How does your family handle bad news when on vacation

[uncleg]

We may seem a little odd, at least most of my friends think so. When there is a death in family or a hospitalization my family does not inform family members who are traveling. The logic is there is nothing you can do, and if someone does pass, you can pay your respects when you return.

 

Sounds cold, but we each don't want to ruin anyone's vacation..if we or anyone else in family passes.

 

We may be odd.:confused:

[Waterloomarc]

Nope we are the same way. We were on a cruise when the big tornado came through Alabama 4 (5?) years ago. We saw on the news that our town was hit. We thought about calling in to check on our house. We decided against it and figured we might as well enjoy the cruise without worrying about it. If our house was gone what would knowing about it change?

 

Might still be weird but I agree with your logic. I don't understand people rushing to the hospital when loved ones are admitted. Unless you're a doctor you can't help. (I'm not talking about stopping by to visit, Southerners seem to think they must camp out in the hospital for the duration no matter how small the matter)

[EmmasNana]

On the last day of a cruise (sea day), I got the call that my Mother passed. No, there was nothing I could do, but I'm glad my daughter called to let me know. One of the reasons I purchase insurance is just for this reason.

 

Now my hubby's Mom is 96 and I don't think they would call us, but I think they should. I guess that is between his siblings and him. I only say that they would likely not call because once we were on the way to get on a ship and she ended up in the hospital. His sister opted not to tell us. We could have turned around but didn't know. DH seemed fine with it.

[SadieN]

Depends on the situation.

 

Found out there was a 6+ earthquake near DD's far northern CA school. (6+ does get SoCal'nians attention). Get ahold of her and she says, "I was finally getting into writing this paper and it hit, talk to you later, bye!" Won't call her again unless I hear about a tsunami.

 

We had to reroute a two week driving trip on day 3 because of forest fires.

 

Best cruise story---

Did a west coast repo and saw two gals eating alone at two tops. We had room at our table so DH says they should join us. Waiter points to them and says no. Points to the first gal, Her husband died during the previous (world) cruise. She goes home, buries him and reboards. The other lady's husband also died. She just shipped his body home. Oh to be like the second gal.

[RuthlessBoss]

I agree for the most part, but it would also not be proper in some situations to with hold.

[Warm Breezes]

We had that situation come up with my Grandmother. We were driving to NY to sail on the Glory. She wasn't doing very good the day before we were to leave. I told my family that if she passed away before we got on the ship to please call us and we would come home to mourn with our family. If it was after then we wouldn't try to come home. It was only a 5 night cruise with only 2 port stops and it would have been difficult to arrange. It turned out as we were sitting in the hotel that night after driving 16 hours to NY we got the call that she had passed away. We ended up cancelling our cruise and using our insurance to get our money back and driving home the next day. I was sad to cancel but we rebooked the same cruise the following year and added another one over that Thanksgiving to make up for the one we cancelled.

 

I was glad for my kids sake that we went home. They were very close to their Great Grandma. My DD often walked to her apartment after school as she was growing up to visit with her and I felt the closure and mourning with my Aunt, who was their babysitter while I worked, was more beneficial to us than a cruise that could be replaced.

Edited August 14, 2015 by Warm Breezes

[finzup-kt]

If someone in my family was injured or hospitalized and they might die, I would absolutely want to know so I could get there. If an immediate family member such as a mother or father passed away, I think I still would want to know. I would hate to think that I was laughing and having a great time on my vacation when I should've been mourning and making arrangements, or just being there for other family members for support. Family is forever, vacation is just a week.

[ready2cruzagain]

We may seem a little odd, at least most of my friends think so. When there is a death in family or a hospitalization my family does not inform family members who are traveling. The logic is there is nothing you can do, and if someone does pass, you can pay your respects when you return.

 

Sounds cold, but we each don't want to ruin anyone's vacation..if we or anyone else in family passes.

 

We may be odd.:confused:

Well, if you are odd then so are we. This is exactly how we handle bad news when on vacation.

 

You are right, there is nothing we can do about so we have told our families not to tell us until we are back.

[Carnival Cutie]

That's a hard call. If there is a situation where you could be needed or could be of assistance by all means you should be told. If not I don't see the rationale of giving someone bad news during their vacation. Case in point: We cruised this January to celebrate my birthday. My sister, who was traveling with us, received a text from another sister that her own mother in law had died. We were at sea at the time. Actually, the other sister was asking for information about the funeral arrangements. My sister's son knew about the death but opted not to contact his mother. I fell and fractured my arm at the hotel we were staying at the morning we were leaving for my husband's birthday cruise in November. We got the okay from the medical staff at the hospital where I was treated to travel so we kept the news to ourselves until we got back home. There was nothing that could be done in either case.

 

Just my opinion.

[CruisingAmazona]

If someone in my family was injured or hospitalized and they might die, I would absolutely want to know so I could get there. If an immediate family member such as a mother or father passed away, I think I still would want to know. I would hate to think that I was laughing and having a great time on my vacation when I should've been mourning and making arrangements, or just being there for other family members for support. Family is forever, vacation is just a week.

 

Completely agree with you. 100%. If someone from my immediate family is hurt, or could die, and I am not informed, there will be HELL to pay when I get back. Tell me and I will make the decision to stay or leave. My parents died in 2013 and 2014, and I made a voluntary choice NOT to cruise for almost three years because I knew this could happen at any time. I too would feel horrible knowing I was partying and having a great old time when a brother/sister/mother/father or someone very close to me was dying or died.

[ConnecticutFlamingo]

No your fine. My family would do the same. The only time the family would contact us is for Mother, Father, Sister or Brothers.

[jmcancruise]

I think so much depend on the situation. I tell whoever has our travel info in case of emergency to call only if it is truly an emergency and we can do something to help.

 

If my mom was to pass I would be very sad not to be there, but there is enough extended family to grieve together that I don't feel I would really be needed.

 

If a grandchild was to die, I would want to know because I know my daughter would be devastated and would need here mom and dad.

 

I guess I leave the judgement whether or not to tell us in the hands of those left behind.

[lady_cruiser]

If someone in my family was injured or hospitalized and they might die, I would absolutely want to know so I could get there. If an immediate family member such as a mother or father passed away, I think I still would want to know. I would hate to think that I was laughing and having a great time on my vacation when I should've been mourning and making arrangements, or just being there for other family members for support. Family is forever, vacation is just a week.

I agree 100%. Our family is small, just my sister, brother and his family. Since my sister and I cruise together we know in a heartbeat if something should happen to our brother or his wife we would be flying out at the next port of call. Some say there is nothing you can't do but being there for the surviving family member says a lot of how we were brought it.

[hockeyluver]

We may seem a little odd, at least most of my friends think so. When there is a death in family or a hospitalization my family does not inform family members who are traveling. The logic is there is nothing you can do, and if someone does pass, you can pay your respects when you return.

 

Sounds cold, but we each don't want to ruin anyone's vacation..if we or anyone else in family passes.

 

We may be odd.:confused:

 

This is also the way we have decided to handle any bad news. The ONLY exception would be if it were one of our daughters.

Edited August 14, 2015 by hockeyluver

[cb at sea]

I would want to know, but would not necessarily leave the cruise to get home quickly...no real point, if they've already passed....and it's true, it depends WHO it is! One of my kids....I'd be there no matter what. And elderly relative....probably not.

[mississauga]

If you want to be notified, here is a tip. FYI:

 

Make sure that your family who would be notifying the ship give your legal names which you have used to book the cruise.

 

We have friends who did not get notified because GS could not find them. They both go by their middle names and when his sister called Carnival, she gave the names they use and not their legal names and could not be found.

 

We have found that many many cruisers do not go by their legal names so it would be so easy for relatives to forget that the name you book and cruise with is different by the name they know you and call you by.

[Gardeneroflove]

We may seem a little odd, at least most of my friends think so. When there is a death in family or a hospitalization my family does not inform family members who are traveling. The logic is there is nothing you can do, and if someone does pass, you can pay your respects when you return.

 

Sounds cold, but we each don't want to ruin anyone's vacation..if we or anyone else in family passes.

 

We may be odd.:confused:

 

No one has any way of contacting us, and likely wouldn't know where we were anyway. We turn phones off.* I'd be beyond upset if anyone ruined our cruise with 'bad news'.

 

* the ONE almost expecption was when we were cruising during Katrina, our phones were off, the tv was off, I walked away any time someone brough up New Olreans, but once I was in port, I did attempt to call my parents.

 

The only way our phones would be on/checking email, giving out our room number/a way to contact us, would be if we were cruising without kid, and that'd be when she's older. I WOULD hop off and fly home if anything happened to her. Anyone else can wait till I'm home.

[Name Of The Game]

We've vacationed several times without even telling my grandparents we were going because they tend to be critical, tell us we could do better things with our money, etc. :rolleyes:

 

However, now we feel we have to because my grandfather is upper 80's. If he would pass away and we didn't answer the phone or return calls when family notified us, there would be an uproar when we got back.

[Homosassa]

I have long told my family if some one dies or becomes ill or injured while we were on a cruise that unless I have developed the power to heal the sick or raise the dead, tell us when we get home.

 

The person in question will either: a) still be dead; or b), hopefully on the road to recovery.

[riffatsea]

We also have told our family that if we are away on a cruise or on a vacation out of the USA that we don't want anyone to get in touch to tell us if someone has died or has gone into the hospital.

We can't bring back the dead and we are not doctors .

Whatever happens happens and when we get home we will deal with it!

We don't have small children which would make a difference in how we would handle things!

If that makes us "cold" then so be it!

[Roscoe13]

When we cruised in 2012 my DW's sister was terminal with cancer. However, we were assured she had a month or more left. Not true. When we checked into our pre cruise hotel on Friday night we got the news that she had been sent home for hospice and might only have a week or two left.

 

I told my DW and her other sister that was traveling with us to go home if she wanted to but I was staying. They both deliberated and then decided to stay. While at dinner in the MDR on the last night of the cruise we got the sad news that she had passed. Both sisters were so very rueful that they weren't there to say goodbye.

 

When we returned, several family members asked why we didn't leave the cruise early once we got the call of her passing.:(

I let them know, as none of them have ever cruised before, that short of a medi-evac, you don't just get off the ship while at sea.:eek:

[maxydu]

We experienced this- sought of.......My wife and I were on our first cruise in 2002 celebrating our 20th anniversary. Our daughter, then 14, flew to Tampa to spend the week with her aunt (my sister). We arrived at our first port, Cozumel, and upon bonging off the ship with our sign and sail card, the security officer told us to go to guest services immediately. Of course our stomach's dropped, anxiety set in and we headed that way.

Upon getting to guest services, the message was "there is an emergency; call your sister immediately- no phone number left." Heart failure sets in as I'm dialing, only to get my sisters voicemail. I called every 15 minutes for two hours and decided to wait for another call to the ship from my sister. Finally.......4 hours later, we get called back to guest services for a message to once again call my sister. I called her, heard her voice and immediately broke down as I asked what was wrong with our daughter. She said, "I don't know what you're talking about.....we were out shopping all day". We were relieved to say the least, then anger set in. To make an even longer story short, WRONG CABIN!!!! our last name was off by 1 letter!! To make up for the error, we were reimbursed for the phone charges and given $25. OBC.........This episode took years off our lives!!

We have been on 10 Carnival cruises since and think about the incident every time we board. Somethings money can't fix!!

[jamesr3939]

If a close family member dies or becomes gravely ill or injured then I better get a call and let me decide how I want to handle it.

[evitacruiser]

This is a holiday, it is not "real life" you can repeat or get back a holiday you can never go back to a time when mourning is the right way to go. I would be absolutely furious if a family memeber thought I would prioritise a holiday over being there when a loved passed or being there to pay my respects or being there to offer comfort to them in hospital.

[vwrestler171]

I don't want to know either, unless it is my kids.