Anyone in the same "boat" as me?

[JRG]

16 minutes ago, Mary229 said:

Which constitutional right?  Cruise Critic is private property, they can exclude what they want.  Secondly people agreeing with you is not a constitutional right.  No one trampled, they simply expressed. 

 

Thank you counselor,  objection sustained.  For the record,   CC will consider the statement "whilst excersing a constitutional right"  be superceded by :  "expressing their opinion about how they interpret their own freedom"

 

 

Edited July 20, 2023 by JRG

[JRG]

6 minutes ago, JRG said:

"expressing their opinion about how they interpret their own freedom"

 

How can this not be considered Pursuit of Happiness?   The defense rests its case.

 

The OP has a valid point.   I can go by 3 different names and I'm in the same boat and there have been times when I didn't want use the one that was on my name badge.

[Mary229]

4 minutes ago, JRG said:

 

How can this not be considered Pursuit of Happiness?   The defense rests its case.

 

The OP has a valid point.   I can go by 3 different names and I'm in the same boat and there have been times when I didn't want use the one that was on my name badge.

She can pursue all she wants, there is no right to achieve 

[mom says]

5 hours ago, JRG said:

 

How can this not be considered Pursuit of Happiness?   The defense rests its case.

 

I hope you aren't a lawyer. The right of pursuit is just that. It doesn't say anything about a guaranteed right to achieve or maintain if achieved

[Mum2Mercury]

On 7/19/2023 at 4:20 PM, XBGuy said:

I was Benvolio

Like in Romeo and Juliet?  I love that name, and in three decades of teaching I've never once encountered a Benvolio!  

16 hours ago, jsn55 said:

Some solid advice ... just train yourself not to care what anyone calls you.  This is a very simple problem with an equally-simple solution.  Nobody else cares, you're the one with the issue, so just make up your mind to not let it be an issue.  I'm not sure why some members on this board go on and on about their reaction to your story ... just ignore them.  Your feelings are yours, not anyone else's to be critical about.  If you fix the situation yourself, you can move on and continue enjoying the pleasures of travel.  

Easier said than done. 

 

I can relate to the OP's problem, though I'm a little different: 

- My first name is a bit unusual, and it exists in two equally-uncommon spellings.  But most people cannot spell it at all -- so if I have to give my name to strangers (say, for coffee or a reservation) I have learned to give my very common /very British /easy to say and spell last name.  

- Spelling /saying my first name wrong is a pet peeve of mine.  No, I don't let it ruin my day or anything, but it just rubs me the wrong way.  

- I remember once in elementary school a boy asked my name, then he informed me "That's not a name. Your real name is Tracy."  No, no, Tracy is a perfectly nice name, but it's not my name.  I do know what my mama named me.  

 

Last thought:  OP, is it possible to reserve your cruise with an initial for your first name?  Perhaps if your name were -- and I'm making up most of this -- Merre Suzanne Smith, and you prefer to be called Suzanne, could you register with the cruise as M. Suzanne Smith?  Your full-name ID would still "fit" that shortened name.  Askin' not tellin' .  

[XBGuy]

1 hour ago, Mum2Mercury said:

Like in Romeo and Juliet? 

 

Ding-ding.  Ding-ding.

 

We have a winner.

[Kristelle]

2 hours ago, Mum2Mercury said:

- I remember once in elementary school a boy asked my name, then he informed me "That's not a name. Your real name is Tracy."  No, no, Tracy is a perfectly nice name, but it's not my name.  I do know what my mama named me.  

 

 

I think that is different and  is also wrong - people deliberately mispronouncing your name or deciding for you to change it to something else.

 

something done a lot in the past to people with non mainstream names - Guiseppe became Joe whether he wanted to or not

 

I think we should all try our best to pronounce people's names as we are asked to and to respect their right to change or not change their name as  THEY want to.

 

But people not knowing and not doing deliberately - as was OP's scenario - that is different.

 

 

 

[Mum2Mercury]

17 hours ago, Kristelle said:

something done a lot in the past to people with non mainstream names - Guiseppe became Joe whether he wanted to or not

Ellis Island wasn't always a kind place -- many families' names were shortened or made to sound more American.  

17 hours ago, Kristelle said:

I think we should all try our best to pronounce people's names as we are asked to and to respect their right to change or not change their name as  THEY want to.

Wow, I try hard to pronounce my students' names correctly.  I always tell them, "You've gotta give me a pass the first week of school -- I'm meeting over 100 people this week, and I can't learn your names in a day."  What's hard is the names that don't obey the rules of phonics; I write them phonetically in my grade book.  

 

But I can't call some of my students what they want to be called.  No, I can't say, "Is Little Boo-Boo here today?"  Or, "Smooth, please read the next paragraph for the class."  

[Z'Loth]

"Your identity is your most important possession. Protect it." 

 

And, quite frankly, some of the best people I worked with have unusual or hard to pronounce names. From both my job and Toastmasters, I make it a point to properly pronounce people's names. 

 

And, yes, I have dealt with a Howard Duck many years ago... yes, that actually was his name.🥲 And one of my former co-workers was named "Bucky". 

[Kristelle]

5 hours ago, Mum2Mercury said:

Ellis Island wasn't always a kind place -- many families' names were shortened or made to sound more American.  

Wow, I try hard to pronounce my students' names correctly.  I always tell them, "You've gotta give me a pass the first week of school -- I'm meeting over 100 people this week, and I can't learn your names in a day."  What's hard is the names that don't obey the rules of phonics; I write them phonetically in my grade book.  

 

But I can't call some of my students what they want to be called.  No, I can't say, "Is Little Boo-Boo here today?"  Or, "Smooth, please read the next paragraph for the class."  

 

 

not sure why the "Wow" 🤨

 

I said we should try our best to pronounce names correctly - I didnt say it was easy or we will always get it right - just that we should try our best and not deliberately mis pronounce or change them.

 

Of course people can't just go by silly made up  names like Little Boo Boo - and that wasnt at all what I meant - I meant it is up to the person whether their name is shortened - eg if they want to be called Jennifer or Jenny - or whether they are known by their middle name or their name is anglicised etc

Edited July 21, 2023 by Kristelle

[ldubs]

5 hours ago, Mum2Mercury said:

Ellis Island wasn't always a kind place -- many families' names were shortened or made to sound more American.  

Wow, I try hard to pronounce my students' names correctly.  I always tell them, "You've gotta give me a pass the first week of school -- I'm meeting over 100 people this week, and I can't learn your names in a day."  What's hard is the names that don't obey the rules of phonics; I write them phonetically in my grade book.  

 

But I can't call some of my students what they want to be called.  No, I can't say, "Is Little Boo-Boo here today?"  Or, "Smooth, please read the next paragraph for the class."  

 

Why isn't phonetically spelled phonetically?  😄 

[Mum2Mercury]

2 hours ago, Kristelle said:

not sure why the "Wow" 🤨

 

I said we should try our best to pronounce names correctly - I didnt say it was easy or we will always get it right - just that we should try our best and not deliberately mis pronounce or change them.

 

Of course people can't just go by silly made up  names like Little Boo Boo - and that wasnt at all what I meant - I meant it is up to the person whether their name is shortened - eg if they want to be called Jennifer or Jenny - or whether they are known by their middle name or their name is anglicised etc

If you read in a negative tone, please be assured I didn't intend that.  

I don't remember why I said "Wow", but it wasn't meant as a negative. 

[cruisemom42]

4 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

Why isn't phonetically spelled phonetically?  😄 

 

Because that would take all the "phon" out of it.

[PurpleHays]

I worked in a Level 1 trauma hosptial in the OR. We treated patients from around the world. When I'd introduce myself to the patient, I would try to pronounce the name. If I had no shot whatsoever to get it right, I'd apologize and ask. I found it works in most cases.

 

I'm a Christine that goes by Christy. It I'm waiting for an appointment of on a cruise, I expect to be called Christine. I don't at work. I introduce myself as Christy. I have a mild hearing loss and tell surgeons and staff to call me Christy. I listen for it and can usually hear it in all the background noise. One of my surgeons was calling me Christine and I wasn't answering because I didn't hear it. The accented syllable is different. Even as he said "it is your name, isn't it?"

 

While I understand the OP, I let it slide. Life is too short to worry about what I am called, especially by people I probably won't see again. They can call my Christine all they want as long as they serve my margarita in a timely manner.

[K32682]

I have a surname that is sometimes difficult to pronounce. ESL people insert a syllable because of how it is spelled. Japanese and other east Asian speakers can't even come close and shorten it to something more manageable for them. In a world of things worth getting fussed over this is not one of them. 

[Joebucks]

I have a name

I don't like my name

People sometimes call me by my name. I don't like that. 

I don't feel like changing the name

I feel like I lost my freedom

Why are people so mean

 

This is how you Karen. Don't Karen. 

[Elaine5715]

I had a coworker whose name was Catherine.  If anyone called her Cathy or Cath or anything other than Catherine, she would rudely corrected them, be it first time or tenth time.  She died unexpectedly at age 40 and this was the main thing I remember about her.  Pretty sad.  I also never mentioned to her that Elaine starts with an E not an A because I have other windmills to till at.  

[SPacificbound]

On 7/19/2023 at 12:00 PM, HaliMakai said:

I know this is random but just wondering if anyone else feels this way.  My parents gave me a lovely name, but I have always gone by my middle name, my entire 63 years I have been here.  I traveled under that name, work and still do work, filed my taxes - still do, got a mortgage, car loans, insurance with only my middle and last name.  Then 911 happened and everyone must use your legal name, or as they say your first name.  When you board the cruise ship everyone is so friendly and addresses you with the name on the reservation.  It can be quite funny sometimes, since my first name is "Merre" it is pronounced like Merry, it was a family name and it was my beautiful grandmother's name.  But the nice room stewards and waiters usually say, "Hello Ms Merrrrr".  so not their fault for the pronunciation.   I understand that I can legally change my name and I know some people have done that, but it is expensive.  I just wish they had a place one the reservation for preferred "Nickname" or something.  I feel like I lost a little bit of the freedom we are supposed to have in America.

 

I also was named after my grandmother, and even though I have never used that name in a social setting, it is my legal name. Jeannette- no one could spell it right, and usually called me Janet.

 

I have had a passport since quite a while before 9/11, and my legal name had to be on that passport back then, just as it does now. This has nothing to do with 9/11 or freedom.

 

So my airline boarding pass, and my cruise pass, and my passport have to be the same as my legal name. I guess if it bothered me I could choose to not travel, but I don't see that happening so I will just do as I have done my whole life and not worry about it.

[fruitmachine]

On 7/25/2023 at 3:37 AM, Elaine5715 said:

I had a coworker whose name was Catherine.  If anyone called her Cathy or Cath or anything other than Catherine, she would rudely corrected them, be it first time or tenth time.  She died unexpectedly at age 40 and this was the main thing I remember about her.  Pretty sad.  I also never mentioned to her that Elaine starts with an E not an A because I have other windmills to till at.  

I worked with someone called David. He said that, at university, everyone called him "Dave" and that he quickly corrected them by adding "id". 

 

Very soon they all called him "Id".  🙂

[CC4LifeHomie]

That is so funny! I play pickleball and my name is sometimes recognized by fans of Major League Pickleball, so I have to make arrangements to have a fake name whenever I choose to cruise. I usually go by the name Travis because I think it is a fancy white name.

[SteveK69]

I am Advanced  Player 4.0 - 4.5 bring your Paddle and would like to play or hit some!!

 

Steve69

[BND]

On 7/19/2023 at 1:00 PM, HaliMakai said:

I know this is random but just wondering if anyone else feels this way.  My parents gave me a lovely name, but I have always gone by my middle name, my entire 63 years I have been here.  I traveled under that name, work and still do work, filed my taxes - still do, got a mortgage, car loans, insurance with only my middle and last name.  Then 911 happened and everyone must use your legal name, or as they say your first name.  When you board the cruise ship everyone is so friendly and addresses you with the name on the reservation.  It can be quite funny sometimes, since my first name is "Merre" it is pronounced like Merry, it was a family name and it was my beautiful grandmother's name.  But the nice room stewards and waiters usually say, "Hello Ms Merrrrr".  so not their fault for the pronunciation.   I understand that I can legally change my name and I know some people have done that, but it is expensive.  I just wish they had a place one the reservation for preferred "Nickname" or something.  I feel like I lost a little bit of the freedom we are supposed to have in America.

I'm also 63 and have always gone by my middle name.  No one in my family ever used my legal first name. First day of school was always the same " I go by x" and that was it.  However, I always used my legal first name for everything such as mortgage, taxes, credit cards, etc.  It's consistent.  I wish I'd changed my name when I got married because then all I'd have to do is drop my first name and use my maiden name as my middle name.   The crew used my legal first name and I don't really care.  It doesn't impact my life at all.  

 

I worked as a personnel security specialist for the US gov for several years and had access to full names, ssn's etc.  People would ask me to do something for them and I had to verity in our db.  I think you'd be surprised how many people go by middle names or nicknames as I found when I'd try to find them in the db.  I had to go back and ask them for their legal name pretty often.  It's more common than people think.

Edited August 2, 2023 by BND

[GrannyJ]

Nobody pronounces my first name or middle name correctly.  Nobody on earth CAN pronounce my last name correctly unless you're related.  So I've learned to smile and answer to anything that vaguely resembles any of my names.  It's easy enough to do.  I may correct the pronunciation somewhere along the line or I may not.  It's not that important.  

[DarrenM]

On 7/20/2023 at 12:05 AM, GeezerCouple said:

 

You think this is "losing" a bit of the freedom we are "supposed" to have in America!??

This isn't what most people think of at the top of the list of "freedoms".  Or the middle.  Or on the list at all, for the most part! 🤨

Plus, you *could* change your name; that IS a part of your "freedom"!  Your choice = freedom!

And it's not so expensive.  (Or is there likely to be someone who contests your name change case such that there will be an expensive legal battle?)

 

And along the lines of other posts above, what in the world is wrong with asking anyone who calls you <whatever... it could be Rumplestiltskin>  to

"Please call me <your name/your pronunciation>.  Thanks!"

Perhaps bring some name tags for yourself to make it easier for everyone, including yourself.

 

You are an adult and haven't figured out how to politely and comfortably help others to call you by the name and pronunciation you prefer?

 

And if it's a "lovely" name that was from your "beautiful grandmother", do you really want to change it entirely?  (But that's a totally different issue anyway.)

 

Or you could get your documents re-issued as an "aka" (also known as) or "ka" (known as), although the latter doesn't seem to be your situation, as you *are* also known as both names, etc.

Those used to take just a few forms and affidavits, but that may be different nowadays(?).

Neither of those are the same thing as legally *changing* your name, and they aren't complicated.

 

BTW, my first name has almost always been mispronounced, and I always used a shortened "nickname" anyway.  And when the full first name is mispronounced a certain way, it rhymes with several other (non-offensive) words.  Thus, in elementary school, every time a substitute teacher did a roll call, as soon as they garbled my name, the other children would start chanting that long list of rhyming words... I hated it.  I've long since outgrown that.

GC

 

My name is Darren but I go by daphne on a weekend.

 

😁😁