Pre-cruise planning meeting - travelling with friends

Hi,

Next March I am travelling with 2 other families on my first cruise. One family has cruised 2x before and the other has cruised several times.

Our 6 kids range from 3 yrs to 11 yrs.

We're having a pre-cruise meeting in a week or so to discuss details, expectations, our pre and post cruise plans, how to get to the cruise plans, etc etc.

I have travelled with Family A multiple times...mostly on weekend getaways. Family B I don't know well because they are friends of the Family A.

What kind of things should we discuss before the cruise? What kind of expectations should we lay out?

We are currently all signed up for 6pm dining. I'm debating switching to Mytime Dining and planning reservations pretty much every night for 6:30pm because there are family activities at 5pm that i know my family will want to do. The only thing is the other 2 families probably don't really care about those activities as their children are younger. We DO want to eat dinners together and their families definitely want to eat earlier rather than later. Anyway, I am still thinking on this one to see what will work best for all 3 of our families.

It's only a short 5 night cruise but we all definitely want to make the most out of it :) Like I told Family A, we are all spending a fair bit to do this cruise and we all need to make sure we do what works for our own families and still have fun as a group.

My previous vacations with Family A have all been "joined at the hip" type vacations. I know it's been the same when Family A and B have gone on trips together. I can't see that working out well on a cruise. One trip to Kings Island amusement park, my family arranged to go one day earlier to do the things we wanted to do and then when they got there, spent the next 2 days focused on the things Family A wanted to do because we all wanted to spend time together instead of splitting up all day.

Thanks!!

Would help a lot if we knew ship and itinerary.

I dont want a cruise joined at the hip and would not like to be expected to be on a schedule.

You might want to get some walky talkies if you think you might want to do your own thing a little more.. I cant imagine a joined at the hip cruise.

I might want to do the slot pull tournament at noon the first day, I cant imagine having to have 3 entire families trooping after me watching or me having to miss it.

The kids will probably be in camp on the ship, so it will mostly be the adults.

It worked out well for us on a cruise because we ended up never speaking to one of the families again. They totally hijacked a cruise we had originally planned. We tried not to voice any concerns prior to the cruise, which was a mistake. They annoyed us to death, even at home, and by the time we finished the cruise, not having to deal with them ever again was the only satisfaction we got. Guess we should have had an honest pre-cruise meeting. Don't sugar-coat your expectations if you want to remain friends after the cruise or you'll resent them for ruining your family's cruise.

What kind of things should we discuss before the cruise? What kind of expectations should we lay out?

 

Having cruised with groups a couple of times, I suggest the only expectations I would lay out would be NO EXPECTATIONS!

Let everyone do their own thing.

However, we did have 6 PM dinner, and everyone usually attended. Did not have to, but for the most part, this is the only time everyone was all together.

It was normal for us to meet up at the pool, on the Promenade, etc. Some in our group would do the trivia, while others would do bingo, or just relax at the pool.

Have fun, that is what is important, and do not compromise what you want to do because of others.

You don't say how large the total group is, but it is my understanding you have a better chance of getting seated together if you do fixed seating and have your bookings linked. Sometimes it is harder to seat large groups together in My Time dining. EM

Even when we travel with adult DS and his family, we only agree to meet for dinner (although will often meet for lunch or do an excursion together). Heck, even DH and I have different activities we want to do on a sea day so might not see much of one another.

At dinner the night before a sea day, you can each mention what you hope to do the next day (e.g., sit by the pool, play bingo, visit the casino, attend a lecture) and if someone else wants to do the same thing, you could arrange to meet up. For port days, each family should come to the meeting with a list of excursions they want to do - if any given excursions interest two or more families, you can go together - if not, well, we'll meet you at dinner. After dinner, if some want to see a show, they can go together - others might want to sit in a hot tub or play in the casino.

For port days, each family should come to the meeting with a list of excursions they want to do - if any given excursions interest two or more families, you can go together -

Yep.

At our pre cruise meeting, I said I was going on the Fury in St. Thomas and was doing the Segway in Puerto Rico.

Got to the Fury, and about 10 others from our group were there.

Segway, 3 others from our group went.

No plans, no expectations, everybody did their own thing when they wanted to. After dinner, some would meet at the Copper Kettle on the promenade, others would do the casino. The ship is not that big. You will find that you will be seeing people from your group at the regular places.

Seems strange there would be family activities at 5pm daily. The cruise line knows people are winding down and prepping for dinner.

I would opt for the 6pm dinner all together. Then just tell the others you don't want to be locked into plans for the rest of the day, and will play it by ear.

Instead of a total joined at the hip cruise, plan to spend one activity with each part of the group. When we cruised with a group of 14, we had excursions one day that included about 8, but another day there were just the three of us. We had the same dinner, but not all at one table. Some of us did the specialty night - it gave everyone a chance to do what they wanted, but still mix and mingle with the group. We did plan one night together, complete with the obligatory group photo!

OH BOY!!! I can't wait to read your review:eek:. Keep us posted on how your meeting went!:)

You don't say how large the total group is, but it is my understanding you have a better chance of getting seated together if you do fixed seating and have your bookings linked. Sometimes it is harder to seat large groups together in My Time dining. EM

Agreed 100%.

We've done anytime as a twosome, gone to dinner when we felt like it, & had no problem breezing straight onto a table - sharing with whoever.

But your group is 9+ and to have any chance of sitting together you'll need to reserve in advance and you're likely to find that a royal pain - perhaps even a bit of a nightmare.

IMHO you're best to stick with 6pm fixed dining, getting your T/A to link your bookings if the bookings are separate.

But as for organising your days, folk want to do what they want to do, and everyone wants time to themselves. For myself, I'd tell them my provisional plans & if anyone wants to do ditto with any that's fine.

Prospects are that you'll end up doing some activities together, some with Family A, some with Family B, some doing your own thing.

Anyway, if you're off doing different things, it makes for a lot of story-swapping at dinner.

And with fixed dining you'll have the same table each evening, & the same waiting staff, who'you & the kids will get to know.

Kids like to tell folk what they've achieved.

And if everyone has done exactly the same thing together that day, they can bore the pants off the waiter instead :D

JB :)

This is what I do. I figure out what shore excursions I want to do. I'm more then happy to arrange it for everyone or just us but I do what I want. More often then not, everyone ends up doing what we do.

We ALWAYS have dinner together. For us that is the highlight. Like others have said, we meet up during the day at the pool or at bingo or wherever. It's nice to be having breakfast and someone you know slips in with their meal as you are finishing up, just to say hi. At dinner we let everyone know (if we don't have an excursion planned) what we are doing the next day or what we did that day.

If you are all traveling from the same city - you might bring up the subject of transportation and parking to and from the airport. You might be able to find a cheaper way to do it. For example, for our group of 24 I booked a 54 person bus that was cheaper then individuals driving and parking for 10 days. It was fun too. How are you getting from the airport to the port? Maybe a group booking there as well.

Airfare - you may be able to get group airfare prices.

Spell everything out in advance.

And with fixed dining you'll have the same table each evening, & the same waiting staff, who'you & the kids will get to know.

Kids like to tell folk what they've achieved.

Excellent point.

Early fixed dining worked great for our group.

The wait staff gets to know everyone, what your preferences are, and you actually feel like you have a relationship with them as the cruise goes by.

They reallty cater to the kids, and have a fun time with them. Actually, I have found the MDR expereince quite entertaining, lot of fun.

Oh boy........ three doesn't usually work well. So often it turns into two against one. Whenever we're in a three couple/family situation, I see 'flaws' in the workings.

BEST way for you all to have the best vacation is to stress in advance no one should get offended if one or two of the families wish to do something different than the third. It isn't about 'avoiding' the other family (families) though it can be seen that way.

Have everyone agree to do what they want then they want and if someone decides they, too, want to do that fine but do not expect anyone else wants to do the same at the same time.

I'm curious, OP...... what family acitivities are you thinking about at 5 P.M.? Many folks are either at dinner or preparing to go to dinner.

We always have early dinners, so there is trivia, or music, or something else between 4 and 6 on the ships that we were missing. Just know, you can't be everywhere at the same time! Miss some activities.

I'm on RCCL Liberty of the Seas doing their 5 night cruise in March 2012. It's 3 couples with 2 kids each, so a total of 12 of us together.

I was looking at cruise compasses that others recommended will likely be similar to that cruise...and at 5pm, they had family activities like family scavenger hunt, family gaga ball, etc. Now I totally realise it might well be different for our cruise and it may be a little time before the liberty travels on my itinerary and I can see more recent compasses to get a better picture what to expect. I'm just gonna quit worrying about that and keep reminding myself that it's OK to miss some stuff (and yes that"s something I struggle with LOL)

Anyway, it's a very minor point...I just want to be able to diplomatically discuss all our expectations and find out what are key points that people suggest we need to discuss because at the end of the day, this cruise has to work for my family and yet we all want to spend time together too. I want to make sure we hit a good balance.

Like I said, we're used to joint-at-the-hip vacations and I can't see that working well for this cruise..particularly for what I know my family will be interested in vs the other 2 families. We're very close to Family A and I don't want them to be disappointed. I did already express that we'd likely end up doing different excursions at shore ports.

Thank you for those suggestions about travelling to and from port. That is a major discussion for us as we all come from the same city in Ontario. It's about 24 hrs to drive to fort Lauderdale. I'm thinking about flying. family A told Family B they would drive with them but now Family A wants to fly....but hasn't told Family B for fear of disappointing them (see where I'm getting??!!) That's why I'm pushing hard for this pre-cruise meeting. We all also need to decide just when we are getting to FLL and do we want to hang out pre-cruise and post cruise as well or split up.

I think based on everyone's responses - we will stick to the 6pm main dining time. It's simple and easy and everyone will be happy.

We'll discuss shore excursions to see what everyone else is thinking about doing and what they are interested in. I have to get our reservations linked. I booked Family A and myself's reservations with my TA. i have to get those linked with Family B.

I LOVE the suggestion on dealing with the 3 family dynamic. I'm a little worried about that especially for Family A who is caught in the middle between ourselves and Family B. I don't want anyone to leave with hurt feelings.

It's just getting everyone on the same page. Family A usually counts on me to do all the research etc and give them their options (I love the research so happy to do that). I like the idea of using dinner each day to talk about what we want to do the next day. That would make it easier to meet up and split up depending on everyone's wants.

Any other ideas or suggestions? What has worked for you when travelling with a group?

I'm not a "group" type of person. When we are with a larger group of friends, we do NOT make standing plans. We sort of "wing it"....if all (or some) of us want to do the same thing at the same time....great! If not...no one gets offended. We sort of make our own plans, and if and when they intersect...all's good. If they don't...not a problem!

I would leave the dinnertime "togetherness" as is...and have everyone make their own plans and arrangements. Easier for everyone!

I just can't think of anyone outside of my hubby and daughter that I would want to travel with. We had some close friends (hubby was in their wedding party -- that was before he and I met -- and their were in our wedding party) that we know wouldn't be compatible traveling companions for us. But if we ever went on a cruise with them (she probably would have more problems with motion sickness than I do -- I just take a ton of ginger with me and go with the flow -- and her hubby would be fretting over every charge), we would probably have to do things independently of them.

A couple of cruises ago, two of our tablemates in the MDR were siblings. They didn't share a cabin and they didn't go out in port together (the sister ended up on two of our excursions). I would see him a lot in the lounges with a drink and I imagine she was probably hanging out someplace reading. They just had two different personalities.

On our last cruise, our teen was with a couple of other girls her age for most of the cruise. That was her desire that she did her thing, except she was with us when off the ship (but she got to help us decide what we would do in port). Usually my hubby and I would be "joined at the hip" but we ended up also doing some activities separately (he'll be playing his guitar or working out in the gym, and I would be learning how to make ribbon leis or taking part in the Walk on the Deck for a Cure).

About the OP's situation, especially as she doesn't know one of the families, it would be better if they all meet up before the cruise and set some ground rules, including not having to be with them all the time. You can bring up that your family are planning to spend some time doing some activities (I would wait to see the actual list of activities for your cruise, unless you find a Compass for the same number of days and the same itinerary that's very recent...especially if a different cruise director takes over in the meantime, as they're usually the ones who set up the schedule).

You can tell them at this meeting what shore excursions you have signed up for or plan to sign up for. It would be unfair to expect a family with young uns to do a ziplining excursion or a long tour if those parents know it's not right for them. Maybe you can set up a time, once you see the schedule for the next day, for a get together one of the days.

We'll discuss shore excursions to see what everyone else is thinking about doing and what they are interested in.

NO NO NO!:eek:

Decide on what you will be doing!

At your meeting, tell everyone that you booked this on this island, this on that island etc. and you are so excited about those excursions. Let them know that they are welcome to join you, end of story. Then it is up to them to book what excursions they desire.

Again, no expectations, no group plans, no commitments.

What's the point of traveling with these people if you don't want to hang out with them?

Joined at the hip is a bit much but my suggestion is you compromise & stick to early seating traditional dining. Have that be the only thing everyone is committed to attending so you can spend some time together.

If Family A prefers the joined at the hip model you will have to make it clear up front that you don't want that. Explain that people ought to be free to do what they want but sometimes that may include doing stuff together.

You can also discuss what activities / excursions you are thinking about but make sure everybody's feelings are OK with the idea that this isn't a democracy where every one is committed to doing activities based on majority rules.

Definitely some great points., And it's true....we're travelling together because we DO want to spend time together. It just needs to be balanced, kwim?

Our last weekend trip with Family A, we planned to go an extra day in advance so we could do the things our family wanted to do and that their family didn't/couldn't. We specifically promised them on that trip that we would focus on the things we all wanted to do together. We had a great time....hubby and I took turns hanging out with their 3 yr old so they could do fun stuff too. (this was something we WANTED to do though...so not an imposition).

Each to his own but the cruise is for you and your family to enjoy so I would stop worrying about what eveyone else wants and just enjoy it.

Meet for breakfast, the children are less tired, and each family do their own thing.

I've been on a number of extended family cruise vacations (between 20 and 30 people including kids of various ages) and have found that you will never be able to make everyone happy with a joined at the hip schedule. Dinner times were always the same seating but obviously at multiple tables with our size group. Then most of the adults enjoyed attending the shows. Beyond that, people simple looked over the next days schedule and, while waiting for the evening show to start, figured out who might enjoy doing whatever together the following day and planned accordingly. One word of caution ... if you are hoping to include tons of "family activities" with the kids, at that age be prepared for them to have interests of their own that focus on the kids club activities. On our first group sailing, the 11 and under crowd enjoyed the kids club so much we could barely drag them away to do shore excursions with us. They would come to dinner, eat as quickly as possible, and run back to the kids program. By a couple days into the cruise, our waiter was ready for them and had their chocolate milk at the table as soon as they were seated and their standard chicken fingers meal arrived almost immediately.

I think as you approach your planning meeting, remember that this is your vacation, too. Your other adults need to know that for themselves, as well. I think trying to be attached at the hip is going to be most difficult for Family A, not you, being their connections are with both families.

Be open-minded and if you find things you want to do, express that and go alone (as a family) if necessary. On that note the other families should do the same. If you put too much into trying to spend all your time together you will more than likely have to do things that don’t interest you, or end up with hurt feelings and it could ruin your or their cruise.

Have the kids make lists of what they want to do and their expectations while on the cruise. There is a lot to do and you may find it easier to match up kids with activities and assign a parent if it is needed. Give you, as adults, some time for personal enjoyment.

For a group that large I would stick with traditional dining if you want to eat together. It’s a great time to catch up on the day’s activities and fun. Leave the walkie-talkies home and use post it notes or other forms of connecting. Walkie-talkies will irritate you after a while.:mad:

We have cruised with friends and tried to do everything together. It doesn’t always work very well. I spent too much time worrying if they were OK and I think they did also. When we did do separate things we enjoyed hearing about their day.

I hope you are all successful.:)