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Petoonya

Anxiety prior to long cruises

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Posted (edited)

Anyone get the crazies before a cruise? I never even know exactly what it is that bothers me in the last several days before a cruise. Generally we take long ones 21 days or more and are leaving a houseful of pets, two big dogs and four cats. So there is always some worry with that. Will the housesitter show up, will she be good to them, will they be anxious without us. Then there's the "OMG we're going to be sooooo far from home". We usually cruise a minimum of 3000 miles from home- mostly 10,000. I wouldn't cruise if it was shorter than 14 days- it's not enough time.

 

But more than anything there's just the heart pounding generalized anxiety about things I can't put my finger on. Once I'm in the car and on the way to the airport, everything is fine again- all the stuff is out of sight out of mind. I ALWAYS am up for a cruise and eagerly plan the next one. But the older I get, I'm 67, the worse this pre-cruise, last week anxiety thing gets. Never experienced this cruising when in my 50's. I think of my mother and how in her older years she couldn't stand to be away from home and worry I'm starting to get like that. I LOVE to travel.Once I'm gone I have a blast. It's just that week before that drives me nuts.

 

Please don't poke fun. I'm serious and want to continue cruising as long as I can. This is terribly uncomfortable.

Edited by Petoonya

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5 minutes ago, Petoonya said:

Anyone get the crazies before a cruise? I never even know exactly what it is that bothers me in the last several days before a cruise. Generally we take long ones 21 days or more and are leaving a houseful of pets, two big dogs and four cats. So there is always some worry with that. Will the housesitter show up, will she be good to them, will they be anxious without us. Then there's the "OMG we're going to be sooooo far from home". We usually cruise a minimum of 3000 miles from home- mostly 10,000. I wouldn't cruise if it was shorter than 14 days- it's not enough time.

 

But more than anything there's just the heart pounding generalized anxiety about things I can't put my finger on. Once I'm in the car and on the way to the airport, everything is fine again- all the stuff is out of sight out of mind. I ALWAYS am up for a cruise and eagerly plan the next one. But the older I get, I'm 67, the worse this pre-cruise, last week anxiety thing gets. Never experienced this cruising when in my 50's. I think of my mother and how in her older years she couldn't stand to be away from home and worry I'm starting to get like that. I LOVE to travel.Once I'm gone I have a blast. It's just that week before that drives me nuts.

 

Please don't poke fun. I'm serious and want to continue cruising as long as I can. This is terribly uncomfortable.

With all seriousness, I'd talk to my physician about getting some CBD gummy-type chewables.  I see you live in Oregon so you likely know that the CBD won't make you high but may relax you just enough.  PS:  We used to live in Grants Pass and still adore the OR Coast.  Where do you live?

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9 minutes ago, Petoonya said:

But more than anything there's just the heart pounding generalized anxiety about things I can't put my finger on. Once I'm in the car and on the way to the airport, everything is fine again- all the stuff is out of sight out of mind.

 

Oh lucky you!  My "travel anxiety" doesn't quit until I am on the ship.   Then I just have the normal anxiety I live with all the time, that recedes, then escalates, then recedes ... repeat repeat repeat.  Breathing exercises help, the "five things to do when you are anxious" helps.  But for me, it helps, but doesn't stop it.

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I forgot to mention that we also have the petsitter anxiety.  My avatar is our latest, Hairy Red Dog.  Because of our travels, we had said 'no more' when we had to put down our last girl almost two years ago.  We made it almost a year.  So that's the first thing I have to take care of.  So I feel your pain.  One thing that we've been doing for some years now is to cover the dining table with a cloth and use that as our "staging area."  It helps me to see all the stuff.  And we have a "travel box" that stays full of all sorts of things, i.e, converters, adapters, travel pillow and on and on.  Stuff that we only use when traveling, whether by car or airplane.  Just some more thoughts.

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We are lucky to have a close friend who watches our dogs at this place when we are out of town.  We know they are comfortable and in good hands.  

 

In general I don't think it unusual to be anxious about things that need to be done before leaving on a long trip.  Funny as how we get older we might worry about things that didn't even cross our minds when we were younger.  In our younger days, Mrs Ldubs and I would head out on trips with very little planning.   So, maybe a little worry is a sign of maturity!  At least, that is going to be my claim!  

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Do you know what I find that helps?  Making lists and checking things off.  When I can see I've done something, it makes me feel better, as there is less to do before we leave.  Maybe that will work for you as well.    I'd like to leave you with a mantra I've lived by for many years:  If it isn't earth shattering or life changing, it isn't worth worrying over.

 

Smooth Sailing!  🙂🙂🙂

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19 minutes ago, ger_77 said:

Do you know what I find that helps?  Making lists and checking things off.  When I can see I've done something, it makes me feel better, as there is less to do before we leave.  Maybe that will work for you as well.    I'd like to leave you with a mantra I've lived by for many years:  If it isn't earth shattering or life changing, it isn't worth worrying over.

 

Smooth Sailing!  🙂🙂🙂

I like this idea far better than the "ask your doctor for a pill" option.

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54 minutes ago, CruiserBruce said:

I like this idea far better than the "ask your doctor for a pill" option.

I didn't see anyone suggest that but maybe I missed something.

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35 minutes ago, clo said:

I didn't see anyone suggest that but maybe I missed something.

The CBD posts...

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7 minutes ago, CruiserBruce said:

The CBD posts...

Er, I see you live in NorCal  but are you not familiar with CBD gummies and the like.  Even Amazon carries them.  And no THC.  They even have dog treats.  If there's anything any safer I can't imagine.  It doesn't work for everything or everybody but it's an easy try.  AND totally legal to fly with them unlike THC products.

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1 minute ago, clo said:

Er, I see you live in NorCal  but are you not familiar with CBD gummies and the like.  Even Amazon carries them.  And no THC.  They even have dog treats.  If there's anything any safer I can't imagine.  It doesn't work for everything or everybody but it's an easy try.  AND totally legal to fly with them unlike THC products.

It is still the concept "if you have a problem, take something". The form of the substance is not what I am talking about, it is that philosophy. 

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1 minute ago, CruiserBruce said:

It is still the concept "if you have a problem, take something". The form of the substance is not what I am talking about, it is that philosophy. 

So don't have a glass of milk to settle your stomach perhaps.  Or have a bowl of soup.

 

" Making lists and checking things off."

 

I've finally mostly gotten over it but making lists used to give me anxiety.

 

I have an injured probably chronically back.  I don't hesitate to take ibuprofen.

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21 hours ago, clo said:

I forgot to mention that we also have the petsitter anxiety.  My avatar is our latest, Hairy Red Dog.  Because of our travels, we had said 'no more' when we had to put down our last girl almost two years ago.  We made it almost a year.  So that's the first thing I have to take care of.  So I feel your pain.  One thing that we've been doing for some years now is to cover the dining table with a cloth and use that as our "staging area."  It helps me to see all the stuff.  And we have a "travel box" that stays full of all sorts of things, i.e, converters, adapters, travel pillow and on and on.  Stuff that we only use when traveling, whether by car or airplane.  Just some more thoughts.

Here's our travel box.  We do road trips also so have things for eating in motels rooms.  Save a ton of money that way.

20190620_093236 - Edited.jpg

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19 hours ago, CruiserBruce said:

It is still the concept "if you have a problem, take something". The form of the substance is not what I am talking about, it is that philosophy. 

 

The philosophy?  That people who suffer from mental or physical illness should abandon whatever solutions are available to help them?    I don't want to cause thread drift, but  I need to say I disagree strongly with your comment and the kind of thinking it epitomizes 😞 

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I'm a worrier by nature.  In all honesty, I don't know that I'd ever want to be away from home for more than 2 weeks because of the same type of anxiety you experience.  Once my husband retires and we are free to take longer trips, I wonder if I'd be able to stand a vacation that long.

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A quote from Mark Twain.  "

 

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones that you did.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbour.  Catch the trade winds in your sail.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover"

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Posted (edited)

I too have more personal anxiety before an extended trip now that I’m mid 60’s.  We purchase trip insurance and have MedJet Assist -  a placebo perhaps, but it gives me the illusion of control and is a helpful stress reliever.   Next challenge - finding a reliable pet sitter, since we’ve inherited moms lovely but skittish kitty.  

Edited by LoriPhil

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I do get a bit of anxiety over certain situations as I’ve gotten older. Driving, being one of them. So many wackadoo drivers on the road. As far as travel, most of my cruises are usually 20+ days, and if it’s a far off location, I tend to string a few together. Last year Baltics/TA was a rough one, because my daughter texted me that my 14yo pup was not doing well. So I had that on my mind pretty much the whole cruise. I did make it home, and he held on for another 2 months before I knew it was time to let him go. This year will be the first year that I won’t feel the stress of having to leave my dog. The initial travel day is usually the worst.

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Unfortunately, anytime an airport is involved there is going to be stress. Part of it is will everything go right and be Ion time. Part of it is dealing with security. And part is the airlines have seemed to do everything they can to make flying stressful and uncomfortable.

 

And for those who bemoan their lack of control when they use a TA, what kind of control do you feel you have when you are seated in a flying jet plane?

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10 hours ago, ontheweb said:

Unfortunately, anytime an airport is involved there is going to be stress. Part of it is will everything go right and be Ion time. Part of it is dealing with security. And part is the airlines have seemed to do everything they can to make flying stressful and uncomfortable.

 

And for those who bemoan their lack of control when they use a TA, what kind of control do you feel you have when you are seated in a flying jet plane?

One way to reduce stress is to always arrive the day before embarking.

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6 hours ago, clo said:

One way to reduce stress is to always arrive the day before embarking.

That may eliminate one source of stress, but it still does not deal with all the others. There is still dealing with security and just about everything else about modern air travel that seems designed to make it stressful and uncomfortable.

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7 hours ago, clo said:

One way to reduce stress is to always arrive the day before embarking.

 

Eh; we always fly in at least the day before and I still get some pre-travel stress. Usually the nights leading up to a trip I dream about oversleeping and missing our flight. On the way to the airport I spend most of the ride checking that I have my passport and driver’s license. And I don’t really relax until we are on the ship and no catastrophe has occurred or some huge mistake where we were booked on the wrong date or went to the wrong port. Now what’s nice is that consciously I realize that all those stresses are irrational. Flying in the day of would add a whole new level of very real and rational stress. But flying in the day before doesn’t help with the irrational stress.

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I too have myself getting a little "worried" before a long cruise.  Or any long trip.  And it has gotten worse as I get older (age 71).

But I agree with making lists and checking the items off.  In January we will go on a ww cruise, for 112 days.  We need visas, meds for more than 3 months, mail issues, etc.

We don't have pets, so that's not an issue.

Just remember this; you are getting older and there are just so many years you will be able to travel comfortably.  We have friends who talked for years about going to Israel.  Now he has health issues and can't go.  

Don't wait

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2 hours ago, sanger727 said:

those stresses are irrational.

I've said forever that we all have irrational fears.  Leave me along 🙂

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