Only children

[jerijkstr]

My daughter is turning 12 during our cruise on FOTS (8/4-8/11). I’m a little nervous to have her “be on her own” on the ship, but want her to meet other kids. Thoughts?

 

 

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[3monkeys4me]

Which part are you nervous about? Leaving her in the teen club or having her be able to roam the ship on her own if she makes a friend or two?

 

I'll assume it is the latter. All I can say is that is something that varies by kid and you know your child better than anyone. It is hard to let them go the first time but as long as you trust your child to follow whatever guidelines you set I think the independence is good for them. My daughter at that age was just starting to go off with friend unsupervised and starting to babysit the neighbors kids. She was ready for the responsibility and we have never had any issues. I do think it is very important to go over any rules you may set beforehand (for example... one rule we have is they are not allowed to go into other staterooms without checking with us first, even if their friend needs to get something). At that age I would also give a specific time and place to check in, especially if they don't have a way to contact you and I would let my child know my own plans so they know where to look for me if needed.

[ARCruisinNana]

If she is 11 on the first day of the cruise, she can go to Adventure Ocean in the 9-11 group. In that group you can give permission for her to sign herself in and out. I just returned from Harmony with my now 12 year old granddaughter (turned 12 a few days after the cruise). She loves AO, but also enjoyed being about to do activities, like ping pong, with friends she met in AO.

 

 

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[papaflamingo]

We took the family on a cruise including our 12 year old grandson. He pretty much went to the teen club and made lots of friends and had a great time. He's a good kid, so trusting him was no problem. One thing, we were in suites that had internet for all. We all had our cellphones on "airplane" mode with "wifi calling" activated (a free service from your cell provider). Therefore, with "wifi calling" we could text or phone just as if we are at home with no additional charges. It might be something you can do. Pay for an internet package for 2 devices and have her phone and your phone on "wifi calling" and in "airplane" mode and you should be able to get ahold of her anytime be either text or call. If you have concerns, might be worth the cost.

[TEXASMUNK]

Set up your own standards. Yes or no on sign out. check in times with you. Curfew. Do it on a day by day basis. Build trust and responsibility.

[cb at sea]

You don't have to give her "run of the ship"...it's up to you! I would allow my kids to do specific things on their own, but they were not allowed hours and hours to "roam". That's asking for trouble.

 

I would allow them to go the the WJ and get something, if I was at the pool....then they would return to me, before going elsewhere. That's how it worked. I let them know where I would be, and they would need to find me before doing something else.

 

You have to give kids an opportunity to become independent, or they never will! Trust, but verify...the point of raising kids is to make them into responsible adults, you know!

[Momto3girlsintheCarolinas]

This is not addressed to any individual poster, as I do not know you or your child. However, I will make a GENERAL comment that parents/grandparents/caregivers should really know their child before giving them the run of the ship. Sadly, I've seen several very poorly behaved children aboard. If your child's behavior is so egregious that another unknown adult has to step in, that child should be reported to Guest Services and the adults in that cabin informed. When with their caregivers, they were angels. I honestly think these adults had no idea how their children were actually behaving.

 

I am a child therapist and a mother to three children. I've met hundreds of parents who were in complete denial about their children's rude or bullying behavior. Are my kids an exception? No. My kids can be twits on occasion, too. If and when they are, I don't visit them on innocent people trying to enjoy an expensive vacation.

 

I agree with CB at Sea. Give them some independence at an appropriate age. It's great at making quality adults! When my daughters were younger (now 19 and 16), they had the run of the ship - but had to check in. My 11-year-old is a bit less trustworthy, so she'll have to be a little older before we turn her loose. She'll need more frequent check-ins with my husband and me than the other two did at her age, as well.

Edited July 6, 2018 by Momto3girlsintheCarolinas

[WarGuyEd]

Some very sage comments in this thread! My girls are now 25 & 22 and we let them do things on the ship when they were younger, but with restrictions & curfews. One extremely important one that was mentioned above, was to never go into any other cabins or our cabin with someone other than us. We gave them responsibility and freedom, but also let them know that we would take those away at any time that our trust was violated.

 

 

 

Too many parents think that their own kids can do no wrong, and its seen in malls, schools, and public places everywhere these days.

[powelweb]

I also remind our DD (also an only) that in addition to the check in times, we will be out and about the ship ourselves, so she should keep that in mind if our paths happen to cross at a time when her behavior is less than ideal (which would truly surprise me) there would be consequences.

 

We've also talked with her about the fact that the kids she meets onboard - even though they may feel like a close friend after a day- aren't really people you know well, and she needs to keep that in mind. We've also talked about peer pressure, and if the group wants to do something that she isn't comfortable with, there is a way to extract herself from the situation without judging them in case she wants to hang out another day.

 

Using checking in with the parents, or not feeling well / must have ate something bad at dinner and needing to go lay down in your own cabin tend to work (since many kids/ parents have the rule that no one else can go into their own cabin).

[jerijkstr]

I just want to thank you all for your honest responses. You have all given me a lot to think about!

[jerijkstr]

I am a child therapist and a mother to three children. I've met hundreds of parents who were in complete denial about their children's rude or bullying behavior. Are my kids an exception? No. My kids can be twits on occasion, too.

 

Yes, I agree, my daughter can be a twit too...LOL....

[Smiley525]

Yes thank you! I also have a 10 and 12 year old.

[cruisemom67]

If your daughter is turning 12 on the cruise, they may not allow her to go to the 12 y.o. Activities. That has happened to my daughter and she was stuck in the younger kid group.

 

But if she is allowed, definitely set up rules. At that age, I was really worried about DD safety. There are cases of rape on ships. Rare, but still be wary. We told her to not get in elevators alone, don't open cabin door if others were around, and if it were curfew time, to either call us and we would escort her, or get a group to bring her to the room. Ships feel safe, but stuff happen. my oldest DD is very responsible and I didn't worry about what she would do, but I worried about other risks. I have 3 DD and each one is very unique on how they handled the freedom situation. I set up early curfews at first, then let them stay out later each night if they abided by my rules.

 

Have a great time!

[PhoenixCruiser]

OP, I think you might have misinterrupted the bringing two bottles of wine onboard policy. You can bring two bottles per cabin when the Freedom leaves San Juan - you cannot bring two additional bottles at each stop. Just didn't want you to waste your time or money shopping for wine at our five stops.

 

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[Merion_Mom]

OP, I think you might have misinterrupted the bringing two bottles of wine onboard policy. You can bring two bottles per cabin when the Freedom leaves San Juan - you cannot bring two additional bottles at each stop. Just didn't want you to waste your time or money shopping for wine at our five stops.

 

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I think that you posted on the wrong thread. :)

[PhoenixCruiser]

I think that you posted on the wrong thread. :)

Nope, the OP is posting on all of the ports we are visiting and to get them to see this information I thought it would be best to post here. I was just trying to get their attention to save them time and money.

 

However, thanks again for calling a poster out and showing them their errors, you are really good at that!

 

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[Merion_Mom]

Nope, the OP is posting on all of the ports we are visiting and to get them to see this information I thought it would be best to post here. I was just trying to get their attention to save them time and money.

 

However, thanks again for calling a poster out and showing them their errors, you are really good at that!

 

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I am confused by your hostility.

 

You surely must see that it looks odd that you suddenly tell the OP about wine, when no wine has been mentioned.

 

Wouldn't it make more sense to post that information on a thread where she asks about it?

[PhoenixCruiser]

I am confused by your hostility.

 

You surely must see that it looks odd that you suddenly tell the OP about wine, when no wine has been mentioned.

 

Wouldn't it make more sense to post that information on a thread where she asks about it?

Yes, I can see where others would be confused which is why I started my post with "OP"

 

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[semala]

Yes, I can see where others would be confused which is why I started my post with "OP"

 

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Presumably you'd do the same if you posted in the wrong thread. I know I'd appreciate being redirected if my helpful advice wasn't reaching the correct OP! Thank you, Merion_Mom, for trying to help even when it's unappreciated.

[Doug S]

When my boys were younger they had set ground rules to follow that I felt were age appropriate. The consequence of falling short of our expectations... the offending party got to spend the next day (or the rest of the cruise) as Dad's personal cruise buddy, hanging out with me and doing all the things I found fun. That threat was enough to keep them in line.

[Momto3girlsintheCarolinas]

When my boys were younger they had set ground rules to follow that I felt were age appropriate. The consequence of falling short of our expectations... the offending party got to spend the next day (or the rest of the cruise) as Dad's personal cruise buddy, hanging out with me and doing all the things I found fun. That threat was enough to keep them in line.

 

 

:cool: Now THAT is some fine parenting right there! I LOVE it!! More parents should be this invested.

[lovescats5]

We are fortunate that we have chosen suites for our cruises and have been able to have a ship phone to use. This gave my granddaughter (11 now) the ability to check herself into and out of the AO and we would get a call from her at time of arrival and time of leaving. We also have free internet so would be able to use phones but have not wanted her carrying her phone around (she tends to lose it sometimes). If she neglects to call then some of her privledges are taken away. I know you will do what you think is right for your situation. Have a wonderful cruise.

[Max and Ruby]

My responsible 12 year old daughter was actually disappointed by the teens club. Not enough to do.... or everything started at night when she goes to bed. “Just hanging out” with much older teens was not of interest. She has a little sister who went to AO ( 10). I was actually told that on the first day of our Alaskan cruise my 12 yo could change to the 11 yo AO, but only that first night. Could not change after. She decided to stay in cabin and read books or hang with her parents and grandparents. Really enjoyed morning trivia with grandparents. So you never know how a child will respond. Glad our cruise was excursion heavy . Everyone had a nice time with those.

 

 

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[lovescats5]

Actually my 11 yr old granddaughter was disappointed last year (Oasis) also. She thought the kids were not polite to the staff, way to much yelling and not listening to the staff. She left several times and just hung out with us instead of being with in that environment.

[joelheather]

My daughter is turning 12 during our cruise on FOTS (8/4-8/11). I’m a little nervous to have her “be on her own” on the ship, but want her to meet other kids. Thoughts?

 

 

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Its not your kid you need to be concerned about. Don’t live with q false sense of security. Is your daughter allowed to roam her neighborhood at all hours be herself. Is she allowed to come home alone from a friends house late at night alone??? If the answer is no. That should be your answer as well.

 

If yes, thats your choice.

 

 

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