Funniest Complaints Heard While Cruising

[Bailey & Sophie]

My husband and I have been doing this the past 10 cruises. On the last evening, we get a beverage and sit and listen to all the complaints (some are legit of course), but some are just too funny, very entertaining.

I would love to do this. Hubby probably would not let me. This would rate up there with pier runners.

[CMurph]

We were waiting to get a small issue corrected and heard an elderly woman trying to figure out why her diamond + status wasn't showing. It was a legitimate complaint, but they were having a hard time finding proof of her status. The interesting part was she kept saying "I'm traveling with 20 other people!" She kept repeating this and everyone was looking at each other wondering what that had to do with anything. She was told they would contact her TA & get back to her as soon as they could, but she wouldn't leave...just kept saying...."but, I'm traveling with 20 other people". I guess she thought these 20 people would vouch for her really being a diamond plus.

[awhfy]

A couple of cruises ago on the first night our bed broke. Just plopped me on the floor. DH & I had a good laugh, pushed the bed back together & went back to sleep. Next morning we told the room steward (who was horrified that we hadn't called him at 2 am). He said the gentleman on the last cruise was rather substantial (what an understatement, the welds on the bed were broken, but couldn't be seen as broken - our room steward was not to blame).

 

We didn't think another thing about it until dinner when the hotel director came to our table (with a really nice bottle of wine) & asked if we were all right, we said oh we're fine. He looked perplexed & said, didn't your bed break last night? We said it had, but that after 45 years it was rather exciting...all cruise we kept getting gifts in our cabin. Our table mates were in hysterics.

 

The captain found us in the Martini Bar & wanted to meet the acrobats...we had a great laugh

 

Sometimes not complaining about something is a lot more fun

 

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Edited October 20, 2016 by awhfy

[Birubi]

Again a gem heard while waiting in line at GS.

 

We had sailed during the time change. An elderly gent wanted to know how much he would be compensated for the 1 hour of his cruise he had lost due to the time change!

 

NO I am NOT kidding!!!

 

My Dad, all of 90 years old, thought he would have a joke with the Captain. We had just sailed across the International Date Line and 'lost' a day. When he saw the Captain he headed straight for him and complained that he was too old to loose a day. The Captain was duly receptive of the complaint until he saw the humour of it and laughed. The following year we were on another ship, going the the opposite way, with the Captain who had been the butt of Dad's joke the previous year. The Captain recognised Dad when they met. We sailed across the Date line and 'gained' a day. The Captain sent a certificate to Dad, returning the day that was lost the previous year. He still has the certificate and it is the best story we have of our many cruises. :D

 

Have not stopped laughing since I started reading this thread. Thank you everyone for your contributions. :)

[Joyful Joyful]

This is the best bunch of posts that I have read in a long time! I will pay attention on the Freedom in November when we go, and maybe can add something!

 

Keep them coming....!

[JimAOk1945]

This thread is great!!! Thanks for starting it!

[Ocean Dancer]

Many years age we took my dear mother on a surprise cruise. She had her own cabin next door. Once our luggage arrived, we went to her room to help get the luggage in the room for her. We found a very frustrated woman who looked not too happy.

 

"What's the matter Mom?"

 

Her answer, "I need a screw driver so I can open the window to get some fresh air "

 

My DH turned down the A/C as I tried to explained to her that the windows do not open.

 

RIP MOM :)

[runningtide]

No cruise related but still fits within the spirit of the thread.

 

 

"......So, I said" what did you expect its Disney, not Vegas!!!" he says, maybe true, but we spent a lot of money to come here... his wife turns around and tells him to "SHUT THE HELL UP, FOR FORTY YEARS NOTHING IS EVERY GOOD ENOUGH, its no wonder why the dog ran away!!!"

 

I love the comment "its no wonder why the dog ran away!!!" Im glad so many are enjoying this thread.

[Desert Cruizers]

I don't know if this has happened to anyone, but two years ago I was doing a Coastal with friends of ours and DH decided to stay home. Well I had problems with my Sea Pass Card deactivating and was now on my 3rd card when we arrived in Astoria and was getting off for a tour. They scanned my card and then asked for me to step aside, wondering Now What, I looked at the booth where the crew member sits seeing the photos of each passenger and and there is my photo and a mans photo showing up on my Card. The crew member looks and says, " Well that is you but who is this other guy. " LOL Needless to say when i got back on board it was back to GR and a new Card. By this time it became a laughing matter.

[riclop]

My neighbors are having to much sex and she is so loud.

[runningtide]

I had posted this on another thread last year and just remembered it...Its not about complaints, but something dumb I did on a previous cruise...

 

This event was on Graneur of the Seas in July 2009. We stopped at Samana, a port in the Dominican Republic. While on the beach, a local insisted he could sell me Cohiba Cuban Cigars for very cheep prices. They looks and felt real, with government sealed boxes. I checked around and most agreed they were real. So knowing several friends that would appreciate these, I bought several boxes (about 100 cigars) and headed back to the ship.., proud of my accomplishment.

 

That night at the Schooner bar talking about our day with some other guest, I mentioned my cigar score, and one gentleman started giving me advise on how to sneek thee cigars thru customs in Baltimore. (That is unless I planned to smoke all of them over the next two days). I looked at my wife with obvious confusion and surprise on my face. I never even realized these would have to go thru customs. (To this day I don't understand why I didn't realize this)

 

Anyway..., I didn't take the guys advise of opening the boxes and spreading them around my suit case. I just placed them in my luggage, filled out the custom forms stating I purchased cigars in the Dominican Republic, and crossed my fingers that customs wouldn't discover them as Cubans.

 

In Baltimore the next morning, my family headed to the Windjammer for breakfast before we were to disembark the ship. I stayed behind checking we had everything out of the stateroom, then headed for the elevators. As I walked towards the Centrum, an announcement made over the PA.."Would the following passengers please report to US Customs in the Conference room on deck 5..." I didn't pay any attention as the names were read, until the last name was mine !

 

OPPS...:-0 I ran up to the Windjammer to let my wife know what was going on, kissed the kids and asked them to write me while I was in prison, and headed down to Deck 5. When I located the conference room, inside there were several uniform oficers each with a small desk, and the largest German Shepard I have ever seen, next to the door as I walked in. He gave me a knowing look like "Gotcha Punk" as i waited my turn. An officer called next, I walked over and sat down, while he pulled out a long computer printout with my name on it. It listed the purchases (bar bill for the most part). Rather embarrassing how many pages were attached. He asked for my customs form, and I sat there waiting for the shoe to drop.

 

"Sir" he said, holding my customs forms and the sail pass printout, "you did not claim several gift shop purchases listed on the Sail Pass printout." I let out a quiet lung full of breath, thinking what is he talking about when I looked at the form and realized my wife bought some gifts and I forgot to claim them on the customs form. The officer handed me a new form and asked me to fill out another and bring it back. After I returned it and he stamped my form, I left the room passing by the German Shepard at the door. The dog looked up at me and gave me a sniff, before I left to return to my family and life as a free man . I really though when they called me I had been caught.

 

Not sure what really would have happened if I did get caught. For all I know the cigars were not even Cuban, but the seals and wrapping convinced my grateful friends. Regardless, this made a great story for the an FBI agent friend of mine, who I presented one of the boxes of cigars to a few days later.

Edited October 20, 2016 by runningtide

[Larry&Darla]

take heart cruisers, (or worry even more)

 

it's not just cruisers.

 

on the train from Anchorage Alaska to Talkeetna a passenger said

and i quote,

 

" I wish they would cut some of these trees down so we would have a better view".

[J_Busworth]

Whilst on the Rhapsody, a lady at guest services was complaining to an agent about how the cruise line should never have stops on Sunday as everything was closed and ruins the stop. This was just after getting back in from Noumea on a Sunday. On disembarkation morning the same lady was unhappy that we had entered Sydney Harbour before sunrise and demanded that the ship go back to sea and return to allow her to see the heads at the entrance of Sydney Harbour in daylight. Didn't happen. She said she would never return, probably a good thing. :rolleyes:

 

 

On Radiance a man was complaining about how he was discriminated against and would sue the cruise line because he was not chosen for the worlds sexisest man competition because he was too short. :confused: Also on this cruise, a lady compalined to the captain that the ship wasn't rocking enough and he just laughed and said I'll see what I can do.

[cruise47]

Wow the ocean is not blue and I thought that all cruise ships was liked the love boat on television.

[bazbov]

Hello OP and thanks for this thread.loving the stories.

 

Last year on one of the Costa ships, we heard a British man complaining about the cost of a cappuccino coffee on board and he refused to pay 1.80€. This same person was in port i believe it was Rome, and we saw him in a cafe where he ordered a cappuccino. The cost of this was well over 5€. when we laughingly pointed this out to him,he replied "it's the principle of the thing".

 

On another cruise we heard a lady in the ships restaurant order the wild mushroom soup as a starter. a few seconds later her husband exclaimed "Marjorie, you don't like mushrooms" to which she said "i know, i only wanted to see what it looks like" the husband replied back well why didn't you just wait to see what mine was like, i ordered the same thing."

 

Happy cruising everyone. :)

[Caon74]

Was on anthem last year queuing at sorrentos for a slice of 🍕 when a woman rudely comes up and skips the line complaining that the pizza she got (full pizza) was too hot.The sever tells her that there's Just cheese on it and no spices at all.She replys I know that I meant the temperature is too hot and my kids can't eat it.He duly made her another one.She was on the Indy this year and was nearly lynched in the windjammer on numerous occasions for holding a table of 12 most mornings cause she wanted all of her extended family to have breakfast together.After a few days people just ignored her and sat down at the table including my wife.The first time someone sat down she had the cheek to complain to the manager but was politely told where too go.

[Deptacon]

In CoCo Cay "Why didnt Royal Caribbean remove all the jellyfish before we got here"

 

Not kidding.... She said it.

 

Oh i dont know.... Because its the ocean!?!?

 

 

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Edited October 20, 2016 by Deptacon

[bigque]

On my Adventure cruise last year we were participating in one of the trivia games and a woman with a group at one table just starting going off and went on and on and on complaining because she felt her team was cheated. She felt she answered the last question (which would have made her team win) before the team that did win. They finally did get her to calm down, but not before making a complete butt of herself. The people she was with looked so embarrassed. I don't know what kind of prize she taught she was going to get for winning cause everybody knows you get those little cheesy prizes for winning! I do believe alcohol had something to do with it! :eek: :D

[put me on a ship]

Another CocoCay one: OMG, there are fish in the water!

[christi1805]

As it happens right now and here on CC in the Harmony TA thread:

"We have arrived in Madrid! Only problem, I can't figure out where the cruise port is located. "

[welshrich]

As it happens right now and here on CC in the Harmony TA thread:

"We have arrived in Madrid! Only problem, I can't figure out where the cruise port is located. "

 

And these people are allowed to vote!

 

All of these are making me smile and making me wish I was on a ship right now. :D

[venicia]

at Coco Cay:

 

"OMG!!! there are shells in this water! You would think this would be cleaned up, we paid GOOD money for this cruise and this is in the water?????"

 

 

Standing in line for the tender and a female pushing her way to the front of the line.........stating she needed to get a shady place for her skin (We guessed it was the skin she was wearing, didn't see any other:D)

 

Ages ago at a large dining table an older man makes the statement, so I guess you are on this cruise???? Ah, Yep sure am and staying until we dock! Did not know him or his very, very, very well traveled wife.

[wendychloecruiser]

I was at guest services and an older couple demanded that the captain find good weather and that he should change the itinerary accordingly and if he doesn't she was demanding their money be refunded.

[Relax@Sea]

I was waiting in line to get off of the ship at a port that I cannot remember and a woman in front of me told security to call the Captain and tell him that She will be about 2 hours late from an excursion and that they need to wait for her. The Security agent told her that that the ship cannot wait past the scheduled time and that she needs to be back on board the ship by that time. She told the agent that she paid a lot of money for the excursion and that the ship will have to wait and walked off the ship.

Later the ship was calling for a passengers name before they left and I always wonder if it was that same Lady.

[packercruising]

Not a story, but something that cracked me up when we were on Costa. On the bak of the toilets is a sign that says, "Do not flush whilst seated". Somebody must have actually done that. :)