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Am I the bad guy?

Davechipp74

By Davechipp74,
in Norwegian Cruise Line

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Davechipp74

Davechipp74

Posted
Posted

I am heartbroken, last January I was solo in a balcony suite for my 49th birthday while on that cruise I booked a solo, forward facing penthouse w/balcony in the haven for my 50th birthday. Since then I have started dating a woman 34 w/ a 8y/o, I recently expressed to her that I can pay a bit more to bring her and Lucas on this sailing since I have already paid double occupancy it would not be a problem. Her response was "I can't take the time off work and Lucas has school." Now this was going to be my first time in the haven and my first platinum cruise (I was really really looking forward to this.) I cancelled it just now. I'm getting all $11,842.77 back because Sept. 19th is the 120 day cut off date, and this is prior. Am I an bad guy for thinking I'm gonna break up with them and enjoy my 10 day Bermuda/Caribbean birthday cruise. 

Once again this will be my first platinum and haven cruise. We have been dating for 4&1/2 months. I do not know what to do, she will never see this post as she is not on this social media. I have already canceled this cruise, but can most likely rebook at any time. Rant off*

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nhtravels

nhtravels

Posted
Posted

Either I'm psychic or this is the same thread you posted yesterday.  Are you hoping for different results?  I'm pretty sure that the general consensus was 1) that you should enjoy your trip and 2) after only 4.5 months, it was probably a bit early for a single mom and her young son to plan a trip like that.  

 

I do hope you get to enjoy your birthday.  And that if your new relationship is meant to be it all works out.

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phoenix1181

phoenix1181

Posted
Posted

 You posted this yesterday as Rant (the post seems to be gone now) & YES, you are the bad guy!  Take your cruise & enjoy yourself.  If the relationship is going to work out, she'll be there when you get home.

 

It seems you don't have an understanding of what being a parent entails, let alone a single parent.  First comes responsibility (work & school), then comes fun.  Additionally, vacation days are precious.  They're needed for school vacations and unplanned days off from school like snow days.

 

As wonderful as your trip may be, for her, especially since the relationship is relatively new, the burdens she's carrying take precedence over taking her child out of school and time off from work.

 

I'm thinking you have no children therefore no undestanding of the priorities .  Her child, and their needs, are going to come first for more than a few more years.  Accept it, or not.  Your call.  If she's important to you, learn to deal with the fact that you are not at the top of the list.  If you can't deal with that, move on!

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JeanKC

JeanKC

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Posted

Not sure why you cancelled in the first place......seemed a bit of a kneejerk reaction.to your new girlfriend not being able to go. Did she tell you that you shouldn't go or something? If so, that's ridiculous. If not, cancelling was ridiculous. Go, enjoy. End of. 

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kitkat343

kitkat343

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Posted

Look honestly as a parent I need to tell you that at 4.5 months you are normally barely ready to introduce a new boyfriend to your kid, let alone take them on a cruise.  I love cruises, but it's too much to combine one with a new relationship and a kid.  The mom isn't wrong for not going.  But that doesn't mean you have to break up with her - it just means you go alone (like you did last year) or with a friend/family member and continue to slowly move your relationship forward.  You shouldn't cancel your trip or break up with her unless you actually want to break up with her.  She's being a good parent here by not putting too much pressure on her kid by taking them on a cruise with a new boyfriend.  And if you can't handle that, then I guess you should break up with her because it isn't easy to date a single mom.  If she really loves you, she'll want you to go alone by yourself and have a good time.  I hope everything works out however it needs to and have a great birthday.  

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mjkacmom

mjkacmom

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I’m married, but if not I wouldn’t even introduce my child to someone in that short time period, and would be surprised I’d be asked to vacation with someone I’ve only known 4 months, never mind bringing my child and taking him out of school! Why in the world would this situation cause a breakup on your part?

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All-ready2cruise Holiday Sharing Rare

All-ready2cruise

Posted
Posted

Unfortunately, you may not have been considerate enough.  That's not a bad thing, it's just a misunderstanding.  Stop beating yourself up, you don't need to break up with her, just realize that she has responsibilities as an employee and most importantly as a mother. 

Go on your cruise, enjoy it and share your experience when get home.  

 

 

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david_sobe

david_sobe

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is confusing because breaking up with someone should have nothing to do with if your girlfriend can take time off from work to join you on your cruise.  That would be the most selfish reason for breaking up with someone.  Not everyone has the time for a cruise especially if they have a child.  It was a wonderful offer and gift. But your expectations are completely unreasonable. 

Go solo again.  That seems way too much money to spend traveling solo in the Haven. I don't know your financials but go with your heart whatever you like.

Edited by david_sobe
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puppycanducruise Holiday Sharing Rare

puppycanducruise

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I don't understand the issue.  You've only been seeing this person a short time, so if she puts her job and child ahead of a cruise, I say, Good for her.  She's got her head on straight.  Take a solo cruise and think about what you really want in life.   You're 50, she's 34 with an 8 year old.  Nothing wrong with the dynamics, but think!

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disneylover89

disneylover89

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, phoenix1181 said:

 You posted this yesterday as Rant (the post seems to be gone now) & YES, you are the bad guy!  Take your cruise & enjoy yourself.  If the relationship is going to work out, she'll be there when you get home.

 

It seems you don't have an understanding of what being a parent entails, let alone a single parent.  First comes responsibility (work & school), then comes fun.  Additionally, vacation days are precious.  They're needed for school vacations and unplanned days off from school like snow days.

 

As wonderful as your trip may be, for her, especially since the relationship is relatively new, the burdens she's carrying take precedence over taking her child out of school and time off from work.

 

I'm thinking you have no children therefore no undestanding of the priorities .  Her child, and their needs, are going to come first for more than a few more years.  Accept it, or not.  Your call.  If she's important to you, learn to deal with the fact that you are not at the top of the list.  If you can't deal with that, move on!

Perfectly said!!!

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RRSeeker

RRSeeker

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Posted

If I broke up with my husband every time he can't or won't go on a vacation with me I would have been divorced a long time ago.  I still go but normally with my sister or one of my adult children.  I happen to have 6 weeks vacation every year so it is easy for me to go on multiple trips with and without him.

 

I wouldn't break up with her unless it is more than just this that is an issue.  My advice is go on your trip and ask if she would like to join you someday in the future.  You could have fun planning a trip with her that includes her son at a time that works for her life.  She is being a responsible mother and employee which is a good trait and nothing to be upset about.

 

Good luck!

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Two Wheels Only

Two Wheels Only

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Davechipp74 said:

Am I an bad guy for thinking I'm gonna break up with them and enjoy my 10 day Bermuda/Caribbean birthday cruise. 

 

"Babe, I'm sorry that you guys can't go. I'll send you some pictures and text during my trip. Maybe we can plan something shorter in the future like a weekend cruise to the Bahamas...."

 

Take your solo cruise and have a good time. 

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BunnyHutt

BunnyHutt

Posted
Posted

Go on your trip. 
 

If you cannot handle the reality that you will always be #2 behind your new-ish girlfriend’s son then break up

with her. Honestly, she sounds like someone who has her priorities straight! You’re just in very different places in life. 

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schmoopie17

schmoopie17

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Davechipp74 said:

 I cancelled it just now. I'm getting all $11,842.77 back 

I think deep down you're happy to get your $11,842.77 back. Take the money and run...or re-book and go on the cruise. A bunch of internet strangers can't determine what you do in life.

 

And just for the record, I'M usually the bad guy,,,😉

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