Another rude dining room question

[Kris74]

Reading this makes me think how things are less complicated in this part of the world which is northern europe. Here only those that travel together are served together. No need to wait anyone else if you dont want to. In a restaurant or similar You would just make clear to the waiter who are travelling with whom. Ive only eaten in buffes in cruiseships but then again not yet been on a cuiseship with lots of americans on it.

 

But in a situation like that I would definately just say to the waiter that we want a different pace of eating. No need for anyone get upset is there.

[iancal]

Simple. We would do one of two things, probably the latter

 

-not wait for them, request a dessert menu and get on with it...or skip dessert/coffee, leave, and have our dessert/coffee somewhere else

 

-be re-assigned to another table.

 

Who wants to watch four gluttonous creatures eating themselves into an early grave just because they feel a need to get their money's worth? Let alone wait for them to finish.

Edited November 17, 2015 by iancal

[notentirelynormal]

I would have asked for the dessert menu. Knowing my mouth though I probably would have made an innocent comment about Wow! You're eating a second dinner. I can barely eat one. I would have explained that I'll maybe eat my dessert but because of my tiny stomach I'm going to have to leave right afterwards because otherwise my imagination would probably make me barf. Since that part is true they can take the information or not. Maybe they are the ones that should leave! I would have no problem saying it to them every night either.

 

I'm all for ordering a second app or dinner. I really don't care that you do that BUT to order it AFTER you've already eaten, well, they were just rude.

[Doug S]

Ordering more than one item from each course in itself is not bad. How it is done timing wise could create a problem. I often order both soup and salad, and rarely also an appetizer. Less often I will order a second entree, or maybe the wife and I will split a third if we want to add a pasta dish, or maybe create our own surf and turf. My son was on a kick once where he ordered every soup on the menu to try and usually had no entree.

 

BUT- We always order in one pass, and eat to keep the meal moving along. The waiters are usually great about adapting and everything flowed smoothly and nobody had to sit and watch us eat.

 

Reordering and throwing the waiters off stride is where it gets rude in my book. Or not being aware of your table mates and saying "don't wait on us. Go ahead and order dessert if you are ready".

 

I also don't feel it is rude to announce that you are on a tight schedule, having a show to get to, or other activity, or just planning to meet someone at a bar, and politely excusing yourselves a bit early. We've been on both sides of that and nobody took offense either way.

[maywell]

Just do like I do - just ask for the dessert menu and/or excuse yourself from table by saying "Good night/evening and see you later/ have a lovely evening". Just be polite while while saying it and enjoy whatever else that evening.

 

I'm a lite eater - unless the conversation is that good, there's really no reason for me to stick around and watch others eat for 5 minutes, let alone another 60 minutes. There's nothing to feel bad or guilty about especially since other couple(s) are obviously not; they're too busy enjoy eating - so why should the person(s) who are done, have to be?

 

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[srlafleur]

I would have just said , "We're going to go ahead and order dessert and coffee now, so we can get to the show" (or whatever) and excused myself from the table when I was finished.

I don't think the other couples were rude at all, and I don't think eating dessert while they're eating something else is rude, either.

It's just awkward, is all, which is why we choose freestyle dining.

[sail7seas]

Reading this makes me think how things are less complicated in this part of the world which is northern europe. Here only those that travel together are served together. No need to wait anyone else if you dont want to. In a restaurant or similar You would just make clear to the waiter who are travelling with whom. Ive only eaten in buffes in cruiseships but then again not yet been on a cuiseship with lots of americans on it.

 

But in a situation like that I would definately just say to the waiter that we want a different pace of eating. No need for anyone get upset is there.

 

In our American restaurants (with VERY rare exception) one is only seated at a table with those with whom they came to the restaurant unless some other request is made by the customers. On cruise ships, one does not have to dine with any strangers. They can request a table to themselves. Some cruisers enjoy meeting new people at communal dining tables but for those of us who don't want that, we certainly can have a table to ourselves.

 

No one is forced to dine with any Americans with whom they don't wish to dine or anyone else who is not known to them.

 

Edited November 17, 2015 by sail7seas

[ronandannette]

I probably would have asked for a dessert menu, and then politely excuse myself after I was finished. I don't think you are required to remain if the table mates are going to "Re-order."

I didn't actually realize when seated at a MDR table with others, that one was obligated to stay until the entire table was finished. I've never had a traditional dining seating where that happened. Presumably everyone is served starters and mains at the same time, often not everyone at the table even orders dessert. Sometimes several couples will want to linger over coffee or wine; some might have a show or activity planned. Everybody politely excuses themselves when they're ready to go.

On a 16 night TA cruise my mom and I were seated with two other couples. The first night one of the ladies gave a standing order to the waiter that the coffee was not to be served until dessert was completely finished. Now my mom would normally be expecting a cup of coffee as soon as the main course dishes were cleared, no later than when the dessert menus were brought to us. Complicating the matter was that the cruise started under Code Red meaning that the coffee pots, creamer and sugar could not even be stored at the wait station next to our table; our waiter would have had to make a separate trip to the kitchen each time someone wanted a cup.

 

I don't if my mom or another person at the table said something, but when the Code Red was finally lifted on day 7 our waiters seemed to be able to read our minds and served not just the coffee but any other of our preferred accompaniments exactly when we expected them as if he could read our minds. That is how it should have been solved, with the waiter sensing a passenger's discomfort and offering a remedy before being asked. No I don't expect every waiter to be perfect or a mind reader, so if he remained oblivious to the fact that all six at the table did not equally participate in such gluttony a conversation with the head waiter should have occurred. Either way simple issues like this should be solvable without necessarily changing tables (and in my example I'm very glad we didn't) but requesting said change may be easier as it requires no explanation.

 

:rolleyes:Or, you know, you could have just said something. The waitstaff are accustomed to accommodating requests from diners. Going back and forth several times for coffee wouldn't faze them in the least.

[Guest maddycat]

After the first time this happened, I would have asked the Maitre'd to change our table and left the two couples to their own devices.

 

This is exactly what I would have done.

[ronrick1943]

Agree, that's why we always have a table for 2-unless we're cruising with friends. We enjoy dinner and want to do it without problems.

[Julie MacCoy]

They went back and ordered previous courses again. That alone is rude to the staff let alone other table mates. The staff asks you to order every choice you want per course at once. NOT go back and ask for another shrimp cocktail after the entree is served. The kitchen is trying to set desert prep. They don't need to be scrambling around for a course that was served 45 minutes ago.

 

It's not the amount. It's the fact that they backtracked as well as held up service for the other couple since staff waits until everyone has finished a course before offering the next one.

Okay. Now I see why you said that the big eaters were rude. But I must say that I have NEVER been told by a waiter that once I have ordered my appetizer and entree, I am NOT allowed to order another appetizer and/or entree later on. I have found out on cruise ships that it's impossible to know ahead of time if an appetizer will be of a good portion size or laughably small. When I was on NCL and ordered an appetizer of mussels, I was quite surprised to receive only three mussels. When I was on a Celebrity ship and ordered Scallops Rockefeller as an appetizer, I was quite surprised to receive only one scallop. And someone else said what I was thinking, that it should have been called "Scallop Rockefeller," not "Scallops Rockefeller."

 

I did not order more mussels or another scallop. However, there was a time that I ordered short ribs as an appetizer, and it was a laughably small portion, and I liked it so much that I asked for a second helping, even though I had already ordered my entree, and the waiter brought it to me. I had no idea that I was being rude, since the waiter had never said that once I gave him my requests for an appetizer and entree, I was not allowed to order another appetizer or entree. So how was I supposed to know that I was extremely rude?

 

If there really are hard and fast rules about how passengers are not allowed to order appetizers and/or soup and/or salad and/or entrees after they placed their initial order, these rules should be printed on the menus, because not all waiters remember to mention them. As I said, I have NEVER been told by a waiter that I cannot say, "I also want this and that" after I have eaten what I previously ordered.

[Tralynn]

After the first night, I would have spoken to the wait staff and expressed my concern. I'm sure they would be willing to make note that you'd prefer not to wait on the other couple's unusual dining habits. This would at least solve the issue without having to bring it up in front of the other couple. I personally do not feel it would be rude or disrespectful in the least.

[DirtyDawg]

I agree with all the other posters that it would not be rude to ask for the desert menu and finish before the other table-mates.

 

I also not not think the other couples were being rude either. If they want to order extras, or out of sequence, that is their choice, they are the customers. It is not rude for a customer to not fit into the assembly line which is the MDR. As a business the cruise line and its employees are there to satisfy the customer, not the other way around.

[luvs2beachit]

That's one reason we prefer Anytime Dining.

 

Even so, we would have either excused ourselves when we were finished dinner or ask for the dessert menu if we wanted dessert.

 

No need to make excuses in Anytime about why we would not be having dinner with them again. :D

 

LuLu

 

No need to make excuses in traditional time dining either. If we are seated at a table with others who want to indulge in leisurely pre-dinner drinks before ordering (and we did have this experience) or want to eat additional apps or entrees that drag out the dining time that is their right but their behaviors / rights do not set the tone for our dining experience. I would have no problem asking the waiter to bring us our menus and food in a timely manner. I am sorry if this creates extra work for the waiter but that's not my problem. We come to dinner expecting that it will take about one and a half hours and we plan our evening accordingly. We are not about to change

our evening plans because of other peoples behaviors. Sorry if that sounds rude to some but we all equals at the cruise dining table and no one persons personal dining preferences trumps another persons rights.

[NLH Arizona]

After the first night, I would ask to be moved to another table. If this was impossible, I would ask for the dessert menu, when I was finished with my meal.

[Velvetwater]

I think its fine to order whatever and as much as you like but it is rude to expect your new tablemates to wait while you guzzle.

 

If you plan on eating an entire shopping trolley at least permit your tablemates to enjoy their food in a different manner/time to you and do not be surprised when they have finished before you and leave.

[Cruisin' Chick]

No need to make excuses in traditional time dining either. If we are seated at a table with others who want to indulge in leisurely pre-dinner drinks before ordering (and we did have this experience) or want to eat additional apps or entrees that drag out the dining time that is their right but their behaviors / rights do not set the tone for our dining experience. I would have no problem asking the waiter to bring us our menus and food in a timely manner. I am sorry if this creates extra work for the waiter but that's not my problem. We come to dinner expecting that it will take about one and a half hours and we plan our evening accordingly. We are not about to change

our evening plans because of other peoples behaviors. Sorry if that sounds rude to some but we all equals at the cruise dining table and no one persons personal dining preferences trumps another persons rights.

 

Agree. Many times someone will say at the beginning of the meal that they plan to catch a show....which lets everyone know to expect that couple not to linger over a meal. I don't think too many people will find it rude that they will be leaving before everyone at the table is done...or that they, in turn, aren't expecting the others to rush through the meal nor expect them to skip courses.

 

There's been tablemates that might order more than one of a course. I often will skip a course especially if none of the items strikes my fancy. Some people will even ask for an entree-sized appetizer in lieu of the listed entrees. But I've never heard of anyone ask for the dinner menu back so they can order more from it. It's their business if they want to stuff themselves this way -- I want to move on to the dessert myself. And if I get hungry later on, I can go to the buffet or the International Cafe on Princess.

On a 16 night TA cruise my mom and I were seated with two other couples. The first night one of the ladies gave a standing order to the waiter that the coffee was not to be served until dessert was completely finished. Now my mom would normally be expecting a cup of coffee as soon as the main course dishes were cleared, no later than when the dessert menus were brought to us. Complicating the matter was that the cruise started under Code Red meaning that the coffee pots, creamer and sugar could not even be stored at the wait station next to our table; our waiter would have had to make a separate trip to the kitchen each time someone wanted a cup.

 

I don't if my mom or another person at the table said something, but when the Code Red was finally lifted on day 7 our waiters seemed to be able to read our minds and served not just the coffee but any other of our preferred accompaniments exactly when we expected them as if he could read our minds. That is how it should have been solved, with the waiter sensing a passenger's discomfort and offering a remedy before being asked. No I don't expect every waiter to be perfect or a mind reader, so if he remained oblivious to the fact that all six at the table did not equally participate in such gluttony a conversation with the head waiter should have occurred. Either way simple issues like this should be solvable without necessarily changing tables (and in my example I'm very glad we didn't) but requesting said change may be easier as it requires no explanation.

 

Now that's presumptuous on the part of those diners. I'm not a coffee drinker but would feel if someone is making such an order to the waitstaff, the assumption shouldn't be that it applies to everyone there. It'll be akin to telling the waiter not to bother offering wine to the table just because they're not interested in it. A better way for them to make their request would be to indicate to the waiter that she, and the three others will wait until after the meal to have their coffee, but make sure it's clear that the third couple aren't included in that order (and it might actually be that one of her friends would rather have coffee earlier too).

 

Knowing me, I would have let the waiter know (in front of this woman) that we would like (whatever).

[Dayenu]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

I would tell the waiter at the beginning of dinner that I want to be at a certain activity (show) at a certain time, and I want to finish my dinner early. And I would keep saying it every day. Thankfully, this was never needed :)

[Keith1010]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

Something similar to us happened on a cruise. We sat with two other couples. One of the wives would order two to three appetizers each night and on top of that would eat very slow. It really dragged out the meal. With around six nights to go on the cruise she had steak tartar one night and just watching her eat it so very slowly was bothersome. At the end of the meal the other couple spoke with us as they were leaving and said they really enjoyed our company but they were through at the table because they could not handle all of this as the wait staff would not serve us entrees until she had eaten each of her appetizers. Somehow we made it through this but a few cruises later for a variety of reasons including this one my wife and I evolved to a table for two which we prefer.

 

Keith

[Dancer Bob]

Go to the maitre d'.

a) Is another table available?

b) if not, ask for the waiter to take your orders- the extra work for the waiter is a service issue he should be aware of.

[moniquet]

I believe in being polite and friendly but a 7 day cruise is too short to have to endure other people's different ways. We now prefer a table for two, they are close enough if someone wants to chat but separate for orders.

[bplazo]

We had tablemates one time that would ask to see the next night's dinner menu and then ask them to make them something that was not on the menu. They were very obnoxious.

[sparks1093]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

No way would I sit at the table waiting for them to finish. I would either ask for the dessert menu or excuse myself and head to the buffet to grab dessert.

[NLH Arizona]

Knowing me' date=' I would have let the waiter know (in front of this woman) that [b']we[/b] would like (whatever).

I would be doing the same. A simple, that is how X likes her coffee, but I'll let you know when I would like mine.

[NMLady]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

I would have also asked for a dessert when the couples got a menu for their second dinner and excused myself early.

Actually, under those circumstances, after the first dinner I probably would have asked the maitre d' to assign me to another table.