Don't Trust Family Members

[S.S.Oceanlover]

No one is getting scammed. She's related to these people.

 

so you are saying that if you are related to someone they can't scam you?:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

 

 

Bill

[Siora7777]

so you are saying that if you are related to someone they can't scam you?:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

 

 

Bill

 

What I'm saying Bill, is that when you are related to people you generally know a little about them and their financial situation. My point is that relationships are more valuable then money. You can do whatever you want with that. That's my personal opinion. I was just in this same situation this past April. I let it go and had a great time anyway. This is just my personal choice. You are free to do whatever you want. I'm not telling you what to do, just what I would do. Is that okay?

[April42749]

What I'm saying Bill, is that when you are related to people you generally know a little about them and their financial situation. My point is that relationships are more valuable then money. You can do whatever you want with that. That's my personal opinion. I was just in this same situation this past April. I let it go and had a great time anyway. This is just my personal choice. You are free to do whatever you want. I'm not telling you what to do, just what I would do. Is that okay?

 

Agree with you.

 

It seems granny knew their situation beforehand and certainly knows it now; if anything, granny scammed OP. (I have my own idea about what happened.)

 

We don't know OP, or granny, or the grand-aunt/uncle. We don't know who invited who to join.

 

Next time she should just get her own cabin (I've been trying to figure out why anyone would want to share a cabin with grandmother/grandaunt/granduncle anyway) and let everyone else book and pay for themselves.

[firemanbobswife]

Family can be WORSE than strangers yet some think it's acceptable to let themselves or others be taken advantage of just because they are related. I call BS! There are family members who I wish weren't and friends that are closer to me than kin. Just because someone shares an ancestor or two doesn't make them any different when it comes to how they treat people or how you should expect to be treated. Respect is earned on a case by case basis. It doesn't matter who you are!

[Doggielover68]

Family can be WORSE than strangers yet some think it's acceptable to let themselves or others be taken advantage of just because they are related. I call BS! There are family members who I wish weren't and friends that are closer to me than kin. Just because someone shares an ancestor or two doesn't make them any different when it comes to how they treat people or how you should expect to be treated. Respect is earned on a case by case basis. It doesn't matter who you are!

 

 

Perfect response. Couldn't agree more

 

 

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[kc58ab]

Forgiveness has never been my strong suit, but there is no doubt it is best for you to forgive. Easier said then done. You can be scammed by family. Often easier than a stanger bc they can use your love for them. I would and have let it go before, but when it becomes reoccurring that is were it ends. Someone family or friend that values your relationship that is worth retaining won't continue to take advantage of you.

[kat2009]

You already know you can't get your money back day of departure. If grandma wasn't cooperating, I would have cancelled the whole trip! However, with the Auntie, I would have killed her with kindness - "I'm sooo sorry you and Uncle aren't able to go on this cruise. You know the cut-off day for funds was yesterday, right? Maybe next time."

You know their maxed out credit cards won't cover the charges, right?

[Krissfon]

I never loan/front money for almost anyone. I gift it, it just works better that way mentally for me. I'm not well off but better off than many I know or am related to. I'd rather buy groceries/diapers than trust they'll use money responsibly. Here is my 2 cents: it sounds like you've made up your mind about showing up for the cruise expecting people who lied to you to be ready to pay you back the cost of the cruise plus have money to apply to their spending account. Change your expectations of them, they've shown you who they are. If you are intent on doing this trip for your GM and her sister then have cash in your hand to put on their account and know you will never see the money repaid. It is now a gift for all involved especially GM. She lives with them and knew at least some of their money situation and allowed it to happen anyway and even if she didn't once she found out she still insisted it continue on your dime. I hope you can enjoy your trip.

 

 

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[2CatsInFlorida]

We couldn't enjoy the cruise if we shared a cabin with relatives who scammed us. We would cancel them.

 

 

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[sfaaa]

You already know you can't get your money back day of departure. If grandma wasn't cooperating, I would have cancelled the whole trip! ?

 

Best advice yet. I would have done it on the spot without hesitation. If the two scammers want to inflict misery on others, they may as well share the disappointment and see their free cruise goes up in smoke.

[repo-cruiser]

Not necessarily cheap, probably just doesn't want the clutter. Our family stopped gift giving years ago. Lots less stress.

 

Really? I find giving at Christmas a wonderful thing and don't find it stressful, I find it joyful. Did you also quit giving tips as you find it stressful?:(

[nursepixie]

Now, wait a minute. A relative can certainly scam a family member. Happens all the time. It's what the family person getting scammed does with that makes the difference. Sounds like you would just brush it off. Not everyone is so forgiving (or gullible?).

 

 

 

Gullible....I think that's the right word.

 

 

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[CruiseGal999]

I don't know what the OP was expecting or wanting from her post/question. Majority here says ..... DUMP the family scammers. BUT she says she is going ahead as is and hopes to get the $$ on sailing day. Again, majority here have given their personal experiences/insights to how that is NOT going to happen.

Scarlet, my dear .... I don't give a damn!

[April42749]

I don't know what the OP was expecting or wanting from her post/question. Majority here says ..... DUMP the family scammers. BUT she says she is going ahead as is and hopes to get the $$ on sailing day. Again, majority here have given their personal experiences/insights to how that is NOT going to happen.

Scarlet, my dear .... I don't give a damn!

 

She was venting. Where better to vent than with a group of total strangers, none of whom give a damn.

[nursepixie]

I don't know what the OP was expecting or wanting from her post/question

 

 

I'm gonna guess that the answer to this would be.... Attention. Which is just what she got. [emoji12]

 

 

 

 

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[Doggielover68]

Really? I find giving at Christmas a wonderful thing and don't find it stressful, I find it joyful. Did you also quit giving tips as you find it stressful?:(

 

 

My family doesn't exchange gifts either. My husband and I don't even exchange gifts anymore. If we want something, we buy it. Instead of trying to find something that the other person may or may not want, we apply that money toward extra vacations. Experiences are far more valuable to me than material objects.

 

 

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[Drazil65]

Family can be WORSE than strangers yet some think it's acceptable to let themselves or others be taken advantage of just because they are related. I call BS! There are family members who I wish weren't and friends that are closer to me than kin. Just because someone shares an ancestor or two doesn't make them any different when it comes to how they treat people or how you should expect to be treated. Respect is earned on a case by case basis. It doesn't matter who you are!

Amen to this!!!!! Relatives do not get a pass just because of the blood thing...the best thing to do is NOT to lend money period...give it if that is what you feel compelled to do but never lend...creates a different dynamic between the lender and the taker and things will never be the same again...

[iuki]

When we traveled with family members, I told them to make their own reservations, and I would give them my reservation number and tell them to tell the agent that they are traveling with us. Instead of sharing rooms, stay in separate rooms.

To the OP, tell your relatives that you can't afford the suite and that you and your grandmother will be staying in a regular cabin and that you recommend they do the same. Let them deal with their own reservation.

[perditax]

I haven't spoken to a family member in over 35 years because of this specific deadbeat and conniving way of controlling people. Nothing bitter about it.....in my mind I just don't have a brother that a birth certificate says I have. If you don't mind deadbeats controlling you, that's fine but I refuse to live my life that way. Don't call me bitter because of it because I simply don't think about him.

 

I do agree I would do almost anything to be able to do something with someone who is gone that I actually cared about but losing the deadbeat in my family will be just like some unknown person in Finland passing. I won't know nor will I care.

 

 

Yeah, it's clear some people here are lucky enough not to have family ties to people who really don't deserve the word 'family'. It doesn't make the rest of us bitter--just unlucky.

 

(Also have a deadbeat brother, and he and his deadbeat wife are currently living off my mom's tiny disability income, and there's nothing I can do about it because she allows it to go on.)

[SadieN]

Really? I find giving at Christmas a wonderful thing and don't find it stressful, I find it joyful. Did you also quit giving tips as you find it stressful?:(

 

 

 

Wow, you're 'interesting'.

[Granny1]

Will be anxiously waiting to hear the outcome of this one. I have had this done to me in the past, so have learned from these mistakes and don't repeat them anymore. I wish for them a safe and relaxing cruise regardless.:D

[fuzzy12]

I'm sure it made grandma happy to cruise with her family, and isn't her happiness better than cancelling and letting the corporation keep your money just to make a point? If they don't pay you back, just remember: for every single Christmas and every single birthday from now on, their gift is this cruise. And even if it's 2020, make sure to write about their 2017 cruise in the card

 

 

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[jdemps]

Yeah I have never been gone through that on a cruise. I say we are going on this cruise. This is our room number. Book it yourself. I will never upgrade myself to allow space for others. I always get let down.

 

Exactly! Book what you want and send the itinerary out to others that you want to invite. They book their own room, have their own expense account, or they don't go. It's pretty simple and we have never had any issues with cabins getting linked together or being able to have dinner together. You lose what little OBC they give you for group but I don't care about that.

 

I would also cancel them because it's gonna be eating at you the whole cruise! Better to recover some cash and learn your lesson than allow them to take advantage of you.

[Loonbeam]

I'm of the cancel and take the hit ($300 back is probably better than the $0 you will eventually likely get). I would not want to share the cabin, the very definition of awkward. And I can see them trying to put stuff on your bill, etc.

 

Plus, if you do take them, they learn nothing and are emboldened to try this again.

[georgiacruizer]

I was just wondering if there were any new developments with the non-paying relatives. Does anyone know if her Victory cruise was cancelled or rescheduled?