At what age did you give your kids "free reign"?

[BostonGal35]

the problem with the teenagers is that they are just plain rude.

my last cruise, there must have been a group of 10 that were COMPLETELY blocking a stairwell. I politely suggested to them that they find another place to sit/hang out. once they thought i was in ear shot, i heard one of them say, "whatever bitch, ill sit wherever i want!". i then encoutered an officer on the next flight of stairs down, and told him to say somethign to them. not sure if he did.

 

this mindless "hanging out" with no purpose is wasteful and annoying to others. these kids have no manners and have been raised to think that the world revolves around them. they have no care or empathy for others, and common courtesy is non-existent.

[Peachypooh]

Your town has a law stating when kids can be alone, and it's 12/13? That's crazy! Kids in elementary school here walk to school every day, walk all over town, ride bikes all over town, and by 12/13,kids are babysitting younger kids. I can't even imagine not allowing kids go to the park, or the balllfield, without parents hanging around. In the spring, our ball field are teeming with younger kids, who spend the day there, game after game (there are playgrounds, restrooms, and concessions). It's exactly like when I was a kid.

 

I guess that's why people have such different views on what age to let kids do their own thing. They come from all parts of the US and other countries where the societal norms and laws can be quite different.

[philip_eunice1]

I gave my daughter free reign when she was her husbands responsibility

 

 

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[FLSteve11]

the problem with the teenagers is that they are just plain rude.

my last cruise, there must have been a group of 10 that were COMPLETELY blocking a stairwell. I politely suggested to them that they find another place to sit/hang out. once they thought i was in ear shot, i heard one of them say, "whatever bitch, ill sit wherever i want!". i then encoutered an officer on the next flight of stairs down, and told him to say somethign to them. not sure if he did.

 

this mindless "hanging out" with no purpose is wasteful and annoying to others. these kids have no manners and have been raised to think that the world revolves around them. they have no care or empathy for others, and common courtesy is non-existent.

 

That would definitely be a rude teen, and there are some out there. You did what you could in getting an officer and hopefully they take care of things. But this is what you get when you have parents who are afraid to let their kids have freedom when growing up, afraid the boogeyman is coming to get their kids the moment they are out of sight. So the kids never learn to do things on their own, and to them the world does revolve them as mom and dad never let them do anything to learn independence.

 

The one thing I disagree with is with hanging out. That's socializing for teens, that's what they do. That's what they've always done. Teens in all eras hang out together. They can't go to the nightclub, can't use the casino, they're not allowed in other peoples cabins by parents, the teen room is nowhere near big enough for the hundreds of them onboard, so they hang out in public. Just like they hang out in parks, malls, etc, when they don't have a house to hang out in. To them hanging out is being with friends, I'm sure you and almost everyone else spent many times as teens hanging out somewhere.

[Peachypooh]

That would definitely be a rude teen, and there are some out there. You did what you could in getting an officer and hopefully they take care of things. But this is what you get when you have parents who are afraid to let their kids have freedom when growing up, afraid the boogeyman is coming to get their kids the moment they are out of sight. So the kids never learn to do things on their own, and to them the world does revolve them as mom and dad never let them do anything to learn independence.

 

The one thing I disagree with is with hanging out. That's socializing for teens, that's what they do. That's what they've always done. Teens in all eras hang out together. They can't go to the nightclub, can't use the casino, they're not allowed in other peoples cabins by parents, the teen room is nowhere near big enough for the hundreds of them onboard, so they hang out in public. Just like they hang out in parks, malls, etc, when they don't have a house to hang out in. To them hanging out is being with friends, I'm sure you and almost everyone else spent many times as teens hanging out somewhere.

 

I have encountered groups of teens hanging out and agree that's what they do. In some cases I think they are oblivious to the challenges of old age. I was trying to get out of the hot tub and two girls were sitting next to each of the handrails just staring at me when I tried to get out. I think they thought I could walk between them without holding on. I just said " I am sorry I really need to hang on could you please move just a minute so I could use the handrail" and then thanked them. They did it. For the most part I think they are just in their own world. That said, I do think that some teens can be rude but thankfully I have never encountered that on a ship.

[LrgPizza]

Regarding an issue with kids blocking the stairs.... I've had this happen, too. I said, "Excuse me", and the kid moved aside. It was like magic. I suggest the person with the cane try that before tripping and falling over someone, potentially hurting yourself or hitting them with the cane. Hope that helps!

[KeithJenner]

Regarding an issue with kids blocking the stairs.... I've had this happen, too. I said, "Excuse me", and the kid moved aside. It was like magic. I suggest the person with the cane try that before tripping and falling over someone, potentially hurting yourself or hitting them with the cane. Hope that helps!

 

 

 

The thing I don't understand with the hanging around on the stairs is why they keep moving back. Surely it must be annoying for them too.

 

I don't actually mind them being there as such, but just have a little look around and see where is the most convenient. That would surely save them having to keep on getting out of people's way as well.

 

I was in a cafe a couple of weeks ago and there was a group of kids who for some reason had sat right by a door. The place was fairly quiet and they could have sat in so many other places, but they had moved a load of chairs to this position.

 

Every time someone came through the door they had to move for them, and one bag kept on getting hit by the door. It must have been so annoying to keep on having to move, but they then sat back down again right in the way. It was fascinating to watch, I have to say. I just couldn't understand why they didn't just move away from the door.

[Sissaaaaaa]

My son was 11 when we went on our first cruise last year. It was a family cruise but he was the only kid. We let him go to certain parts of the ship on his own. After watching him a few times on the ropes course, we would let him do that, go to the arcade, and head down the waterslides. He knew he would have to check in with us and also we used the Iconcierege app to communicate. I know at long dinners in the dining room, he would get served first and then would be done before we got our entrees. So we would let him go to the arcade to play a few games.

 

There was another thread that I mentioned this and I was accused of being a terrible parent. He knew he had to check in and with our phones we could see how much he was spending. He even went over on the arcade one day and he came to us right away and fessed up before we could even mention it to him. He is also a Boy Scout and has had some training. I think it has to do with the maturity of the kid, the ground rules you set and reminding them of not doing stupid stuff. He also knew full well of the consequences if he screwed up.

 

He was never gone more than an hour and he knew where we would be at all times. We wouldn't leave our location without him coming back etc.

 

I don't think you are a terrible parent. I didn't allow it at 11, but I also think it's different when you have a daughter. Who knows. The bottom line is, we all do what we think it best for our own children, and that's really all we can do.

[Maddysdaddy]

My daughter (only child) is 12 (and was when we sailed on the Escape last year).

 

Over the past year, we have given her the freedom to walk to and from the school bus stop by herself, to come home to an empty house for a few hours every day (I installed a Nest cam, so I can see when she gets home/make sure no one else is in the house), and to stroll around the mall with friends and no parents. That being said, she carries an iPhone and I have the "Find my Friends" app activated, so I can see where she is.

 

Would I feel comfortable letting her stroll around the ship by herself at this age? No, I wouldn't - nor would I see a need for her to. If there is somewhere in particular she wanted to go/something she wanted to see, either or both of my wife and I would go with her.

 

Would I be ok with it, if she were with a friend who we knew (and not a friend she just met on board), yes - with some well defined limitations wrt staying in public areas/not going in or around cabins/checking in regularly.

[FLSteve11]

My daughter (only child) is 12 (and was when we sailed on the Escape last year).

 

Over the past year, we have given her the freedom to walk to and from the school bus stop by herself, to come home to an empty house for a few hours every day (I installed a Nest cam, so I can see when she gets home/make sure no one else is in the house), and to stroll around the mall with friends and no parents. That being said, she carries an iPhone and I have the "Find my Friends" app activated, so I can see where she is.

 

Would I feel comfortable letting her stroll around the ship by herself at this age? No, I wouldn't - nor would I see a need for her to. If there is somewhere in particular she wanted to go/something she wanted to see, either or both of my wife and I would go with her.

 

Would I be ok with it, if she were with a friend who we knew (and not a friend she just met on board), yes - with some well defined limitations wrt staying in public areas/not going in or around cabins/checking in regularly.

 

I guess that's where people are different. I have a 12yo daughter, only child, and she road to school on her bike today and will ride back on her own. Granted I work from home, so I know when she gets home. If she wants to go somewhere else (like a friends house) instead of coming home she calls me. I have no problem with her going into a store, oftentimes if she wants something and I'm in the car I just give her money and let her get it herself.

 

On a cruise ship, I don't worry anymore. If she wants to go see the movie by the pool, or run and get a snack or drink or do any activity, she is free to do so. I do like to know where she is going, but if we're not around she leaves a message where she is going. She's quite capable of handling herself to get what she needs on a ship, but then she's also been on many cruises and is comfortable on them.

[Eleteace]

I cruised at 11 and was free to roam and I loved it so much. Ha ha.

 

 

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[staceydm]

Just ask yourself this. Do you want to deal with other people's kids running all around the ship unsupervised doing god knows what, when, and where? Being on vacation does NOT mean you can stop being a parent. If you do not want to supervise your kids on a cruise then do everyone else on the ship a big favor and leave them at home.

 

AMEN! (and this is from someone cruising with an 11 year old who will BARELY be out of my sight.) I don't drink. I prefer to do family activities together. :)

[packer99]

AMEN! (and this is from someone cruising with an 11 year old who will BARELY be out of my sight.) I don't drink. I prefer to do family activities together. :)

 

I like to do family things too but there is only so many times I need to go down the waterslide as I get dizzy from too much motion. But I don't have problem with my kid going off for to ride down the slide a few times as a very good swimmer by himself.

 

I get the large groups of kids causing problems, but a couple of kids together off to do an activity on there own. Even thought its a family vacation, I don't need to be together 24/7 either. Plus I want to teach my kid some responsibility. At some point, you have let them off the leash even if its only for a little bit.

[staceydm]

I like to do family things too but there is only so many times I need to go down the waterslide as I get dizzy from too much motion. But I don't have problem with my kid going off for to ride down the slide a few times as a very good swimmer by himself.

 

I get the large groups of kids causing problems, but a couple of kids together off to do an activity on there own. Even thought its a family vacation, I don't need to be together 24/7 either. Plus I want to teach my kid some responsibility. At some point, you have let them off the leash even if its only for a little bit.

 

I don't disagree with anything you've said. IF (a big IF) my daughter had a friend traveling with us, then maybe I'd feel better about the TWO of them doing some things in public areas. But I face reality....my daughter is 70 pounds and still very 'child-like'...I guess I mean naive to to the ways of the world. As a parent, I would feel horrible if someone snatched her, or convinced her to do anything untoward. (I'm sure all parents feel that way).

 

And yes, you do have to let loose on the leash. FOR ME, 11 is too young. FOR ME. Some have stated their children walk home, stay home alone...etc. My daughter is driven to school, driven home from school, and has NEVER been alone in her life. For me to start letting loose on a cruise ship isn't feasible. FOR ME. But for others, it could be fine. I would never call anyone here a 'bad parent' for doing what is best for their family.

[mjkacmom]

I don't disagree with anything you've said. IF (a big IF) my daughter had a friend traveling with us, then maybe I'd feel better about the TWO of them doing some things in public areas. But I face reality....my daughter is 70 pounds and still very 'child-like'...I guess I mean naive to to the ways of the world. As a parent, I would feel horrible if someone snatched her, or convinced her to do anything untoward. (I'm sure all parents feel that way).

 

And yes, you do have to let loose on the leash. FOR ME, 11 is too young. FOR ME. Some have stated their children walk home, stay home alone...etc. My daughter is driven to school, driven home from school, and has NEVER been alone in her life. For me to start letting loose on a cruise ship isn't feasible. FOR ME. But for others, it could be fine. I would never call anyone here a 'bad parent' for doing what is best for their family.

 

My middle child (of 5) has always been tiny (at 11 she was 63 pounds, now 95 at almost 16), and cautious. I have always tried to push her out of her comfort zone in relatively safe situations (walking to school, walking the dog, staying home alone), because time goes fast. I blinked and my oldest were away at college, on their own. I don't want them to be victims, and the older two have found themselves in intimidating situations that would freak dd15 out. I only have 2 1/2 years left, but we are getting there. She still holds my hand if there are a lot of homeless around.

[cruisinmeme]

I don't give my kids 'free reign' at all. They are my responsibility and I take that responsibility seriously. That is not to say that I do not allow them to enjoy the ship, they just need to let me know where they are going and how long they will be. They know full well if they get out of line that there will be hell to pay. I'd never 'set them free' on the ship or on other passengers. It is not their jobs to watch my kids.

 

This is one of the best answers I have seen. After 23 cruises I have seen way too much.

Only thing I might add is- at what age are you willing to have something awful happen and you are nowhere to be found. Sorta like would you drop a kid off at the mall to hang out and go home.

 

We travel open with grandkids. In fact in 10 weeks we have a cruise coming up .age 13&15 but we still keep them in eye site . They still enjoy themselves and don't complain.

[Cyclops32]

I believe that parents are sometimes too afraid of the world. I personally was on my first cruise when I was 10 or 11 and I and several other kids did what we wanted.

 

I look at it this way. You judge based on the kid. If you think they will act properly and you can trust them then let them go along with rules you set. I know some people will be afraid of the big bad guy, but look at the odds. You have a better chance of killing your kid in a car crash then a stranger going after them. With the number of people on a cruise you are never really alone. A kid screaming and cameras will usually see anything that would go on so the bad guy knows he will get caught on way or another so no reason to try to drag a kid away kicking and screaming.

 

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[MizDemeanor]

The rudeness started with you. You "suggested" they go somewhere else? Please. Next time, keep your opinions to yourself. If you need to use the stairs, say "excuse me". It works wonders :rolleyes: Teens hang out. You did it as well at that age.

 

This makes sense to me as well. There is not a reason to be combative and the response showed a lack of respect because a lack of respect was indicated toward them

 

I am with you 100%.... a simple hi guys exsuse me so I can get through? No doubt in my mind they would realize they were blocking access and likely would apolgize for it. So simple.

[cb at sea]

No child under 17 should have "free reign". IMO....roaming kids are going to get into trouble. I don't object to kids being allowed to come and go to SPECIFIC things...but they should PHYSICALLY check in with you. Roaming is bad news.

[Lido_Deck]

No child under 17 should have "free reign". IMO....roaming kids are going to get into trouble. I don't object to kids being allowed to come and go to SPECIFIC things...but they should PHYSICALLY check in with you. Roaming is bad news.

 

Bingo!

 

Children under the age of 17 should have a curfew of 11:00 PM unless accompanied by an adult.

[MizDemeanor]

It's 1am per the cruiseline policy so Calm Down.

 

Or don't cruise on NCL. :cool:

[Cyclops32]

I do agree that the kids need to check in, but I don't believe you need to see them every minute of the day either. My oldest might get to roam, he is close to the point I will let him, but I will not make that choice until the actual cruise. He will have to say where he is going to be, He will need to know where DW and I are, and if he wants to change any part of it he needs to come to us and get permission to go to another place. I know I will check up on him every now and then so he will never know if I am going to turn the corner

[hladygirl]

While I have seen wonderful children and young adults on cruises who are well behaved and respectful, l have also seen children and especially young adults who are horrors on cruise ships. I have seen a lot of young teens drinking alcoholic beverages and wonder where they get them. I have seen kids very young hanging out in groups on the stairs and harassing the other passengers. I have also experienced kids at 1-3 am running down the halls, yelling and banging on doors. You have to continually monitor kids on a cruise ships especially if they have their own cabin.

[june123]

My son will be 11 on our upcoming cruise and since it will be his 6th cruise, I'm worried that he will be bored with the kids club. I'm thinking he's still too young for us to just set him free on the ship (and I haven't even brought this up to my overprotective wife yet :eek:), but it made me wonder how old kids usually are when their parents are comfortable doing this.

 

My husband is 60 and i still can`t let HIM roam free , he`s got a terrible sense of direction and gets totally lost on board ship . :D:D:D

[FLSteve11]

While I have seen wonderful children and young adults on cruises who are well behaved and respectful, l have also seen children and especially young adults who are horrors on cruise ships. I have seen a lot of young teens drinking alcoholic beverages and wonder where they get them. I have seen kids very young hanging out in groups on the stairs and harassing the other passengers. I have also experienced kids at 1-3 am running down the halls, yelling and banging on doors. You have to continually monitor kids on a cruise ships especially if they have their own cabin.

 

Not that any of that behavior is ok, but kids need to be monitor but when adults do disruptive behavior they're free to go? I have never seen any teens drinking on ships, you must have been on a bad boat, because ships are very strict on that. If they even catch someone giving an underage drinker a drink they will remove drinking privileges for that adult as well. While I've seen the occasional hanging out on stairwells and areas, I see adults do that to soemtimes, and have never been harassed by them. A simple excuse me gets them to move if they're in the way. And I have definitely had more drunk adults stumbling, banging into walls and doors, and yelling loudly down halls at 1-3am then kids. Maybe you just had worse experiences then me. I've been on plenty of cruises and the occasions of real issues I could count as a handful.