Mustering Up the Courage...

... To book (and pay for)- my first long vacation as a solo.

As some of you may know, I lost one of my travel partners a year ago. Six months prior to my mom's death, we were to travel from Charlotte to Singapore for a cruise to Indonesia in January of 2015. Unfortunately, she fell and broke her hip in October of '14. The evening before we were to leave for Singapore- we received the Mack-daddy of all Move-over offers- and we took it. In truth, I was really worried about that 23 hour flight with her newly healed hip.

While we went on to enjoy two more cruises before her death in July of 15, we had always felt this Singapore/ Indonesia trip was unfinished business.

As I approach the 1 year anniversery of her death (July 24), I am feeling compelled to complete this trip- It is hard to explain, but there is something about the taking this trip that feels like I am honoring my mom.

So here are my pro's and con's.

Pro's-

I think this will close a loop in the grieving process.

Singapore is my second favorite city in the World.

The cruise looks like a great mixture of port days and sea days.

I will get to see the Petronius Towers in Kuala Lumpur.

I will get to go to Bali.

I will have the opportunity to "take my mom with me".

It is a stunning vacation.

The cruise is affordable- if I book an inside.

I am Elite- so I can avail myself of some of the benefits.

I am very happy in my own company.

I know that I can manage long haul flights, because I have done many in the past.

I firmly believe that every year I should do something that scares the mess out of me. This qualifies. ;)

Con's:

It is really expensive.

It is long, long flights.

I worry that with a 17 day vacation- I might get a little lonely (just putting it out there).

The roll call for the cruise is not only dead, it is in rigor mortis.

Unless there is a price drop (and there is 6 months)- I will probably not be able to afford a cabin with "natural light".

The best plane ticket I am willing to afford on Singapore Air is for premium economy.

I am a natural introvert- and it may be challenging to connect with people.

I will miss my husband and my dogs.

And there you have it... I think I am looking for other's experiences (and maybe a bit of encouragement).

Open to opinions!

Thank you so much friends-

Tracie-Lynn:):)

Did you notice that your list of "pros" is longer than your list of "cons"? Which may be your subconscious telling you to go for it. Your Mom will be with you every step of the way and still sharing the journey and adventure with you and maybe you will be able to fill the empty spot in your heart that her passing left by completing this journey you were going to share with each other.

Wishing you all the best,

I say do it sister! :)

What ship?

When?

Have met really great pax on cruises that have dead or nonexistent roll calls.

The Soli board should have info for you.

Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app

I say do it sister! :)

 

 

What ship?

When?

Diamond- January 17. 2017

Your post made me think....

My wife and I cruise together and enjoy it, but if it was just me, would I go?

I think there are more of us natural introverts than there are extroverts. Oh, I can hold a conversation, as no doubt you can, but I could just see myself in your shoes and pretty much planning my day solo. That part is tough. We love to share new experiences with others - new places, new discoveries, new experiences. Being alone tends to make me "brood" a bit or at least become melancholy (at least it does for me). That said, I would still go. Tours are done in a group. Meals are done as a group (at least I would not choose to dine solo - I so enjoy a full table of company). But there will be time alone.... I think I could handle it and still enjoy the experience.

We only have 2 cruises under our belts, with a 3rd coming up in November, but we can only afford insides, so that is what we take, and are completely happy to have it. I really don't see this as a major negative. You can be deck-side in minutes and get all the light you desire.

I also dislike long flights - but hey - there is something invigorating about being at the airport ready for a new experience. Take the bad with the good. Go for it!

Don

Hi,

If your heart is telling you to go, then do it! I have traveled solo in Europe for as long as three weeks, and am looking forward to a 20 day solo cruise the end of October. I am generally a quiet person so I hear your concern about being lonely. But part of the joy of solo travel is the ability to gift yourself with solitude and then to join people again as you desire. Cruisers are so very gregarious and seem always willing to chat for a while when you need a “people fix.”

It sounds as if this has been a long-standing dream trip for you. If you are healthy, mobile and financially able to go, why risk missing this opportunity? No one knows what tomorrow or next year may bring. The real question may be how much would you regret not taking the cruise and then never getting to go later? Only you can decide what is right for you, but if you do go, I look forward to reading about your journey and adventures. Safe travel!

Hi Tracy,

We are in similar situations. Although my Mom is still alive, it's very difficult to do our favorite itineraries like we used to do. She is 91.

I think it will help you with the grieving process to do this cruise. As far as cruising solo on a long cruise, I booked 35 or 39 days on the Pacific a couple of weeks ago in a heart beat. (I did change it to a shorter version of summer solstice on Crown.)

I have a good friend who I met on a cruise and we cruise together all the time but I still like my solo cruises. Like you I am used to living and being by myself. Living and caring for my Mom has been a challenge and a solo cruise is a great way to decompress.

I usually have to book an inside room as prices have gone up so much, I can only afford an inside if I'm solo. Lack of daylight doesn't bother me and it can be an advantage especially on my summer solstice cruises.

There are cruises my Mom never got to do. I can do them solo and still share them with her. You can keep a diary and share them with your Mom.

Good luck with your decision.

Grief is a lifelong process...it just doesn't end...I know...I lost my husband six years ago and he's still the first thing I think of every morning and the last thing I think of every night....

But since he's passed away I've begun to travel more and more...cruise more and more...and we just finished our first Baltic cruise...which btw...was amazing.

And each and every single time I do travel I remember Matt and I smile and I think to myself "he would have loved this."

If you go, go for you...not for your sweet mamma and what would have been...go because that's what your heart is telling you to do. And when you do go...you'll think of her often...more with smiles than with tears.

Only you can make the decision for what is right for you. We can all give you our opinions but only YOU know what is in your heart. And your wallet for that matter...it's a long expensive trip!!!

You've got a fan club here kiddo. We all love your reviews! I am 100% positive you will meet someone and have an amazing trip. Even with your "man cold" on the Royal a few years ago you had a great time. You can do it again!

Regards,

Natalie

The cruise sounds like a wonderful adventure. If you ever talk to yourself (as I do), you will be sharing all the marvelous sights with your Mom.

Wishing you all the best, whatever your decision.

As solo fares are usually twice the double occupancy fare per person, is there not someone else that might be able to travel with you?

Honestly, I see only 1 con. Missing your dogs.

The rest you list:

It is really expensive--if you don't spend $ it has no value. You are giving worth to your money!

It is long, long flights--that's why there is entertainment on board.

I worry that with a 17 day vacation- I might get a little lonely (just putting it out there)--Not a worry, you said you are happy in your own company.

The roll call for the cruise is not only dead, it is in rigor mortis--most are, typically I just look to them in case there's a killer deal for a private tour.

Unless there is a price drop (and there is 6 months)- I will probably not be able to afford a cabin with "natural light"--that's why you only spend time in your cabin to sleep/shower!

The best plane ticket I am willing to afford on Singapore Air is for premium economy--So you got that out of the way, no worries!

I am a natural introvert- and it may be challenging to connect with people--no worries as you're comfy in your own company!

See, all signs point to DO IT!

BTW I am a notorious enabler and superb debater, so if you want me to spin it to NOT do it I can as well. ;)

If you'll allow me to be a bit poetic, almost all of your "Pros" are spiritual and your "Cons" are matters of inconvenience. Let the spirit rule the day. While there will be some discomfort (both physically and financially), often times our greatest days come when we stray from our comfort zone.

Go. You might later regret not doing it if you stay home. The missing of dogs...that I understand. :)

Tracie... Do it. You say it's "unfinished" and will always second guess yourself if you don't. Life is full of missed opportunities and speaking for myself, as you get older, you realize that some things are more important. Fulfilling dreams is one of them. Whether you do it in an inside or a full suite, the ship goes to the same ports with all the same passengers. :) Your husband, dog, family and friends will still love you when you return.

I have heard it said that as one nears the end of their life they regret the things they did not do much more than they regret the things that they did.

Go for it!

Obviously only you can decide but I vote for doing it. It is obviously something that is important to you and you may well regret it for the rest of your life if you don't do it.

If you are a needlework person there will almost certainly be a daily "Knitters and Natters" meeting in Crooners. You can go there and do whatever type of sewing, etc. that you do (my wife tends to take her tatting as it's small) and you can either just sit quietly doing your thing or talk with the others who show up. If you do something a bit unusual (like tatting) people will ask about it and start the conversation for you. Otherwise they will likely ask about your project and you may find that it's a great way to casually meet people with similar interests in a very low key fashion.

There are a lot of solo cruisers on these boards who may be able to offer advice. Of course some of them are likely more extroverted than you but their advice can still be valuable. Another good way to meet people is to eat in the main dining room for breakfast, lunch, and dinner or at least one of those daily. I don't know how to meet people but find that it seems to be easy in the dining rooms and most of them turn out to be really nice and sometimes very interesting. (Others only "think" they are very interesting but... :rolleyes:)

Take the plunge. Take the cruise.

Just do it. You will regret not taking it forever, you can always cut back on some other expenses for a little while. The memories you will create and the feeling that your Mom is with you will carry you thru. I always travel alone and like it but there is always someone to talk to if you feel like it.

Have you looked at an obstructed cabin? Lots of times those are only slightly more than an inside and there is a website that will help in selecting the least obstructed view. Sometimes just having some natural light is a huge difference. If you book an inside I recommend as far aft as possible on Aloha deck, you are only steps from the open aft pool deck. when you want to get outside for the view and some fresh air.

Go for it :)

I think you should go for it.

I've been cruising solo for a few years now. Sometimes I cruise with friends, but mostly I go solo. Honestly, I really like my solo cruises more. The first solo cruise I was a bit lonesome, but when I felt that I'd just get up and do something. I loved that you said you are really good with yourself. That's really the key to happy solo cruising in my opinion. Now, I love this time to myself.

For me, the only real issue, beyond the money decisions, is the long flight. I hate them. If can do the flight...go for it. I think it's clear that you really want to do this. If so, you should do it. You'll be happy you did.

I normally cruise with my daughter. However, when college "got in the way," I did at least 3 cruises on my own. 2 of those were 14 night trans-Atlantics.

Honestly, cost was the only negative. I did take a friend on the shortest of the cruises. For me, that was probably a mistake. My friend had never cruised before and I felt like I was being a "mother" to a 60 year old. She wouldn't even order food at dinner until I ordered, and then she'd select the same thing. Yes, I tried several times to explain how cruising worked, etc....bottom line, the only person I want to be a mother to is my daughter.

I would say "go for it." I'm rather introverted too, but I always meet nice people on a cruise....at sit down lunch or tea normally.

SO, if you have someone you'd like to invite who would eliminate the single supplement, consider that carefully. But I'd do the cruise in a heartbeat.

Honestly, I see only 1 con. Missing your dogs.

 

OMG - this is too funny! This is the only CON I noticed also :)

I recently returned from my 1st solo long cruise after my mom died last year. I spend 16 days cruising Japan on the Diamond Princess with 2 days in Osaka before the cruise.

Yes, it was far away but Japan will never get closer to US and I will get older ...

Yes, it was expensive but I was lucky and got upgraded from Inside to Balcony.

I loved Japan so I am planning another cruise to southern Japan and Taiwan next May.

I discovered that I really enjoyed traveling by myself. I booked excursions that appealed to me and decided which at which ports I like to do my own thing. If I wanted alone time, I hang out on my balcony and if I wanted to socialize, I hang out in the common areas.

Diamond only has Traditional dining so I had the same dinner companions for the 16 days. On several nights I brought food to my cabin so I could eat on the balcony and enjoy the sunset or passing scenery.

We had exceptionally nice weather so on sea days I usually grabbed a chair by the Terrace Pool in the back of the ship. The same people were there each time so we got to know each other.

It was a great cruise and I can't wait to do another one. If my job gets eliminated in September and I get my severance pay as expected, I am treating myself to the LA-Hawaii-Tahiti-LA 28 day cruise and I am going by myself again.

My advice would be to give it a try and see what happens. If you don't enjoy traveling solo, you don't have to do it again :)

I did post a review of my cruise.

I normally cruise with my daughter. However' date=' when college "got in the way," I did at least 3 cruises on my own. 2 of those were 14 night trans-Atlantics.

 

Honestly, cost was the only negative. I did take a friend on the shortest of the cruises. For me, that was probably a mistake. My friend had never cruised before and I felt like I was being a "mother" to a 60 year old. She wouldn't even order food at dinner until I ordered, and then she'd select the same thing. Yes, I tried several times to explain how cruising worked, etc....bottom line, the only person I want to be a mother to is my daughter.

 

I would say "go for it." I'm rather introverted too, but I always meet nice people on a cruise....at sit down lunch or tea normally.

 

SO, if you have someone you'd like to invite who would eliminate the single supplement, consider that carefully. But I'd do the cruise in a heartbeat.[/quote']

 

My Mom used to tell a very similar story. She took a long time friend along with her on a cruise and when she returned said the only alone time she had all week was when she went to the bathroom lol Mom said she couldn't get 20 feet away from her friend without her going crazy. She also had no clue about choosing her food etc. It was probably her first time travelling without her husband and she needed to be held by her hand and directed everywhere.

 

My Mom said she was still a dear friend but that she would never take a trip with her anywhere again lol

While I was reading what you wrote I got goose bumps.

To me that means this is a good thing and someone wants you to experience it.

You've got more pro's than con's in your replies from CC.

I think you know deep down what you want and need to do. Enjoy!! :)

... To book (and pay for)- my first long vacation as a solo.

 

 

While we went on to enjoy two more cruises before her death in July of 15, we had always felt this Singapore/ Indonesia trip was unfinished business.

 

As I approach the 1 year anniversery of her death (July 24), I am feeling compelled to complete this trip- It is hard to explain, but there is something about the taking this trip that feels like I am honoring my mom.

 

Dear Tracie Lynn,

 

The fact that you are considering it seriously is enough to tell me you SHOULD go. If in your heart you feel it honors your mother, which in my book is reason enough to go, then that is good for your heart too! I understand the concern over all the time you may spend alone... in that light, would your husband be able to go with you? Or if he can't go, what about a friend of relative who shares your love for your mother? That would reduce your cost and also give you some close time with that person, making new memories to savor.

Even if you were to go alone, there are lots of opportunities to meet new people and share experiences and make new friends to share with. You say you are comfortable by yourself... sometimes that alone is cathartic and necessary.

Above all, even though I don't know you, I think that the fact that you have given it a lot of thought and want to go in her memory is a definite "Yes" vote for the trip.

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Best of wishes making your decision. But, just so you know, I would go if I were you.

 

Cathy