Rudeness and bad manners - in the eye of the beholder?

[Irish Eyes Are Sailing]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

[cbr663]

One of my biggest rude irritant is people just not using their inside voice. I am thinking of one woman in particular who insisted on screaming out to her spouse while on the Lido deck. I witnessed another couple walking in a single line, about 15 feet apart, through those tiny corridors and having a very loud conversation. It took me a few seconds to determine to whom the lady in the rear was speaking.

 

Allowing cabin doors to slam is also very rude, as is constantly running back and forth between cabins when groups have more than one cabin in a row booked. Inevitably, the cruise happens in the hallways which is very disruptive to every one else.

[Mary Ellen]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

This is what really bothered my BIL on the cruise I mentioned earlier in the thread. Those passengers probably treated the crew the same way they interact with others at home, they were doing what was socially acceptable to them. But that 'attitude' comes across too strong to others from outside their region.

[drgrinch]

My favorite is people from countries that do not respect a line jumping in front of you and then ignoring you when you ask them to move to the back. They realize what they are doing - they just don't care. It adds gasoline to the flames when the person everyone is waiting to see ignores the cutting and serves them anyway. Keel hauling is too good IMHO.

[CruisermanVA]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

 

I totally agree. Completely unacceptable.

 

Here are a few more of my peeves (which may have already been mentioned):

Loud talking in public areas like lounges, libraries and restaurants. I've found that the loud talkers are usually incessant talkers - they never let up for a minute. Also they usually talk about themselves in a bragadocious

way.

Excessive noise in your stateroom at late hours. 1 am is not a good time to be laughing uproariously or blasting your TV. Your neighbors would like to get some sleep!

Public inebriation. If you're staggering drunk, please retire to your stateroom.

Unsupervised kids. Not good for your fellow passengers or the kids themselves.

[DrTee]

I'm one of those people. If you see me walking around most days you'd say there's nothing wrong with me (my wife would be quick to set you straight that I've never been quite right :D). I have a knee that can go out at any time and it is far less painful to fall on a flat floor than on a staircase. Therefore I use the elevators and if I did use the stairs an able bodied person could go up three decks before I got up one. No I don't use a cane which I should because in my warped mind I would be giving in to it.

 

Same here. I keep putting off knee replacement, and on the ship I don't always use my cane. I can actually go up stairs easier than going down. My knee just won't cooperate.

[Linda&Vern]

I also agree with other posters who said that they disliked folks being rude to crew members. I have witnessed this more than once and I find it very unnecessary. There is no reason I can think of to treat crew members rudely, or order them around and treat them like dirt. I would never treat anyone this way, whether they were crew or not. It is nice to be polite, and a smile and a kind word gets you far when dealing with the crew.

 

My thoughts exactly. Thank you for posting. When I see this happen I just want to run away from the situation. I'm too shy :eek: to confront the offender - who probably wouldn't change anyway. But I feel so bad when I see/hear HAL crew have to take the verbal abuse they are sometimes given.

Edited October 3, 2014 by Linda&Vern

[jaguarstyper]

I agree with the loud talking and generally noisy people, especially at a restaurant. When I go to dinner, I like a peaceful setting, not a boisterous one. I prefer small, quiet restaurants over larger ones. Its one of the reasons I really prefer to eat in the Pinnacle Grill instead of the Main Dining Room. The dining room gives me a headache with the noise and bright lights.

 

Good friends of ours are of a certain ethnic background and a few times we have been to their house for dinner and its always an ear-splitting occasion. Their entire family shouts every word while around the dinner table. And it gets louder and louder as the evening goes on and more wine bottles become empty. I mentioned it jokingly one time and the response I got was "Hey, we're *****s, that's they way we are". LOL :D

Edited October 3, 2014 by jaguarstyper

[Irish Eyes Are Sailing]

I agree with so many issues posted here in these many comments. If only some folks could see themselves as the general public sees them..............!

[sneffles]

Rude obviously can include fellow passengers, and not just crew. On one cruise, an English woman was berating the woman at the Customer Service desk about something, and in a loud voice declared "Well, I am NOT just a common American!" We just laughed. And sure, we also have seen loud crude Americans too (most were drunk).

[1of4]

All I can say is ditto. I wish only to add a constant bad attitude and wishing to tell one and all that this cruise is the worst vacation ever.

[Vict0riann]

Brig. Summary hearing. Gang plank. :) Perhaps some lashes for good measure.

 

Also, keel haul! :)

[babyher]

I agree with the loud talking and generally noisy people, especially at a restaurant. When I go to dinner, I like a peaceful setting, not a boisterous one. I prefer small, quiet restaurants over larger ones. Its one of the reasons I really prefer to eat in the Pinnacle Grill instead of the Main Dining Room. The dining room gives me a headache with the noise and bright lights.

 

Good friends of ours are of a certain ethnic background and a few times we have been to their house for dinner and its always an ear-splitting occasion. Their entire family shouts every word while around the dinner table. And it gets louder and louder as the evening goes on and more wine bottles become empty. I mentioned it jokingly one time and the response I got was "Hey, we're *****s, that's they way we are". LOL :D

 

 

 

 

There are a few ethnic backgrounds you could be talking about . My family would be one of them. :) We do get a tad high spirited *LOL*

 

I remember when I was first dating my wife and my whole family was all together at my Mom's house .

 

My then girlfriend called her mom to tell her she was staying for dinner. Her mom on the other end wondered if she was ok hearing all the "shouting and arguing" in the background. "Yea I am fine" she said "They are just getting dinner ready" *LOL*

[USNUZULOOSE]

You know , I don't have to many things that bother me. But I find it rude to not remove your hat when sitting down to eat. I would not say it to the person. Can't change what people wear to dine in. Only the staff can change it to enforce the rules.

 

I can understand people getting upset for saving seats. Personally I am a person who likes to sit in the back. I don't need the best seat in the house. I can bring a small pair of binoculars to see.:roll eyes:.

 

If I see there are people who are in wheelchairs waiting for the elevators I let them go first and I will wait for the next one. I wish all the ships had ramps to walk up and down besides the stairs. It could help folks with wheelchairs who can't get on the elevators. Or even people who have a hard time with the stairs. I know I would.

[65 Gator]

My most angry moment on a HAL ship was (without getting into a smoking issue) an IDIOT in the Lido chatting away with his "partner" on a walkie talkie.

 

Second place was an older gentleman who complained bitterly to a Lido staff person that she was cutting the meat wrong. He berated her loudly and turned to tell all of us that he had been a butcher for a 100 years or so. I even found the supervisor and told him that she had been verbally abused for no reason.

 

Hats and t-shirts in the MDR are just plain rude but the lady in the Lido wearing a bathrobe and barefooted during breakfast was disgusting.

[bert425]

It's rude to talk about other people :)

 

 

 

as RuPaul says: "what you think of me is none of my business"

 

 

Control what YOU can control, and just enjoy yourself on the cruise.

[FredT]

My pet peeve is saving seats (or poolside lounges) for HOURS with no one there.

 

On a recent Antarctica cruise, the Crows Nest was packed. We sat at the bar for 45 minutes, then finally wandered up front to a couple chairs with coats over them. (They had been like that since we arrived) The people nearby told us we could not have them as they were being "saved". Nope. it was another half HOUR until the couple showed up, and they were livid we moved their jackets. (We JUST were having lunch, those are OUR seats!)

 

I know that this is acceptable behavior to many (gotta be, as so many people do it) but I see it as REALLY rude!

 

(And now time to climb off my soapbox) :D

[aliaschief]

My pet peeve is saving seats (or poolside lounges) for HOURS with no one there.

 

On a recent Antarctica cruise, the Crows Nest was packed. We sat at the bar for 45 minutes, then finally wandered up front to a couple chairs with coats over them. (They had been like that since we arrived) The people nearby told us we could not have them as they were being "saved". Nope. it was another half HOUR until the couple showed up, and they were livid we moved their jackets. (We JUST were having lunch, those are OUR seats!)

 

I know that this is acceptable behavior to many (gotta be, as so many people do it) but I see it as REALLY rude!

 

(And now time to climb off my soapbox) :D

 

You orated well from your soapbox. You get a standing ovation for this one.:)

[nana51]

I hate seat saving too. Especially at places like Disneyland where one person is in front of you in a long line. Then as you are almost there 6 or 7 people show up and cut in front of you to "be with their friend/family" I do say something.

 

What I don't understand is so many people's aversion to someone wearing their robe to the pool or the spa. You are covered and yes, it is a pain to have to get dressed after swimming. I hate putting clothes on when my body is still damp. They stick and feel icky. I prefer to change when I get back to the room. I'm not eating in my robe, just walking to the pool.

[whogo]

I think we have lost the point of this thread, which is differences in cultural behavioral norms (Consider the differences in driver behavior in Italy, Germany, and GB) that might affect cruise "manners". For instance, in some countries people queue up in an orderly for nearly everything, whether necessary or not, without instructions to do so, but other nationalities consider this absurd.

Yes, different nationalities have different ideas about queuing, smoking, beach attire, elevator etiquette, vocal volume, and personal grooming.

[cbr663]

My pet peeve is saving seats (or poolside lounges) for HOURS with no one there.

 

On a recent Antarctica cruise, the Crows Nest was packed. We sat at the bar for 45 minutes, then finally wandered up front to a couple chairs with coats over them. (They had been like that since we arrived) The people nearby told us we could not have them as they were being "saved". Nope. it was another half HOUR until the couple showed up, and they were livid we moved their jackets. (We JUST were having lunch, those are OUR seats!)

 

I know that this is acceptable behavior to many (gotta be, as so many people do it) but I see it as REALLY rude!

 

(And now time to climb off my soapbox) :D

 

It's very rude. We book cabins and the seats that are in the cabins only. We do not book seats in any of the public areas of the ship.

 

I also find it very rude asking people to move seats in the theatre. We always make it a point to get to the theatre early to get the seats that we want. Most people seem to be able to do that as the theatre fills up quickly. But, sometimes of course, there will be the odd empty seat here and there. Invariably, a couple will show up late and ask everyone else to move so that they can sit together. I find it so rude that I no longer move. You should see their faces when I say no, I will not shift over one seat.

[Hflors]

My pet peeve. Changing your baby's diaper on the tables in the buffet! That is just disgusting. When I saw it I was so upset I went and found one of the workers and told him. don't know what happened. I didn't feel like eating after witnessing that and left.

 

Don't assume people who move quickly when the doors open are always trying to rush in. One time as soon as the doors started to open I could see a wheelchair in front. I immediately moved toward the side of the door to put my arm along the door so it didn't close. That way the person pushing got the chair out and over the frame of the door without the door crashing into the side of the chair, which I have seen before. A man standing in front with us and also waiting to get on the elevator started giving me the worse look until he realized that I wasn't trying to rush the door but just hold it so it didn't close on the chair. He then gave me a half smile and kind of a sheeplish look . I always try to do this as its frightening when the door closes unexpectently.

[albingirl]

Most of all that we've seen, that is very disturbing, is the berating of staff. It's demeaning and just terrible. I've left the MDR during dinner because of this behavior. No, seriously, you don't have to yell at the waiter since you think he doesn't understand you. Really?

[kittercat85]

I was most annoyed by how rude people were during the muster drill on our last cruise. They WOULD NOT STOP TALKING. The captain even came on and was asking everyone to be quiet and listen to the crew. This older woman in front of us was saying how she'd been on a million cruises and kept blabbing away to the person next to us. Then a few feet away, a man was standing there during the drill playing on his tablet the whole time. I mean, come on, you can't be quiet and pay attention for a few minutes? God forbid we had an actual emergency or something...

 

My husband was particularly annoyed. It was his first time cruising and he was really trying to listen, but could hardly hear because of that lady I mentioned.

[Germancruiser]

I may get slapped for that comment- but IMO ,if cruise lines lower the prices and lower them even more, they ( and we) should not expect that ALL people who can NOW afford a cruises are brought up with- MANNERS!

I witnessed over and over again, on debarkation day- people sitting on the floor in the landings, stairways and so on. They avoid the lounges because they can´t wait to debark! That sitting on floors on landings, etc. may be suitable for a picnic or a camp ground holiday! ( nothing to say against that kind of vacation- we did that for years and years when were children)