How to quiet the negativity of your fellow cruisers?

[Arzeena]

i did just the opposite back in the days before anytime dining. Night 1, we were seated with a couple who were prolific complainers. Plus they were cruise braggarts, which made them even more annoying. When they got around to asking what i do for a living, i told them i was on parole after a long prison term and that my doctor recommend a cruise to treat my violent tendencies.

 

I thought my wife was going to kill me but it worked. They requested a table change. :d

 

lol!:d:d

[EatonDoolittle]

Many times on a cruise your tablemates or others in your party will start complaining about some minor incident, such as the waiter forgot to refill their water glass and then others chime in about their many complaints also and soon it sounds like you are on the cruise to hell.

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

 

I had one once at breakfast - old guy going on and on about how awful everything was, alternated with with how many (zillions) of cruises he had taken.

 

I was entertained for a few minutes,but finally turned to him and said "Wow, things are so awful for you, sounds like you better stop cruising and find a new vacation strategy". He shut up, the rest of the table smiled. No one would commiserate with him, which is what he wanted.

 

But, as others have said, you can't really stop these types. Just ignore them, or have fun with them.

[Langley Cruisers]

Hummm - you started a thread to complain about the fact that when others complain it is wrong. Figure that one out ??

 

Gosh, someone always says that in a thread like this. :rolleyes::p

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

 

Honestly, I don't think it's up to you to tell someone else how to spend their vacation. There are grumpy people, miserable people, complainers in all walks of life - I think sometimes we just find them more concentrated on a cruise ship. :D We are like you, trying to find the good in every situation and not sweat the small stuff. However... did you ever consider that some people may complain about that? :o

 

.

[Elsisi]

As my work supervisor always says "You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to."

 

Smile, walk away, and find someone else to hang out with.

 

 

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[cbr663]

Some people may be sharing their poor experiences to determine whether the problems are isolated to them or if they are ship wide. It helps them determine how they wish to address the issues. Some may even be trying to determine whether the issue is normal and if maybe they are over reacting to it.

 

The try negative nellies, though, like the boastful Bettie's, just have very poor social skills. Best to move on to another table.

[pris993]

Anyone who has cruised a few times knows that if you are with other people who gripe and complain about everything the whole cruise, that it can ruin the cruise or at least dampen your spirits a little while cruising.

 

A cruise is my vacation and I refuse to let any little thing ruin it for me. I try to stay as upbeat as possible and just let the little things slide. I believe that if I had been on the Titanic that I would have been the most cheerful person there.

 

Many times on a cruise your tablemates or others in your party will start complaining about some minor incident, such as the waiter forgot to refill their water glass and then others chime in about their many complaints also and soon it sounds like you are on the cruise to hell.

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

 

The best approach for us is a table for 2; we don't go on a cruise to meet people... work out well.

[NLH Arizona]

Anyone who has cruised a few times knows that if you are with other people who gripe and complain about everything the whole cruise, that it can ruin the cruise or at least dampen your spirits a little while cruising.

 

A cruise is my vacation and I refuse to let any little thing ruin it for me. I try to stay as upbeat as possible and just let the little things slide. I believe that if I had been on the Titanic that I would have been the most cheerful person there.

 

Many times on a cruise your tablemates or others in your party will start complaining about some minor incident, such as the waiter forgot to refill their water glass and then others chime in about their many complaints also and soon it sounds like you are on the cruise to hell.

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

I don't think you can tell them to stop complaining, because some people are just built that way.

 

What I do is, if they complained about the waiter forgetting to refill their water glass, I would say, well it might take a little time, but it sure beats doing yourself at home and then laugh. I've thankfully never been at a table where folks complain about a lot of things, but if I were ever sat at one of those tables, I would simply ask the Maitre d to switch me to another table.

[pris993]

I never really could understand the concept of complaining while on VACATION!!! If you dont like somthing move on to somthing else sheesh :D

 

 

Agree, for example, if we don't like the service or food in the mdr we skip it. have done so on a few cruises, never missed it either.

 

We look for what we enjoy and go for it. cruise ships today have lots of options no reason to put up with something that is not enjoyable.

[Doggielover68]

It's not nice to judge others since you don't know what is really going on in their lives. When people have to work 51 weeks of the year to be able to save for a one week vacation, they want everything to be perfect. As someone who struggles with anxiety, it doesn't take much to upset me, although I don't complain to strangers/ guest services because it seems like a waste of time, I'd rather pout in my room or on a deck chair in the sunshine for 20 minutes until it passes. At dinner, we sit at a table for two.

 

That being said, if you don't like the way people are, ask for a new table or just ignore them. As for those of you who think "people aren't happy unless they are complaining," you are wrong.

 

 

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[Nanobot]

One I use once in a while: I say, I am sorry that happened, was there anything today that made you happy?

[Justwant2cruise]

I'm always surrounded with negative peeps , those who notice the bad things first , I just tell them to shut up , I'm not going to spend my vacation ( or any other day ) seeking the negatives , I once spent my time trying to point out the positives to them but it takes away from my fun , so now I just tell them if they are that unhappy jump off the boat [emoji106]

 

 

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[slidergirl]

Complaining is part of their cruising make-up! Before they even board they are waiting to get in front of Guest Services and let loose their complaints. It makes them happy! It's also a game to get a free bottle of wine, a free specialty dinner, some OBC, whatever, they will spend up to 20% of their cruise complaining. These folks also will remove tips from their on board accounts because now, in their minds, nobody deserves tips. When they leave the ship they will leave happy because it was a great

cruise experience for them. That's how and why they go cruising!

 

+1

 

At my hotel, we call these people "Phishers" - just like the phishing scams on the Internet that try to get your money.

It IS a calculated strategy. I see them every day in various permutations. I've had guests who, when I see them approaching the Front Desk, I KNOW they are going to complain about how it took 7 instead of 5 minutes for their ice to be delivered and they want something in compensation to make up for this service lapse. We had a "family pack" (what we call groups of families who vacation together) where the women in the pack sat in the lobby one afternoon and discussed among themselves who complained about what and what they were given as compensation - it was a game with them to see who could end their stay with the most free stuff and the most taken off their bills as service recoveries. They were dumb enough to not realize we could hear them - the freebies stopped that day and they just walked around in a negative cloud the rest of their vacation because they were going to have to PAY for what they wanted...

Fortunately, the complainers are not the majority of our guests, but there is at least one a day that will make me run to the back office and scream. I always tell myself that I do not ever want to complain on a vacation, unless it is a matter of life or death ;)

[NLH Arizona]

+1

 

At my hotel, we call these people "Phishers" - just like the phishing scams on the Internet that try to get your money.

It IS a calculated strategy. I see them every day in various permutations. I've had guests who, when I see them approaching the Front Desk, I KNOW they are going to complain about how it took 7 instead of 5 minutes for their ice to be delivered and they want something in compensation to make up for this service lapse. We had a "family pack" (what we call groups of families who vacation together) where the women in the pack sat in the lobby one afternoon and discussed among themselves who complained about what and what they were given as compensation - it was a game with them to see who could end their stay with the most free stuff and the most taken off their bills as service recoveries. They were dumb enough to not realize we could hear them - the freebies stopped that day and they just walked around in a negative cloud the rest of their vacation because they were going to have to PAY for what they wanted...

Fortunately, the complainers are not the majority of our guests, but there is at least one a day that will make me run to the back office and scream. I always tell myself that I do not ever want to complain on a vacation, unless it is a matter of life or death ;)

I think cruise lines and hotels are too quick to give someone some kind of compensation when they complain and then it does become a game for some on how much they can get. I see it on this site, where someone tells another poster to write to the cruise line, because they will get something. Maybe if the cruise lines and hotels, simply said, we are really sorry for your inconvenience and I assure you we will do everything in our power to not let it happen again and then let it be, a lot of the complaints might stop, if these complainers realize they won't be getting anything.

[donaldsc]

Anyone who has cruised a few times knows that if you are with other people who gripe and complain about everything the whole cruise, that it can ruin the cruise or at least dampen your spirits a little while cruising.

 

A cruise is my vacation and I refuse to let any little thing ruin it for me. I try to stay as upbeat as possible and just let the little things slide. I believe that if I had been on the Titanic that I would have been the most cheerful person there.

 

Many times on a cruise your tablemates or others in your party will start complaining about some minor incident, such as the waiter forgot to refill their water glass and then others chime in about their many complaints also and soon it sounds like you are on the cruise to hell.

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

 

Anytime dining. Then you are stuck w them for only 1 night. Some solutions are totally obvious.

 

DON

[donaldsc]

I did just the opposite back in the days before anytime dining. Night 1, we were seated with a couple who were prolific complainers. Plus they were cruise braggarts, which made them even more annoying. When they got around to asking what I do for a living, I told them I was on parole after a long prison term and that my doctor recommend a cruise to treat my violent tendencies.

 

I thought my wife was going to kill me but it worked. They requested a table change. :D

 

Great idea. Another one would be to find out a disease that is really gross and really infectious and tell them that you have not been able to work for a while because you have been recovering from disease X and that your doctor has told you that a long sea voyage would help your recovery.

 

DON

[myfuzzy]

It seems like we have identified three types of complainers

 

1. Those who complain as a hobby---find things to complain about and make sure everyone

hears them.

 

2. Those who complain for compensation...look for petty things wrong and expect something for free in return and to brag they got something for free. (I worked retail for 40 years, trust me, there's more people out there that do this than you think)

 

3. Those who have a valid complaint, just bringing it up to others to see if anyone else has

had the same or similar experience to see if it does warrant taking to the proper channels.

 

For me, my responses would be for Number 1....ignore or move on

Number 2....don't get me started

Number 3....If the issue is something that just pertains to me, then, I just might mention it to the appropriate person, to make sure the next person doesn't have to deal with it, or if its something others have experienced too, then I would take it up to the next level to have it taken care of.

[slidergirl]

I think cruise lines and hotels are too quick to give someone some kind of compensation when they complain and then it does become a game for some on how much they can get. I see it on this site, where someone tells another poster to write to the cruise line, because they will get something. Maybe if the cruise lines and hotels, simply said, we are really sorry for your inconvenience and I assure you we will do everything in our power to not let it happen again and then let it be, a lot of the complaints might stop, if these complainers realize they won't be getting anything.

 

Believe me, I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, I get into discussions frequently with my superiors over keeping the guests "happy" to be sure we get good reviews (which is the basis of their bonuses). I've had conversations about a guest's complaint and demand for compensation and we agree that nothing is due - yet, I turn around and see that they DID compensate. One good one from this week: family wants to go horseback riding. family is told about what they need to wear (pants, closed-toe shoes). Mom shows up in a skirt and strappy sandals. Told she cannot ride. Throws a hissy fit, demands her money back. Stable won't do it. She complains to our hotel manager, lies and blames the Concierge for booking with that stable because she did not think the clothes should have been an issue - he falls all over her, we eat the money, her Uber fare back from the stable, and gives her and her family a comp dinner because of HER stupidity... I would have done nothing...

[myfuzzy]

Believe me, I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, I get into discussions frequently with my superiors over keeping the guests "happy" to be sure we get good reviews (which is the basis of their bonuses). I've had conversations about a guest's complaint and demand for compensation and we agree that nothing is due - yet, I turn around and see that they DID compensate. One good one from this week: family wants to go horseback riding. family is told about what they need to wear (pants, closed-toe shoes). Mom shows up in a skirt and strappy sandals. Told she cannot ride. Throws a hissy fit, demands her money back. Stable won't do it. She complains to our hotel manager, lies and blames the Concierge for booking with that stable because she did not think the clothes should have been an issue - he falls all over her, we eat the money, her Uber fare back from the stable, and gives her and her family a comp dinner because of HER stupidity... I would have done nothing...

 

And,THIS, is why I don't work retail anymore...I'm sick of people scamming the system, just so managers don't have to deal with corporate bigshots coming down on them. Sorry, but your post just struck a long buried nerve.

[CARIBPRINCESS]

For our cruise on the Glory a few years ago, she developed thrust problems heading into Nassau. Carnival changed our itinerary because of it. We went to Freeport instead of St. Thomas. We shared a van coming back from the beach and there were about four or five people that kept saying that they were going to sue Carnival for missing a port they wanted to see. After listening to them them for long enough I said that if they had read their contracts, they would have known that Carnival can change the itinerary any time they feel it is necessary and that if they did sue, the only one that would make any money was their lawyers. The rest of the ride was silent.

:D:D:D I just love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People are so unbelievable sometimes!!They just don't know how to relax and just have fun.

[luddite]

It's easy. Don't spend time with them.

[CARIBPRINCESS]

I did just the opposite back in the days before anytime dining. Night 1, we were seated with a couple who were prolific complainers. Plus they were cruise braggarts, which made them even more annoying. When they got around to asking what I do for a living, I told them I was on parole after a long prison term and that my doctor recommend a cruise to treat my violent tendencies.

 

I thought my wife was going to kill me but it worked. They requested a table change. :D

 

This is hilarious!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D

[Tinkerbellcgy]

...

Edited August 17, 2016 by Tinkerbellcgy

[notentirelynormal]

Anyone who has cruised a few times knows that if you are with other people who gripe and complain about everything the whole cruise, that it can ruin the cruise or at least dampen your spirits a little while cruising.

 

A cruise is my vacation and I refuse to let any little thing ruin it for me. I try to stay as upbeat as possible and just let the little things slide. I believe that if I had been on the Titanic that I would have been the most cheerful person there.

 

Many times on a cruise your tablemates or others in your party will start complaining about some minor incident, such as the waiter forgot to refill their water glass and then others chime in about their many complaints also and soon it sounds like you are on the cruise to hell.

 

Have you any polite way to tell these people to stop their complaints so that you can enjoy your vacation and instead to find the positive aspects of their cruise to expound upon?

 

I think you have answered your own question. Calmly, quietly and politely turn to said people and tell them what you just said here. Sometimes people just need to get feedback on their actions. Some people don't realize that they are doing anything wrong and/or don't realize how their negatively affects others.

 

Of course, there are always exceptions to everything.

[ronandannette]

We have friends that we would love to cruise with because we really think we would have a good time together. I'm reluctant to initiate the cruise idea in fear that they may not be cruising people like we are. I understand that there are people out there unlike us who just don't enjoy it. I would hate to encourage someone to take and pay for a vacation they don't enjoy.

That's a very good point. We were "hosted" by some dear family members on an AI vacation that we absolutely hated. Even though we paid for ourselves we didn't feel free to complain because we didn't want to hurt the feelings (or dampen the enjoyment) of the people who initiated the trip. (We bitched plenty to each other in private though and will probably never try another AI. :D )

Some people may be sharing their poor experiences to determine whether the problems are isolated to them or if they are ship wide. It helps them determine how they wish to address the issues. Some may even be trying to determine whether the issue is normal and if maybe they are over reacting to it.

The try negative nellies, though, like the boastful Bettie's, just have very poor social skills. Best to move on to another table.

This is also a very good point, although most of this thread, including the OP, just want to cast the "complainers" in a poor light :rolleyes:. If someone complains to me I try to offer whatever constructive information I have, whether it be a way to improve/resolving their problem or to put the issue in context (if they are new to cruising and have unreasonable expectations, for example).

Edited August 17, 2016 by ronandannette

[notentirelynormal]

I did just the opposite back in the days before anytime dining. Night 1, we were seated with a couple who were prolific complainers. Plus they were cruise braggarts, which made them even more annoying. When they got around to asking what I do for a living, I told them I was on parole after a long prison term and that my doctor recommend a cruise to treat my violent tendencies.

 

I thought my wife was going to kill me but it worked. They requested a table change. :D

 

This is the best ever.