Calm me down...please!

Introduction: My husband is 65 and I am 61. We are plain, simple, small town people who spend our winters in our own place in Belize. Otherwise, our usual vacation style is down to earth, self directed, self catering, VRBO-ish, etc.

The process: For his 65th birthday, the mister decides he would like to take BC Ferries up the inside passage to Prince Rupert and then Alaska Ferries to explore further north. I did research and found it outrageously expensive. Enter cruising. We are booked on HAL Noordam...and I am freaking out.

The dilemma: I went shopping yesterday and spent almost $1000 on fancy (to me) clothes, shoes and makeup only to find today that I need 'cocktail wear' and 'smart casual' attire. I googled it and I don't have anything that resembles what I found. I am sooo not sparkly or button down. I'm 5'9" so I don't wear heels. I crochet a lot of my own scarves/shawls/wraps. I happily spend my winters barefoot, in long t-shirt dresses. The mister doesn't care _at all_ if he doesn't fit in. I am dying.

The solution: ...help me if you can sympathize!

You don't need to dress up any more than you want to. Even if there is a dress code for the dining room one night that you don't want to adhere to, there are other places to eat on board where you can wear what you like (Lido or room service).

You LIVE in BELIZE....and you're cruising??? I would NEVER leave the warmth of the Caribbean for British Columbia.... what is he thinking???

No matter... Its a vacation..that's all..do what you want..when you want...how you want. Period. Honestly...a vacation is what you make of it. Do it however you want. There really are no rules.

 

The dilemma: I went shopping yesterday and spent almost $1000 on fancy (to me) clothes, shoes and makeup only to find today that I need 'cocktail wear' and 'smart casual' attire.

Are you kidding? Take 2/3 of those clothes back to the store!

I own a pair of black linen pants that I wear for formal night with a silk top, nothing sparkly, looks classy and can be worn to other events. Bring your fanciest shawl as a topper and maybe an interesting necklace that you've picked up in Belize. My shoes are simple flat black sandals (not beach sandals) Minimal make-up.

One of the older ladies who spend their winter months on cruise ships wore a white embroidered Maya style dress bought in Mexico. That might be a bit out of place in Alaska.:)

The linen pants also work for non-formal nights with a simple clean top or sweater and the black sandals. Some rooms on cruise ships are very cold, bring a few of your crochet things.

If your husband doesn't want to wear a dress shirt with a tie and a jacket, you might just forgo the 'formal' attire and eat in the buffet on those nights. On our Panama Canal cruise, one gentleman wore the same slinky gym shorts for 14 days. I remember because he was very tall and stood out in the buffet. I hope he washed them every night.

There is no reason to spend $$$ on new clothes. Just wear what you would normally wear. For dinner, even on formal nights, an nice pair of slacks & top are fine.

Foe my hubby on formal nights he wears a banded collar shirt - no tie required!

Relax and enjoy!

Dress nice for you.

You do not hear this enough anymore...Be who you are.

I am guessing your husband can wear a jacket and tie without breaking the bank.

Stop worrying about keeping up with the Jones and have a good time.

You will hear this a lot of times...... it is true.

Take half of what you plan to wear.

We took our first cruise this year.

We are literally planning on taking 1/3 of what we did for our 2nd cruise next year.

You are not there to impress anybody.

And if you heard nothing else that I said...hear this.

You will not worry so much about what people think about you...when you realize...They aren't.

You can take most of those clothes back, spend the money on tours. I make a lot of my own clothes and wear these on the cruise. Now I enjoy dressing up but I go on quite a few cruises so I just re-wear the same dresses.

Even so last year I miss read the daily planner and went casual on formal night. Nobody said a word to me.☺

Really some people go all out and some are casual all the time , you will see every kind of person on board.

Generally clean and neat is all you need to be.

Belize Mama...IF you do not need those clothes and IF you will never wear them again, I would return them also. I feel so bad that you spent so much money on clothing. NO ONE is going to judge you on what you are wearing. No one cares. As long as you are not wearing flip flops and a tee shirt on formal night in the dining room....you are fine. You don't even have to go to the dining room. There are very casual venues for your meals.

Please don't stress. You will be absolutely fine. :):):)

Adding to the chorus of comforting words, the people you will see on the ship are strangers you may never see again. Be yourself. It is so great you live in Belize. That should make for interesting conversation, far more so than what you are wearing. Take back the expensive clothes. Eat in the buffet on formal nights. Hubby and I always do and often find the buffet better.

Alaskan cruises tend to be a lot more "casual" and that's mainly because of the weather. People tend to wear heavier clothing (jeans, sweaters, etc.).

I do bring a suit jacket with (for the formal nights) and dress & shirts slacks for dinner. Nothing fancy at all. My wife has dresses that she brings, but they're not "cocktail dresses" or formal gowns. Think along the lines of something slightly less casual than what you'd wear for a wedding.

So unless the dress code is extremely strict (I have no idea what HAL is like in that regard), I wouldn't fret over it.

Thank you so much everyone! I am feeling much, much better.

I am going to keep and bring the clothes that we bought as most are the kind of things that we will be able to wear again in spring and fall in Canada. The rest? I can only hope that someone gets married soon so that I can reuse my little black dress and snappy new sandals and the mister can wear his dress pants, shirt and tie again.

...and to the person who private messaged me to suggest that we bring the same 'resort wear' that we wear in Belize... where I live in Belize the prevailing attitude is 'no shirt, no shoes, no problem'. I'm guessing that, when cruising, if my husband went shirtless and I went shoe-less that there might be a problem :D

 

A little off-topic question - there is no private messaging feature here so what did you mean by that? Just curious. :)

 

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Poor composition is my only excuse. I posted in a tripadvisor forum too and that's where I got the PM.

I went on an Alaskan cruise last September and it was my favourite cruise ever!! You will have an amazing time. When going off the ship, people dress for the weather, so don't worry about what clothes to wear on excursions other than to be dressed for weather. On board, I found that people wore a mix of clothes. Some people dressed up a lot for formal nights, but the majority dressed up a bit (normal dresses, dress pants and tops). No one will judge you. I have seen it all on cruises! Don't worry too much about the wardrobe - you will have an awesome trip!

You LIVE in BELIZE....and you're cruising??? I would NEVER leave the warmth of the Caribbean for British Columbia.... what is he thinking???

 

No matter... Its a vacation..that's all..do what you want..when you want...how you want. Period. Honestly...a vacation is what you make of it. Do it however you want. There really are no rules.

Yes, it is a vacation and for some a vacation is not just sitting at the pool "frying" yourself to get a tan. We know this getting a tan is all-important to you, cb, but it is not for everyone. Hopefully, one day you will be able to think outside your own little box! :eek::rolleyes:

In my way of thinking the cruise lines, except for Norwegian, have at least one formal night on board and do this to allow the folks who want to dress up to do so. There are a percentage of the people who cruise that enjoy dressing up for a night or two. I do believe that most of us, especially from the south and mid west, practically never dress up. Since formal/semi formal attire is not mandatory (as in you will get arrested if you don't go formal) on formal nights, as long as you dress smartly then no one is going to keep you out of the main dining room. After all, the cruise lines are into giving you a nice vacation and are not into embarrassing you because you don't have on a Tux, Suit, and/or Tie. I think that lines like Princess, Celebrity, Holland America, and some of the luxury lines, there are a majority of people who dress up. Whereas on the other lines not so much. I would bet that even on Norwegian there are still some people who dress up from time to time.

Belize Mama...IF you do not need those clothes and IF you will never wear them again, I would return them also. I feel so bad that you spent so much money on clothing. NO ONE is going to judge you on what you are wearing. No one cares. As long as you are not wearing flip flops and a tee shirt on formal night in the dining room....you are fine. You don't even have to go to the dining room. There are very casual venues for your meals.

 

Please don't stress. You will be absolutely fine. :):):)

Enjoy the time building up to your cruise, I have seen people in slacks, tops and evening gowns. No one will judge you. I have one fancy silk skirt which I wear various tops on formal nights. I wear the clothes I go to work in. Jeans or shorts going ashore. Don't worry anymore, at 5.9 I bet you can carry of long dresses you like better than 5.4 me.

You LIVE in BELIZE....and you're cruising??? I would NEVER leave the warmth of the Caribbean for British Columbia.... what is he thinking???

 

No matter... Its a vacation..that's all..do what you want..when you want...how you want. Period. Honestly...a vacation is what you make of it. Do it however you want. There really are no rules.

Second paragraph makes a lot of sense - but "NEVER" leave warmth of the Caribbean for British Columbia" ? Even migratory birds have enough sense to seek an occasional change of scene/climate.

Belize Mama: No need to worry, HAL does not have formal nights anymore. Instead, they will have a couple of "gala" nights. While there may be some folks on board who enjoy wearing formal attire the majority will be dressed more casually (especially on your Alaska cruise). Enjoy!!

I am sorry to say, you are agonizing over nothing. There will be women in fancy long dresses, but many will not want to bring large suitcases, and their formal wear will be simple.

How would you get dressed up, for example, for church? Wear the same to formal dinner.

As for everyday dinner, a clean outfit that you can wear the next day while sightseeing, then change again for next dinner.

If your husband has a tie, toss it in the suitcase. In Alaska men will be wearing long sleeve shirts to formal dinners. Other days, whoever brought what :)

One more thing: it may get cold on the ship, as the air conditioner is strong in the dining rooms and theaters, so plan accordingly.

I can only hope that someone gets married soon so that I can reuse my little black dress and snappy new sandals and the mister can wear his dress pants, shirt and tie again.

You and the mister are going to look fine on "Gala" nights onboard the ship. You can never go wrong with a little black dress and snappy new sandals! Seriously, you can dress it up or down with jewelery or some of your own creations - which might come in handy, as some folks find it chilly in the dining room or public rooms at night.

Smooth Sailing ! :) :) :)

I think you and the Mister will have a great time on your cruise no mater what you are wearing. Go, enjoy, and have fun. Don't sweat the little stuff.

One more thing: it may get cold on the ship, as the air conditioner is strong in the dining rooms and theaters, so plan accordingly.

Yes it can get cold in the dining rooms. Bring one of those home made wraps that you make that matches what you would wear to diner.

Bob

I ALWAYS carry a couple of wraps and a sweater or two...even on Caribbean cruises. The dining room and theater on the ship can be chilly. Since it is an Alaskan cruise, you will carry clothes that can be layered anyway. I carry a pair of dressy black slacks and a dressy lace top and a silk top for the formal nights. I broke my ankle a few years ago and I no longer wear heels. I have a pair of dressy black flats. Take your wraps. They will be perfect and don't worry.

I guess I can wear my nice Aloha shirt and slacks in my Ruby Princess cruise then :)

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