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SpainAlien "Live from...." Rare

SpainAlien

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Posted (edited)

Not wishing to correct you Bpos but Port is from Portugal. Perhaps a nice Rioja or the Osborne brandy whose advertising bulls you see all over Spain which have now been listed as culturally significant.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osborne_bull

 

 

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Edited by SpainAlien
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Not wishing to correct you Bpos but Port is from Portugal. Perhaps a nice Rioja or the Osborne brandy whose advertising bulls you see all over Spain which have now been listed as culturally significant.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osborne_bull

 

 

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Well any old port in a storm wiil do

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Overseas visitors will find Australia to be a very modern and sophisticated county and our hospitality industry takes great pride in providing world class accommodation for your stay before/after your cruise.

 

We also like to be "green" and care for the environment (but we do not recycle toilet paper - this is certainly an exception).

 

Property owners and residents all ensure the surrounds and gardens are well maintained, particularly lawns for your enjoyment etc.

 

Most of us use a ride on mower, invented by an Aussie, that has patents worldwide and not made in China (no cheap copies here).

 

Because they are so unique they have become a tourist attraction.

 

I attach a photo of this unique machine (can be recycled) which requires no further explanation.

 

Look out for one on your travels - take a photo for the folks at home

 

How fantastic is that!

image.jpg.1d90e0578b0cfc9a34854bf073f57c3b.jpg

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Not wishing to correct you Bpos but Port is from Portugal. Perhaps a nice Rioja or the Osborne brandy whose advertising bulls you see all over Spain which have now been listed as culturally significant.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osborne_bull

 

 

That grape juice you have described sounds really great, can you please send me a bottle (well a dozen would be more appreciated) if your budget can go that far.

 

Thanks I look out for the mailman.

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SpainAlien "Live from...." Rare

SpainAlien

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I don't think your friendly customs officials would appreciate me doing that and I would hate to fall foul of them like Johnny Depp did. Perhaps if it went into quarantine for a few months?

 

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I don't think your friendly customs officials would appreciate me doing that and I would hate to fall foul of them like Johnny Depp did. Perhaps if it went into quarantine for a few months?

 

Goodness, I had no idea Spanish wine was alive and barks like a dog when the cork is pulled.

 

Do not send that stuff here. I do not want to be involved in a major diplomatic incident that could harm Australian/Spanish relations.

 

And I do not want the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, the Honourable Mr Barnaby Joyce calling me out in the Aussie media.

 

For the benefit of our valued Overseas visitors, to get a better understanding of this very important matter - Google. "Depp/Barnaby Joyce"

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Okay, ya'll gotta stop. My sides hurt from laughing. So basically I need to wear a rain coat for the koala(not a bear) make sure to eat vegamite and wear bundy so I smell Aussie to deter drop bear, watch out for crocs, crocodile-pigs, wombats, and spiders under toilet seats....got it![emoji23][emoji3]

So here is my advice when in US since ya'll are being so helpful. Watch out for jackalopes, and chupacabre they are extremely dangerous if you aren't prepared with a shotgun. Also make sure you take the time to go snipe hunting one of Americans favorite pastimes right up there with giggin frogs.

Your Welcome [emoji57]

 

 

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Thank you for your contribution - I see you are coming our way for a cruise on the Ovation on the Seas, well done.

 

I would like to ask you to urge all your family, friends and strangers to come on a cruise down under - they will just love Australia.

 

Besides, they will spend lots of money, to support our economy, which our Government needs to continue to pay a decent pension to pensioners, of which I am one.

 

Do you know my son? He lives in Philadelphia. I lost his phone number so have not spoken for several years but I will send it to you if it turns up

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Sparky74 "Live from...." Rare

Sparky74

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by Richard Glover

Sydney Morning Herald 26th January 2008

 

You know you're Australian if …

 

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

 

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

 

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

 

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

 

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

 

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

 

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

 

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

 

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

 

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

 

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

 

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

 

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

 

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

 

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

 

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

 

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

 

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

 

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

 

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

 

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

 

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

 

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

 

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

 

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

 

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

 

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

 

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

 

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

 

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

 

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

 

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

 

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

 

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

 

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

 

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

 

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

 

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

 

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

 

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

 

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

 

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

 

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

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OzKiwiJJ Great Review Rare

OzKiwiJJ

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Posted (edited)

 

Do not send that stuff here. I do not want to be involved in a major diplomatic incident that could harm Australian/Spanish relations.

 

 

It's OK, Bpos, you can buy rioja in Aldi. $4.99 a bottle, or $6.99 for the Reserva. Look for the bull on the label.

Edited by OzKiwiJJ
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GUT2407

GUT2407

Posted
Posted
by Richard Glover

Sydney Morning Herald 26th January 2008

 

You know you're Australian if …

 

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

 

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

 

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

 

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

 

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

 

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

 

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

 

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

 

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

 

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

 

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

 

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

 

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

 

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

 

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

 

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

 

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

 

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

 

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

 

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

 

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

 

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

 

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

 

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

 

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

 

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

 

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

 

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

 

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

 

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

 

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

 

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

 

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

 

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

 

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

 

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

 

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

 

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

 

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

 

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

 

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

 

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

 

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

 

 

 

Simple really isn't it.

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mrs and mrs

mrs and mrs

Posted
Posted
Overseas visitors will find Australia to be a very modern and sophisticated county and our hospitality industry takes great pride in providing world class accommodation for your stay before/after your cruise.

 

We also like to be "green" and care for the environment (but we do not recycle toilet paper - this is certainly an exception).

 

Property owners and residents all ensure the surrounds and gardens are well maintained, particularly lawns for your enjoyment etc.

 

Most of us use a ride on mower, invented by an Aussie, that has patents worldwide and not made in China (no cheap copies here).

 

Because they are so unique they have become a tourist attraction.

 

I attach a photo of this unique machine (can be recycled) which requires no further explanation.

 

Look out for one on your travels - take a photo for the folks at home

 

How fantastic is that!

 

Not to be confused with the kiwi model.

Where the exhaust system is removed,the seat is optional,and can only be operated wearing gumboots.:eek::eek:

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rabbitoh_777

rabbitoh_777

Posted
Posted
by Richard Glover

Sydney Morning Herald 26th January 2008

.

You know you're Australian if …

.

 

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

 

However if you are related to a Sheila named gert who is girt by polyester floral print you truly have convict bloodlines.

 

 

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

 

However if you drink & wear stubbies and not long necks & king Gees you will always return home before your blundstone booted adversary.

 

 

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

 

However the alternative was to have a redheaded clown not called Ronald.

 

 

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

 

However the current valid 54th one will always remain home atop the ridgey didge when you need it.

 

 

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

 

 

However if you indeed need to water your garden it is done hydroponically indoors under growth lites with pinched power.

 

 

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

 

 

However this early prevention is far better than the alternative though referring to his pencil if named "Richard" will scar him for life.

 

 

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

 

However this is only true for those with a Bachelor of Arts degree with first class honours and no interest in sport of any kind.

 

 

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

 

However if you hear they are only wearing black thongs it means you are on a topless beach or they are walking on white hot sands at a nude beach in the middle of summer.

 

 

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

 

However this is still preferable to Juan Antonio Samaranch declaring to the World that you live in "Siddey." What the hell would he have made of kitty Chiller?

 

 

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

 

However if the term "chocolate soldiers" means nought to you, born & bred you are not.

 

 

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

 

However in Strine "Orstraya"! will always prevail.

 

 

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

 

However if you're as "dry as a dead dingoes donger" you will be throwing them both out the back of the you beaut to get to the rubber dub (Rub-a-dub-dub) - Pub (or club) to get on the Cat's hiss.

 

 

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

 

However you are absolutely outraged when a huge sign stating Free horse Shyte is passed when you have just paid for fertiliser.

 

 

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

 

However every single true Australian knows the only really hated bastard is the one that doesn't return the shout!

 

 

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

 

However most would say "Wearthefoxhat" yet "Waikikamukau" is totally unacceptable from across the dutch and needs translating to Whykickamoocow and saddled to a thoroughbred.

Did I hear someone say "Hoof Hearted"?

 

 

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

 

However You might get the Ducks and drakes if the After Darks get you before the Joe Blakes, just make sure the first bite or strike isn't in the Jatz crackers.

 

 

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

 

However yanks are daft for having a dime ten cents smaller than a nickel five cents.

 

 

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

 

However if you hear the term "Woy not?" you understand immediately we will question anything.

 

 

19. You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread.

 

However this must be coupled with lashings of butter on toast to be bearable and not bearing packing.

 

 

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

 

However if they never stuff up they never will become true Aussies.

 

 

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

 

However if egg bacon cheese pineapple and grilled onions aren't in unison with it, she aint a true works...

 

 

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song "Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again".

 

However now that Doc Neeson has passed we all pray that these words aren't necessarily so. NWGFFO!

 

 

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

 

However if your Violet crumbles and your pollywaffles, dead flowers and mumbling parrots are not on the agenda.

 

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

 

However "U" know that it does not matter which party wins "you" the voter always lose.

 

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

 

However if they are UGG you will never ever put your plates of meat inside that yank owned trademark brand ever again.

 

 

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

 

However have the septics ever thanked us for the dual flush toilet ever?

 

 

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

 

However this is a stretch for the likes of a Dillon, Nobby, Hellene, Virginia well you get the idea.

 

 

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

 

However if they are not numbered to expedite the process the chances are remote of any of your return business.

 

 

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

 

However to somebody who had just broken wind in public rather loudly, the phrase "A bit more choke and you would have started" is paramount.

 

 

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

 

However if this happens your cork brimmed hat has been tea leafed.

 

 

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

 

However when the words "lot piss orf" follows, a stink is inevitable.

 

 

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

 

However a full baked dinner on Christmas Day in 100 degree heat in a house with no air-con is fine.

 

 

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

 

However with 20/20 hindsight over the traditional form this is no longer the case.

 

 

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

 

However have no problem having ANZAC attached to anything relevant made in China, as long as it's cheaper to buy or sell.

 

 

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

 

However if male all you think of is gold hot pants.

 

 

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

 

However for males & if of the opposite sex and attractive all is forgiven when the term is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me is uttered before defilement.

 

 

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

 

However if the cord has been replaced entirely with elastic, smart is done away with for pure genius duds.

 

 

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

 

However coal train, road train or in the wrong lane may inflict pain to the unwary visitor's brain. Fact.

 

 

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

 

However when you know what's fun about being sober in Aussie bars is Nothing. The need to enlighten the bar-maid with "I love you so much, I could never live without you." and she says, "Is that the real you or just the beer talking?" the only real Aussie answer is "It's me talking to the beer."

 

 

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

 

However if you can recite the originals third & fourth you will be known as a big Merchant banker.

 

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

 

However you strongly agree that the ability to have or attain a boat license is never to be encouraged to any newcomer.

 

 

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

 

However what a load of cobblers and are you honestly going to wear that clobber may get you clobbered!

 

 

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

 

However failing this you will try to be a smart arse and one-up or lower the tone of the original, aussie aussie aussie, oi oi oi...

 

Cheers r

 

:cool:

.

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