DDs and I cruising with my sister and her DD?s

Hi there!

Im super excited about this cruise. first it was me taking my DD18 and DD22 for their first cruise as a HS and college graduation gift. Now my sister and her DD18 are coming too for her HS graduation gift. I love that they are coming too, so dont get me wrong.

Im just wondering for those of you who have done this kind of family trip. Do you all stick together the entire time or do you break off and do your own thing?? Like for dinner, excurstions, getting together at breakfast time whatever...

I love my sister, niece and daughters but I dont want to over do the family time. It is first my daughters and my vacation and I want them to feel special. Of course some one on one sister time would be nice too. I also like my alone time.

Is it ok for this kind of balance? I dont want to be selfish when I say I just want some alone time or whatever the case may be. Or should I just suck it up???

What do you do?? What works for you and your family?

Thanks for your help:D

Have a pre-cruise talk. Perhaps you could agree to have dinner together nightly to rehash your days...But agree that you might want to do different activities/excursions and that is fine. There may be things the girls want to do together that have little interest for you. This is everybody's vacation, and you should all do what relaxes/pleases you. Please do remind the eldest that although she is old enough to 'drink', the other two are not, and she cannot share drinks with them. EM

We took the approach to have our dinners together and we always had time where everyone could do their own thing as well.

Keith

When we cruise with family, we plan to all meet for dinner each night. The rest of the day, we each do what we want. Often we run into each other at an activity and enjoy it together.

Same here, we all expect to see each other at dinner. The rest of the time is our own, and if we want to do joint excursions, then we can. Or not.

And that's the beauty of cruising. There are so many things to do that you don't have to be in each other's hair the whole time. I'm a fitness freak, DH is a couch potato. I go to the gym while he lounges in the jacuzzi.

Dinner is a good time to get together, catch up on what everyone's been doing during the day, and make (or not) plans for the next day. Your daily cruise planner will help you do that. Take along a couple of different coloured highlighters so you can use one to highlight stuff you might want to do alone and another for stuff you might want to do as a group.

It's best to set the parameters before you leave on the cruise. Just decide what times you want to spend together and what times you're all going to do your own thing. For us, we meet up for things like trivia and most meals, but beyond that, it's everyone for themselves. No reason to be tethered to each other 24/7

good to hear. I hope my sister is on the same page with me. I hope it doesnt offend her. She can be kinda sensitive sometimes :o

We did a cruise 2 years ago, my mom, my brother and his wife and their then 9 YO daughter, me and my DH. We did what so many other's here did, touch base in the mornings, then plan to meet for dinner at a minimum very day. We ended up running into each other on the ship a lot, and did some shore excursions together. I also agree with those who say to talk ahead of time and be sure you all have the same expectations.

When we cruise with family, we plan to all meet for dinner each night. The rest of the day, we each do what we want. Often we run into each other at an activity and enjoy it together.

this is exactly what we do. Just make sure to have a talk before the cruise to make sure everyone understands and agrees with the arrangement.

Marianne

Same as the above poster for us. We've taken MANY family cruises. We have dinner together, discuss who wants to do what that evening and the next day, and whoever wants to join whoever, does. And if you don't.....then we'll see you at dinner that evening and we'll all have something to talk about.

good to hear. I hope my sister is on the same page with me. I hope it doesnt offend her. She can be kinda sensitive sometimes :o

Knowing your sister is "kinda sensitive", you may need to spend a bit more time with her than you would like ... but but but ... you won't actually be able to enjoy your cruise if she gets her feelings hurt. :o

Whatever ... still think you'll have a GREAT cruise! :)

LuLu

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Talk about this in advance.....and then, suggest dinners together, with the rest of the time "on your own"....you will probably do some things together, but neither of you are going to want to do the same thing at the same time....guaranteed. And that's fine!

I suspect you'll see very little of the girls once on the ship. They'll take off together or meet other kids individually.

I think you'll have to work out how much time to spend with your sister ahead of time. If she's needy, you may not get much alone time.

Just my 2 cents........

Before you get on the ship -- talk with your sister.

Agree that eeryone should get together for dinner.

Otherwise, everyone should do their own thing. You all need space.

If there happens to be a tour that you all want to do together -- fine.

If you run into each other on the ship -- fine.

But you all should not be together all the time.

I agree with sit down and hash out details with everyone you can before you go.

My mother won a nice sum of money and since we were living out of state at the time, she decided that money was going to an extended family cruise with my 4, her 2 and her mother. She actually even invited her sister's family (of 5) but they declined as she was paying for the rooms only.

We didn't talk about anything before hand. My mother expected everyone to do everything together. She is also the type of person who wants to get all the "free stuff" in she can. Now while my DH can be like that, I hate crowds so much I won't go grocery shopping other than at 2 AM!

It turned into a real mess because she wanted to control everything we all did. The end result was my oldest DS will no longer even go on weekend trips with her because of how controlling she can be!

Have everyone prepare for a mini-meeting. Have everyone make a list of shore excursions they found that sounds interesting to them. Then compare the lists and make plans. If your sister can be kind of sensitive, then that gives her control of what she wants to do.

I can't tell if you have been on a cruise before and just your DD's have not from your post. If you have, what I would suggest is if you have and depending on how many ports there are, pick 1 where you have been before or nothing really strikes your fancy, and even tell a little white lie that you couldn't find anything there! That way your sensitive sister can get to plan that day for you and her if there is something she wants to do that day.

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with wanting alone time. I actually tell me husband that all the time on cruises. It is a vacation after all, not a "rush to do everything-cation" like my mother plans.

hopefully your cabins aren't connecting..

hopefully your cabins aren't connecting..

Hha no that's the first thing I made sure of. Were both in inside cabins n she is kinda behind us in another hall.

Thanks everyone for ur replies. We really need to get together n talk it out before hand.....maybe I can put that off till we see her at thanksgiving. Id much rather do this face to face so I can gauge her feelings better. :)

I was having some flashbacks, reading about your dilemma, and that of others. We've gone on numerous family vacations and I have a needy/clingy sister. Prior to the cruise, we talked, looked over the ports. We knew what we wanted to do. She never expressed a preference. We decided everyone would have dinner together and at dinner, we would decide if we would be having breakfast together or if everyone would be going their separate ways. It can cause a great deal of stress, but if you discuss it before the cruise, it will at least alleviate some of the hurt feelings.

We did a cruise with both Grandma's last year. I booked the trip & asked what they wanted to do excursion-wise. My mom is very laid back & was like 'whatever' my MIL said 'you decide' then when we got together the night before the trip & my MIL was going over the itinerary meticulously & asking why we weren't doing XYZ - she had printed out all the shore excursion info. :eek: and wanted to discuss it now. So we told her what we had planed & again she was like 'ok'

After getting on-board, me, the boys & my mom just wanted to hang out in the room. Again my MIL couldn't understand why we wanted to 'sit around'. I made dh (her son) walk around with her. She was really annoyed for the first 2 days since we didn't want to go to every activity. We'd do some but not all. Finally dh talked to her about how we like to just hang out on a cruise.

Now the weird part is I really didn't think of talking to her pre-cruise because we've taken vacations together before. We've gone to Disney, camping, the shore. But none of them have had organized activities like a cruise does.

So no matter what, make sure you talk to your sister about it. Also I think your idea of talking to her in person is a good idea. If you guys have a similar interest see if you can find a daily activity to do together. For example the boys always went to trivia with my MIL which she loved. So try to find something like that. Also maybe see what she might like to plan. I like the idea of meeting together with the shore excursion ideas. There are sisters on our roll call & they are divided the ports and each planning half of them. I kind of thought that was neat too.

Since you have a while to work out what you are going to say, maybe you could pick out one special thing you'd like to do with just your sister, one nice special thing you want to do with just your daughters, and possibly a special thing you would like to do with either just your niece, or your niece and your daughters. It need not be something terribly expensive, just something you'd enjoy doing with each person. That way you can present it as you want to make sure you get to do something special for each person, with each also getting their own special time to themselves so as not to feel overtaxed by your constant presence underfoot. ;) If your sister is like my family, they always respond much better to special attention for themselves than they would ever do to a request for alone time for someone else. :rolleyes:

Since you have a while to work out what you are going to say, maybe you could pick out one special thing you'd like to do with just your sister, one nice special thing you want to do with just your daughters, and possibly a special thing you would like to do with either just your niece, or your niece and your daughters. It need not be something terribly expensive, just something you'd enjoy doing with each person. That way you can present it as you want to make sure you get to do something special for each person, with each also getting their own special time to themselves so as not to feel overtaxed by your constant presence underfoot. ;) If your sister is like my family, they always respond much better to special attention for themselves than they would ever do to a request for alone time for someone else. :rolleyes:

I like this alot!! Thankyoiu. I want everyone to feel special and have a great time.

I know my sister loves when we have our sister time. Maybe the dance club for her, we never get to old to hang out and dance. DD22 isnt much for clubing. My neice and I share a love for art so maybe I can find something pertaining to that. :) My girls and I always have fun no matter what we do and they are alot like me., love to have fun but love their solitude too:D

I like this alot!! Thankyoiu. I want everyone to feel special and have a great time.

 

I know my sister loves when we have our sister time. Maybe the dance club for her, we never get to old to hang out and dance. DD22 isnt much for clubing. My neice and I share a love for art so maybe I can find something pertaining to that. :) My girls and I always have fun no matter what we do and they are alot like me., love to have fun but love their solitude too:D

a very wise man (my boss at my first job out of the army) told me that vacation is vacation and visiting relatives is visiting relatives not a vacation.

a very wise man (my boss at my first job out of the army) told me that vacation is vacation and visiting relatives is visiting relatives not a vacation.

Indeed.

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