Crusing with an alcoholic

I have a cruise booked with someone who has realized they are an alcoholic and should stop drinking. Does anyone have suggestions that may help them stay sober? I was wondering if they can request their card to be turned off for alcohol purchases or anything like that? Thank you in advance!

There should be daily "Friends of Bill W" meetings listed on the daily planner.

There are daily AA meetings.....look for Friends of Bill in the Daily or on the Community Bulletin Board.

On one of our cruises a few years ago, one of the members of our roll call was an alcoholic and he was really interesting to talk to. He said that AA had helped him out and that the main therapy was 'talking'. At one point on the cruise, he more or less dropped everything to 'help out' another passenger, because he said thats what you did...help each other. Don't forget, nearly all cruises have a 'Friends of Bill W' meeting most days. I don't know if you can switch off a card, but I think in the long term it will be a test of will power as much as anything else. Half the battle is recognising you have a problem, which it sounds like your companion has. Wishing you both all the best.

Simon

You should attend the meetings with your friend. Also, keep busy... Excursions, activities, exercise...

Funny you mention it (OK maybe not funny but coincidental)

The first Celebrity cruise I ever did, I was about two months sober, so I wasn't sure whether to go or not. I spoke to my sponsor, and he thought I should go (everyone is different of course).

Literally the friends of Bill meeting every night onboard were my saviors(usually 5 or 6 pm, check the daily)

The first night onboard only two others Friends of Bill showed up, I talked to them about my newbie situation, and they were gracious enough to give me their stateroom #'s and encouraged me to call them 24/7 if I needed support.

As the cruise went on we had a group of about 10 people, who helped me (and as they reminded me, I helped them), they'd see me on deck and check in, and say hi. Every time I saw one it made me a little stronger than I was a moment before.

Definitely ask housekeeping to clean out the refrigerator (I always bring a carry on of Pepsi to stock my own), and they'll usually have it done by the time you return from dinner the first night.

I'd also encourage him/her to attend meetings online if he has access to his cell phone/text. Also as others have mentioned, stay busy. The gym was another place to just a great place to go whenever I thought about drinking, and also good to tire me out.

I have a cruise booked with someone who has realized they are an alcoholic and should stop drinking. Does anyone have suggestions that may help them stay sober? I was wondering if they can request their card to be turned off for alcohol purchases or anything like that? Thank you in advance!

You better hang out with that someone if they have little or no self control. There are plenty of places on the ship for temptation.

Just are there are plnty of placs in real life for temptation

Just are there are plnty of placs in real life for temptation

The OPs concern currently is while on the ship.

Have they stopped drinking yet? You statements says they realize they are and should stop.

While obviously many places in life the temptation is going to be there...it is certainly more so on vacations at place like an AI or cruise...its pretty much everywhere and hard to avoid being around it. Not the best place I wouldn't think for someone just trying to stop or make a change.

Tell your friend that drinking is not a team sport only they can stop (40 years sober).

I was on a cruise a couple of years ago and there was a gentleman on board that was noticeably “enjoying a little too much”. The last night at the martini bar he was refused service. He asked the bartender if there was something wrong with his account and the answer he was given was that his wife had requested that he no longer be served. Not sure of all of the circumstances, but you might check with guest services.

I agree with attending the daily Friends of Bill W. meetings, as well as staying active. Cruising is akin to summer camp for adults. There is always something to do at any time of the day or evening. Longer cruises have passengers less likely to "booze cruise" and more likely to enjoy things other than drinking.

Celebrity has so many wonderful culinary choices, so many fun classes and games and shows. They also have a card/game room that is fun to hang out in and play with other passengers.

Lots of people don't drink alcohol on cruises. Your companion will not be alone.

Have they stopped drinking yet? You statements says they realize they are and should stop.

 

While obviously many places in life the temptation is going to be there...it is certainly more so on vacations at place like an AI or cruise...its pretty much everywhere and hard to avoid being around it. Not the best place I wouldn't think for someone just trying to stop or make a change.

Caught that also, seems if they don't admit it and haven't stopped drinking, you may be going on a cruise that has the potential for some problems for you.

From seeing people close to me go through this process, I can tell you that, when someone is “newly sober”, it’s a vulnerable time in their lives. Some people will have a couple of false starts in their new sober life, and relapses are common until finally something kicks in and they decide to remain sober for good.

Initially, they may need to distance him/herself from any place where alcohol is available because the temptation may be too big. Others, specially after an extended period of time, can enjoy frequenting places where alcohol is available without feeling the temptation.

Whether your cruise mate will remain sober during the cruise is something that will be completely up to them. The tools are there for them to do so (like others said, friends of Bill W is the most common one). The will has to be there. But if they want to drink, it doesn’t matter if you empty the fridge or deactivate their card. They’ll find a way to get a drink (it’s as easy as walking into a bar onboard and asking someone to buy, share or pay them for a drink, or to partake in a free alcohol sampling, or buying it ashore).

What you need to ask yourself is if you’re OK with them drinking during the cruise and if not, what is your plan of action if they do drink. You can control your actions but not those of others, specially the ones of an alcoholic who may recognize that there’s a problem, but isn’t quite ready to stop.

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Have they stopped drinking yet? You statements says they realize they are and should stop

They said they are done drinking about a month ago and haven't had any as far as I know. They didn't drink daily, but when they did drink it always ended up being keep drinking until you're drunk and pass out kind of like lots of college kids do, and when that is still your activity most every weekend "to get drunk" years after college it's not good.

Thank you for all the replies and recommendations! To those questions about what I will do if they drink etc, I know I can't control anyone else and I certainly wouldn't ask for their card to be shut off on their behalf. If they do drink it will just be like many times before where the night ends with them drunk and stumbly - they have never been violent and generally are not horribly sloppy. And I would have a little guilt that we still came on the cruise, but I'd get over it - they make their own life choices. Was just wondering what tools might be available so I can inform them and do what I can to help, since this cruise was my idea. I did tell them if they don't feel comfortable going I understand. I am glad we booked on Celebrity and not Carnival - hopefully less overconsumption going on!

Good luck, I worked in this for 5 years and perhaps the most important things I leant in that time were every sober day was a success, someone had to stop drinking for themselves and not for anyone else and much to the disgust of many probation officers we would not meet people from prison and escort them to our 'dry' shelter because temptation was literally anywhere and everywhere the person wanted it to be and they had to show they could deal with it by travelling on their own to our 'dry' shelter.

Enjoy your cruise and don't feel guilty about going each person makes their own decisions and each person must be responsible for their own decisions. I am sure you will encourage and support the op to the best of your ability.

Focus the day around the gym, pool and non drinking events and excursions...away from the bars. And they do have abundant club soda and lime..my fav drink

Overeating and overdrinking are common pitfalls for cruisers

Good luck

They said they are done drinking about a month ago and haven't had any as far as I know. They didn't drink daily, but when they did drink it always ended up being keep drinking until you're drunk and pass out kind of like lots of college kids do, and when that is still your activity most every weekend "to get drunk" years after college it's not good.

They may not be in a program and may not be familiar with "Friends of Bill W" (Alcoholics Anonymous). They are welcome to join their meeting even if they aren't members. They will be welcomed. And they only have to give their first names if they want to ... that whole "Anonymous" thing. Just tell them the "Friends of Bill W" have meetings they can sneak off to if they want.

Firstly, I want to clarify that I do not do any alcohol, as a preference as well as for health reason. I am just thinking aloud, in addition to all the advice given here, maybe it will also take a bit of sacrifice for OP to not drink on this cruise. I can imagine that if I am an alcoholic and being with a friend who drinks in front of me would make it harder for me to not want a drink.

Encourage the op to have distractions from bars, but in the end they need to make that choice and I am not sure about not drinking. Would the op feel guilt at possibly 'spoiling' the cruise for you? After all if they want to drink then they can easily do it.

See how the op reacts to you saying you will join them for this holiday. If they think you being TT will help then do it. Remember none of them are your decisions to drink or not it is theirs and they cannot not drink for anyone but themselves. You can only encourage and support and be willing to pick up the bits on the times it might go wrong. Remember every sober day is a success and tomorrow is always a new day and an opportunity for a new start if things do go wrong today.

Perhaps one bit of encouragement would be to try and find someone who is going to the meeting and take the op along, especially if they have not been to meetings before. The first can be more than daunting. Other suffers are the best experts to help.

Oh dear! So much well meant advice.

In Al-Anon, the program for friends and families of alcoholics, started by Bill W's wife, Lois, we learn the 3 "C"'s-

1. We/you didn't CAUSE the drinking

2. We/you, CAN'T CONTROL the drinking

3. We/you can't CURE the drinking

All those things are up to the alcoholic. The advise of steering clear of bars and planning other activities, is meant well, but if the alcoholic wants/needs to drink, he or she will, not matter what you try to do.

Life with an alcoholic is never easy, especially in the active drinking years. Look up Al-anon and get help for yourself , in learning what the best course of action is. It saved my life.

I hope you have a wonderful cruise and enjoy yourself, no matter what you decide.

Helaine

Oh dear! So much well meant advice.

It's unclear to me and evidently the OP if the person is in the program. He or she has just declared they are stopping drinking.

But in concert with your advice, do you think it would be good to point out there are support meetings by AA on board? He or she may not know who Bill W. is, or why he has so many friends. He or she could end up in a Friends of Dorothy meeting and be very confused.

It sounds to me like your cruise wil be impacted by preoccupation and worry. That ordinarily makes you a Victim. Without knowing (or wanting to know or pry into the relationship)... in very general terms I'd cancel the cruise as a cruise is not really supposed to be a support mechanism for an intervention to sobriety. You'd really want it to be a collectively fun and mutually enjoyable experience.

Settle the critical issues if you are a partner and take a trip that makes sense for YOU TOO when the time is right. If you choose to, not because you are in a predicament that forces you to go with the flow from someone dictating with an upper hand predominant issues; and making the best of it and hope for a positive outcome in a questionable environment with Drama and no support group for YOU to cope while on board.

Sorting this stuff out is hard.

All the Best in finding Peace and Solutions.

I have a cruise booked with someone who has realized they are an alcoholic and should stop drinking. Does anyone have suggestions that may help them stay sober? I was wondering if they can request their card to be turned off for alcohol purchases or anything like that? Thank you in advance!

Good luck to you.