Ever feel left out?

[Megalodon]

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they just don’t fit in with groups on cruises? Almost always it seems like the other people at my table or on excursions bond really well together enhancing their experience, while my wife and I are kind of left out. I make it a point to be friendly and outgoing when in group settings, but often I (we) am ignored like I am not even there. No one has ever been unkind to me/us, or rude in any way, just…dismissive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves, and mostly choose private tables and excursions to avoid that “outsider” feeling, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The times that we have been accepted by the people we are grouped with tend to be some of the most magical and memorable.

 

I try to embrace everyone’s differences and enjoy them for the people that they are. It’s what makes life so interesting.

[janabm81]

Yep we've had many times like that. We don't let it ruin our time though...We go with the thought of, as long as we're together then everything is good and we don't need any one else to make it enjoyable.

[paul929207]

We also enjoy being together, but we also like meeting and getting together with others. We also ask for a table for 6 in either TD or AD.

 

We often meet many people on our role call. I find that when we do tours thru it, we often wind up with 20 or so people that, in varying groups, takes the tours together and really gets to know each other.

[preschool teacher]

We do sometimes but it's great when it clicks.....just beyoursel and keep trying......we have meet a lot of people cruising but have not made any life long friends like some have.......

[mitsugirly]

I have found that each cruise is different. I have been on roll calls that I have made life long friends with. We talk daily, text, call each other, plan future cruises.

 

Then I've been on cruises that I have no contact with any of them after the cruise.

 

It's pretty much a hit or miss in my opinion. :)

[grand isle joe]

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they just don’t fit in with groups on cruises? Almost always it seems like the other people at my table or on excursions bond really well together enhancing their experience, while my wife and I are kind of left out. I make it a point to be friendly and outgoing when in group settings, but often I (we) am ignored like I am not even there. No one has ever been unkind to me/us, or rude in any way, just…dismissive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves, and mostly choose private tables and excursions to avoid that “outsider” feeling, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The times that we have been accepted by the people we are grouped with tend to be some of the most magical and memorable.

 

I try to embrace everyone’s differences and enjoy them for the people that they are. It’s what makes life so interesting.

 

 

 

By the looks of your travel listing you have had quite an interesting itinery. I find alot of what is said at the table is to impress rather than converse. Sounds like you have a wonderful travel partner and don't need much else to complete your cruise. Some are not so lucky and search for something to fill their personal void. An old Irish saying " if you live your life with as many friends as fingers on one hand less two, you lived a wonderful life". I would love to share a table with you just for the travel stories you can share. Happy sailings to you and yours.:)

[cb at sea]

So far, we've "gotten along" with all of our tablemates....you don't have to become great, lifelong friends, but we do enjoy the socializing part of dinner.

 

It's really all attitude, I think....if you go in with the thought that you may not "get along", you probably won't. If you go in with an attitude that everyone is interesting, and you're willing to listen (as well as share!), that can go a long way....sometimes, you simply have to be a bit more forceful in your "outgoing-ness"! Of course, if you're seated with a "group" of 6 who are already "friends" , it's harder to become a new group. Just keep on trying!

[Ashland]

Yes. But it was a good thing..have had it happen in the DL onboard...Wasn't into or cared to be part of the relentless bragging and click they created..However getting to the DL early one evening we made the mistake of sitting in the area they usually held court in and overheard that because of that "things seemed off that night"..We enjoyed our cruise nevertheless..

[beachbum53]

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they just don’t fit in with groups on cruises? Almost always it seems like the other people at my table or on excursions bond really well together enhancing their experience, while my wife and I are kind of left out. I make it a point to be friendly and outgoing when in group settings, but often I (we) am ignored like I am not even there. No one has ever been unkind to me/us, or rude in any way, just…dismissive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves, and mostly choose private tables and excursions to avoid that “outsider” feeling, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The times that we have been accepted by the people we are grouped with tend to be some of the most magical and memorable.

 

I try to embrace everyone’s differences and enjoy them for the people that they are. It’s what makes life so interesting.

 

Maybe it's your aftershave?:eek: Seriously, though, like others have said, sometimes you "click" with other people, sometimes you don't. Don't take it personally (we don't when it doesn't happen). No doubt that with 2,000 to 3,000 people on the ship, if you could meet them all, you'd most likely make several new friends. But on a typical 7 day cruise, there's no way you could possibly meet and get to know everyone.

[sail7seas]

We also enjoy being together, but we also like meeting and getting together with others. We also ask for a table for 6 in either TD or AD.

 

<snip>

 

 

Please help me out here.........

I cannot figure out what you mean by TD or AD. :o

I try hard to figure out all the new abbreviations everyone uses but there are just too many.

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

OP ..... if the others at the table already know eachother, then it is difficult and often the newcoming couple feels left out.

 

If you are all meeting for the first time, it's like any social setting. Sometimes you meet someone you simply like or are more interested in than someone else. Nothing wrong with any of the folks..... it might be they have more in common such as family/education/work/where they live etc

 

Be pleasant, a good listener and contribute to the conversation and what will be, will be.

Have a great time no matter! :)

 

[lady_cruiser]

We feel the same way. Usually there is just the two of us at a table with eight people who seem to be traveling together and the conversation is always about someone they all know back home.

 

Even on excursions I always try and smile, tell everyone hello and try and start a conversation but while they are polite the majority of the time they just seem not interested in talking.

 

Oh well, that is life.

[OCruisers]

A good thing to ask when you are at a table when everyone else seems to know each other is ... "When did you folks meet and become friends?"

 

People love to talk about themselves. Pick up on it and act interested in where they're living and what they're doing.

[pris993]

We are just the opposite. We actually always ask for a table for 2 and do our own independent shore tours. We prefer to stay to our selves.

 

We have friends who travel and usually book cruises with a group. Part of the reason they do so, is they enjoy traveling with others. Some travel agents specialize in putting together groups. You might look for such bookings.

[dln929]

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they just don’t fit in with groups on cruises? Almost always it seems like the other people at my table or on excursions bond really well together enhancing their experience, while my wife and I are kind of left out. I make it a point to be friendly and outgoing when in group settings, but often I (we) am ignored like I am not even there. No one has ever been unkind to me/us, or rude in any way, just…dismissive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves, and mostly choose private tables and excursions to avoid that “outsider” feeling, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The times that we have been accepted by the people we are grouped with tend to be some of the most magical and memorable.

 

I try to embrace everyone’s differences and enjoy them for the people that they are. It’s what makes life so interesting.

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing such an honest, introspective post about something that I bet a lot of us feel but would never dare express. My husband and I have often felt that same feeling. I've come to the conclusion that it's simply luck of the draw whether you fall in with people on your cruise and "click," as many have mentioned, or you don't. There's really no rhyme or reason to it. Nor does it have anything to do with how nice a person you are. Or how nice the other people are. We prefer (who doesn't?) an amenable group of people because it greatly enhances the cruise experience, but if that's not the case, we love each other and are quite content in our own company. We know if we don't fit in with the group--for whatever reason--it's just the way the cookie crumbles and has nothing to do with any defect on our part. It makes the cruise different, that's for sure, and sometimes very romantic! A lot can happen with your spouse when you're not thrown into a big social whirl on a cruise ship, you know. ;) And that's a good thing!

[John Bull]

Usually there is just the two of us at a table with eight people who seem to be traveling together and the conversation is always about someone they all know back home.

 

.

 

We've always shared with 2 or 3 or 4 other separate couples, and gotten on well.

 

But if a group of eight travelling together - especially a family - shares at a table of ten, then its almost certain the other couple will be treated as intruders. Perhaps deliberately, to get rid of them.

Nothing to do with the sociability of the couple, they're onto a loser plain & simple.

We've had that a couple of nights on "my time" & its part of "some you win & some you lose"

But don't put up with that on fixed seating for an entire cruise, ask (even demand if neccessary) that the Maitre D' move you to a more mixed table. Do it at the end of that first evening, when there'll be a fair bit of re-jigging going on - if you try to stick it out for a couple of evenings it may be difficult to find you another table.

 

JB :)

[gerryl12]

please help me out here.........

i cannot figure out what you mean by td or ad. :o

i try hard to figure out all the new abbreviations everyone uses but there are just too many.

 

how about traditional dining and anytime dining. (it just went click)

imho

[boogs]

Please help me out here.........

I cannot figure out what you mean by TD or AD. :o

I try hard to figure out all the new abbreviations everyone uses but there are just too many.

 

Thanks.

 

 

I think gerryl12 has the answer - Traditional Dining and Anytime Dining. I looked at the acronym list on the FAQ page and they aren't listed there: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/faq.php?faq=vb3_reading_posting#faq_acronyms

 

I have a tech geek friend who constantly abbreviates everything. Drives me crazy since much of what he writes I have to ask what it means. Takes three times as long to get the message across than if he used full words to begin with.

[wwcruisers]

We also enjoy being together, but we also like meeting and getting together with others. We also ask for a table for 6 in either TD or AD.

 

We often meet many people on our role call. I find that when we do tours thru it, we often wind up with 20 or so people that, in varying groups, takes the tours together and really gets to know each other.

 

You beat me to it :p -- I was going to suggest that the OP join the roll-call for their next cruise, as early as possible. It's great to get to know some of the folks you'll be sailing with, ahead of time. Often, various activities (cabin-crawls, slot-pulls, etc) are planned on roll-calls, so you have many opportunities to meet and mingle with your fellow-cruisers, once you are onboard.

And, as far as being uncomfortable dining with strangers goes, that's why most ships have anytime dining! :cool:

[cruiselover57]

Does anyone else out there ever feel like they just don’t fit in with groups on cruises? Almost always it seems like the other people at my table or on excursions bond really well together enhancing their experience, while my wife and I are kind of left out. I make it a point to be friendly and outgoing when in group settings, but often I (we) am ignored like I am not even there. No one has ever been unkind to me/us, or rude in any way, just…dismissive.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves, and mostly choose private tables and excursions to avoid that “outsider” feeling, but sometimes it is unavoidable. The times that we have been accepted by the people we are grouped with tend to be some of the most magical and memorable.

 

I try to embrace everyone’s differences and enjoy them for the people that they are. It’s what makes life so interesting.

 

I know exactly how you feel - there are many rude people aboard ships but then again, there are some very nice people and lots of them! Try to just ignore those rude people who think they're better than anyone else. I look at it this way - ships are so big and there are so many things to do. You can have Anytime Dining and choose to sit by yourselves or ask to sit with different people everynight (like we do) and have met some really great people. Another example: If a trivia group is almost full and they say they don't have room, move on to another group - no big deal - that happened to me, I felt sort of sad but then ended up on a great team and we won! You should've seen the looks on their faces when I walked away with my precious prize of a luggage tag! LOL

[sail7seas]

imho

 

 

 

boogs

 

I think gerryl12 has the answer - Traditional Dining and Anytime Dining. I looked at the acronym list on the FAQ page and they aren't listed there: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/faq.p...g#faq_acronyms

 

I have a tech geek friend who constantly abbreviates everything. Drives me crazy since much of what he writes I have to ask what it means. Takes three times as long to get the message across than if he used full words to begin with.

 

 

 

 

Thanks.

I really didn't know.

So many abbreviations and I do not know all of them.

 

People are now bringing their 'text' language to the forums and for those of us who don't text, it takes us an age to read the messages they post. :sigh:

 

 

[firefly333]

Some times you just need to say its them and not you.

 

Example: We had a gay couple/gals on a cruise who wanted the time together (so why book traditional I dont know), and sat with empty seats between us and them. Ordered everything on the menu that was vegetarian, no one else was vegetarian, and then proceeded to feed each other bites.

[lovevacadays]

I guess I've been lucky in my 16 cruises. I've never felt left out. I've cruised solo twice and there were always people of all ages both single and married including me. I've cruised with my mom, sister, friends, ex-husband, and nieces at different times on my other cruises. Really never felt left out. That's one of the things I love about cruising. I will say some sailing have been better than others. None bad, though. I think it's great that you can find people to do things with if you are so inclined but you can also stay to yourself if you are inclined to do so.

 

Sorry that hasn't been your experience.

[lovevacadays]

A good thing to ask when you are at a table when everyone else seems to know each other is ... "When did you folks meet and become friends?"

 

People love to talk about themselves. Pick up on it and act interested in where they're living and what they're doing.

 

Very good suggestion. I've done that and I'm one doesn't have to act interested I am interested in people. I love hearing their stories. Of course, some people are more friendly than others and some are more interesting than others.

[dolittle]

It is the luck of the draw two years on a cruise in the Med. we just did not click with anyone they were nice but I dont know why just blah.Then this year on a T.A we met a lot of great people we really clicked with couples and singles at the Antime Dining.

[OCruisers]

Very good suggestion. I've done that and I'm one doesn't have to act interested I am interested in people. I love hearing their stories. Of course, some people are more friendly than others and some are more interesting than others.

 

:D Hear you on the "act interested" thing. Like you, I'm actually interested in others and have no problem. Just thought, some who are a bit shy or whatever and actually wish to meet others would benefit from showing interest "act interested" in others.

 

Same is true with the OP ... When in a group of others who all know each other, become interested in them and where they met and what they've been doing (upcoming plans) for port stops. People very much like to talk about themselves ... play on it and you'll normally quickly be included!