What's the Funnies Complaint You Ever Heard at Guest Relations?

What is the funniest complaint you ever heard (or overheard) at guest relations?

I know this is a very tricky subject, since One man's trash is another man's treasure, but what was the one think you heard that really made you laugh?

One of my favorites I think was onboard a TA, we stopped in France, and took an excursion to Nice, half way there a woman complained that she wanted to be taken back to the ship, because she didn't expect to be on a bus for an hour. The guide explained to her they couldn't turn the bus around just for her, she then insisted she and her husband be left in the next town "and we'll arrange our own transportation back to the ship"

The next day she was down at guest relations, demanding that

• The guide be fired for ignoring her
  
• That she be reimbursed €400 for the money that it cost her to hire a boat to bring her back to the ship (although she had misplaced the receipt for her voyage back to the ship)
  

The people at guest relations tried their best to calm her down, but explained to her that neither request was going to happen, since they didn't do anything wrong. Fellow passengers who were in line at guest relations could not stop laughing, which no doubt infuriated her even more. She ultimately stormed away saying her travel insurance would surely cover this and Celebrity should expect a call from her attorney.

I heard a passenger try to get a refund on some 'expensive' T shirts, from the gift shop.

Unfortunately, the receipt that she offered was for one of the T shirts promotions- 4 for $20.

The arguments were conducted in front of many passengers, who stared open mouthed. Eventually, the 'customer' threatened to go to Guest relations to report the sales person.

I was in line behind the couple in the penthouse who kept trying to mow us down with their scooters. They were angrily demanding to know what had happened to the second bedroom. The GR person politely informed them that there had never been a second bedroom. They insisted that there had always been one--that they traveled in the PH a lot. Must have had their eyes closed all those times then. :D

A gentleman ahead of us on a Holland America cruise was complaining that he and his wife hadn't gotten any dinner one night. I think the gal behind the desk was as puzzled as the rest of us since we had just gotten under way and it wasn't time for dinner yet.

Finally it became clear that he was talking about a previous cruise - not the one we were starting. Unfortunately I got called over to the other end of the desk so I didn't get to hear the outcome.

The only thing I could come up with was that they were on the 2nd leg of a b2b - but even then if you don't get any dinner it's your fault - lots of places to eat on a ship.

In advance - the guy here recently who said he wanted to ask the omelette station to prepare his omelette with yolks from brown eggs and whites from white eggs...........:rolleyes:

A couple complained loudly and bitterly that they had paid for an Ocean View Balcony but received a Port View Balcony instead and demanded to switch cabins...the Hotel Director told them he would take care of everything after the ship got underway. :rolleyes:

I heard on person complaining about the size of his final bill. It was a few pages thick... None of the charges were real and he had no idea who "stole his credit information".

He didn't realize that everyone in his group was attached to his credit card, which included his 3 kids, who apparently loved video games and "free soda and free stuff they got at the shops".

The dawning realization was funny to see. :) Of course his kids weren't too happy afterwards though!

I was in line behind the couple in the penthouse who kept trying to mow us down with their scooters. They were angrily demanding to know what had happened to the second bedroom. The GR person politely informed them that there had never been a second bedroom. They insisted that there had always been one--that they traveled in the PH a lot. Must have had their eyes closed all those times then. :D

 

Was this on a Millennium class ship? There is a 2nd bedroom in the PH, but it had to be booked separately from the PH. :D

After almost 30 cruises, the following story remains the funniest thing we have heard at GR. Our ship was stalled at sea, just off the coast of Florida, during hurricane Wilma. We were to be out there for 2 extra days because both the POM and Port Everglades were damaged during the storm. There were many ships circling the sea (what my DH compared to cars circling a parking lot at Walmart. :D) on what was to be the last morning of our cruise.

Passengers were either understanding or in an uproar about the extended cruise. A gentleman at GR said he had to get off the ship and get home to work. He demanded that the ship take him in close enough to port so that a boat could come out and get him into shore. When that was met with a "no", he said that he was going to hire a helicopter to come out and pick him up and would charge the bill to the cruiseline. :D

I was on a cruise that started with 5 days at sea. After the 3rd or 4th day, a woman who felt her and her family were quite entitled asked the Captain if he could just pull over somewhere, so her two boys could get off and do something, because they were bored on the ship. Even after she was told no, she asked each and every officer that passed by her. Needless to say that the officers had crew on the lookout for her and they tried very hard not to cross her path.

In advance - the guy here recently who said he wanted to ask the omelette station to prepare his omelette with yolks from brown eggs and whites from white eggs...........:rolleyes:

Um ... you do know that was a joke?? (and a very fun thread!)

Was this on a Millennium class ship? There is a 2nd bedroom in the PH, but it had to be booked separately from the PH. :D

 

Yes, it was on an M class ship and no, the PH has never had a second bedroom. If you're talking about the connecting sky suites, I wouldn't consider those to be second bedrooms.

In advance - the guy here recently who said he wanted to ask the omelette station to prepare his omelette with yolks from brown eggs and whites from white eggs...........:rolleyes:

I saw that! I had to read it twice to be sure I understood. I seriously do not know how these cruise ship employees keep from punching people in the throat. Unbelievable!

Um ... you do know that was a joke?? (and a very fun thread!)

Oh, I didn't know it was a joke! I work in an office for restaurants, so I've seen some doozies come in. (lemons too sour, cut my sandwich for me, the toothpick broke in my mouth, etc). So seeing this about the eggs did not surprise me.

By the way, did you know apples are food? Yes, it's true! When the announcement was made "No food is allowed to be taken off the ship in Lifou", a woman asked, "Can I take off my apple?"

Yes, it was on an M class ship and no, the PH has never had a second bedroom. If you're talking about the connecting sky suites, I wouldn't consider those to be second bedrooms.

 

Yes, that's the stateroom that I am talking about. Booked it last year and were told if the occupants of the PH wanted it, they would have preference. It is part of the PH, but as I said, it has to be booked along with the PH for a 2nd bedroom. Perhaps the couple had family with them on previous cruises that stayed in that stateroom, so they were confused that they did not have access to it on your cruise. ;)

At the bar a person complaining that the ice in the drink was not cold enough, she wanted a drink made with "the cold ice" the bartender went into the back and came out with a glass with ice and poured her another drink, she thanked him and walked away, he looked at me and said "you want cold ice too" we both just started laughing.

Yes, that's the stateroom that I am talking about. Booked it last year and were told if the occupants of the PH wanted it, they would have preference. It is part of the PH, but as I said, it has to be booked along with the PH for a 2nd bedroom. Perhaps the couple had family with them on previous cruises that stayed in that stateroom, so they were confused that they did not have access to it on your cruise. ;)

Well, whoever told you it was part of the PH was confused. Yes, it has a connecting door. That doesn't make it part of the PH. It's a separate suite.

And by the way, the complainants had also booked the connecting sky suite, so that's not what they were complaining about. They were complaining about the lack of the second bedroom IN the penthouse.

Two women who were loudly complaining they got wet on a "Rain Forest Excursion".

:rolleyes: ... :D ... :rolleyes:

Now, this wasn't at guest relations but funny nonetheless.

We were on a California coastal cruise during spring last year. This really was anything but a 'spring break' cruise but it didn't stop a few people from bringing their bored out of their minds teenagers with them.

We were up in the observation lounge having a relaxing time while whale watching and reading our books. These kids came in with their parents and were complaining about not being able to use their cell phones while out at sea. They were getting so bored that they couldn't be constantly connected. When they found out we were at sea for two days in a row, the female teenager threw a tantrum -- stomped her feet and stated "this is INTOLERABLE". I was just cracking up ...poor baby couldn't use her phone for 2 entire days.

I was at CR when an elderly woman was adamantly demanding a refund for her dinner, because the waiter did not re-fill her coffee cup. That she had waited until the end of dinner for him to do so. If coffee is included in the meal, the meal was incomplete and she deserved a refund. I wanted to throw her a dollar just to quiet the caterwauling. If I had not seen it myself, I would not believe it. I applaud all ships personnel. They put up with a lot and still maintain friendliness.:D

Well, whoever told you it was part of the PH was confused. Yes, it has a connecting door. That doesn't make it part of the PH. It's a separate suite.

 

And by the way, the complainants had also booked the connecting sky suite, so that's not what they were complaining about. They were complaining about the lack of the second bedroom IN the penthouse.

 

Not trying to argue with you.;) Yes, it is a separate stateroom, but that Sky Suite was made larger and furnished like the PH for anyone wanting to book it along with PH. I am not saying that it is inclusive in the price of the PH. As I said before, it would have to be booked separately.

After booking the Sky Suite (it was being held back and became available for booking a few weeks before our cruise), we were told that if the PH occupants decided that they wanted to book it, (and would pay for the suite), that we would have to be moved. Similar to booking an HC and having to move if someone with a handicap needed the stateroom.

Since the occupants already had that extra stateroom booked, it's funny that they thought there was yet another bedroom within the PH suite.:D

then there are those who complain about the food being terrible AND the portions being so small!

I worked as the supervisor of Guest Relations for a television network for many years. I wouldn't even know where to start with the craziest things that I have heard. With that in mind I can only guess what goes at Guest Relations on a ship. People were nuts with me and we were dealing with Studio Tours and free TV show tickets. On a ship you are dealing with real money and people's precious vacation time. I must think that their GR people have a lot of aspirins and pepto bismol ready to ease their aching heads and sour stomachs at the end of their shifts.

I think the funniest complaint I ever heard was our own. The lady who checked us in at the port made some computer errors. As a result, my Caucasion husband's sea pass was linked to a photo of an elderly African American woman. When we tried to use the card, her photo popped up. We were detained boarding at one port by the head of security because of this and it took several days of us going to the desk daily to fix it. Each time we went to the desk, a different person was working. When they asked how they can help us, I asked them to open the photo from the card scan and they'll know what we need................the looks on their faces was priceless. :D

Now I may be mistaken here, but we went on a tour of the cabins on change over day on Century when we were on a B2B. The Captains Club Hostess offered to show us the Royal and Penthouse suites. I am pretty sure that the PH one had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Each bedroom was off the main living room/Dining room. It did not seem to be adjoining cabins. There was only one entrance to the suite that I saw.

The Century is different from the Millennium class ship that we were discussing. ;) I can't answer about the Century because I have never seen one, or photos or read any discussion about them. ;)

Sky Suite connected to the PH - Summit (Millennium Class)

http://cruiseforums.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1591380