Sharing tables at the Buffet - relax ... be nice ... smile!

[Cro_and_Swan]

Just offering my take on a 'first timer' issue that I haven't seen mentioned in many discussion ...

 

If you dine at the buffet and their are very few vacant tables ... be prepared to share a table ... either joining others at a partially empty table ... or having others join you. (In my opinion) it is unreasonable to expect a table all to yourself if you are not able to find an emtpy two seat-er for a couple or a 4 seat-er for a family, etc. We were 2 people ... and often found ourselves at a 6 or 8 person table.

 

I'm fairly outgoing, so it wasn't a big deal for me to smile and say "feel free to join us" when the two of us were sitting alone at a larger table and I noticed people doing the 'stand and scan' looking for an empty spot at lunch. The friend I was cruising with is more of an introvert ... he didn't mind others joining us at all ... but he probably wouldn't have spoken up either.

 

Similarly, though it took a bit more effort, if there were no empty tables, I fairly quickly learned to politely ask if empty seats at a large table were available "Excuse me, are these seats taken? Mind if we join you?" If someone seemed unpleasant or began to say they were saved ... I simply smiled and said "Oh no problem ... sorry" and walked away. Most fellow cruisers understand the situation and are pleasant about it ... but even if they aren't .... It's not personal ... don't let the 'rejection' ruin your day ... even if the other person is unpleasant, it was 'their issue' and nothing I did wrong.

 

Other tips ... you can usually tell if someone wants to socialize and talk and you can make small talk if nothing else. If they don't seem to want to ... then chat with your own party and let them chat with theirs ... no harm, no foul. We had pleasant 'chit chat' with a few different couples. Sat in silence with one older lady after exchanging greetings and then she pointedly shifted her body and stared out the window the entire time. I didn't 'push' conversation. I just said 'enjoy the rest your lunch' as we left.

 

If you are almost done and someone approaches ... welcome them to the table and TELL them you were about to leave. Maybe this is just my small town overly friendly thing ... but I didn't want anyone to think we were leaving just because they joined us. A smile and "We were almost done ... so please don't think we're leaving because you joined us." to me is better than just jumping up and walking off ... maybe not necessary ... but it could prevent someone from taking it personally.

 

And on the off chance to you end up joining a table or having someone join yours that you just absolutely cannot stand the idea of sitting through an entire meal together ... hey, it's a buffet you are free to roam :) ... simply go back for seconds or dessert or whatever and walk to another area of the dining room and sit somewhere else. Not ideal, and I know some people will scoff at the idea of changing tables in the middle of a meal ... but it is one possible solution to a problem. I'd rather do that than let it ruin my day.

 

Again, just something that came up for me and I thought might be useful to other 'newbies' to at least be aware of. Other more seasoned cruisers may have a completely different point of view.

 

If it is incredibly important to you that you NOT share a table, you can try dining early or late ... (which would give you better chance of finding a smaller table) ... avoiding the buffet all together and eat in the main dining room, cafe, specialty restaurants, or room service ... fixing your plate and carrying it to a place on the deck away from the buffet dining room, etc. There are lots of possible solutions which allow you to avoid the situation ... but my suggestions are mainly just for easing some of the 'awkwardness' of sharing the larger tables in a crowded buffet dining room for those who do want to dine at the buffet.

Edited January 12, 2017 by Cro_and_Swan

[lostchild]

I am totally fine with sitting with random people at the buffet. We do it all the time at the mall food court. I think it is more awkward when they assign you another family sitting at the same main dinner table every night of the cruise. You have to dine with them every night and after a few nights you know that you have nothing in common and then it is just making small talks and both family knows was done to avoid the awkward silence. We actually started to make reservations at the specialty restaurants just to get away from the main dining room in the later days of the cruise.

[Cro_and_Swan]

.... I think it is more awkward when they assign you another family sitting at the same main dinner table every night of the cruise. You have to dine with them every night and after a few nights you know that you have nothing in common .....

 

I can completely see that as being an issue. LUCKILY (sort of) we had a different main dining room experience on Royal Caribbean. We were seated with different groups each night ... just in a 'luck of the draw' basis of when we happened to arrive.

 

One benefit was that we had different table mates each night so we weren't 'stuck' with the same people if it was a bad match ... (for us or for them) ... but the down side was that even if we had a good match one night, we weren't necessarily going to have that same good match the next. We experienced both good and bad during our MDR evenings.

 

One evening I noticed that we were going to be seated with a large family that I didn't particularly want to sit with ... (we'd seen them at the buffet at lunch the day before and I just didn't think we'd be a good 'fit' to fill in their table) and I just gestured toward the other side of the room and asked if we could possibly be seated 'further into the center of the dining room away from the entrance' .... stupid excuse, I know ... but I hoped the stated 'personal preference' of where I wanted to sit would ease any awkwardness if the family cared why we didn't want to sit with them.

Edited January 12, 2017 by Cro_and_Swan

[lostchild]

Actually I think we would have love to sit with different families on each night. But that's not how they work on the Disney cruise. Our family of 3 was matched up with another family of 3 every night of the 7 nights cruise. I think it was because our kids are around the same age. But that's pretty much our similarity ends. They pray before their meal, and we watched them pray. Our kid talked about video games, their kid was not allowed to play video games. After a few nights, both families were trying to finish our meals as fast as possible and leave the main dinning room.

[4x4bob]

Great topic started by the OP

 

Everyone boarding a cruise ship must accept that they will be exposed to the Good (95%) and the Bad (5% entitled).

 

As the OP stated its the luck of the draw who you can share a table with.

 

Over the years we mostly have very good expereances with table mates.

 

However, from time to time the coin does turn. One example was the wife and I had just picked up our order at the Trident Grill and sat down at a table for 6 next to the pool.

 

A Gentleman walked up and without saying Boo sat down. Did not ask if we had more people coming or what.

 

I looked over and said Hello, how are you doing today?

 

He looked back at me and stated "No photo's". HuH? At that time my censor kicked me in the leg with her secret signal "don't you say anything"

 

Later after he left she asked what was I going to say? I said I was going to ask Why no photo's, do you have wanted posters on you back home?

 

Another time we skipped the MDR and went to the Buffet for dinner, something that we had not done before on a cruise. A couple asked if they could join us and we said Yes. The Buffet was not crowded, they just wanted some company for dinner.

 

Turns out that they had been on 64 cruises and were really interesting to talk to.

 

To para phrase someone else. Table mates are like a box of Chocolates, you do not not know what you will get until you open the box. :D

 

Bob

[cb at sea]

We have never had a "bad" experience with tablemates. Never. Sure, some are more outgoing than others....but a "bad" experience?

 

 

Even in the buffet (where we don't eat often!), we will offer vacant seats if it's crowded! What's the harm? 20 mins.....

 

I think the folks who repeatedly have "bad tablemates" should look to themselves, and not the others!

[kerryincork]

If it's busy I don't mind sharing a table. Either telling others to join us or asking to sit at a table.

Usually say a simple hello to table mates , and continue to chat with my own group, they can join the conversation or not as pleases them.

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

[Sauer-kraut]

For those on European cruises one might encounter this quite often as it is a fairly normal thing, as Europeans will share tables if seating is limited. This has happened to me at McDonald's in Germany as well as in other places.

 

I love that the OP brought up this topic!

Edited January 12, 2017 by Sauer-kraut

[Blondilu]

This is a really good topic for first-timers. I remember my first cruise and the first time I needed to share a table. It was a bit awkward, but I learned quickly it was either ask or eat cold food. The worst they could do was say no, right? And I also quickly learned to return the favor when I saw that others needed a place to sit.

 

Later, when I took each of my sisters on their first cruises this was one of the subjects I brought up in the category "things to know before you go".

 

It's common courtesy to share in such a busy place and a really great way to meet people from all over.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

For those on European cruises one might encounter this quite often as it is a fairly normal thing, as Europeans will share tables if seating is limited. This has happened to me at McDonald's in Germany as well as in other places.

 

 

I've had that experience, too, but only in Germany. A few different times people just sat at our table without saying a word to us. It was an odd experience, but when in Rome... ;)

Edited January 13, 2017 by Quilting_Cruiser

[Quilting_Cruiser]

A lot of people are hesitant share tables in the buffet. If it's not something you do in your "regular life" then doing it on a cruise ship doesn't come naturally. I don't have an issue at all if I'm sitting a table for four or more and someone needs a seat. But, it can be awkward since that's not really part of U.S. culture. It just depends on the people and how they deal with it. I'm pretty outgoing so it's most awkward for me if they share my table and don't say a word. :p

 

I don't think people should feel they have to share their table if that makes them uncomfortable though. My ex-husband suffers from social anxiety so I would never have asked strangers to share our table in the buffet. Keep in mind if someone declines when asked if they'll share their table, it doesn't mean they're rude or unsocial. There could be a number of reasons for it.

[HardToPort]

I am totally fine with sitting with random people at the buffet. We do it all the time at the mall food court. I think it is more awkward when they assign you another family sitting at the same main dinner table every night of the cruise. You have to dine with them every night and after a few nights you know that you have nothing in common and then it is just making small talks and both family knows was done to avoid the awkward silence. We actually started to make reservations at the specialty restaurants just to get away from the main dining room in the later days of the cruise.

 

In similar situations I've gone to the Maitre'd after dinner 1 and requested a table change. A $20 tip also helps. I've always received a change of table.

 

I'm on vacation, bailing out on unpleasant or incompatible dinner companions doesn't bother me in the least. You'll never see these people again.

 

On a recent cruise my father and I were put at a table for 6 with very lovely people from my home province. They were also in the same industry as me and worked for one of my customers. I was not going to spend a week talking shop. I asked for and got assigned to a lovely table for 2 which allowed my Dad and I some great catch up time. I don't owe anyone an explanation. I greeted them politely the next night and explained that my Dad and I wanted some one-on-one time.

 

I am excessively polite around the elevators, buffet lines, bars etc and never chair hog. But I don't suffer the company of folks with whom I'm not compatible. No one should.

[Cro_and_Swan]

But I don't suffer the company of folks with whom I'm not compatible. No one should.

 

Hi HtP ... forgive me if I'm reading the incorrect tone into your message ... so much 'non-verbal' communication is lost on the boards it's often hard to tell if someone is upset/offended or simply sharing an opinion/experience.

 

But, I honestly don't think anyone on the thread is saying anyone should 'suffer the company ...'

 

Just for clarification (on my part)

 

The original post was about the sharing tables in the buffet dinning room ... which seems to be a common practice on at least some cruise ships which is NOT a common practice for many of us in our every-day lives. (It had nothing to do with MDR nor other 'assigned' seating. And was in no way intended to say anyone 'must' do anything nor that they owed anyone an explanation.)

 

My intent was to give a 'heads up' with those who might not have read anything about sharing tables at the buffet and might be surprised by it ... and possibly to start a conversation of sharing tips for making the situation less awkward if one did feel it was awkward. Of course anyone who chooses not to share for whatever reason (or no reason at all) is free to do so ... I'm not the table police. It is simply a subject that was a surprise to me the first time it happened and I thought might also be useful to others to at least know about ahead of time and not be caught by surprise.

[Aquahound]

At the risk of sounding terrible, I must admit that I have no desire to share a table in the buffet. I'm not saying I'm anti-social. I just don't like sharing a table. In fact, if I'm the one stuck looking for a table and all are taken, I'll go somewhere outside the buffet before I ask to join anyone.

 

That said, of course I don't have a problem sharing if the buffet is jam packed and all the tables are taken, and I'm at a larger table. But that doesn't mean I would like it. In fact, I would learn from the experience and not return to the buffet at that time on other days.

[HardToPort]

Hi HtP ... forgive me if I'm reading the incorrect tone into your message ... so much 'non-verbal' communication is lost on the boards it's often hard to tell if someone is upset/offended or simply sharing an opinion/experience.

 

But, I honestly don't think anyone on the thread is saying anyone should 'suffer the company ...'

 

Just for clarification (on my part)

 

The original post was about the sharing tables in the buffet dinning room ... which seems to be a common practice on at least some cruise ships which is NOT a common practice for many of us in our every-day lives. (It had nothing to do with MDR nor other 'assigned' seating. And was in no way intended to say anyone 'must' do anything nor that they owed anyone an explanation.)

 

My intent was to give a 'heads up' with those who might not have read anything about sharing tables at the buffet and might be surprised by it ... and possibly to start a conversation of sharing tips for making the situation less awkward if one did feel it was awkward. Of course anyone who chooses not to share for whatever reason (or no reason at all) is free to do so ... I'm not the table police. It is simply a subject that was a surprise to me the first time it happened and I thought might also be useful to others to at least know about ahead of time and not be caught by surprise.

 

Hi Cro,

 

Sorry, I did go off on a tangent in response to a poster's remark they ate at specialty restaurants due to bad MDR companions. I was just saying I'd move without a second thought. I did introduce some "scope creep" to your original point.

 

And you're correct, this is a tough medium to inject emotion. I was smiling as I wrote it. And I felt badly for someone who felt they had to hide from MDR companions.

 

Cheers!

HTP

[rpfarris]

What do you mean "In the US we're not accustomed to sharing meals with strangers?" When I eat at Ruth's Chris or Mortons of Chicago, I always eat at the bar, and I am always joined by others. Around dinner time the entire bar is full of strangers eating at the bar.

We eat with strangers all the time in America.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[notentirelynormal]

We usually sit at a large table. We also travel with a large group of family and friends. At any given time someone in out group will walk up to join us so we tell people "no" that we don't care to share.

 

I also travel with our grandchildren. One of us will sit at the table while the other ones go to the buffet to get their meal. We have had people persist that no one was sitting there currently so they should be allowed to sit there. I've had to be quite rude to people to tell them there was no room.

 

On the other hand, when ever one is sitting down and eating and there is a couple we do invite them to join us BUT only after everyone is already seated.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

At the risk of sounding terrible, I must admit that I have no desire to share a table in the buffet.

 

Then you don't have to! I read the first post as if she was telling everyone this is how they should behave in the buffet, but I don't think that's what she intended. If you don't want to share, then don't. I suspect you don't sit at a table for six if you're dining alone since you don't want to share. LOL.

 

What do you mean "In the US we're not accustomed to sharing meals with strangers?" When I eat at Ruth's Chris or Mortons of Chicago, I always eat at the bar, and I am always joined by others. Around dinner time the entire bar is full of strangers eating at the bar.

We eat with strangers all the time in America.

 

Eating at the bar is a completely different situation than eating at a table. I would suggest that your last line might have begun with "If we want to..." When you sit at the bar, you have one seat and others are free to walk up and sit in the seat right next to you if they want to. The reference to not eating with strangers in the U.S. is about dining at a table. I was in Germany for three weeks a few years ago and it was not uncommon for people to walk up while my DD and I were in the middle of our meal and just sit down at our table. They didn't ask and they didn't say a word to us. They just sat down and picked up a menu. In my entire life, I've never experienced that in the U.S. I would be shocked if someone did that and ask them what they were doing.

[lenquixote66]

On our last cruise we were at a table of strangers .One man asked everyone their names ,occupations and where they live .

 

The next day we were at a table where nobody wanted to talk to anyone .

[helen haywood]

One time I was finishing my lunch at a table outside on a Celebrity ship at a table for four. It was just my husband and I. He had gone to get some ice cream. A couple approached me and asked if the other seats were free. I said yes. The woman plunked down a huge vase of flowers in the middle of the table. There went my view of the yacht basin. A gust of wind suddenly blew the flower arrangement over and water poured all over me through the slats in the table. Luckily I was wearing Crocs because otherwise my shoes and socks would have been drenched....and no luggage until later as this was our embarkation lunch.

 

I gasped and pushed my chair back and started to mop water out of my lap. The woman nonchalantly said, "Sorry. Its only water" and left to go to the buffet. Her husband was left at the table studiously avoiding my eye. I took off my shoes and poured water out of them. At that moment another couple approached and asked if my husband's chair was free. I said "Yes" and stood up. My husband appeared at that moment and said "No, its not." I said (with a look to him) "We're leaving; I'll explain later."

 

The funny thing was I never got a look at the woman's face! So I couldn't glower at her when I saw her later....

[SquishTheWhale]

Is sharing tables really not done in the US? I mean, I wouldn't expect anyone to come and sit down at our table in a proper restaurant- but I'd think nothing of sharing a table in Mcdonalds or a coffee shop, or anywhere where you have to find your own seat. Normally it's polite to ask and check if anyone is using the seats, but not always done if it's a large table with only one or two people sat at it. If you are waiting for others to join you then you often have to defend the table several times against people trying to sit down and share it!

 

However, it's worth noting that we are British, so we don't make conversation with the people that we are sharing the table with ;) Don't ever try that one if you visit the UK as people will think there's something wrong with you! The way to do it is a polite nod when they ask if the seats are free, then pretend they don't exist for the rest of the meal.

[WupperAV]

We always try to share with someone if it gets crowded. Met some nice people on the last cruise. Couples from Co, England and Australia. Fun to get to know all of them.:D

[Quilting_Cruiser]

Is sharing tables really not done in the US? I mean, I wouldn't expect anyone to come and sit down at our table in a proper restaurant- but I'd think nothing of sharing a table in Mcdonalds or a coffee shop, or anywhere where you have to find your own seat. Normally it's polite to ask and check if anyone is using the seats, but not always done if it's a large table with only one or two people sat at it. If you are waiting for others to join you then you often have to defend the table several times against people trying to sit down and share it!

 

However, it's worth noting that we are British, so we don't make conversation with the people that we are sharing the table with ;) Don't ever try that one if you visit the UK as people will think there's something wrong with you! The way to do it is a polite nod when they ask if the seats are free, then pretend they don't exist for the rest of the meal.

 

On rare occasions it might be done at a fast food restaurant or a Starbucks (if you're sitting near an outlet), but for the most part, even if it's someplace you find your own seat, we don't share. That's not to say that absolutely no one does it, but it's not the norm, for sure. In my entire life (and I'm 58) in the U.S. no one has ever asked to share my table in any kind of restaurant nor have I asked anyone to share anyone else's. However, in Europe, I'm prepared for it. :p

[capncarp]

Sharing tables in the buffet has more often than not been a good social experience. It's a more relaxed atmosphere than the MDRs, and this helps break down some of the more formal barriers between folk. I met several very interesting people during buffet meals, including one gentleman who was Jamaican working in NYC and our first port was Ocho Rios, his home town; he said he was going to walk into his Mom's house for lunch unannounced:eek:. I also found that a lot of my initial social anxiety about awkwardness in conversations really never materialized. Most folks were quite ready to engage in discussions of what looked/tasted good in the buffet, and whether one had discovered a possibly hidden corner of the culinary offerings or not. This often led to other topics and exchanges of cruise experiences.

Capncarp says, "Go for it!";)