nobody asked me but............

[burtshell]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jimmy Cannon was a sportswriter for the new york post in the 1940's-60's. every now and then he would write a column called "nobody asked me but". for example-i would not have a "bald"barber cut my hair.
here are some of my"nobody asked me but" for cruising.
i did not not know where to place this but since my wife and i just came off the royal princess i decided to put it here.please feel free to add and or comment. i have thick skin.
burtshell

1-i do not care who the cruise director is
2-i do not care who the captain of the ship is
3-late seating is too late and early seating is too early
4-i do not like "baked alaska"
5-there should be escalators on ships
6-why do people eat the scrambled prepared eggs at the buffet instead of the ready to order eggs.
7-going to your dinning room table the 1st night is like going on a "blind date"
8-the two most important people on the ship will be your waiter and cabin steward.
9-safes that require a credit card are ridiculous
10-in general the "brits" are more formal dressers than americans
11-i love to read comments written by the fashion police,especially the one where they told a cruiser that sneakers are not allowed on embarkation night
12-the escargot appetizer is great
13-desserts look better than they taste
14-european cruises are more exciting than caribbean ones
15-we always eat breakfast and lunch in the buffet area
16-my wife does not gain any weight on cruises
17-a sad sight is when you see the luggage lined up in the hall the night before disembarkation
18-i really enjoy talking to the 'brits" regarding the "blitz"
19-the over-the-door-shoe-bag is a wonderful thing to bring
20-the budget for lightbulbs in inside cabins must be very high
21-the first thing we do on embarkation day is to go to the library then the buffet
22-it took 3 cruises to find out who the "friends of bill w" were
23-where can i get an "egg cream" on the ship
24-why is ice coffee not as popular as ice tea
25-why do kilts take the place of a tuxedo and not a pair of short pants
26-why do the women,not the men,always select the seating in the theater
27-the best entertainment,other then a "big"production show was "barty brown" on princess
28-the best buffet luncheon was on the carnival spirt"s panama canal cruise
29-i never asked anyone what they paid for their cruise
30-the funniest line i heard on a cruise was on a day where the ship was rocking and rolling,someone yelled out "will the honeymoon couples cut it out"

my wife and i were on about 35 cruises and never had a bad cruise.

please add,comment or state anything regarding the above.
happy cruising
burtshell

[srphnx]

1-i do not care who the cruise director is
[b]I do, one in particular who sings BADLY[/b].
2-i do not care who the captain of the ship is
[b]Ok, as long as he does't stop going to friends of Bill W meeting suddenly.[/b]
3-late seating is too late and early seating is too early
[b]Agree, that is why I take PC[/b]
4-i do not like "baked alaska"
[b]Me too[/b]
5-there should be escalators on ships
[b]There was on Celebrity[/b]
6-why do people eat the scrambled prepared eggs at the buffet instead of the ready to order eggs.
[b]They get up late and are still asleep[/b]
7-going to your dinning room table the 1st night is like going on a "blind date"
[b]Exactly[/b]
8-the two most important people on the ship will be your waiter and cabin steward.
[b]And your back waiter[/b]
9-safes that require a credit card are ridiculous
[b]Princess only requires a code[/b]
10-in general the "brits" are more formal dressers than americans
[b]pip-pip[/b]
11-i love to read comments written by the fashion police,especially the one where they told a cruiser that sneakers are not allowed on embarkation night
[b]Some people live two lives theirs and yours.[/b]
12-the escargot appetizer is great
[b]ICK[/b]
13-desserts look better than they taste
[b]so don't look, just eat.[/b]
14-european cruises are more exciting than caribbean ones
[b]Indeed[/b]
15-we always eat breakfast and lunch in the buffet area
[b]Dining room has better service[/b]
16-my wife does not gain any weight on cruises
[b]sick and wrong[/b]
17-a sad sight is when you see the luggage lined up in the hall the night before disembarkation
[b]Unless you are on a back to back[/b]
18-i really enjoy talking to the 'brits" regarding the "blitz"
[b]That is an interesting bit of history[/b]
19-the over-the-door-shoe-bag is a wonderful thing to bring
[b]my shoes are too big for it[/b]
20-the budget for lightbulbs in inside cabins must be very high
[b]but they save on curtains.[/b]
21-the first thing we do on embarkation day is to go to the library then the buffet
[b]We go to the buffet and then take a nap[/b]
22-it took 3 cruises to find out who the "friends of bill w" were
[b]I knew before boarding[/b]
23-where can i get an "egg cream" on the ship
[b]from a chicken with a cow for a friend[/b]
24-why is ice coffee not as popular as ice tea
[b]the taste[/b]
25-why do kilts take the place of a tuxedo and not a pair of short pants
[b]kilt wearers are tough enough not to be picked on[/b]
26-why do the women,not the men,always select the seating in the theater
[b]Men are busy thinking of a reason to go back to the casino[/b]
27-the best entertainment,other then a "big"production show was "barty brown" on princess
[b]Ok[/b]
28-the best buffet luncheon was on the carnival spirt"s panama canal cruise
[b]Or Diamonds Bistro[/b]
29-i never asked anyone what they paid for their cruise
[b]I have been told by a few[/b]
30-the funniest line i heard on a cruise was on a day where the ship was rocking and rolling,someone yelled out "will the honeymoon couples cut it out"
[b]Did they?[/b]

[catmand]

[font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]burtshell..........just want to tell you this post could be one of the most clever I have yet to read on the boards. You have some great topics and I was reading them with a large smile......... [url="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001"][img]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_107v.gif[/img][/url].perhaps tomorrow I will stop back and add some of my own, for now.........great post, thanks [/size][/font]

[CruiseFever]

[quote name='catmand'][font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]burtshell..........just want to tell you this post could be one of the most clever I have yet to read on the boards. You have some great topics and I was reading them with a large smile......... [url="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001"][img]http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_107v.gif[/img][/url].perhaps tomorrow I will stop back and add some of my own, for now.........great post, thanks [/size][/font][/QUOTE]

I agree...your great attitude has GOT to have something to do with your35 great cruises!

[Lynda90]

[b]Thanks for the great post, I loved it. I agree with so much of what you said because I just love to cruise and have never been on one I didn't like. You could give Andy Rooney competition. Your writing reminds me of his little talks at the end of 60 Minutes. Thanks again for a good chuckle.[/b]

[fig414]

Great post.
2)I never got the "who's the captain?" question. Who cares.
6)The scrambled egg question was answered perfectly by srphnx. I've been on 3 cruises and I heard a rumor that they actually serve breakfast and lunch in the dining rooms. Maybe I'll try it in 3 weeks. Nah.
7) The "blind date". I think it is more like a wedding. Like when your friend puts you at a table with people you don't know because ("you're so easy to get along with"). Sorry I want to sit with people I know at a wedding. We are trying PC dining for the first time.
Nobody asked me but that is maybe the best post I've seen here.

[kimba_99]

[COLOR=Indigo]I loved reading the first 30 questions by burtshell, especially the last one! and then laughed all over again when reading Steve's answers. Great thread! :D
I can't think of anything to add coz I'm still chuckling about the honeymooners.

Kim[/COLOR]

[NitaBcruising]

[b][size=3][color=indigo]I agree, great thread! I'm not clever enough to think of any others. So, someone else please post more! I enjoyed the laugh! :D [/color][/size][/b]

[Bestbubba]

Thanks so much for that great post!! Just laughed and laughed and then drove my DH balmy reading them all out to him (as he always says "G-d forbid I should be allowed to read CC boards for MYSELF"!!)


It's 0745 here in London and this has certainly sent me off to work with a smile!! :)

Thanks again

Sue

[TinaLee]

Great post burtshell! I agree with just about all of them!

and Steve...

[b]Some people live two lives theirs and yours.[/b]

Had me spitting coffee across my computer screen!! I'm stealing that remark!

also agreed with the [b]sick and wrong [/b]comment!

[sue d. miller]

Great post Burt!! You guys made my morning!! :D

[Julia & David]

I agree, great post. Did remind me of Andy Rooney. Maybe it is Andy Rooney!

[Solo Cruiser]

Great posts!!!! And I might add a few questions:

Why do they put the pictures of you that add at least 10 pounds to your physique directly in your path as you are on your way to the dining room?

Why do only the people who don't gain weight on a cruise discuss it while the rest of us silently just bring 2 sizes of pants?

Why do those of us "frugal" enough to book inside cabins always talk about how great the total darkness is for taking naps?

[regnig]

Great post! Only things I'd like to add are -

1. Please, please, please stop peddling cook books and drink glasses in the dining room! :eek:

2. Hire photographers that can accept a pleasant 'no thank you' without argument.

[GloriaF]

burtshell, I loved it! :D Keep 'em coming!

[stoneharborlady]

Havent seen an egg cream offered anywhere since I left New York thirty years ago. I grew up on them. Boy were they good! Terrific post burtshell!!;)

[spongerob]

Good one for a Friday morning. Thanks!

[CRB#33]

Terrific post :D Great way to start the day!!!

[cynbar]

I must admit, I've been tempted to peek into a Friends of Bill W. Meeting to make sure the captain and other officers weren't in the first row--

[spongerob]

31. the Friends of Dorothy meeting has nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz
32. yes I am in line, please get off my toes
33. I can say with certaintly that entering the ladies' room when intending to go the mens' causes momentary confusion
34. all mothers are programmed to believe their children are perfect; expect Mama Bear to show up if you tell her otherwise
35. I suspect that the hot tubs turn into gene pools very late at night (eewww)
36. holding a Friends of Bill W meeting in a cocktail lounge is bitter irony
37. waves and oceans go hand in hand, deal with it.
38. refusing to drop a few bucks because an island is "poor" does not improve the situation
39. it's kind of fun to push the flush button while still on the stool. Whoosh!
40. everyone has a right to my opinion

[Coolmama_1]

Great post! and I too loved Steve's answers!

Along with the Baked Alaska, don't care if it is in a parade either!:D

[Crowsie]

[quote name='spongerob']31. the Friends of Dorothy meeting has nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz
32. yes I am in line, please get off my toes
33. I can say with certaintly that entering the ladies' room when intending to go the mens' causes momentary confusion
34. all mothers are programmed to believe their children are perfect; expect Mama Bear to show up if you tell her otherwise
35. I suspect that the hot tubs turn into gene pools very late at night (eewww)
36. holding a Friends of Bill W meeting in a cocktail lounge is bitter irony
37. waves and oceans go hand in hand, deal with it.
38. refusing to drop a few bucks because an island is "poor" does not improve the situation
39. it's kind of fun to push the flush button while still on the stool. Whoosh!
40. everyone has a right to my opinion[/QUOTE]


41. Why would anyone get in line early, push shove and elbow their fellow passengers for the Port T-Shirt sale. Just where do they think all these port tshirts are going...they ALWAYS have more.

[DoniaG]

Thanks, folks! Now that I've quit laughing helplessly I'm going to be spending the rest of the day twisting my poor bedraggled brain to try to come up with more - knowing they won't be as funny as these! Keep them coming! Donia:D

[srphnx]

[b][color=black]42 why do people go on relaxing cruise and come back exhausted from excursions?[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]43 why do people stand in line to use a piece of exercise equipment when there are sea-air decks to walk on[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]44 how do people who have such great attitudes while on board become such demons in the customs line?[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]45 why pretend you dont want two desserts? you aren't fooling anyone.[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]46 why do people who shop hard all year for a cruise price put $$$$ in a slot machine with cob webs in the pay-out tray?[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]47 who says you can't book a half dozen opens?[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]48 why would you want to share the chocolates on the pillow, first in the cabin gets them both![/color][/b]

[sue d. miller]

I would fight you for the chocolate!! :mad: :p