Wedding cruise isn't going as planned

My fiance and I decided to have cruise ship wedding because we couldn't figure out how to have a wedding with a 5k budget in SoCal, on the beach for 100+ people (from several different states) and to give it a beautiful romantic feeling. I went over every option I could to see if I could do it all for 5k. I am good a budgeting and saving money, but I can't DIY my whole wedding, feed that many people and entertain most of the out of towners for a week, while hosting them in my house and finding lodging for them in other peoples houses, etc. My FH really had no clue about how much weddings cost. He thought I was just making up stuff and making things sound harder than they are. I always wanted to get married on an Island, just he and I. We could Skype everyone and have reception later. He didn't think people did that. I have since proved my point many times over. He wanted the whole sh-bang. The whole wedding ensemble.

Once I let him start navigating how much it is just to rent a wedding venue (nothing else) he realized that it's not an option. Then he thought, we will raise our budge (this is how it always starts) He thought I was being cheap for not wanting to raise the budget. Once he started navigating some more, he found that even when raising the budget, some how... you have to raise it again and again and again. So after so much back and forth of how to do this and what state to have it in, we decided to have it on a cruise. No so stressful with the planning. We both own a business together and don't have a lot of time to plan a wedding. So this ease of lot of burdens. But created others.

Anyways... we invited our closest friends and family to attend. Well..... everyone on his side immediately freaked out and said no. They wouldn't be able to afford it. Even though we were giving everyone 9 months notice. Still...they are completely unwilling to try. Even though when we travel for weddings, no matter the state, it's no less that $500. So he was going through some heartache knowing his family won't even try. His Dad and Stepmother are going because they are normal people and they care. On my side, I don't have any friends so that's not a problem. I got a lot of "yays" upfront but now 4 months further down the road...... I've got my Dad and my sister. So we will have a total of 4 guests and us. This is not what either of us were expecting. Is it even worth it? His dad and stepmother paid for our Jr. Suite on the cruise as a wedding present. Should we just forget about this, consider it a dumb idea and just take a vacation with his dad and stepmother? Do you think there is even a point to have 4 guests on the cruise? My sister was supposed to bring her whole family but now that she has done the math... she's freaking out over the whole bill. My dads on a fixed income. I have 4 other brothers that aren't going (including their families). FH has 3 siblings (and their families) that aren't going. None of our friends are going to go.

Were we selfish to even think this was a good idea? I can't help feeling like a jerk because this was the only way I knew to weed out the wedding guest list and really only have people there that matter, have it be something we could afford, have it be in that magical place I wanted (but couldn't afford) and it will feed and entertain my guests for a week. And they actually get a once in a lifetime vacation out of this. But most of our families are paycheck to paycheck people. We thought they would try for us. They some how manage to take themselves on vacations but freak out over the ability to pay for a cruise for our wedding. No one on his side has even congratulated us. They just said NO.

If I cave and find some way to do a land locked wedding, then we give into everyone who wasn't willing to try at all for us on the cruise. But we still have the issue of his Dad and Stepmother who paid for our cabin on the cruise. Do we break their hearts, make them upset? Has anyone been in this situation before? I don't know what to do and I don't want to sound pretentious asking people to pay to go on cruise to see us get married.

And my cruise agent doesn't seem to be the best fit. He's nice and he's been doing this a long time but I get really frustrated with him because of some of his comments and his lack of communication.

I asked my FH if we should have a simple ceremony in SoCal and one in N. Idaho so that we could share this with family and then go on the cruise. He said that was a wasted idea. If they want to see us get married, they can try and go on the cruise. But the airfare alone getting to Ft. Lauderdale is no less than $500 per person. My father can barely pay for himself to go on the cruise. FH's mother is on a fixed income because she chooses not work and hasn't even offer to contribute even though she's not going on the cruise. It's just making us see our family in a different light and I don't want this to cause irreparable harm.

Can anyone offer any insight or wisdom into this situation? :(

E. Carribean Cruise

Carnival Breeze 1-30-16 thru 2-7-16

together for 10.5 years, engaged for 1.5 years.

HELP!!!

Congratulations first off :)

Sorry to hear you are having issues.

I can remember reading about Carnival Weddings that your guests could either go on a cruise/Come on the boat for wedding then Debark?

I am not sure which you meant to do but the latter option will definitely be budget friendly for everyone and they will see you off at port which would be lovely I think.

Personally...if it were me I would get married, go on the cruise then have a coming back married party.

By the way, we adore Carnival. No matter what happens you will love your cruise and enjoy your time together.

We live in San Francisco, and our son got married here. They rented a balcony in City Hall for the wedding itself, after that a room in a restaurant in Emeryville - all was beautiful, everybody loved it, even my father who always complain.

As for a cruise... maybe I missed it, but did you ask your relatives if they will go on a cruise? I don't see that in your post. A cruise is not for everyone.

Also, living in CA you want to cruise out of Florida. Is this where most of your relatives live? Why not out of LA or San Diego? There are many cruises that are less expensive if you consider no flights.

By the way, cruising is not cheap. You pay for your cabin, add mandatory tips, add alcohol and whatever else you want to buy on the ship, on shore, maybe tours... Can you and your relatives afford this?

Wow. I am somewhat shocked by all you wrote. I guess I would ask whether it is the wedding or marriage that matters most. Next I would ask ...if you know all these people live paycheck to paycheck why are you considering a destination wedding. Any destination, island, cruise, or otherwise is going to cost 500 to 1000 per person....minimum. Is this really fair to people who are living paycheck to paycheck.

I can appreciate your budgeting and still trying to have a special wedding, but I think based on your expectations you will not be happy with a cruise wedding which tries to have lots of people attend. There may be a solution though. If the n laws are still willing to pay for the cruise then go yourselves and have a wonderful wedding on board or even on an island...and a special honeymoon. Then take your husbands suggestion and go to each of your hometowns and have a big party reception. The truth is, on your wedding day you dont spend much time with those in attendance, but at a reception you would have the whole time to party and be with friends and family. You would not have to worry over wedding details but could enjoy!!

From what you said it sounds like there is just going to be a lot of unhappiness and disension with family and friends if you keep pushing this....even with your fiance. There is a difference between what you would love to happen and what is reality for families and their financial constraints. Please consider those who would like to celebrate with you but genuinely cannot afford what you are asking. Enjoy a special time with your husband to be...just the two of you as you begin your lives together. Then party like there is no tomorrow in a more affordable way with those who want to celebrate your happiness. Keep peace....a fight over location and money will never be worth it. Seriously, would you want to be on a cruise with a few people, none of whom are having fun because they are so concerned about their finances.

Best wishes and I do hope you can see your way through this with the focus of longterm happiness and peace.

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The issue is we/they are all west coast people and the cruise leave Miami. So the airfare alone is as much as a cabin on a boat. ;( I do appreciate you reading my terrible vent. Than you for responding and trying to help me find a way to make it work.

I am at a loss. I know everyone says stick to your guns when it comes to your wedding but has anyone every had a wedding turn into just dinner for 6? And I don't want my FH to find more reason to be mad at his family. Although, I don't think making our wedding easier for them to attend (for free) is the answer, but I don't think having, what we thought was mini get away with our nearest and dearest, turn into what feel likes dinner at Claim Jumpers, the way we want to look back at our wedding. ;(

So I know these people are your relatives but the way you are making your wedding budget friendly is by shifting all the costs to your guests and your excuse for doing this is that they get a vacation out of it. Sorry sister, you are in the wrong. It is not your place to make someone spend their vacation time, vacation money and family time all to celebrate your wedding.

Not to sound too mean, but you two have been shacking up for longer than many people have been married. Your family already considers you married and probably thinks this whole wedding is a big ole gift grab.

If you want a big island wedding then pony up the cash and pay for it. Quit shifting the monetary obligation to other persons. I also am sitting here slack jawed at your comment on your downright disgust over your comments about how your future MIL hasn't offered you any cash towards a wedding. You are two grown adults, nobody owes you a wedding.

Oy! This idea was a non-starter to begin with!!!

Go before a judge, and the two of you then go on the cruise! You are trying to do something that likely is not practical if not possible.

Who do you REALLY WANT on the cruise? Can you use some of the $5,000 budget you had to get those really special people onto the cruise? And then as Velvetwater suggested, use the rest for a reception/party when you get done with the cruise?

You are so far out, can't you cancel the cruise and get your deposit back? I don't know much about Carnival but on HAL we can do that?

It is a very bad idea, IMO, to start your marriage without family and friends supporting you. The most important things in life are your family and friends, the people......... Much more important you have those you love and presumably love you by your side and if it means a picnic, box lunch on the beach, there are worse things you could do. Doesn't sound so awful for Southern California. :)

If you are able, try to readjust your thinking. You are marrying the man you love, he and you have family and it clearly matters to you for them to be a part of your wedding day.

Take the $5,000 or slightly increased sum you mentioned you might be able to raise it to and spend it wisely. Who cares if you eat sandwiches, salads and wedding cake? It matters you have a long, happy, healthy life together enjoying each other and those you love.

And why did you think it a good idea to fly from West Coast to FLL for the cruise when you could board in CA?

You cannot expect people to pay for these 'fancy plans'.

JMO..... :o

Have a small ceremony in a chapel or city hall invite the relatives if they can make fine if not so sorry they will miss your wedding

Go on the cruise & enjoy it

When you get back maybe have a small house party for those that live close by to celebrate your marriage

You will never please everyone

I agree asking people to go on a cruise that they may not be able to afford is a bad idea from the start

JMO

Wow. I am somewhat shocked by all you wrote. I guess I would ask whether it is the wedding or marriage that matters most. Next I would ask ...if you know all these people live paycheck to paycheck why are you considering a destination wedding. Any destination, island, cruise, or otherwise is going to cost 500 to 1000 per person....minimum. Is this really fair to people who are living paycheck to paycheck.

 

I can appreciate your budgeting and still trying to have a special wedding, but I think based on your expectations you will not be happy with a cruise wedding which tries to have lots of people attend. There may be a solution though. If the n laws are still willing to pay for the cruise then go yourselves and have a wonderful wedding on board or even on an island...and a special honeymoon. Then take your husbands suggestion and go to each of your hometowns and have a big party reception. The truth is, on your wedding day you dont spend much time with those in attendance, but at a reception you would have the whole time to party and be with friends and family. You would not have to worry over wedding details but could enjoy!!

 

From what you said it sounds like there is just going to be a lot of unhappiness and disension with family and friends if you keep pushing this....even with your fiance. There is a difference between what you would love to happen and what is reality for families and their financial constraints. Please consider those who would like to celebrate with you but genuinely cannot afford what you are asking. Enjoy a special time with your husband to be...just the two of you as you begin your lives together. Then party like there is no tomorrow in a more affordable way with those who want to celebrate your happiness. Keep peace....a fight over location and money will never be worth it. Seriously, would you want to be on a cruise with a few people, none of whom are having fun because they are so concerned about their finances.

 

Best wishes and I do hope you can see your way through this with the focus of longterm happiness and peace.

 

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He doesn't want to do that though. He doesn't want any receptions. I suggested a long time ago that we just get married by ourselves and come back for a reception. Which is why everyone goes to a wedding anyways. I suggest a little ceremony for everyone to attend and we can just go to a restaurant or something afterwards. He wanted the wedding. I am okay with the small/intimacy part of the wedding/ceremony. He is not.

As far as our guest and their incomes, even people who live paycheck to paycheck can save for something big and special. That's why we figured giving everyone nine months to save would be ample time to set aside a little money each month towards a cruise. Some people are perfectly capable of doing it. And then there are always the people who say they can't afford it but have no problem going out to eat all the time, going camping all the time, taking a boat out, going on their own vacations, etc. We said from the very beginning that if someone wanted to go but couldn't come up with all the money, I have no problem working harder to help pay for someone. I just need them to try as well. I don't want to work my buns off to pay for someone because they don't want to try and save.

I heard this from someone who travels a lot, they said that as long as you think you can never afford to travel, you never will. But the truth is, you have to want to travel. You will find that the love of travel will encourage you to set aside money every month in order to reach your goal. The little goal of buying food out and drinking at the bars with your friends, those little goals will always take precedence over the big goal.

I lost my Mother, both my grandmothers, my brother, my aunt and I almost lost my father,all within a few years. I decided that I needed to make this memory with my family. I needed them to want to make this memory for each other. I don't know how much longer I will have my father. But while I have him, I wanted to have this once in a lifetime family vacation that I just happened to be getting married at.

Together for 10.5 years already and now planning a $$$$ wedding ?

I don't get it I guess ?

So I know these people are your relatives but the way you are making your wedding budget friendly is by shifting all the costs to your guests and your excuse for doing this is that they get a vacation out of it. Sorry sister, you are in the wrong. It is not your place to make someone spend their vacation time, vacation money and family time all to celebrate your wedding.

 

Not to sound too mean, but you two have been shacking up for longer than many people have been married. Your family already considers you married and probably thinks this whole wedding is a big ole gift grab.

 

If you want a big island wedding then pony up the cash and pay for it. Quit shifting the monetary obligation to other persons. I also am sitting here slack jawed at your comment on your downright disgust over your comments about how your future MIL hasn't offered you any cash towards a wedding. You are two grown adults, nobody owes you a wedding.

While I can appreciate your honesty, there is so much more to this than the picture that you are trying to paint. I don't really think you coming at me in such a fashion is necessary. I don't think you really have any idea about what is going on. But I just realized I am the fool who joined a message board looking for some honest advice and all I got was someone who wants to try and degrade me through text. I don't appreciate that one bit and I don't deserve it. I don't need you to make me feel like crap. I have the rest of life to do that for me. And I'm sorry that you think taking a family vacation means that I'm a gift grabber. I could say a lot of things right now but I am not going to. I will keep my views to myself. All I can say is that your tone towards me is very unbecoming.

He doesn't want to do that though. He doesn't want any receptions. I suggested a long time ago that we just get married by ourselves and come back for a reception. Which is why everyone goes to a wedding anyways. I suggest a little ceremony for everyone to attend and we can just go to a restaurant or something afterwards. He wanted the wedding. I am okay with the small/intimacy part of the wedding/ceremony. He is not.

 

As far as our guest and their incomes, even people who live paycheck to paycheck can save for something big and special. That's why we figured giving everyone nine months to save would be ample time to set aside a little money each month towards a cruise. Some people are perfectly capable of doing it. And then there are always the people who say they can't afford it but have no problem going out to eat all the time, going camping all the time, taking a boat out, going on their own vacations, etc. We said from the very beginning that if someone wanted to go but couldn't come up with all the money, I have no problem working harder to help pay for someone. I just need them to try as well. I don't want to work my buns off to pay for someone because they don't want to try and save.

 

I heard this from someone who travels a lot, they said that as long as you think you can never afford to travel, you never will. But the truth is, you have to want to travel. You will find that the love of travel will encourage you to set aside money every month in order to reach your goal. The little goal of buying food out and drinking at the bars with your friends, those little goals will always take precedence over the big goal.

 

I lost my Mother, both my grandmothers, my brother, my aunt and I almost lost my father,all within a few years. I decided that I needed to make this memory with my family. I needed them to want to make this memory for each other. I don't know how much longer I will have my father. But while I have him, I wanted to have this once in a lifetime family vacation that I just happened to be getting married at.

Your issue is that you are (needlessly) trying to mix things. You want to give your dad something to remember, book him a cabin next to yours on the honeymoon or take him somewhere yourself.

Money - Remember that most people spend very little to literally ATTEND a wedding as the bride & groom pay for the wedding...not the attendees. Sure, they will give gifts but sometimes those gifts are whatever people can afford and that may mean a $50 gift certificate to Target.

Time - Wedding attender's typically only burn a day (or maybe a long weekend) going to a wedding. Sure, YOU want and deserve a cruise and can afford to take time off work to do so. Have you considered that your potential attendees simply don't have that luxury?

Your current budget simply may not be large enough budget to accomplish what you want but it could be close. You may want to consider booking and paying (out of your OWN pocket) for 10 inside cabins (e.g. $800 each) for a 3-day weekend cruise (within a 3 hour drive to port) AND told your wedding guest that it's a "first come first served" kind of opportunity, you might just get more participation. You give them a free cruise and they give you 3 days of their time. Sounds like a good deal for everyone

I think it unlikely we can help you.

Each has our own view of what really matters most and levels of maturity and practicality. What works for one of us might not work for another.

You and your fiancé will likely have to work this out yourselves. Think of it as the first of many challenges you will face in your lives.... we all have one issue or another to deal with.

All my best wishes for many happy years together in good health and happiness. Sorry I wasn't able to make any 'suitable' suggestions but I don't seriously think any of us can.

I say it's your wedding, and you're entitled to do whatever you want. If it's really important that all your friends and family see you get married - then you won't be happy with a cruise wedding when only a few people are there. But otherwise, it's not your problem whether or not someone can afford your plans, no one is forcing them to come. To me, those wedding with 100+ people on the guest list are a preposterous waste of money anyway, where you feel like you're obligated to invite every cousin twice removed and every friend of a friend.

There's a possible other option. What about arranging for a cruise for the two of you out of SoCal port - where the wedding is on the ship the day of departure, your guests come aboard for the ceremony, and then they leave and you go on the cruise? That way, you keep the venue and food costs down to a very reasonable level and you don't have to entertain anyone, the whole ceremony and reception is done in a couple of hours. It will force you to cut down the guest list because there's a limit of how many people they will allow (I don't know exactly how many, you'd need to ask the cruise line).

And if you don't like your travel agent right now, ditch him/her and find someone that is on the same wavelength as you. No need to add another unnecessary stressor to your life!

If you want to do a cruise wedding...then do so :)

How many times have we all planned a wedding or a reception, or any family gathering, to accommodate certain people....and then they don't show up anyway!

Enjoy the 4 people who can go with you.

If your Dad is on a fixed income, pay for his cruise and be glad you still have him around to witness this and enjoy it.

Nothing wrong with a small wedding party!

Have it filmed and then when you get back, throw together some food and drink and have those interested to come watch the video of your cruise wedding.

Worry about pleasing you and your soon-to-be husband.

:)

Please come back and let us know what you decided!

I think some posters have been a little hard to the OP here.

Weddings are special times that can worry and get people people very emotional and what you are feeling is completely normal. As someone who also lost her mother before she was married I can completely understand the want to have all your nearest and dearest around more than ever and trying to make it happy for everyone.

I didn't see the East/West Coast thing initially. Is there any way you could rebook with Carnival to a West Cost cruise? Many of these are typically shorter and it would still be excellent. Or as I said before I think Carnival let on guests for a ceremony and to see you off then they disembark afterwards and guests who want to cruise set sail with the wedding party.

By the way, theres nothing wrong with a long courtship/engagement then a nice wedding. My assistant was together with her husband for 12 years before they married. Many decades later they are still happy with 2 grown up children.

I would do a small family wedding in city hall/chapel and then go on the cruise with the few people who can and want to do it.

You can have a BBQ type party (NOT a reception) later for the extended family. That's what I would do.

So I know these people are your relatives but the way you are making your wedding budget friendly is by shifting all the costs to your guests and your excuse for doing this is that they get a vacation out of it. Sorry sister, you are in the wrong. It is not your place to make someone spend their vacation time, vacation money and family time all to celebrate your wedding.

 

Not to sound too mean, but you two have been shacking up for longer than many people have been married. Your family already considers you married and probably thinks this whole wedding is a big ole gift grab.

 

If you want a big island wedding then pony up the cash and pay for it. Quit shifting the monetary obligation to other persons. I also am sitting here slack jawed at your comment on your downright disgust over your comments about how your future MIL hasn't offered you any cash towards a wedding. You are two grown adults, nobody owes you a wedding.

I agree 100%.

We were in a somewhat similar situation to you. We live in central, DW has family in the south and on the west coast and my family and friends are all on the east coast. Every time we sat down to plan a wedding the logistics and the costs kept escalating. And, we knew that our parents just did not have the funds to fly to meet us, so we had to fly to one and fly the other to us.

It didn't matter how we looked at options, the fact was that with everyone living all over the country, a wedding was going to cost a lot of money. And, after being together for 10 years, we didn't want to spend it. We would rather keep the funds in our investments than have a party. And neither one of us felt good about asking family to come up with thousands of dollars to attend our wedding when we knew that they simply do not have it.

So, we eloped. Just the two of us, and it was wonderful. So much more romantic than anything that we ever could have imagined or planned for. Perfect in every way. And you can guess the honeymoon - a cruise, of course.

The fact is that all weddings are limited by budgets. There is only so far that the money will go. Also accept that today, geography plays a huge role in your attendee list.

BTW: we got the wedding of our dreams and our honeymoon for less than the $5000 that you have just for the wedding. And let's be honest, do you really want your family members with you on your honeymoon??? In the end, we were glad that our weren't on ours.

When you want to have folks attend your wedding, it's up to YOU to make it easy and cheap for them! They may love you, and wish you well, but folks have other things to do with their money besides coming to party with you.

Get over it. Go to a courthouse...get married, and host a party at home, where your friends and family don't have to mortgage their home or deplete their retirement fund to "honor" you.

Jeez.

I am confused as to what you want and it sounds like you and your fiancée are also in disagreement. Here is my best suggestion. Go on the cruise as your honeymoon. If you have a few family join you, find a quiet place on the ship to say your vows to each other in front of your family and have some pictures taken. Skip the ship run wedding. A ship run wedding is not inexpensive. If you take this cruise by yourself, you will get some beautiful pictures to put together a wonderful honeymoon album.

You do NOT need a junior suite. A balcony cabin is more than sufficient. Personally, I would be happy in an inside cabin and use the rest of the money for the excursions, tips, drinks, and other extras. Hopefully you will fly in the day before the cruise.

I will throw this out here knowing the facts do not match yours, but to illustrate that you can put together something on a budget that works for you. My son and daughter in law had a destination wedding in state where they met. They could not find a person of their religion to officiate in that state. They found a judge who performed the ceremony on a hilltop in front of the immediate family. That night they had a small reception for a larger group of people with a wedding ceremony at the venue where a friend acted as the official. It is here they said their vows to each other. We all got to dress up and walk down the aisle. About a month later, after the honeymoon, we had our friends and family to our house and they had an official religious wedding. I do not have a big house, but these were friends. I did not spend a fortune on food, just a lot of home cooked buffet food, some of which was cooked and brought by my friends. My boss made a 3 tier wedding cake.

Don't be mad at people for not wanting to go on this cruise. I have been trying for years to get my 3 children and their families to get together for a cruise. I would pay for everyone. I cannot get any 2 families together for 10 days. Part of the problem is that they are all over the country and a cruise with travel time is very time consuming for people who are working and/or going to school.

You may get some more insight on the wedding and honeymoon boards which you can find here http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=31

Congratulations and good luck. A wedding is a few hours of your whole life. Don't let this spoil it for you.

My fiance and I decided to have cruise ship wedding because we couldn't figure out how to have a wedding with a 5k budget in SoCal, on the beach for 100+ people (from several different states) and to give it a beautiful romantic feeling. I went over every option I could to see if I could do it all for 5k. I am good a budgeting and saving money, but I can't DIY my whole wedding, feed that many people and entertain most of the out of towners for a week, while hosting them in my house and finding lodging for them in other peoples houses, etc. My FH really had no clue about how much weddings cost. He thought I was just making up stuff and making things sound harder than they are. I always wanted to get married on an Island, just he and I. We could Skype everyone and have reception later. He didn't think people did that. I have since proved my point many times over. He wanted the whole sh-bang. The whole wedding ensemble.

 

Once I let him start navigating how much it is just to rent a wedding venue (nothing else) he realized that it's not an option. Then he thought, we will raise our budge (this is how it always starts) He thought I was being cheap for not wanting to raise the budget. Once he started navigating some more, he found that even when raising the budget, some how... you have to raise it again and again and again. So after so much back and forth of how to do this and what state to have it in, we decided to have it on a cruise. No so stressful with the planning. We both own a business together and don't have a lot of time to plan a wedding. So this ease of lot of burdens. But created others.

 

Anyways... we invited our closest friends and family to attend. Well..... everyone on his side immediately freaked out and said no. They wouldn't be able to afford it. Even though we were giving everyone 9 months notice. Still...they are completely unwilling to try. Even though when we travel for weddings, no matter the state, it's no less that $500. So he was going through some heartache knowing his family won't even try. His Dad and Stepmother are going because they are normal people and they care. On my side, I don't have any friends so that's not a problem. I got a lot of "yays" upfront but now 4 months further down the road...... I've got my Dad and my sister. So we will have a total of 4 guests and us. This is not what either of us were expecting. Is it even worth it? His dad and stepmother paid for our Jr. Suite on the cruise as a wedding present. Should we just forget about this, consider it a dumb idea and just take a vacation with his dad and stepmother? Do you think there is even a point to have 4 guests on the cruise? My sister was supposed to bring her whole family but now that she has done the math... she's freaking out over the whole bill. My dads on a fixed income. I have 4 other brothers that aren't going (including their families). FH has 3 siblings (and their families) that aren't going. None of our friends are going to go.

 

Were we selfish to even think this was a good idea? I can't help feeling like a jerk because this was the only way I knew to weed out the wedding guest list and really only have people there that matter, have it be something we could afford, have it be in that magical place I wanted (but couldn't afford) and it will feed and entertain my guests for a week. And they actually get a once in a lifetime vacation out of this. But most of our families are paycheck to paycheck people. We thought they would try for us. They some how manage to take themselves on vacations but freak out over the ability to pay for a cruise for our wedding. No one on his side has even congratulated us. They just said NO.

 

If I cave and find some way to do a land locked wedding, then we give into everyone who wasn't willing to try at all for us on the cruise. But we still have the issue of his Dad and Stepmother who paid for our cabin on the cruise. Do we break their hearts, make them upset? Has anyone been in this situation before? I don't know what to do and I don't want to sound pretentious asking people to pay to go on cruise to see us get married.

 

And my cruise agent doesn't seem to be the best fit. He's nice and he's been doing this a long time but I get really frustrated with him because of some of his comments and his lack of communication.

 

I asked my FH if we should have a simple ceremony in SoCal and one in N. Idaho so that we could share this with family and then go on the cruise. He said that was a wasted idea. If they want to see us get married, they can try and go on the cruise. But the airfare alone getting to Ft. Lauderdale is no less than $500 per person. My father can barely pay for himself to go on the cruise. FH's mother is on a fixed income because she chooses not work and hasn't even offer to contribute even though she's not going on the cruise. It's just making us see our family in a different light and I don't want this to cause irreparable harm.

 

Can anyone offer any insight or wisdom into this situation? :(

 

E. Carribean Cruise

Carnival Breeze 1-30-16 thru 2-7-16

together for 10.5 years, engaged for 1.5 years.

 

HELP!!!

You can do your land based wedding if you will think outside the box.

Want a wedding on the beach? You are in LA - get your guests and meet at the beach at a set time. Sure, it won't be private, it won't have chairs but you can do it

Reception? Do it at home. You've been together 10 years, just have a party as your reception, either in your yard or at the club house at your complex.

Skip the flowers, or most of them. Skip the fancy food, your friends and family don't care.

There are lots of things you can do without spending a fortune.

The thing you have to do is skip the cruise for the wedding. Make it your honeymoon, and take your dad along.

Another thing to consider is what do you see yourself doing on the cruise. Are you going to be doing typical honeymoon activities for 2 leaving your guest to find their own things to do or are you going to be spending most of your time with your guest. People travelling with you will likely want to know so they know what they are getting into as far as port time, dinning etc.