Husband never knows where he's going

[Denny01]

Thanks Dan. Beautifully stated.

Let's get back to happy cruising stuff.

Who makes you cruise arrangements, and what related stories do you have to share?

 

Can't really say one or the other does since we discuss various options, and also discuss cruises with friends. My wife was excited about our last cruise and was the one who 'championed' that one. I picked a cruise so we could try AQ at a lower rate, and I booked the cruise and flights for our upcoming Reflection B2B cruise.

 

I usually do the sharing on the Roll Call to find potential private tours, and check options on the ship tours. She'll read them and maybe pick an important tour she wants. On our Baltic cruise, She wanted to see the Brusse Lace tour because she remembered it when she was young. I picked the Stockholm Milinnium tour based on the The Girl w the Dragon Tattoo books. We went with each others choices.

 

So I do a lot of the research and she looks for specifics.

 

And it appears we share a lot and aren't into 'control', but I used a TA this time because of the OBC, but I really hate having to call and send emails to get things changed, so I am a bit of a control-freak, I'm just smart enough not to do it within a marriage, being a limp noodle and all ( I couldn't keep from it!).

 

 

Den

[maz48]

I get the distinct feeling that some women want their partners to be helpless when it comes to packing and travel. I do not understand this.

 

I cannot imagine my DW packing for me, let alone selecting what clothes to wear. Nor can she imagine packing for me. I think that I have been packing my own clothes since I was about 12 or 13.

 

If DW packed for me my suitcase would be twice as big and twice as heavy. No thanks. And I always know when we are going, where we are going, and how we are getting there. It is not that difficult.

 

I think we are all different and in every way and I would accept that you do plan together and actually remember everything and do you own packing etc so why can't you accept that some work differently without making such a comment? This thread was quite funny so I guess some of us have more of a sense of humour than others!

 

I don't think it is wanting our partners to be helpless at all. I see we might want to have everything just right and if the partner(whichever sex) is happy with the other one being that way then so be it. We have been married 43 years quite happily.

 

Maybe I just follow my mother's way as she did all the packing. Who knows why these things start. I would hate to have to spend the first day or so shopping for forgotten clothes etc. Though I am not invincible and have forgotten things in the past.

 

But yes I will admit that I overpack both for myself and my husband, I like choice. I also pack our clothes mixed together since having had a bag lost on a flight.

[petesweet]

Does anyone else as the main planner and controller feel they have failed miserably when something goes slightly wrong and worry about it for ages after???:confused:

 

I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I do know from experience that if anything goes wrong, those who just hang on and go for the ride will blame the planner. They have no idea how complicated it can be to make plans for every little thing and how much can go wrong. I usually plan for at least four and usually six. I know.:D

Kathy

[4774Papa]

I am the vacation planner in the household, but I consult with DW. Also, I don't let my DW cut our grass or wash my clothes or pack my suitcase.

It takes me less than an hour to pack my bags. I guess some people need more support?

[Cruise Raider]

Does your spouse/partner/cruise buddy know what you've booked? Get involved at all in planning?

We cruise or do a land vacation every six months or so. My husband lets it be known what he's interested in, then lets me run with it. I let him know what I've booked and what/when we're going. In ten minutes he's forgotten about it. He always enjoys our cruise vacations immensely, but he doesn't care to enter into any discussion pre-cruise or port activity planning.

He doesn't have Alzheimers, and he loves travel. But often a few days before our cruises he'll ask "where are we going again?" And we'll be headed to the airport to catch a flight for Venice while he was thinking all along we were flying an hour away to the grandkids. Then he gets all excited and plunges happily into the adventure.

 

I just booked a Sydney to Hawaii cruise today. Husband said "should be great". He's a peach, but he'll forget. If I died tonight we'd lose the deposit on two cruises ;)

 

Maybe it's just the way it is for cruise families. How does it work for you?

 

That is the funniest...the Alzheimer's part. My husband is exactly the same as long as I don't book anything during a home Raider game.

[navy_wifes_mother]

Not only do I do all the planning, choosing, and preparing for all our vacations, but my hubby never remembers where we are going and worse than that, he doesn't even remember what cruises we've taken. He is quite sure we've been to Jamaica, and tells everyone how much fun we had there, but we have never been to Jamaica. We've been to the Bahamas several times, and to the Grand Caymans, but never to Jamaica.

[CaroleLee]

Does your spouse/partner/cruise buddy know what you've booked? Get involved at all in planning?

We cruise or do a land vacation every six months or so. My husband lets it be known what he's interested in, then lets me run with it. I let him know what I've booked and what/when we're going. In ten minutes he's forgotten about it. He always enjoys our cruise vacations immensely, but he doesn't care to enter into any discussion pre-cruise or port activity planning.

He doesn't have Alzheimers, and he loves travel. But often a few days before our cruises he'll ask "where are we going again?" And we'll be headed to the airport to catch a flight for Venice while he was thinking all along we were flying an hour away to the grandkids. Then he gets all excited and plunges happily into the adventure.

 

I just booked a Sydney to Hawaii cruise today. Husband said "should be great". He's a peach, but he'll forget. If I died tonight we'd lose the deposit on two cruises ;)

 

Maybe it's just the way it is for cruise families. How does it work for you?

 

My DH never quite remembers where or when we are going.He leaves everything to me and then can't understand what we are doing a JFK. See below for our last cruise on the Solstice.

Sing along- to the Tune of " I remember it well"

Him- I packed my bags

Her I repacked you to carry on

Him- We flew to Rome

Her- To Barcelona

Ah yes I remember it well.

Him -We had great pizza

Her- We had tapas

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- The Trevi Fountain

Her -The Parc Guell

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- Those romantic French Chateau

Her- The walls of Dubrovnik and Montenegro too

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- you were all in blue

Her- I was all in Black I'm from NYC,you know

Him- Am I getting old ?

Her- Maybe you not me

That Aqua Class,that dinner in Blu,the sail in to Venice,the shopping in Capri,the dinner in Florence and Pisa as well

Ah yes I remember it well.

Her-so can I please book again?

Happy crusing to all the planners

Carole

[Grumpy100]

About 15 years ago we went on a 5000 mile road trip that started in Las Vegas and traveled to Arizona, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana and then across to Washington state and then ended in San Francisco and he still does not know where we went. He drove the whole way and we had a great time with our daughter and just drove where I told him to.

On cruises he has no idea where we are going or everywhere we have been on our last 20 cruises. Its better that way especially when we fley to Sydney Australia I never told him it was a 14-15 hr. flight. I start with 10 hrs. and everytime he asks me again I add one more hr. but then tell him that its not as bad on the return flight.

Happy sailing and flying.

[Petoonya]

Grumpy....I feel less guilty. I keep mum too about the length of flights, but have a 37 hour flight/journey to Kathmandu for in October, 34 hours on the return. I'll keep your hint in mind :)

 

CaroleLee...your song is incredible and the words and the recalled melody brought a wee tear to my eye.

 

Navywife...maybe it's time to do Ocho Rios :)

 

CruiseRaider....Go Raiders!

[lovey1103]

My DH just comes along for the ride. As long as I'm happy, he's happy too.

[jcrandle]

Not only for cruises, but for more mundane schedule items, DW and I email calendar entries for future events. As we get older, and more hard of listening, an email not only eliminates obfuscation, but provides forensic evidence to the very important "I told you about that"

[misha1]

My DH never quite remembers where or when we are going.He leaves everything to me and then can't understand what we are doing a JFK. See below for our last cruise on the Solstice.

Sing along- to the Tune of " I remember it well"

Him- I packed my bags

Her I repacked you to carry on

Him- We flew to Rome

Her- To Barcelona

Ah yes I remember it well.

Him -We had great pizza

Her- We had tapas

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- The Trevi Fountain

Her -The Parc Guell

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- Those romantic French Chateau

Her- The walls of Dubrovnik and Montenegro too

Ah yes I remember it well

Him- you were all in blue

Her- I was all in Black I'm from NYC,you know

Him- Am I getting old ?

Her- Maybe you not me

That Aqua Class,that dinner in Blu,the sail in to Venice,the shopping in Capri,the dinner in Florence and Pisa as well

Ah yes I remember it well.

Her-so can I please book again?

Happy crusing to all the planners

Carole

Ha HA HA HA...again, so true. DH will be relaying a story of our travels and he will have so many of the details...like location, time of year, what we did where, so wrong. Sometimes I wonder if we were on the same trip?

[JanetAlice]

About 15 years ago we went on a 5000 mile road trip that started in Las Vegas and traveled to Arizona, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana and then across to Washington state and then ended in San Francisco and he still does not know where we went. He drove the whole way and we had a great time with our daughter and just drove where I told him to.

On cruises he has no idea where we are going or everywhere we have been on our last 20 cruises. Its better that way especially when we fley to Sydney Australia I never told him it was a 14-15 hr. flight. I start with 10 hrs. and everytime he asks me again I add one more hr. but then tell him that its not as bad on the return flight.

Happy sailing and flying.

 

Glad to know I'm not the only one who tells white lies. My husband has an 8 hour driving "limit" but I wanted to go to Frank Lloyd Wright's Falling Water which is almost 9 and a half hours away. I just said it was a little over eight hours away. He did agree after that it was well worth the extra travel time.

[packedandready]

All this reminds me of our barbques. I shop for the things, prepare the meat, make the sides and set the table while he sits outside with a soda. After dinner he grins and says "Baby, aren't ya glad I cooked dinner for you":D

 

At least he does most of the clean-up, so I'm a happy camper.

[Grumpy100]

The same goes it we are driving on a trip somewhere. He asks how far it is and I usually judge a little but then he sees the mile sign and then I am in trouble. Oh well....:p:p:p

[arewethereyet]

The same goes it we are driving on a trip somewhere. He asks how far it is and I usually judge a little but then he sees the mile sign and then I am in trouble. Oh well....:p:p:p

Depending on where you are going, you can still trick him. Let's say you are going to Cleveland and according to him you should be there by now. Then he sees a sign that says "Cleveland 73, Pittsburgh 38". OK, you just casually say that's just a football score.

[wildescapade]

A few years ago we planned a cruise with about 15 other people, one week before we were leaving my husband came home from work and said "next Friday I am going to the opening of a new restaurant with a couple of friends"

So, I said, "Great! have fun, I am flying to Puerto Rico that day so I can go on a cruise the next day, so I will see you in about 10 days!! Needless to say, he came on the cruise but REALLY!!!

[CHEZMARYLOU]

My DH knows where we are cruising to and can name some of the ports. We both review excursions and I do the booking, as well as the booking for the cruise.

 

He picks some of his clothes but I do the packing because I want to cross pack and don't want my clothes wrinkled and I don't want to go over the luggage weight limits on the air lines. :D

 

Mary Lou

[relic2]

Mary Lou, I agree with your packing plan. After a friend lost her luggage on a flight but her DH got his, I always pack some of each of our clothes in each bag, including one change of underwear each in my carry on. Should the unlikely happen and both checked bags go missing, we won't be going commando while we wait for our undies to dry.

Margaret

[ChollaChick]

LOL. It sounds like it's pretty normal to have a "planner" and a "traveler" in a couple. I am definitely the planner, doing the research before depositing and then doing all sorts of planning/research for the trip. DH knows where he's going but he'll generally kind of "forget" about it until it's time to go. I plan the excursions and the packing and pretty much he just sort of does the traveling. It works for us as I really enjoy the planning process and he doesn't. :)

[bunzini]

I'm the planner too and he just goes along for the ride. He loves cruising, but does not get into the details, has never been on cruise critic either. These posts just make me laugh---looks like we are all similar!

[JanetAlice]

Another thought on this topic. Do you get more excited about the trip as the planner? Maybe it's because we know what is coming. I'm on my flight right now. wifi for $5 on Southwest. Can't beat it.

[Teresa Price]

My husband no, he just enjoys it when we get there!

[dvan68]

Yup, I am the planner, and price checker. DH thinks I am insane, but ultimately enjoys the savings that I find. I have certain criteria from him when booking cruises. Can't have 2 sea days in a row, and can't end on a sea day. Sometimes it is a challenge to find things, but sometimes it helps to ease the decision making. I'm not sure I have ever booked a vacation he didn't like ;)

[4774Papa]

Yup, I am the planner, and price checker. DH thinks I am insane, but ultimately enjoys the savings that I find. I have certain criteria from him when booking cruises. Can't have 2 sea days in a row, and can't end on a sea day. Sometimes it is a challenge to find things, but sometimes it helps to ease the decision making. I'm not sure I have ever booked a vacation he didn't like ;)

Those are pretty strict requirements. We like port days, but we had a super cruise from FLL through the Panama Canal to Chile last December that had a couple examples of two sea days in a row. Also, we are doing Top End Australia next Feb that will have two sea days a couple of times.

 

Then a TA and B2B British Isles. You must be limited to doing Caribbean cruises or perhaps a Med cruise?