Redneck Review of a Caribbean Cruise: Riviera 12/12/15

[RedneckBob]

Hi y'all Redneck Bob hear.

 

Well the misses (Thelma) and me (Bob) just completed our 6th cruise on Oceania on the Riviera, 10 day Caribbean, 12/12/15. I wish I could say it was another great cruise but I cant. It was a little disapponting.

 

We actually did a b2b, first on Holland America out of Port Everglades, 7 days, 12/05/15, and then drove to Miami and boarded the Riviera on 12/12/15. I cant believe that I can say that is was a downgrade from HAL to Oceania; from best cruise ever to just fair-good cruise. Well hear goes.

 

As mentioned to y'all last February on this CC site, the arrangements on the ship had not changed. At breakfast that prettly little French server behind the counter still told me that she did not no what "Gets" were (grits) and they were not served on this boat, pancake batter was still being rationed based on size of the pancakes at the Terrace Cafe and the Wave Grill was honoring Kobe Bryants retirement from the NBA by offering a "KOBE" burger instead of a "Dwayne Wade" Burger out of Miami.

 

And there's more. Day 1 I went to every bar on this boat and there were NO Diet Cokes; just something called "Cola Lite". Never heard of this. The shape of the can reminded me of that lubricate I use to get from Jimmy's Garage in Elba, Alabama; you pour into the crank case to make your engine run smoother. So I tried the Cola Lite and it did taste like that lubricate ! Then I asked that bar tender, Let me see that can; and do you know that the list of stuff in the can was in a foreign language; I guess to hide what's inside. Well Thelma and me decided on our first day in Port, Key West, to go to CVS and get a 12 pack of Diet Cokes. And we did and when we got back, all those bars on the boat now had Diet Cokes. Well I be dogged !

 

I guess I got sidetrack with my review.

 

Well, the ship was beautiful, the food was great at those special restaurants along with good service but so so at the other restaurants. Almost felt at home having to carry my dirty dishes and glasses in the TC from my table to the service stations along with getting coffee and drinks myself. The staff at the TC seemed confused as to what they were suppose to do; like deer in a headlight; no offense to deer, please.

 

Never went to shows. Too late. I use to getting up early to go hurting every day.

 

Boy, did we meet some nice folks on this cruise. There were a lot of doctors and had dinner with one and his wife, Luther and Mable. Good southerners; actually from South Florida. And then I met a doctor who said he was a proctologist. I asked him what was that. He told me and I said what? Then my mind began to wonder and only could imagine if this ship has a proctogist seminar. I would have to scope it out to see what wide open discussions would be behind closed doors :eek: !

 

Let's get back on track. Ports of call were ok. rained in Cozemul, arrived late in Cayman's on Sunday and most of shops closed; had only a few hours there. But rest of ports were pretty good.

 

Overall I would give this cruise a 7 out of 10 and hope these folks do a better job next time.

 

 

 

"I'm Redneck Bob and see it the way I tell it, I mean tell it the way I see it."

 

(the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

[RedneckBob]

...... Oh I forgot to mention one more thing.

 

On the last day of the cruise, Thelma and me went to breakfast at the MDR and upon our return to our cabin at 9:30 AM, things had changed.

 

The water glasses had been replaced with those plastic glasses, our extra towels were taken from the bathroom, no more robes, one less toilet paper; just like at home when we are traveling around the USA and stay at our favorite resorts: Days Inn and Motel 6 !

 

Don't no why Oceania did this; put just a quick thanks you Oceania for making our transition from luxury ship to home more easy.

[caviargal]

I have been following recent Oceania - particularly the Riviera - reviews and they have made me hesitant to book another. Our first Oceania cruise was quite wonderful but the most recent reviews reflect - IMO - too much cost cutting that affect the overall experience.

 

We are on hold with future plans to cruise with O and will be sticking to the rivers for our next few trips to Europe or looking elsewhere.

Edited December 24, 2015 by caviargal

[hypercafe]

Thanks for your insite on your trip. Glad to hear you had a good time. We took some trips on them and had fun, my wife likes the artists loft. Oceania is stuck between mainstream lines and luxury lines, might be a tough place to be. I think I would rather go on a mainstream line or if feeling rich go to the luxury. I never lighted the "Lite" concept in anything.

[SoBe2010]

Maybe I missed the joke here. Coke light is diet coke. Just a different name for marketing purposes in Europe.

[DOJO466]

Maybe I missed the joke here. Coke light is diet coke. Just a different name for marketing purposes in Europe.

And a WAY different taste. We boarded after a TA one time and our fridge was stocked with cans written in Arabic and had a god awful taste. They were all exchanged by the next day.

[RedneckBob]

Maybe I missed the joke here. Coke light is diet coke. Just a different name for marketing purposes in Europe.

 

NOT SO, SoBe2010

 

Cola Lite taste terrible !

[hondorner]

I'm a diet cola addict. I much prefer Diet Pepsi, non-caffeinated especially, but I can adapt to almost anything. Diet Coke becomes my favorite on Oceania 'cause it's free (well, included in the fare) and unlimited. I've also adapted to non-caffeine Sam's Diet Cola when I'm feeling poor, and even a no-brand diet cola called "Diet Cola" for 2 bucks/12 pack when the budget really gets pinched (I absolutely, positively refuse to pay $4.98 for a 12 pack. If it's not on sale, I head for the cheaper brands. That's part of the reason I can afford a world cruise).

 

But, there are two diet colas to which I've never adapted -- one is Winn Dixie store brand Chek Diet Cola, and the other is Coke Lite. Coke Lite is supposed to be like Diet Coke, only renamed because men in the rest of the world feel like wimps if they drink something called "diet" (it's possible "diet" is also a swear word in some other language). "Supposed" to taste like Diet Coke, but the water in some of those places is undrinkable, no matter how much they filter it. Or something -- all I know is, it tastes different.

 

Of course, it doesn't make as much difference now that the Doc has restricted my fluid intake to keep my legs from swelling up. Now, I have to carefully choose when I drink my 2 - 3 cans per day, instead of walking around with a can in my hand every hour of the day. Oceania should be relieved; they won't have to stock as much just for me.

Edited December 24, 2015 by hondorner

[Hawaiidan]

I have always had that southern delight available on every cruise.... Actualy they make a very thick wheat cereal that while not hominy tastes as good or even better than creamy gits, and a quick stop at the omelet station can get you some cheese and bacon should you require it. The difference between creamy hominy grits and a wheat grits is almost non existent to the taste

 

SO.... its not so much not having something but HOW to ask for it.........

 

I start dolop of the wheat, add some sausage, and a dolop of eggs..dash of tobasco and green onions ( or capers and onions from over by the Lox guy). Even better than grits....

 

Now , I like chili dogs and real chili.....on a recent Tahiti to NY on Marina, I had a wonderful conversation with the Waves line cooks and they began to crank out some lethal chili... and to build a classic chili dog you eat open face...

I also got them to make burgers and NOT assemble them so I could do a classic "Bobs Big boy" ( you can have your Kobe or Waygu) which is the finest and original double deck gourmet ( created in1936 inGlendale)

 

 

 

Hey if you dont see it made, they have all the parts, if your creative to build it your self........

[Wendy The Wanderer]

Can't anybody take a joke?

[RedneckBob]

Can't anybody take a joke?

 

 

Yippe!

 

Someone finally figured me out; satirically speaking.

 

You must have some Southern blood in you.

[TrulyBlonde]

Yippe!

 

Someone finally figured me out; satirically speaking.

 

You must have some Southern blood in you.

 

I have seen your posts somewhere on another cruise board. When I saw your name on the O Board, I looked forward to reading and enjoy your humor.

I am not from the South but remember taking my daughters and their friends to DisneyWorld when they were about 13yrs. One of the girls was from Georgia and she wanted "Grits with Cheeeeese". We all wondered what the heck that was and it was a fun learning experience for all. Lot's of laughter!

[RedneckBob]

I have seen your posts somewhere on another cruise board. When I saw your name on the O Board, I looked forward to reading and enjoy your humor.

I am not from the South but remember taking my daughters and their friends to DisneyWorld when they were about 13yrs. One of the girls was from Georgia and she wanted "Grits with Cheeeeese". We all wondered what the heck that was and it was a fun learning experience for all. Lot's of laughter!

 

Thanks.

 

I frequently post on HAL and currently have a review of the Westerdam, Part 1 that was a b2b with the Riviera.

 

Just remember, and this from the movie "My Cousin Vinny"; "no respectful southerner would ever eat instant grits".

[LHT28]

Can't anybody take a joke?

Was there a joke here ???

[ronrick1943]

RedneckBOB, pretty funny, I enjoyed it.

Rick

[PaulMCO]

NOT SO, SoBe2010

 

Cola Lite taste terrible !

 

Reason Coke Lite is terrible -- contains Saccharin -- that is why the bitter aftertaste. Diet Coke is sweetened with aspartame.

 

By the way who was the GM on the ship -- it generally makes the difference.

Edited December 24, 2015 by PaulMCO

[RedneckBob]

Reason Coke Lite is terrible -- contains Saccharin -- that is why the bitter aftertaste. Diet Coke is sweetened with aspartame.

 

By the way who was the GM on the ship -- it generally makes the difference.

 

GM was Damien Lacroix

[Silver Sweethearts]

Now , I like chili dogs and real chili.....on a recent Tahiti to NY on Marina, I had a wonderful conversation with the Waves line cooks and they began to crank out some lethal chili... and to build a classic chili dog you eat open face...

I also got them to make burgers and NOT assemble them so I could do a classic "Bobs Big boy" ( you can have your Kobe or Waygu) which is the finest and original double deck gourmet ( created in1936 inGlendale)

 

Are you truly serious that your idea of a gourmet burger is Bob's Big Boy, and the ship can keep the Kobe/Wagyu beef since you prefer what Bob's uses??

Edited December 25, 2015 by Silver Sweethearts

[CintiPam]

Thank you for some long overdue smiles and chuckles on this board!

[Flatbush Flyer]

RedneckBOB, pretty funny, I enjoyed it.

 

Rick

 

 

Try as he might, Redneck Bob is no Jo Bob (Briggs, that is) when it comes to writing humorous reviews.

[Hawaiidan]

Are you truly serious that your idea of a gourmet burger is Bob's Big Boy, and the ship can keep the Kobe/Wagyu beef since you prefer what Bob's uses??

 

Yes....a Properly made Bobs Big boy, using the 1936 relish ( not the stuff today) and the proper cheese and an assembly thats correct ( the big boys of today are nothing like the classic....Sad to say.

The waygu and kobe when ground dosen't have the flavor of inferior ground chuck... and the ratio of meat to other ingredients all wrong.

Todays burgers are all too cute and a garbage bucket of irrational flavors,

 

I make my own Bobs today using the original ingredients...

 

So let me reiterate, I believe that using the original 1936-1970 recipe and ingredients and assembly, that it is vastly superior to these cute Kobe hockey pucks and all the other "gourmet" so called burgers of today

Calvin Trillin thinks so too................

I just had a Waygu at the French Laundry last week and was not that impressed with it.... Gimme a grilled duck breast any day.

[pakitin]

RedneckBob

 

Next time you cruise with GM Damien Lacroix just ask him for some of his emergency supply of Diet Coke.

 

He is French but his wife Jaqui is from NY and does not like Coca Cola Lite so he keeps a twelve pack of Diet Coke in his cabin refrigerator

 

He just boarded the ship on your cruise and had a fresh supply.

 

As far as the grits he can not help since he is partial to French ommelete.

 

I enjoyed your review.

 

Paco

[ChucktownSteve]

Just remember, and this from the movie "My Cousin Vinny"; "no respectful southerner would ever eat instant grits".

 

No truer words were ever sprouted. :D However the quote actually is, "No self-respecting southerner uses instant grits" :p

[RedneckBob]

Try as he might, Redneck Bob is no Jo Bob (Briggs, that is) when it comes to writing humorous reviews.

 

Boy, I thought this was the Cruise Critic not writing critic; and did not know it was a competition. I'm just trying to bring a little smile or laughter into this board sense it seems things have gotten a little too serious lately.

 

Thanks for waiting to Christmas Day to share your comments :( !

 

What's the saying Buy Humming Bird :D !

[RedneckBob]

RedneckBob

 

Next time you cruise with GM Damien Lacroix just ask him for some of his emergency supply of Diet Coke.

 

He is French but his wife Jaqui is from NY and does not like Coca Cola Lite so he keeps a twelve pack of Diet Coke in his cabin refrigerator

 

He just boarded the ship on your cruise and had a fresh supply.

 

As far as the grits he can not help since he is partial to French ommelete.

 

I enjoyed your review.

 

Paco

 

Thanks and thanks for the information