Another rude dining room question

[Host Jacquelyn]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

[screwsmcernst]

I probably would have asked for a dessert menu, and then politely excuse myself after I was finished. I don't think you are required to remain if the table mates are going to "Re-order."

[BeagleOne]

I'd have asked for a dessert menu as soon as I was finished with my main course. Why on earth would someone just sit there?

[Host Jacquelyn]

 

Who eats that much food??

 

That's funny, we actually met the couples separately and they were a pretty fit bunch. Since it was a port intensive itinerary I can only assume they skipped lunch and we're ravenous at dinner. But still, glad to hear that I am not alone in thinking it is appropriate to ask for the dessert menu in such a scenario

[spookwife]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

 

Ouch. the other 2 couples were the rude ones. on the second night I probably would have gotten up and left without dessert. otherwise the poor waitstaff would have been in a bind

 

or maybe just asked to be reassigned to a different table.

[SuiteTraveler]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

After the first time this happened, I would have asked the Maitre'd to change our table and left the two couples to their own devices.

[Julie MacCoy]

Ouch. the other 2 couples were the rude ones.

What did they do that was so rude? Yes, they ordered a lot of food, but the cruiseline allows it, so why is it rude to do what the cruiseline allows you to do? I don't recall ever reading a notice on a MDR menu that you have to check first with the other people sitting at your table to see if it is okay to order a lot of food.

 

In fact, that's why my traveling companion and I always ask for Select/As You Wish Dining and a table for two, so that we can eat relatively quickly and leave the MDR in time for the shows. Even though we have no desire to be delayed by big eaters, we would not call them rude just because they chose to eat more than we do. They have just as much right to eat a lot of food as we have the right to eat relatively quickly.

[sail7seas]

I would have asked for a table change.

 

I would have made up some odd story so as to try and not hurt those tablemates' feelings but I would not have spend my whole cruise waiting for them to consume so much food each evening.

 

[Treven]

I'd have asked for a dessert menu as soon as I was finished with my main course. Why on earth would someone just sit there?

I would have as well. There's no way in hell I'd sit there for an hour twiddling my thumbs!

 

I also would have requested a new table, or eaten the rest of my dinners in the buffet.

Edited November 17, 2015 by Treven

[luddite]

Go Freestyle and find new dinner companions.

[Shorex]

I am so sad when another woman is paralyzed by the fear of being seen as "rude". How is it "rude" to graciously ask the waiter to bring the dessert menu when you are ready for dessert? How it is "rude" to finish a meal, excuse yourselves from the table explaining how much you enjoy the company of your table mates but it's time to (see the show, go dancing, whatever)?

 

Anyone who endures an extra hour at dinner for "fear" of being offensive is, sadly, a doormat.

[OCruisers]

That's one reason we prefer Anytime Dining.

 

Even so, we would have either excused ourselves when we were finished dinner or ask for the dessert menu if we wanted dessert.

 

No need to make excuses in Anytime about why we would not be having dinner with them again. :D

 

LuLu

[Cruisin' Chick]

I am so sad when another woman is paralyzed by the fear of being seen as "rude". How is it "rude" to graciously ask the waiter to bring the dessert menu when you are ready for dessert? How it is "rude" to finish a meal, excuse yourselves from the table explaining how much you enjoy the company of your table mates but it's time to (see the show, go dancing, whatever)?

 

Anyone who endures an extra hour at dinner for "fear" of being offensive is, sadly, a doormat.

 

If a passenger had explained to me this happened to him/her, I would have suggested that it's quite all right to request the dessert menu from the waiter. If the waiter had refused, the next step would be to talk with the head waiter. I'm guessing that maybe the waiter just didn't realize that this poor woman was being kept waiting. Maybe if the waiter did give her the dessert menu, the other people would be fine with that; if not, they're pretty selfish, IMO. If she'd felt self-conscious about this, she could excuse herself from the table, find the waiter and explain why she was leaving (in which case, I imagine the waiter would immediately say please return and you can order dessert right away). Else she could leave and go to the buffet for dessert.

 

Part of having manners is not making others feel uncomfortable, but definitely in her case, it was the others who were showing poor manners. When they were ordering extra food and not seeing she was doing so, they should have graciously told the waiter to bring the dessert menu to the woman so that she wouldn't be just sitting there.

Edited November 17, 2015 by Cruisin' Chick

[sfaaa]

Join in and pig out just like them. May as well get your money worth on AYCE appetizers.

[spookwife]

What did they do that was so rude? Yes, they ordered a lot of food, but the cruiseline allows it, so why is it rude to do what the cruiseline allows you to do? I don't recall ever reading a notice on a MDR menu that you have to check first with the other people sitting at your table to see if it is okay to order a lot of food.

 

 

 

In fact, that's why my traveling companion and I always ask for Select/As You Wish Dining and a table for two, so that we can eat relatively quickly and leave the MDR in time for the shows. Even though we have no desire to be delayed by big eaters, we would not call them rude just because they chose to eat more than we do. They have just as much right to eat a lot of food as we have the right to eat relatively quickly.

 

 

They went back and ordered previous courses again. That alone is rude to the staff let alone other table mates. The staff asks you to order every choice you want per course at once. NOT go back and ask for another shrimp cocktail after the entree is served. The kitchen is trying to set desert prep. They don't need to be scrambling around for a course that was served 45 minutes ago.

 

It's not the amount. It's the fact that they backtracked as well as held up service for the other couple since staff waits until everyone has finished a course before offering the next one.

[navybankerteacher]

After the first time this happened, I would have asked the Maitre'd to change our table and left the two couples to their own devices.

 

The simplest, and most obvious, remedy.

[LHT28]

I would have asked for a different table the next night

 

I prefer open dining..you rarely get the same dinner companions twice ;)

[fishywood]

On a 16 night TA cruise my mom and I were seated with two other couples. The first night one of the ladies gave a standing order to the waiter that the coffee was not to be served until dessert was completely finished. Now my mom would normally be expecting a cup of coffee as soon as the main course dishes were cleared, no later than when the dessert menus were brought to us. Complicating the matter was that the cruise started under Code Red meaning that the coffee pots, creamer and sugar could not even be stored at the wait station next to our table; our waiter would have had to make a separate trip to the kitchen each time someone wanted a cup.

 

I don't if my mom or another person at the table said something, but when the Code Red was finally lifted on day 7 our waiters seemed to be able to read our minds and served not just the coffee but any other of our preferred accompaniments exactly when we expected them as if he could read our minds. That is how it should have been solved, with the waiter sensing a passenger's discomfort and offering a remedy before being asked. No I don't expect every waiter to be perfect or a mind reader, so if he remained oblivious to the fact that all six at the table did not equally participate in such gluttony a conversation with the head waiter should have occurred. Either way simple issues like this should be solvable without necessarily changing tables (and in my example I'm very glad we didn't) but requesting said change may be easier as it requires no explanation.

Edited November 17, 2015 by fishywood

[tingyyy]

This is partly why I've always asked for a table for 2, and will continue to do so. Too many social 'rules' to consider when dining with near-strangers. I just want to enjoy my food and time alone with DBF!

 

But back to the question, I'd have asked for a dessert menu too.

[moniquet]

I recently posted about a couple who shared a table for 4 with us. Not as extreme but they had 4 or 5 appetisers to share plus a couple of main courses each. No conversation, totally absorbed by the food. We endured two evenings before moving.

 

A few days later there was a BBQ on the pool deck and we saw them both with platefuls of steak. Later we saw them come into the dining room for dinner:eek:

[Krazy Kruizers]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

 

I would ask to be moved to another table.

The first night you witness something like that gives you an indication of what to expect the rest of the cruise.

Some people think that just because it is "free", they need to eat all they can. Technically all the food they are eating has been paid for in their cruise fare.

I doubt if they eat like that at home.

[Davebhoy]

The current thread about rude dinner mates got me thinking about something on a previous cruise.

 

I met a woman at Windjammer who told me that her and her husband were seated with 2 couples traveling together. Each evening, the other couples would order at least 3 appetizers each (soup / salad / appetizer) and then after dinner, they would ask to review the menu once more and order additional appetizers or main entrees.

 

The woman said that the waiter never offered her a dessert menu until the other couple was done all their courses, and she felt as if it would be rude to ask. So, her and her husband sat at the dinner table each night for an additional 45-60 mins. I told her that I would have asked for a dessert menu and excused myself early, but she said she could not bring herself to do that.

 

What would you do in such a scenario?

 

While I don't see anything particularly wrong with the folk ordering more appetizers at the end of the meal, its not something I'd do myself and if I was looking to order dessert, I'd have asked for the menus from the waiter.

 

I can understand the waiter hanging back, as he'd be unsure whether the table were eating as a group or not but I'm sure they'd have been quite happy to serve the folk who were ready. Same with anyone who fancies a coffee after mains (I wait till post-dessert) - I'm sure they'd be happy to accommodate you if they know its what you want to do.

[Markanddonna]

I would only stay at this table if I REALLY enjoyed the folks who ordered several extra options. If I stayed, I would make sure that the waiter knew he was welcome to bring the dessert menu WITH the main course menu so that I could order and keep my meal moving along.

 

We were once seated with a very fit younger couple who order extras at each course. This was overwhelming for our team of waiters who were not strong and organized enough to handle the extra requests. We sometimes were the last in the dining room with them shooing us out. It wasn't a good experience.

[sgb]

I would definitely asked to be moved, no way would I sit in the dining room an extra 45 minutes, maybe 10 minutes extra but not 45. I'm not that interested in watching people eat, so for me I would finish my meal and excuse myself from the table leaving them there to enjoy their meal(s).

[Warm Breezes]

We do anytime so this would not be a problem for us. Having said that in this scenario I would ask for the desert menu when they asked for the main menus back and then politely excused myself when we were done. It's not like they would be left alone at the table sense they were 2 couples traveling together.