Meeting new people for dinner and table talk?

[frantic36]

9 hours ago, christraveller said:

We ran into a “sticky wicket” when randomly assigned table companion said some horrible racist things. I looked at the person and brought out my stern voice, “we don’t share those opinions at all in my culture!”  which ended the comments. Never saw them again. 

 

😁I use my old "Charge Nurse" voice, even my husband is scared of that one.😅

[rkacruiser]

9 hours ago, frantic36 said:

 

😁I use my old "Charge Nurse" voice, even my husband is scared of that one.😅

 

😄    When needed, and not always when I am on a cruise, I will use my MIddle School/Junior High Teacher voice.  Seems to help keep some unruly "adolescent" adults in check during my Homeowner's Association Annual Meetings.  

[Port Power]

On 3/5/2022 at 11:56 AM, christraveller said:

We ran into a “sticky wicket” when randomly assigned table companion said some horrible racist things. I looked at the person and brought out my stern voice, “we don’t share those opinions at all in my culture!”  which ended the comments. Never saw them again. 

I am going to remember that line. I would rather say something than just stay quiet in such an instance, but never knew what to say, nor wanted to start an argument.

[DCPIV]

On 3/4/2022 at 11:09 AM, jimdee3636 said:

The only surefire way to eliminate such discussions is to dine by yourselves.

 

That's not entirely true.  If someone does not take the hit when I attempt to change the subject, I have no problem with telling someone (in a polite and friendly manner) that I prefer not to discuss the topic at hand over dinner (or while at the bar or while on vacation or . . . whatever seems most appropriate at the time).  It usually sounds something like "people are going to believe whatever they will when it comes to something like that, but to be honest, I'd just as soon not get into this sort of thing over dinner and even less so while on vacation.  I don't mean to shut you down, but is that alright with you?"

 

That or something like it works darn near every time, and we nearly always go on to enjoy each other's company.  If that doesn't work, then I know we have someone we'll need to avoid in the future. 

[A Tucson Guy]

1 hour ago, DCPIV said:

 

That's not entirely true.  If someone does not take the hit when I attempt to change the subject, I have no problem with telling someone (in a polite and friendly manner) that I prefer not to discuss the topic at hand over dinner (or while at the bar or while on vacation or . . . whatever seems most appropriate at the time).  It usually sounds something like "people are going to believe whatever they will when it comes to something like that, but to be honest, I'd just as soon not get into this sort of thing over dinner and even less so while on vacation.  I don't mean to shut you down, but is that alright with you?"

 

That or something like it works darn near every time, and we nearly always go on to enjoy each other's company.  If that doesn't work, then I know we have someone we'll need to avoid in the future. 

And if it gets really bad, time to switch tables!!

[ronrick1943]

6 hours ago, Port Power said:

I am going to remember that line. I would rather say something than just stay quiet in such an instance, but never knew what to say, nor wanted to start an argument.

Not only say something, but I’d get up and ask the Maitre’d to move us—-if that’s not possible I leave and go to another restaurant on the ship.

[MBP&O2/O]

The phrase I have used on more than one occasion is "Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than to open it and prove it!"

[A Tucson Guy]

12 minutes ago, ronrick1943 said:

Not only say something, but I’d get up and ask the Maitre’d to move us—-if that’s not possible I leave and go to another restaurant on the ship.

Good option. I was thinking that but wanted to get others' feedback. This may be much ado about nothing but.... I have had to bite my tongue recently regarding this subject but that has about 75% business and 25% social. The world is getting crazier each day, but I am not looking for an off-ramp. 

[Host Jazzbeau]

2 hours ago, ronrick1943 said:

Not only say something, but I’d get up and ask the Maitre’d to move us—-if that’s not possible I leave and go to another restaurant on the ship.

Good idea – make sure the Maitre d' knows why you moved, to prevent inflicting the boor on other innocent guests!

[debbiecape]

I was on two cruises  in September and October of 2021...honestly politics Never came up!! I think we were all just so thrilled to be back cruising and enjoying life that we studiously avoided any controversial topics.  I'm leaving this Saturday on another cruise so we'll see how it goes this time.  I am by nature quite political and an activist but when cruising I need to just recharge and enjoy

[TheRampantSnail]

Quite honestly I would not worry about asking to share a table at dinner with others. We always do and on cruises on Azamara, Regent and Silversea we have, with only on exception, had enjoyable conversations with people from the UK, US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and some other countries. The one exception was on a Regent cruise where we joined two American couples who were already seated and conversing. It took them ten minutes to acknowledge our presence and then when they learned we had no interest in American football and that we did not have a property portfolio they decided we were of no interest to them continued just to talk amongst themselves and brag about the size of their holdings. We did, of course, leave the table. But, this was the only bad experience we have had.

I would add that we ask to sit at a table for six as it is easy to converse as a two, a three or the whole table and we find that the most flexible configuration.

[Tothesunset]

On an adjacent table on Seabourn one time were sitting 2 couples of typically English aspiring middle class. I love eavesdropping these sorts of conversations where each tries to outdo the other with their implied wealth and standing. 

 

I particularly chuckled when one started talking about their little place on France. Naturally, the other had a place, too. By the time they'd escalated their French holiday properties you'd be forgiven for thinking the owned Versailles and most of the Cote d'Azur!

 

Why, though? Is it a peculiarly English midde class thing? And the thing is that each knows the other is talking nonsense yet the artifice continues. It would be sad if it weren't so funny. 

[brittany12]

All our years of cruising its been a real pleasure when we meet up with like minded folks. Even more true today in the world of great political division. Now we are on the verge of a Western war with Russia where there could be those differences too.  Like minded people politically can make a real difference how one enjoys the meal together and the cruise in general. Those can be great conversations. One can quickly find out about politics by asking early in the meal a simple question in a even-handed mode: it's usually  "are a  'X" supporter?" Get it right out there on the table. It's better done with fours. If the answer is to our liking, we can continue on and have a really good time with those people who share our values and opinions. If not, talks about other things. We are always in search of people of high character, truth-telling, and good morals who also value that in their political candidates.

[frantic36]

3 hours ago, brittany12 said:

One can quickly find out about politics by asking early in the meal a simple question in a even-handed mode: it's usually  "are a  'X" supporter?" Get it right out there on the table. It's better done with fours. If the answer is to our liking, we can continue on and have a really good time with those people who share our values and opinions. If not, talks about other things. We are always in search of people of high character, truth-telling, and good morals who also value that in their political candidates.

 

That can make life very uncomfortable especially if seated at a small hosted table.

 

For example, we were dining with the Hotel Manager and one other couple. The other couple asked us very early on if we were an "X supporter"  which we most definitely aren't. We said no and we don't discuss politics at dinner, let's talk travel. The husband especially attempted a few times to slip in comments. We made it to just before dessert and left claiming tiredness...then went to the bar.

 

Not everyone may agree that your particular political candidate is a truth-teller or has good morals so that criteria is very narrow. We have had delightful times with people who we later found out support a different person but as long as we keep it away from politics we still can enjoy their company, and they seem to enjoy ours.

 

I am talking American and UK politics here as though I am from Australia I have many friends from overseas and they and online news keeps me in the loop.

 

 

Edited March 9, 2022 by frantic36

[DCPIV]

21 hours ago, brittany12 said:

All our years of cruising its been a real pleasure when we meet up with like minded folks. Even more true today in the world of great political division. Now we are on the verge of a Western war with Russia where there could be those differences too.  Like minded people politically can make a real difference how one enjoys the meal together and the cruise in general. Those can be great conversations. One can quickly find out about politics by asking early in the meal a simple question in a even-handed mode: it's usually  "are a  'X" supporter?" Get it right out there on the table. It's better done with fours. If the answer is to our liking, we can continue on and have a really good time with those people who share our values and opinions. If not, talks about other things. We are always in search of people of high character, truth-telling, and good morals who also value that in their political candidates.

 

Frankly, one of the reasons we travel is to learn, enjoy, and understand perspectives that we do not have (or yet have).  The reason we try to avoid certain topics is because too many tend to dwell on those and impose their values and opinions upon the conversation (even if we share them).  Even though I will deflect from political and religous topics, we actually enjoy discussing those topics with folks who are willing and able to do so in a manner where we all might learn something from each other.  Those are some of the best conversations we've ever had.

 

To use "like-minded" as a litmus test for dining sounds more like you are trying to create an awkward situation.  Were someone to ask if we were "X" supporters, that would be quite a red flag (unless "X" were something like "Liverpool" or "Dallas Cowboys").  

[rkacruiser]

5 hours ago, DCPIV said:

Even though I will deflect from political and religous topics, we actually enjoy discussing those topics with folks who are willing and able to do so in a manner where we all might learn something from each other.  Those are some of the best conversations we've ever had.

 

A significant example for me of what you are saying is when I met a couple whose faith was different from mine during a 64 day cruise.  Our first common "bond" was the cruise itself and the ports we were going to visit.  They had experiences in some of those ports that I didn't have.  During such a long cruise, our conversations evolved to other topics with religion and politics being among them.  We respected each other enough that we were able to discuss these sensitive topics in a friendly way.  I believe we learned from each other.  And, these good people are cherished friends today and people with whom I have sailed and visited since that initial cruise experience.  

 

5 hours ago, brittany12 said:

We can still talk about a whole range of other things like family, travel, food, wine, prior cruises, and good books, but nothing today is as important as politics.

 

If one is really open minded and one can find many topics to discuss with a person whose political views are different from yours, one can learn to respect that person's position as well as the other person being able to respect your political opinions.  

 

It doesn't take long in a discussion with people whom I meet to learn whether I will be interested in engaging them in a future conversation or not.  I have been known the need to "break off" a conversation because of the need to visit the loo.  (And, then find a different HH site for my pre-dinner/post-dinner libations.)  

[tgh]

A bit late to join in here but the opportunity to break bread with different folks has been the highlight of many cruises ; we always ask the Maitre 'd for a share table if possible.

There is often a huge range of personalities and demeanour but with a little effort the table mostly hums with conversation.

I do feel for the formal table hosts at times , sometimes  lumped with a group of high value customers who are sometimes replete with social manners that irritate lesser mortals.

I have also very occasionally been guilty taking a firm view in the face of divisive trenchant opinions that results in a quiet table as less forthright folks retreat into their dessert.

 

Executive summary : A good sign of a successful dinner is to be the last group to leave...

[frantic36]

6 hours ago, tgh said:

Executive summary : A good sign of a successful dinner is to be the last group to leave...

 

Having luckily been in that situation a few times I totally agree. It really helps make a cruise when you can have a good laugh and enjoyable meal.

 

Some of my closest friends today are people I have shared meals with on cruises. Even though they live in many parts of the world we have kept in contact. Even during these last tough couple of years we have shared experiences as we have dealt with current life.

[rkacruiser]

22 hours ago, tgh said:

 A good sign of a successful dinner is to be the last group to leave...

 

100% agree.  Don't know if our group was the last to leave, but, we were close!  

[drron29]

On 3/11/2022 at 9:00 AM, tgh said:

A bit late to join in here but the opportunity to break bread with different folks has been the highlight of many cruises ; we always ask the Maitre 'd for a share table if possible.

There is often a huge range of personalities and demeanour but with a little effort the table mostly hums with conversation.

I do feel for the formal table hosts at times , sometimes  lumped with a group of high value customers who are sometimes replete with social manners that irritate lesser mortals.

I have also very occasionally been guilty taking a firm view in the face of divisive trenchant opinions that results in a quiet table as less forthright folks retreat into their dessert.

 

Executive summary : A good sign of a successful dinner is to be the last group to leave...

Fortunately we often are the last to leave. 

[Silver Spectre]

On 3/4/2022 at 8:48 PM, fudge said:

On one of our last cruises we decided to have company, two of us and six people we didnt know. When we sat down I was sat next to a middle aged guy who had his arm in a sling, thinking he had broken his arm I felt really sorry for him. Actually he had a toy dog in the sling, he then passed around what looked like his business card, in fact it was his toy dogs web site.

He lost his dog some time ago and created a web site in his memory, he then bored us all to death with its history, he could hardly eat because of his sling, all very odd. It was the talk of the dining room, people approached us the next day to ask what that was all about? 

During the cruise the dog was with him all the time, around the pool, in the theatre, everywhere, each to their own I guess, what a weird night that was!

That’s almost as bad as people who travel with and take every opportunity to post photos of their stupid little plastic mannequin.

[DCPIV]

On 3/10/2022 at 5:00 PM, tgh said:

A good sign of a successful dinner is to be the last group to leave...

 

That's especially true when you're some of the first to sit down! 

[Bell Boy]

8 hours ago, Silver Spectre said:

That’s almost as bad as people who travel with and take every opportunity to post photos of their stupid little plastic mannequin.

Couldn't agree with you more , Those cocktail photos are becoming so ridiculous when so much could be shared of those wonderful places on a World Cruise. 

[May B]

On 3/8/2022 at 8:54 PM, debbiecape said:

I was on two cruises  in September and October of 2021...honestly politics Never came up!! I think we were all just so thrilled to be back cruising and enjoying life that we studiously avoided any controversial topics.  I'm leaving this Saturday on another cruise so we'll see how it goes this time.  I am by nature quite political and an activist but when cruising I need to just recharge and enjoy

Bon voyage, Debbie cape! 

[Tigger Mom]

Thought I would try posting on this thread although somewhat off topic. I'm considering traveling as a single to Antarctica in January 2023. I'm a single, sixty-something woman, not particularly gregarious. Don't mind being alone. I did just get home from an ocean cruise with a friend where I think eating alone would have been awkward and uncomfortable. Just wondering if the expedition style cruise would be "friendlier" for a single.