a meal with other people at the table either. I always felt too uncomfortable. BUT I have summoned the Chutzpah I need to do it (if I have to) on my next cruise. Look out people!! I'm coming with a book and I'm gonna read it. ;0P

 

Have book, will travel. :)

 

Speaking of which, I leave on vacation in 32 days and will be armed with my Nook and a couple paperbacks. I plan to do a lot of reading on the ship. And I'll be reading while I eat, oh my! :eek::p

[chrissyprincess]

I'd still think it rude if someone at a table sat reading and ignoring everyone around them. That's not social behaviour, and if you don't want to be social you shouldn't sit at a table with other people.....if there isn't a way for you to sit alone in the MDR, one should either make an effort not to be rude to others, or eat somewhere else solo. We can't always get what we want, but we still should be civil to others and not be rude.

 

I don't agree. But thank you for your response. I am a VERY social person and have no problems involving others in polite conversation when warrented. If I paid for a solo ticket to cruise, then I should be allowed to read. What if I am so busy at work and life that I have had absolutely no time to read and have been looking forward to the cruise just for that purpose? I love MDR food. I love the options and I love being served. Room service is NOT MDR food. Why would I have to settle on an interpretation of social etiquette? I didn't ask to sit with those people. I would excuse myself from conversation politely and explain my situation.

 

Perhaps the rudeness comes from those that are not understanding and unforgiving? Golden rule is always the best rule. I would not FORCE a person to converse if they were placed at my table against their choice. I think that is rude. I would make sure they knew that I understood and that there was no offense taken, please read away. See? Everyone is happy.

 

Now can I eat my dessert and finish this chapter? LOL.

[98Charlie]

It seems that the real problem is a ship or cruise lines unwillingness/inability to seat a single diner alone.

 

I seldom read when eating. But all comments about rudeness aside, I wouldn't want the background noise of table chatter when I'm reading.

 

And, yes, someone should not be denied the dining room experience just because they want to eat solo.

 

My 2¢

 

Charlie

[Treven]

So far, I've eaten all breakfasts and lunches in the HC, and dinners are split about 50-50. In the buffet I grab a table for 2 and lay claim to it by putting my hat on the table, then I go through the buffet lines, then back to my table where I enjoy my meal and my iPad. In the MDR I've never had a problem getting a table to myself - be it half of a 4-top, or one of the 2-tops that are so close together I can read my neighbor's menu:D. I certainly have absolutely no problem reading through my meals; I simply show up at the head waiter's station, with iPad in hand, and tell whoever's stationed there that I want a table to myself. IF they try to steer me to a community table, I flatly tell them no!, I want a table to myself. I always get what I want - in that regard anyway.

Edited January 29, 2016 by Treven