allowing independence for kids on cruises

[gek]

So now you are comparing a small town, where most people know each other and have spent a good part of their lives, with a cruise ship full of complete strangers from all walks of life and all over the world?

 

Sure.

 

That makes complete sense.

 

:confused:

 

SERIOUSLY?????

 

As I already pointed out most people in this town did not know each other. Lots of itinerant and seasonal workers and Friday nights the place was full of drunks. I'm sure it is no safer now than than it was then but I guarantee there were a lot more dubious characters than you would find on the average cruise ship. Nevertheless we were allowed to roam freely. Was this a good thing? Actually, no, I don't think it was considering I spent 3 days in hospital after being hit by a car while riding my bike.

 

My point is that a cruise ship is actually a relatively safe environment. The chances of a child being abducted or molested during a 30 second walk between the pool and the buffet is pretty damn low (non-existent perhaps?). Are their any documented cases of this ever happening?

 

There is no way I would let a 7 year old roam around the ship unsupervised but this was not what the OP was asking. They were asking specifically about short trips to get ice cream which I think is a relatively harmless thing to let your child do. Personally I'd prefer to go with them but I wouldn't condemn any parent who chose not to.

[notjaded]

My point is that a cruise ship is actually a relatively safe environment. The chances of a child being abducted or molested during a 30 second walk between the pool and the buffet is pretty damn low (non-existent perhaps?). Are their any documented cases of this ever happening?

 

While I do not have statistics, here is a link from my Google search "Cruise ship pedophiles:"

 

http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2013/04/articles/sexual-assault-of-minors/sexual-perverts-pedophiles-on-royal-caribbean-cruise-ships/

 

Included in the details is a 6-year old boy molested by another passenger, as well as a teen molested by a cruise ship employee. Note another case that involved a convicted sex offender who was on board. So, I guess there are documented cases, and pedophilia on cruises is not "non-existent."

Edited November 29, 2014 by notjaded

[Iamcruzin]

As good as think your child is what happens is they tend to combine with other children who's parents let them run wild and the next thing that happens is the children are playing with elevator buttons and running through the ship. I've seen unsupervised children in the Buffet handling the food and putting it back,I think you should think of the comfort of other pax and just not the freedom of your 7 year old.

J.

I have seen adults do that with the bread as well a use the same spoon to take two different type salads.

Edited November 29, 2014 by Iamcruzin

[rhblake]

I would ask the OP one question:

 

Would you allow your 7 year old to run around a large indoor shopping mall or a 13 story hotel unattended?

[Adammara]

I was working with my 2 sons this morning, both with young families, and I asked them their opinion, it was a resounding NO WAY!

 

A long time ago we were visiting Salibury, and somehow our youngest daughter got separated from us, it was one of the worst 20 minutes of my life. She now has 2 girls of her own, and her husband says they will not be allowed out on their own until they are 25!

[New Hampshire]

While I do not have statistics, here is a link from my Google search "Cruise ship pedophiles:"

 

http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2013/04/articles/sexual-assault-of-minors/sexual-perverts-pedophiles-on-royal-caribbean-cruise-ships/

 

Included in the details is a 6-year old boy molested by another passenger, as well as a teen molested by a cruise ship employee. Note another case that involved a convicted sex offender who was on board. So, I guess there are documented cases, and pedophilia on cruises is not "non-existent."

 

Reading the article contained in your link makes me afraid to even bring a child on a cruise ship or have a child of any age out of my sight on a ship.

[Iamcruzin]

Reading the article contained in your link makes me afraid to even bring a child on a cruise ship or have a child of any age out of my sight on a ship.

Better not send them to school or religious institutions either. It also seems lately that teenage boys have been victimized of these crimes lately and if the kids aren't sexually assaulted in school they are destine to be shot.

Edited November 29, 2014 by Iamcruzin

[capecodder2]

She is too young to be out of your sight-line and, no, please don't do those awful walkie-talkies. Yikes!

[babyher]

Do you think that small towns are also totally safe. They are probably safer than big cities and were probably safer when you were young than they are now but even back then and in small towns things happened. The big difference now is that with the fast 24 hour new cycle, if a child is molested in a small town anywhere, it goes national immediately. I would wager based on absolutely no evidence that the incidence of problems now is no greater than it was then.

 

DON

 

 

I have no evidence either , but I would bet you are right. this type of thing has been going on all along. It was just kept quiet back then .

 

How many of these molestation cases today come from 30, 40 50 year olds and older and they state something happened when they were kids.

 

When I was a kid , Unsavory things were always rumored and gossiped about, but there was never hard proof or an actual news story about it.

[Host Anne]

Missy ~ I just asked my husband if he could recall what age our daughter may have gone to get something on her own on a ship. She's an only child; we began cruising when she was six; she's pretty independent; loved the kids program (she's 28 now!). We recall she was probably 10 before she ventured off to get something on her own.

 

We would have hesitated when she was 7. I know kids on cruises today are pretty well traveled and independent at any age but I don't think we would have let our daughter go by herself at 7. I'm a cautious, but not paranoid person. But I'm not sure a 7 year-old can make great decisions if a situation presented itself, regardless of what it may be.

 

For everyone else responding to this thread, please try to be a little kinder in your responses. Keep our guidelines in mind when responding to any thread.

[GUT2407]

I grew up in a town about the size of most cruise ships today, and we were allowed go off an our own all the tme.

 

There was however one big difference, mum and dad had known everyone in that town for about 20 years, on the whole passengers on a shp are total strangers.

 

If someone was seen leading me away by the hand everyone would know that it wasn't mum or dad on ship pretty much no one would know.

[cheryl20772]

We are taking our 7 year old on her 4th cruise. She is getting pretty independent now in general. Was wondering what age did you let your kids move about the ship themselves or with one other child? Just for little trips to the buffet to pick up icecream or sometging and come back to pool. Also hoping to have walkie talkies...hoping they will work.

thanks!

 

A ship isn't as exposed as a neighborhood street, but it's certainly still a public place. Do you trust your 7 year old to walk alone 1 mile to school or do you accompany/drive your child? If she can do that by herself, I don't see much difference really.

 

I remember back to when our school district did away with the school bus for our oldest girl when she was in kindergarten. There was no way I would let her walk a mile alone. They reinstated the bus when she was in first grade and I was glad not to have to walk with her twice a day.

 

Our kids wouldn't have been allowed to go away from us at that age.

Edited November 30, 2014 by cheryl20772

[DYKWIA]

I doubt a 7 year old would be able to reach the ice cream and drinks machines to operate them so they will need an adults help when they get there. There are also areas of the ship that are off limits for children, such as the solarium and it's pool.

[DYKWIA]

Another thing that occurred to me, if it is something you want to try it might be less risky nearer the end of the cruise than at the beginning when your child will, presumably, have got their bearings. It took my wife and I a couple of days to find our way around the ship. It was our first cruise and the complexity of arranging to meet up on a large ship with several bars, lounges and floors spread out over a long distance should not be underestimated.

 

Our experience on Eclipse was that it was a modern ship designed to minimise any health and safety risk however it's impossible to account for every eventuality.

[vickykay]

Host Anne,

 

Well said. I often find on these boards that someone asks a question and then seems to get caught in a cross fire of judgmental responses ( even between responders themselves) when just answer/ opinion will do.

[RCKM43]

A ship isn't as exposed as a neighborhood street, but it's certainly still a public place. Do you trust your 7 year old to walk alone 1 mile to school or do you accompany/drive your child? If she can do that by herself, I don't see much difference really.

 

 

 

I remember back to when our school district did away with the school bus for our oldest girl when she was in kindergarten. There was no way I would let her walk a mile alone. They reinstated the bus when she was in first grade and I was glad not to have to walk with her twice a day.

 

 

 

Our kids wouldn't have been allowed to go away from us at that age.

 

 

Where we live they do not release K or 1st grade walkers without an adult (parent or nanny) there to receive them. Additionally, 2nd graders (age 7) and not sure about 3rd graders are not allowed off at the bus stop without an adult. They bring the child back to the school if there is no one waiting for them. This is not a city area, but from speaking with others in surrounding districts, they have the same rules. Additionally, parents or caregivers of kids up through 5th grade are always at the bus stop to pick up their children. The bus stop is at the corner of the block so we are talking about a child only walking say 3-6 houses from the stop. Things have changed a lot from say 30+ years ago.

 

This might change depending on where in the country you live, which is why you see varying responses.

 

 

Cruising Celebrity since 1993, with some other lines in the mix like NCL and Princess.

[I_r_a]

Hi Missy,

 

I'm with P on this.

 

At age 7, I was allowed out of sight as long as I stayed on the sidewalk and didn't cross any streets.

 

By 12, I was being sent on errands on my bike.

 

You know your child.

 

The helicopters hovering over you don't.

 

Introduce her to the staff.

 

Enjoy your cruise

 

Ira

[babyher]

Hi Missy,

 

I'm with P on this.

 

At age 7, I was allowed out of sight as long as I stayed on the sidewalk and didn't cross any streets.

 

By 12, I was being sent on errands on my bike.

 

You know your child.

 

The helicopters hovering over you don't.

 

Introduce her to the staff.

 

Enjoy your cruise

 

Ira

 

 

 

Boy am I gonna show my age . At 10 I was riding my bike to the store to get cigarettes for my parents. 2 packs , they gave me 2 bucks and I got to keep the change.

 

Nice little supplement to my allowance :)

[Hlitner]

DW and I talk about this topic and the way kids are handled today versus what was done when we were kids (in the 50s). When I was in first grade I walked (often by myself) 8 blocks (and had to cross all those streets) to and from school every day. On the way home I would sometimes stop in a neighborhood shop/café to buy some candy (cost a nickel). Once home from school I would go out to play with friends, some of whom lived blocks from our home. The only rule was "be home in time for dinner."

 

When DD was 5 we started taking her on cruises (she was Diamond with RCI before age 15). She was usually in the childrens program. But by age 7 we would give her some freedom to go off with other children and once even allowed her to "buy drinks" for her friends at one of the bars. If she had misbehaved there would have been consequences (grounding).

 

But today, parents are often afraid to let their children go outside without an adult, play without adult supervision, etc. If we had to watch a grandchild we would certainly follow these new "rules" although with some sadness. Perhaps a good topic would be if the world has really changed that much, or are we all becoming alarmists because of 24/7 news.

 

As to kids doing bad things on cruise ships (like pressing elevator buttons, running amok, splashing in the pool, etc,) we have seen this kind of thing happen when the parents are with their kids. Some parents refuse to control (or discipline) their children...and it shows! Personally, we think these parents should be put in "time out" rather then the kids :).

 

Hank

Edited November 30, 2014 by Hlitner

[happy 2 b cruising]

Returned yesterday from our Family Thanksgiving cruise aboard the Constellation. We travelled with a 6 year old boy, 2 eight year old girls and one 9 year old girl. All the children went to the Fun Factory and stayed in the 6-8 year old group. The family rebooked for next year and the girls will all be in the 9-11 year old group where they can check themselves in and out. This is a very difficult decision to make and our family will have to revisit the independent issue next year concerning all the safety issues. I am deeply concerned that any parent would think it would be ok for a 7 year old to be independent on a ship with 2,000 plus strangers. I worked in the Criminal Justice field and I believe we could charge a parent with Child Endangerment for this kind of behavior. Hopefully the OP will make the right decision for their 7 year old child.