Dumb, Funny, or Embarrassing Moments on Your Cruise

OK...I'm leaving on the 21st of March on Grandeur o the Seas for a 10 day Western Caribbean cruise. Like many, I've been cursing around this forum looking for interesting information, or just some entertainment. This is not my first cruise by the way, but like so many others on this wonderful forum, we all like to pass some time reading about other experiences or answers to questions posted.

But by now I'm full up on MDT, beverage packages, Chops reviews, C&A benefits, my ship is better than you ship, etc. You get the idea. So for fun, and Im sure this has may have been tried before, tell us of the dumbest, funniest, or most embarrassing moment you have had or witnessed on a cruise.

I'll go first.....

Though I've had several, one that stands out was on Graneur of the Seas in July 2009. We stopped at Samana, a port in the Dominican Republic. While on the beach, a local insisted he could sell me Cohiba Cuban Cigars for very cheep prices. They looks and felt real, with government sealed boxes. I checked around and most agreed they were real. So knowing several friends that would appreciate these, I bought several boxes (about 100 cigars) and headed back to the ship.., proud of my accomplishment.

That night at the Schooner bar talking about our day with some other guest, I mentioned my cigar score, and one gentleman started giving me advise on how to sneek thee cigars thru customs in Baltimore. (That is unless I planned to smoke all of them over the next two days). I looked at my wife with obvious confusion and surprise on my face. I never even realized these would have to go thru customs. (To this day I don't understand why I didn't realize this)

Anyway..., I didn't take the guys advise of opening the boxes and spreading them around my suit case. I just placed them in my luggage, filled out the custom forms stating I purchased cigars in the Dominican Republic, and crossed my fingers that customs wouldn't discover them as Cubans.

In Baltimore the next morning, my family headed to the Windjammer for breakfast before we were to disembark the ship. I stayed behind checking we had everything out of the stateroom, then headed for the elevators. As I walked towards the Centrum, an announcement made over the PA.."Would the following passengers please report to US Customs in the Conference room on deck 5..." I didn't pay any attention as the names were read, until the last name was mine !

OPPS...:-0 I ran up to the Windjammer to let my wife know what was going on, kissed the kids and asked them to write me while I was in prison, and headed down to Deck 5. When I located the conference room, inside there were several uniform oficers each with a small desk, and the largest German Shepard I have ever seen, next to the door as I walked in. He gave me a knowing look like "Gotcha Punk" as i waited my turn. An officer called next, I walked over and sat down, while he pulled out a long computer printout with my name on it. It listed the purchases (bar bill for the most part). Rather embarrassing how many pages were attached. He asked for my customs form, and I sat there waiting for the shoe to drop.

"Sir" he said, holding my customs forms and the sail pass printout, "you did not claim several gift shop purchases listed on the Sail Pass printout." I let out a quiet lung full of breath, thinking what is he talking about when I looked at the form and realized my wife bought some gifts and I forgot to claim them on the customs form. The officer handed me a new form and asked me to fill out another and bring it back. After I returned it and he stamped my form, I left the room passing by the German Shepard at the door. The dog looked up at me and gave me a sniff, before I left to return to my family and life as a free man . I really though when they called me I had been caught.

Not sure what really would have happened if I did get caught. For all I know the cigars were not even Cuban, but the seals and wrapping convinced my grateful friends. Regardless, this made a great story for the an FBI agent friend of mine, who I presented one of the boxes of cigars to a few days later.

Next !

I had to contain my laughs out loud at work while reading this...I wish I had some fun stories.... but I only have 2 cruises under my belt...

the only one I really have semi close is that on our honeymoon cruise we were quarantined in our room for 24 hours because my husband had the tummy bug (I blame two nights of drinking and weeding stress)....but anyway, our stateroom attended and room service deliverers would always tease us during these 24 hours about the "Ship a Rockin" because of the honeymooners being on board...my husband was so sick, i sat on the couch 90% of the time...I didnt want that...I will admit though I did sneak out maybe 2 or 3 times to walk around, I was so scared I was going to get caught, and felt like someone was watching me :D

Well mine is really embarrassing. There is something about vacation that makes us a little more ROMANTIC so to speak. My hubby and I sailed with our then 16 year old son in a balcony cabin. My hubby was rather excited to make "whoopie" and being a little adventurous, we went out to the balcony. (quietly... before our son came back.) Needless to say, after a few nights of this happening, we looked up and saw the eye in the sky cameras. OH MY GOSH. Beyond embarrassed. In fact I'm blushing just typing this!!!

(My husband told our friends that we are cruising with (in adjoining rooms) and they were glad we were on the steel hulled Adventure so there was no adjoining balcony!)

My family and I usually embark the ship early and get food and drinks while watching everyone get on. One time, I believe I was on Adventure, my family and a family friend were walking around and decided to hang and watch the long line of embarking passengers. We stopped near a woman who was doing the same thing, we assumed. She started looking down and around and then at us. She asked us, "you know there's water down there?" In a seriously surprised tone. We all nodded politely and gave each other "the look". After she walked away we started crying laughing, and to this day we make this joke whenever we embark the ship.

We were on Celebrity and in a very nice French restaurant , it was not crowded but there was a table about 10 feet from us , a couple about 30, one would leave then come back and the other would leave, then they got the entrée and there were some loud words and the woman picked up her plate and threw it at the man, that was the highlight of the entertainment for that cruise

LOL, excellent! I have nothing to compare, except that horrible sinking feeling... When I took my husband on his first cruise and we were checking in at the port, the nice lady at check-in asked the usual questions, and asked if either of us were sick. My husband immediately piped up and said, why yes! (like in a "thanks for asking!" tone of voice.) We were asked to just stand aside, please while a colleague of hers came to speak with us further. Well, the next 45 minutes were spent with an agent who started a barrage of questions for my poor DH to figure out what horrible plague he was trying to bring on the ship. Which just happened to be seasonal allergies, but my DH just thought the check in person was being kind and sympathetic. They finally let us on board. :o

We became very chummy with a family at our table and we'd play little tricks on each other etc. Somehow during one of our conversations the term "thong" came up and they meant what I call "flip flops" and I explained that to me a thong was mostly underwear And that we only wear them on Thong Thursday.

So Thursday right before dinner, I phoned their cabin and the lady answered and I said "It's Thursday. Don't forget to wear a thong. We're all wearing ours!"

"WHO IS THIS????? And what are you talking about wearing a thong?"

OOOOPS wrong number! :eek:

I've posted this before but I figured new people would be reading this thread. My husband and I were on the Allure in 2012 eating lunch at the WJ. We sat at those tables for two where it's a chair on the outside and a long cushioned bench on the inside.We were seated next to an elderly woman reading a book. My husband got up for a refill and I continued eating. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something drop on the floor but didn't think anything of it. The woman got up and left. The staff came by with two people and told them they could sit where the woman had just gotten up from. The man pulls the table away a bit to let his wife slide in to the bench side and she gasps. She tells her husband "Look what's on the floor!". Me being nosy, look down and so does her husband. The elderly woman had dropped her false teeth on the floor! We all stood there not knowing what to do. The female staffer that had just walked them over came back to see what the problem with the table was. They showed her and she didn't know what to do either lol! I told her the woman had just walked out and she sent someone out in the hallway but she was gone. She ended up using a napkin to pick up the teeth and take them to the lost and found. My husband came back and I told him what he missed. We were all looking at each other like "Did that just really happen?!" Needless to say we had a great story for the rest of our family at dinner that night!

Last cruise, we brought our 15 yo daughter and her friend. First cruise for both of them. After getting into our room, we gave the girls a long talk about how they needed to obey the rules, as if they did not, we could all get thrown off the ship. Then, we let them go exploring. About 30 minutes later, my DH was paged to go to guest services. Thinking the worst, I went with him. They promptly told us to wait, as we needed to talk to security. Uh-oh, I was ready to kill those girls!! The security guy came out and told my husband that he needed to go with him, as they had found a "jacket" in his suitcase...... Huh??? After a few more times of him saying "jacket", I finally said, "bullet?" Scary, but the answer was yes.... Ooops!!! He went with them and I went back to room. Muster came and went and still no hubby. I headed back down. As I was ready to get off on 2, here comes DH. Apparently he had to be interviewed by port police and finally was allowed back on!! Thank goodness, that it was only one bullet( it had slipped under lining of the suitcase and jammed into where the handle was!). Apparently, it helped that he is a retired police officer, but I was so scared I was going to go alone (and I had the car keys). Lesson learned, when the handle won't go down in the suitcase, figure out why!!! Good news is that it fixed the handle problem!!!

Oh these are good!! I can't believe I posted ours but what the heck!!

Keep em coming!

Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app

On the way back from breakfast I was lagging behind my wife, when I turned the corner I saw my wife was already in the room,

I went to the open door, and climbed back into my comfy bed, I assumed my wife was in the bathroom the door was shut.

I heard her call my name, I answered yes and she asked where I was, I am right here in bed ( thinking she was in the bathroom)

no you are not , yes I an laying in bed, an moment later I see her standing in the doorway saying you are in the wrong room!

We were in Cap't Tony's Bar in Key West when in walked a young woman who had just had her nipples pierced. She was very proud of them and kept lifting up her shirt to show them to anyone who walked in. Our private joke is, if you ask my husband what color her eyes were he will tell you "Freckled".

I'll drop another into the mix.......

June 2005, my first cruise on Horizon to Bermuda. Before we left the ship, we purchased a CD from the photo shop of highlights of the cruise.

A few nights later we decided to watch the CD. Minutes went by with various scenes from the cruise, then near the end of the CD... a security video of a hallway on one of the passenger decks. For a few minutes nothing happened, just a view down the hallway with cabin doors on each side.

Suddenly, a cabin door opened and a man carrying a service tray with dishes on it appeared. Oh.. by the way the man was dressed only in his tidy-whiteies. Anyway I guess all he wanted to do was place the tray on the floor by the door for an attendant to pick up. Well...after looking both ways down the hallway...bending over, he managed to accomplish this task...just as his cabin door closed behind him ! Alone in the hallway..., he had this panicked look on his face. "Just knock on the door I said to myself". Nope...it suddenly became apparent that he was alone in the cabin.., so no one to let him back in.

The next few minutes were priceless. He would look up and down the hallway...trying to decide what to do. It was 200 am according to the security camera. At times he would disappear under the camera..I guess gong further up the hallway, then suddenly race back to the door. He then looked down at the tray, and removed all the dishes from the tray and began using it as a modesty shield in front of him. I have to tell you the expression on his face was pure pain. After a minute or more, we noticed he had a goofy smile on his face and suddenly a staff member appeared under the camera with a card to let him in his cabin. Just before he disappeared out of view in his cabin.., you could see his hand come back into view with the modesty tray for the staff attendant.

I never was sure if this was real or just staged by Celebrity...but it was hilarious. Oh...by the way the background music they had for the segment was perfect.

Well mine is really embarrassing. There is something about vacation that makes us a little more ROMANTIC so to speak. My hubby and I sailed with our then 16 year old son in a balcony cabin. My hubby was rather excited to make "whoopie" and being a little adventurous, we went out to the balcony. (quietly... before our son came back.) Needless to say, after a few nights of this happening, we looked up and saw the eye in the sky cameras. OH MY GOSH. Beyond embarrassed. In fact I'm blushing just typing this!!!

 

(My husband told our friends that we are cruising with (in adjoining rooms) and they were glad we were on the steel hulled Adventure so there was no adjoining balcony!)

AHHHHHHHHH don't feel so bad

DW and I have a lot worse stories than that *LOL* our balcony story wasn't on a cruise ship (it was in Las Vegas)

Friends of ours (really) were on a princess cruise.

Now I did post this story a long time ago, but for the

newbies, here it is.

They were in their cabin, having a nice time...;).

Well the lights went on and they thought someone

had walked in and the wife grabbed the blankets and

roll over to the other side of bed onto floor. They

realized that the light switch was just above the bed.

lol. I laughed my head off after I heard that.

We were in Cap't Tony's Bar in Key West when in walked a young woman who had just had her nipples pierced. She was very proud of them and kept lifting up her shirt to show them to anyone who walked in. Our private joke is, if you ask my husband what color her eyes were he will tell you "Freckled".

LOL... gotta love Key West!

Dumb - While in Barcelona, setting our phones on the table in front of us. Within two minutes, they were gone when two men approached us on each side and pulled the "Is this yours?" document on us. We said no and then they picked up the documents along with our phones. We had no clue until a couple of minutes later. They were long gone.

Embarrassing - We were on stage for the Love & Marraige Show. That was embarassing enough, but then they replayed several times on the cabin TVs. We were spotted and recognized all over the ship for the rest of the cruise.

Funny - Our adult kids faces when they heard what we said up on that stage! :D The pictures of their faces are priceless.

I know someone who completely lost her bikini bottoms on the Flowrider on Oasis, but I will never say who! But I'm not ever going on that ;$@% Flowrider again! ;)

LOL, some great stories, I wish I had something to share.;)

I have one to post, though it might not be as funny as some. In our house though, it is still a running joke along with another thing that happened on the way to the cruise. This was in 2011, but I know we will talk about it forever!

Having had no credit cards when I booked this first cruise as just our family (had always gone with extended family before hand) I wanted one for our S&S account instead of our debit card.

DH and I both get brand new Capitol One cards about 8 months before our cruise. These were separate accounts not one account with both our names on it.

In the mean time, we started using the cards for very small purchases every month. 1 subscription on DH's, 2 on mine.

4 days into the cruise we run out of credit on my CC (low limits, $500 each since I didn't want CC's to begin with!) and go to ad my DH's card on. Now I know there is no balance on the card as it was set up to auto-pay that whole $8 a month charge it got every month. There was no reason in the world this card should be declined!

This is why I love Carnival. At Guest Services they let us use their phone free of charge to call Capitol One. So I call, put in his card number and get the automated message of "Congratulations! I see you are calling to activate your new CC!" I feel on the floor laughing! Now remember, this card had been used for 8 months BEFORE this with no problems at all! He even used it to put gas in the car once. By the time I was off the phone, I was sitting on the floor with tears rolling down my face because of laughing so hard. Everyone at Guest Services and who walked passed was looking at me like I was totally bonkers at the time! The story seemed to have spread, and anytime I went to guest services I was the "credit card" girl for the rest of the cruise! :D

AHHHHHHHHH don't feel so bad

 

DW and I have a lot worse stories than that *LOL* our balcony story wasn't on a cruise ship (it was in Las Vegas)

Love it!!

I was entering the buffet from the pool deck when several of us noticed a very elderly gentlemen struggling to get his scooter across the raised door jam. The traffic going in and out was heavy and the scooter needed some space to get enough speed for getting over the jams. So a couple of us directed everyone to clear about 10 feet of space on each side of the door. The gentleman, who now has an audience of about 50 watching, back the scooter up the 10 feet then took off. He got so much speed that his scooter hit the jam and went air born by at least 6 inches. It was a rocky landing but he scootered off into the crowd with a huge smile and a standing ovation.

Burt

Went into a public washroom one evening. Wonder why there was no urinal along the wall. Then I saw the sanitary napkin disposal container in the cubicles. Oooops.

Went into a public washroom one evening. Wonder why there was no urinal along the wall. Then I saw the sanitary napkin disposal container in the cubicles. Oooops.

Have done that too many times. Luckily I was a plumber so would pretend to be checking for a leaky basin tap, before leaving quickly.:o

I had to contain my laughs out loud at work while reading this...I wish I had some fun stories.... but I only have 2 cruises under my belt...

 

the only one I really have semi close is that on our honeymoon cruise we were quarantined in our room for 24 hours because my husband had the tummy bug (I blame two nights of drinking and weeding stress)....but anyway, our stateroom attended and room service deliverers would always tease us during these 24 hours about the "Ship a Rockin" because of the honeymooners being on board...my husband was so sick, i sat on the couch 90% of the time...I didnt want that...I will admit though I did sneak out maybe 2 or 3 times to walk around, I was so scared I was going to get caught, and felt like someone was watching me :D

Funny that the bride and I got food poisoning during the 2nd week of our Honeymoon, about 5000 years ago, we were as sick as dogs, holding her hair while she drove to big porcelain bus, her running to get me a bin when I had such bad cramps I couldn't get out of bed.

We laugh about it NOW