Help With 8 Year Old

[cortneyward]

Long story short, my husband and I were supposed to cruise this year and didn't get to but will be going next year instead. My step son has shown interest in going so we plan to take him. We wanted to surprise him with it, as in not tell him anything until we show up. He is 8 and my husband shares joint legal custody of him but she has primary physical custody. Can we even do this? It seems like a long time ago, before I had a step son, I read something about needing her permission? Can't seem to find that now though. Any help is appreciated!

[originalgeek]

It almost certainly depends on the actual divorce decree. My son is the custodial parent of his 2 daughters and his decree says neither parent can take the kids out of country without permission from the other. Thankfully, they are all adult about it and don't usually have any problems. They've been on several cruises and going on another one end of this year. I'm hoping to take the grandkids next year.

[suennorm]

If you and your husband, and your stepson, all have the same last name, and he has his own passport, security and check-in reps will assume he is your son. If you are using a birth certificate, with his birth mother's name on it, there is probably a "parental consent form" from the cruise line that will have to be filled out. You can call the cruise line. I have traveled with my grandchildren, whose last names are the same as mine, with no problem; when one of them brought a friend along, with a different last name, we needed to have her mom fill out the consent form, and turn it in at check-in.

[bury me at sea]

Get him a passport. His mother will have to help in this process.

 

Then get a notarized letter from his mother authorizing him to accompany you and your husband on the cruise. Letter should specify what cruise and itinerary.

[Bookbug53]

Long story short, my husband and I were supposed to cruise this year and didn't get to but will be going next year instead. My step son has shown interest in going so we plan to take him. We wanted to surprise him with it, as in not tell him anything until we show up. He is 8 and my husband shares joint legal custody of him but she has primary physical custody. Can we even do this? It seems like a long time ago, before I had a step son, I read something about needing her permission? Can't seem to find that now though. Any help is appreciated!

 

 

My daughter has traveled with my granddaughter and had a notarized consent form from her ex for her to take her. I am fairly certain we obtained the form from Carnival detailing dates, countries visited, ship's name, and the names of all parties. That, along with her birth certificate were what we used.

[riffatsea]

How can you imagine that you could take a child out of the country without telling his mother with whom he may be living at the time? Wouldn't she have to pack a suitcase for him if he lives with her most of the time??

I would not do this as a "surprise" but would have it planned out and allow him to be part of the planning.

I have been divorced and remarried and have dealt with custody and step children and cooperation is much better than just doing something.

[cruizinisthebest]

How can you imagine that you could take a child out of the country without telling his mother with whom he may be living at the time? Wouldn't she have to pack a suitcase for him if he lives with her most of the time??

I would not do this as a "surprise" but would have it planned out and allow him to be part of the planning.

I have been divorced and remarried and have dealt with custody and step children and cooperation is much better than just doing something.

 

I don't see where the OP said she doesn't plan to tell the mother. Obviously she will have to know. But rather can she prohibit him from going being that she shares custody. And I think the very first reply was right in that it will depend on what the custody papers specify regarding travel and traveling with just one parent or the other.

[YumYumSweetiePie]

Surprise the kid? Yeah, sounds fun! Surprise or not tell the mother? You're asking for trouble. Hopefully that's not what you were asking but rather wanted more information on what documentation from her is necessary.

[cb at sea]

Yes...you will need notarized permission for your child to leave the country. If you're on good terms..that's great. If not..get started now!

[LaFrimaire]

Not sure about custody and permission details but might rethink the surprise aspect. Sometimess kids need preparation and need both him and his mom to be able to deal with it. If it is a surprise, bring mom in the loop and maybe do it a bit in advance.

[cortneyward]

Whoa! Retract the claws! No one said anything about not telling his mom, that's insane. Nothing in the papers mentions taking him out of the country, but she would have no problem with it regardless. We share custody and gave him half of the time in the summer. The only thing she would do is not allow us to surprise him. We would tell her either way, my question was mostly to find out how early we would have to do so.

 

Thanks for attacking me based on assumptions guys!

[cruizinisthebest]

Whoa! Retract the claws! No one said anything about not telling his mom, that's insane. Nothing in the papers mentions taking him out of the country, but she would have no problem with it regardless. We share custody and gave him half of the time in the summer. The only thing she would do is not allow us to surprise him. We would tell her either way, my question was mostly to find out how early we would have to do so.

 

Thanks for attacking me based on assumptions guys!

Not everyone attacked you. I actually understood what you were asking.

 

Hope it all works out for you. If he wants to go on a cruise, trust me he will love the surprise.

 

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

[CGinMTL]

Whoa! Retract the claws! No one said anything about not telling his mom, that's insane. Nothing in the papers mentions taking him out of the country, but she would have no problem with it regardless. We share custody and gave him half of the time in the summer. The only thing she would do is not allow us to surprise him. We would tell her either way, my question was mostly to find out how early we would have to do so.

 

Thanks for attacking me based on assumptions guys!

Tell the mother BEFORE you book anything.

This way, you know exactly where you stand.

Ask her to keep the secret until you are ready to tell the child.

Finally, if you are in good terms with the other parent, get the letter. May save a lot of problems and head aches.

[Yari mommy of 2]

I have been on a lot of cruises. I have 3 step kids. 1 of them we added on about 2 months before our cruise. She never travelled so wr had to notify her mom in advance to get a passport. God forbid something happened outside of US territory. Plus she needed to sign papers giving us permission to travel with her. I have my husbands last name but because

I'm not her mom i wouldnt risk it. So i would talk to his mom and make sure she gets neccesary documents and signed and notorize it.

[riffatsea]

I reacted to the fact that nothing in your original post talked about cooperation with the mom.

You just wanted to know if the mom could prevent you from taking the child. That implied a non cooperative relationship. If it is different then your writing should have indicated it differently!

Glad to know you intend to tell her about this trip beforehand.

[hftmrock]

Whoa! Retract the claws! No one said anything about not telling his mom, that's insane. Nothing in the papers mentions taking him out of the country, but she would have no problem with it regardless. We share custody and gave him half of the time in the summer. The only thing she would do is not allow us to surprise him. We would tell her either way, my question was mostly to find out how early we would have to do so.

 

Thanks for attacking me based on assumptions guys!

 

she holds the cards and can prevent you from taking him out of the country if she wants to. Disagreeing with her would not be in your best interest. If she wont let you surprise him, I recommend you don't surprise him

[cortneyward]

Not everyone attacked you. I actually understood what you were asking.

 

Hope it all works out for you. If he wants to go on a cruise, trust me he will love the surprise.

 

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

 

You are correct, and I appreciate the helpful comments

[cortneyward]

So I was trying to not have a super lenghty post, but rather get information, which apparently led to some crazy assumptions. My husband shares joint legal custody of his son. We have the child more than the standard during summer break. We plan to cruise during this time. My step son loves surprises, so that's the plan. We have a pretty decent relationship with his mom, myself especially, however, she will likely spill the beans if we told her much ahead of time. Custody agreement says nothing about vacationing out of county. Vacation isn't mentioned at all. Not a problem because I know she won't mind. Carnival states a letter is "recommended" but not "required". We planned to let her know before we left but not before we booked, lessening the chances she would spill. As it seems I will need the letter, we will just plan the surprise in a different way. Hope that's all clear now

[cortneyward]

I reacted to the fact that nothing in your original post talked about cooperation with the mom.

You just wanted to know if the mom could prevent you from taking the child. That implied a non cooperative relationship. If it is different then your writing should have indicated it differently!

Glad to know you intend to tell her about this trip beforehand.

 

And you could've asked a question to clarify if you didn't understand instead of attacking without even answering the question I asked at all

[hftmrock]

So I was trying to not have a super lenghty post, but rather get information, which apparently led to some crazy assumptions. My husband shares joint legal custody of his son. We have the child more than the standard during summer break. We plan to cruise during this time. My step son loves surprises, so that's the plan. We have a pretty decent relationship with his mom, myself especially, however, she will likely spill the beans if we told her much ahead of time. Custody agreement says nothing about vacationing out of county. Vacation isn't mentioned at all. Not a problem because I know she won't mind. Carnival states a letter is "recommended" but not "required". We planned to let her know before we left but not before we booked, lessening the chances she would spill. As it seems I will need the letter, we will just plan the surprise in a different way. Hope that's all clear now

 

I think your story and situation is clear. The only thing I am not clear about is what is the reason for the post. it sounds like you are going to do what you need to in order to surprise him despite the mom not wanting you to.... so what do you want people at this forum to help with?

[Kerry's Girls]

If you and your husband, and your stepson, all have the same last name, and he has his own passport, security and check-in reps will assume he is your son. If you are using a birth certificate, with his birth mother's name on it, there is probably a "parental consent form" from the cruise line that will have to be filled out. You can call the cruise line. I have traveled with my grandchildren, whose last names are the same as mine, with no problem; when one of them brought a friend along, with a different last name, we needed to have her mom fill out the consent form, and turn it in at check-in.

 

In case others read this thread looking for similar information - I agree, with a male and female with matching last names, usually there would be no questions, but it's a gamble. Just because you've been lucky, doesn't mean this family won't show up at check-in and be turned away for not having proper paperwork. Even with insurance, there would be no refund as having proper paperwork is the responsibility of the traveler. Besides the cruise line, there is also immigration to deal with. There are lots of people on these boards who have been checked and all it takes is getting that one person at check in who is careful of non-custodial kidnapping to ruin a trip. I would never risk not having the custodial paperwork or notarized permission.

 

Best,

Mia

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Hopefully the mom would be mature enough not to ruin the surprise. Get the letter of consent. I always bring one and it has to be updated every couple of years (stamp expires).

[Slugsta]

I think your story and situation is clear. The only thing I am not clear about is what is the reason for the post. it sounds like you are going to do what you need to in order to surprise him despite the mom not wanting you to.... so what do you want people at this forum to help with?

 

There are various reasons for the mother potentially telling the stepson. Not wanting to surprise him is only one of them.

[dsrdsrdsr]

Bear this in mind, if you decide to surprise him: if he's so surprised that he says "my mother didn't tell me about this", and he's overheard by any official, then you quite possibly won't go. Any suspicion that a child is being removed from the country without parents' consent is looked into very closely.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

You may want to take him out for dinner and give him the cruise brochure ahead of time. It's will still be a "surprise" we are going on a cruise! Yay! That way he has something to look forward to.